A whacky little, short story: A Whacky Beau!

Chapter 1- The Hotdog Incident

If I had to give myself a name, it sure wouldn’t be Beau. I mean, it doesn’t even sound the way it’s spelt. Beau, Beau, Beau, night and day.

(Beau speaking to the readers here)

Hey, what’s up? As you know, my name is Beau. It’s spelled nothing like it sounds, but who cares? Am I right?

I’m just here to fill you in on what’s about to happen. Picture this, a mean-looking guy is about to swing a left punch right at me and I’m expected to dodge it unscathed because I’m what they call, a main character. But you’d be so wrong, take a closer look won’t yuh! I’m common folk and common folk are not the fighting type. I was taught to de-escalate situations not to escalate them.

Oh, and before you say I’m telling this story all over the place. Let’s take a few steps back before we get here, and in a few steps, I meant probably a few hundred.

“Rewinding noise”

Well, believe it or not, this is my backyard. Yes, I have a river in my backyard, my house is built like an old Chinese house and I’ve got no pets, a lot of trees, rocks everywhere, and sand why? Who the hell knows?

The occupants of this house/mansion are just me, my mom, and my little sister, Who I’d give an arm and a leg for if I must.

(A random man listening to Beau’s story in a bush behind the house gate) “Hey, I thought you said you were common folk!”

“I am simply the rich kind! Now shut up!”

Yes, where were we? My story starts off just like everyone else's in a terrible terrifying movie that only one character is likely to survive then to make it to the sequel and die there.

My mother sent me to the store to buy a cake for my sister's birthday, and me being the great brother that I am accepted without a second thought. I definitely didn’t remember accidentally eating a guy's food right out of his hand when I wasn’t paying attention then had no choice but to run away because I was too embarrassed to say sorry……an..anan..well you get it.

The root I’m taking is back to that same store where I saw the man, but what are the chances that he’s there today I said to myself. Like fate doesn’t hate me that much, right?

Oh, what a fool I was, turns out he was there, but over the street in the next store, so, it wasn’t that bad I just had to get in the store and out without him ever noticing I was ever there.

Fate doesn’t hate me that much, right?

“Ring” (The store's doorbell just rang)

Now let’s see here I think I should ask the worker for help I can’t find the cake aisle.

“Hi, excuse me, sir, I need to buy a cake which lane are they in?”

“I’m sorry, but we're out of cakes at the moment. You can come back in a few hours; we should have by then.”

“Well, well, well, look who it is, the hotdog stealer.”

Epp! Shit, shit, shit.

“Um, excuse me again sir, but can you describe what the guy behind me looks like?”

“Yes, well, he’s about your height, very muscular, with a beard and a tattoo on his left shoulder that says, ‘I eat nerds for dinner.’”

“Ah, I see, sound like someone I know. Well, I’ll see you back here later for that cake. I have to run now.”

“Huh? Run….”

“You aren’t going to outrun me this time boy! Get back here!!!!”

“Fast-forwarding sound”

There we go. Now you're up to date.

“Please, sir listen to me won’t yah! I’m sorry that I ate your hotdog, I didn't mean to. I know it sounds dumb because I just ate it out of your hand, but I swear I zone out sometimes and do regrettable things so can you find it in your heart to forgive me.”

“Great speech kid, I liked it. But I don’t like you. Eat this!”

“And that’s how I got the black eye.”

“Where can I find this man? I’d like to have a word with him.”

“Mom, it’s okay. I deserved it really; I should know better not to zone out like that.”

“And what about your sister's cake?”

“I’m going back for it later. The store was out, but one of the workers said that they would have in a few hours.”

“I don’t know Beau; I think this time around we should bake the cake ourselves. What do you think about that?”

“Sounds like a good idea to me.”

At times my mom can be a gem, and this was one of those times, bye.

………….

“I’m still watching you, liar!”

“Shut up bushman!”

‘To Be Continued….’