ALL NOVEL Chapter 190
“…….”
“…….”
“……”
After barely being brought back to the convent, hearing the stories from back then, I was left speechless.
Uh… so…
It was me, not the gods, who came to mind in a life-threatening moment, and it was my actions that caused the miracle to happen.
But that miraculous light wasn’t the black and white mix of Baal, nor was it the golden hue of Ariel. The pure white light was crystal clear.
It seems not only my miraculous ability, but also the holy power from the nuns praying behind me had been activated. It’s likely that their faith and admiration for me grew thicker since they’ve spent time close to me.
That was the explanation given to me by Linea and Aurora.
“…….”
I opened my mouth to say something but ended up closing it again.
What was I supposed to say in this situation?
No matter how hard I thought, I couldn’t find an answer.
Well, I mean, yeah.
So… does that mean… I’m akin to Ariel or Baal?
A being that these people call a god, or something like that.
In fact, I had some suspicions ever since Baal pointed out the white light that appeared from my hand last time. That guy left without explaining the most important part to me, but anyway.
I wasn’t sure if my body was made similar to a god’s so that was possible or if the laws of this world allowed someone to wield such power by gaining faith from others, but one thing is for sure, this situation was anything but normal. If I stayed silent now, I would certainly be regarded as a saintess or perhaps a god-like being descended from the heavens.
No, even if I was just called a god, I had nothing to argue. I was the one who blabbed about being the apostle of Ariel and Baal. Also, just like how Linea and Aurora pulled my power using the exact same method as drawing from the gods, it seemed that some of the nuns had awakened that white holy power as well. So if I just kept quiet, I might actually end up getting my own followers, the entire body of theology could be overturned, and who knows, maybe a new sect could sprout up like Baal’s.
But what would happen if I didn’t stay quiet? I felt a voice inside me wondering.
…That’s right. Until now, I’ve been struggling to stay as far away as possible from the many sources of power tightening around my neck, yet I had never succeeded even once.
I had managed to reject the position of Pope by playing dead on the ground, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t have to take that position in the future. The current Pope was an elderly gentleman, and once he steps down, there was nobody else for the position but me.
…Wait a second. If I’m accepted as a god, would people really want to place me in the Pope’s position?
On the contrary… it felt like they might try to elevate me even higher.
A chill crept down my spine.
“First, let me ask you something.”
I looked seriously at Linea and Aurora sitting in front of me and asked.
“To you, what am I?”
“To me, Clara is Clara.”
Aurora answered without any hesitation.
“I completely agree with that. To me, you are you.”
Hearing Linea’s words, I heaved a sigh of relief.
“So that means I’m your friend, right? Going forward?”
“Yes!”
“Indeed.”
It was a rather embarrassing question and answer, but I didn’t feel bad about it. I nodded several times before moving on to the next question.
“So… you don’t see me as a goddess or something like that, right? Like an object of faith or….”
“…….”
“……”
But this time, no answer came. Aurora and Linea both glanced away and looked elsewhere.
“Why! You said we’re friends!”
As I jumped up and shouted, Linea held out her palm.
“Clara, calm down and sit back down. I would like you to listen to our story first and think about it.”
“Yes, I believe the matter of friendship and that of faith in a goddess are separate issues.”
What kind of ridiculous comparison is that between a division commander and an officer.
Of course, I didn’t see myself as being in the position of that commander, nor did I think these two held the position of officers.
“……”
Following Linea’s words, I sat back down.
“When we borrow your power, we were thinking a little differently than praying to the gods. It’s probably because you treated us as genuine friends. Based on the faith you gave us, I regard you as an equal. However, that doesn’t mean we can overlook your true identity.”
“Why not?! Just close your eyes and pretend you don’t know!”
“Close my eyes…”
Line looked bewildered for a moment at my words and then quickly cleared her throat and composed herself.
“Too many people have already seen it.”
“I can just ask the nuns!”
I knew I was being unreasonable, but I had to throw a tantrum, or I wouldn’t have any chance of escape.
“Unfortunately, it wasn’t just the nuns who witnessed that scene. People outside the cathedral saw the white miraculous power descend from the heavens and dissolve the barrier set by the demons.”
But that’s right. There was not even a pinprick of an escape route left for me.
“And at the same time, there were knights who saw the white light rising from Clara’s unconscious body into the sky.”
Aurora added to Linea’s explanation.
“…….”
“And of course, we think of you as a friend, and we won’t draw a line between us as you desire. But other people perceive things differently. If they were to disregard the holy power or miraculous force that comes from you, then what about the beliefs people hold towards the goddess and demon god? Even if the demon god’s case has only recently come to light, what of the faith towards Ariel? Should people discard that faith completely?”
“…….”
Well, let’s say.
It felt like a reversed version of the story I had heard from Baal in my dream.
“Certainly, you could argue that your position differs from the two gods that do not belong to this world. In truth, I used miraculous power and did not collapse, so I think this is something the theologians would find hard to explain. But based on the different results when you utilized the goddess’s power, it does confirm that the mechanisms are different.”
I had heard that the light that appeared from my body rose to the sky, only to come raining down on the cathedral.
…Could it be that my soul is somehow connected to the Temple of Gods? Maybe the miraculous power that emanates from me is slightly dampened because of it… Or perhaps my body was made just right to ease the strain when humans in this world used it.
While a few guesses flashed through my mind, I decided to ask Ariel or Baal later.
“Miracles don’t matter at all.”
“……Really?”
When I said it decisively, Linea tilted her head.
“If so, then what really matters?”
I gulped, glanced at Aurora and Linea, then carefully opened my mouth to ask.
“Earlier, you said that our position in relation to the gods of another world must be different. Then, who do the people in this world believe in the most?”
At my question, Aurora and Linea’s mouths dropped open. But I didn’t have the leisure to ponder the meaning of their reaction.
“Of course it would be Ariel, wouldn’t it? For nearly the last 500 years, she has been regarded as almost the only deity! She’s the goddess who has dedicated herself so deeply to humanity over the past 500 years! If not, then there’s Baal—”
Half-dazed, I rambled on, and just as Linea placed both her hands on my shoulders, looking directly into my eyes, she said,
“Clara, first, calm down and listen carefully.”
“…….”
Is that what it means to shoot a piercing look?
…In fact, I’ve seen this expression before. It was just like the look Linea had when training me after I had declared I was headed to the battlefield.
“Let’s take a deep breath.”
“…….”
I inhaled deeply at Linea’s words and then exhaled with a huff.
“Now then…”
“Wait a moment. One more time.”
As Linea opened her mouth, I hastily cut her off and placed my hand on my chest to take another deep breath.
“……Is that good?”
“……Yes, please go ahead.”
“First of all, we know that the gods exist and can use their power, but we have never directly seen the gods ourselves. Throughout history, there have been beings who claimed to have seen them, but even for them, the gods’ forms were never captured in paintings. Thus, we can only speculate based on the stories passed down through words.”
I nodded. It was certainly true. The fake Ariel created by the Witch of Jealousy was beautiful, but it was different from the real one.
Among all the saints, only a few would have had the chance to witness the gods’ forms.
“That may be why so few people can directly use holy power. There are even fewer who can actually do something with that holy power. The absolute numbers may seem large, but when compared to the overall population, it cannot be considered common. The reason the number of people who have the knowledge of the existence of the gods yet can use holy power is so little is due to a small seed of doubt nestled in the hearts of humans.”
Even in modern society, where the fact that the Earth is round has already been proven thousands of years ago, there are still people who maintain that it’s flat, presenting their nonsensical evidence that nobody agrees with. Faith is the same. Even when the existence of something is known, those who cannot believe it because they haven’t seen it themselves exist.
Even if they know it in their heads, if they feel in their hearts that “this has nothing to do with me,” they cannot use holy power. In that sense, those who can use holy power while bearing malicious intent must be deeply twisted individuals.
The ‘spotless faith’ in the ‘existence’ of the ‘gods’ is the first step to wielding holy power.
“But think about it. One of the gods who has never appeared in front of people until now has come down to the world in human form. And not only did they come down, but they sacrificed themselves and fought for the people without losing a single battle.”
“Uh, that’s…”
I tried to retort but ended up closing my mouth again. Yes, from my standpoint, it was like a cow stepping back and catching a rat, but others might see me as a saintess who knows no defeat.
“And finally, you answered the call of your followers and lent them your power to stand against the demons.”
“Wait a moment!”
Hearing that, I interrupted Linea’s words for a moment.
“But the power coming from me wasn’t that strong! Right? Even with miraculous power, I couldn’t overwhelm the demons while fighting! That was different from the holy power of the demon god or goddess!”
“I’ve thought about that, too.”
This time, Aurora chimed in.
“Isn’t it because the enemy we faced was the ‘demons’? Even if the demons had lost some of their strength, they had absorbed plenty of power from other demons, so it’s only natural they would be different from an ordinary witch.”
“That’s—”
“And!”
Even as I tried to interrupt, Aurora assertively cut me off and continued.
“That sort of argument won’t help us at all. I’m sure the followers who heard that would think this.”
With that, Aurora clasped her hands together and looked upward, speaking dramatically.
“Oh, the goddess has come down from the heavens, having lost so much strength! How glorious is the sacrifice of our goddess, who has descended to pity us!”
“……And once again, what we refer to as the gods’ power, which you claim is ‘stronger than you,’ has undoubtedly sustained us this far, but that doesn’t mean it possesses enough power to totally crush the opponents. People tend to value what they can feel over theoretical concepts.”
“……”
I fell silent for a moment.
“So, that means…”
Not being able to conclude my thoughts, both Aurora and Linea sighed simultaneously.
“Clara, you need to face reality.”
Aurora held one of my hands tightly as she spoke.
“I’m sure people will favor you the most. You’ll be the easiest target to believe in. Perhaps a hundred years from now, it might be different, but in the next few years, it’s reasonable to predict that your white holy power will become widely accepted.”
Linea also added a bit more strength to the hand resting on my shoulder and said.
“……”
All I could do was sit there with my mouth agape, staring blankly ahead.
This is ridiculous, really.
*
I have no thoughts.
Because I don’t want to think at all.
I don’t want to do this.
But… there’s simply no way to avoid it.
Even after becoming an immensely famous figure in this country, I didn’t really feel the sensation of it. I mean, I felt it to a degree, but I didn’t know how it really was in practice. The reactions around me were mostly just acquaintances, and among those acquaintances, there were hardly any who used formal speech with me, no matter how high I climbed.
Except for Rina. She only did it to tease me.
So, I could manage to get by without really noticing my ‘elevated status’ unless I visited government offices or met public officials and ornate figures.
Moreover, as I had just mentioned, I thought to myself that I had ‘realized’ this to some extent. Anyway, the way the nuns looked at me had changed, and the way people at the academy viewed me had definitely changed if they hadn’t chatted with me before.
But the reality was different.
The world was steadily changing as I moved along.
And all that around me.
I knew that the church hated me feeling such things, and they had only been managing to repress it in their own way.
How did I feel this fact, one might ask.
On the day after I woke up, while I questioned why the government or church hadn’t called for me separately, I proceeded to leave the cathedral as usual for school, only to hear a commotion from outside.
It wasn’t an extremely loud noise. It was more like a vibe of people wanting to chatter but for some reason were unable to. It felt like that moment in a university lecture hall during a break.
Anyway, whether the commotion was out there or not, I had to go to school, so I opened the door and—
My eyes met countless people who lined up outside.
The murmuring outside came to an abrupt halt the moment I stepped through the door.
But that made it even scarier. Imagine hundreds, if not thousands, of people staring at me in utter silence. It felt like something out of a horror movie.
“……”
Did I have to say something? Was there some kind of event scheduled here? I pondered seriously, and then someone came rushing beside me.
It was Uncle Paul.
“Saintess, you’ve come out!”
Seeing the uncle who clearly looked flustered, it seemed he at least understood the current situation.
“…May I ask what’s going on right now?”
“Yes, ah, before that, if you wish to attend school, please go that way.”
Uncle Paul pointed toward a space that formed a narrow path among the tightly packed crowd.
It looked just like when a celebrity visits and fans flock around, with security teams setting up barriers at waist height, standing in a row to protect the celebrity.
That’s exactly how it was now. Metal barriers were lined up, and knights proudly stood guard at intervals with shields in hand.
“They’re all people who have come for a pilgrimage. Starting yesterday, they began to gather one by one, and this morning it resulted in this. For now, we’ve set up a checkpoint near the cathedral grounds to manage it as best we can, but just in case…”
“…Oh, I see.”
That’s right, I had heard that this place was designated as a sacred site.
…But, is the administrative process really that fast? This is a place that will remain as a sacred site for as long as human history continues?
“Um, it seems the church has greatly elevated the status of the saintess. The Pope is currently in the hospital.”
“Excuse me?”
Startled, I questioned back as Uncle Paul’s gaze turned distant as if he were gazing at a mountain far away.
“Last weekend, what happened here at the cathedral and with the saintess was reported to the Central Church…”
“……”
Without a word, I rubbed my forehead with my hand.
Why is nothing going according to my assumptions?