Ave Xia Rem Y

~~~

Eastern Port City has not changed.

The first thing Liu Jin sees is the sea, endless blue that stretches into the horizon. The city walls appear next. They are tall and sturdy, made of huge blocks of carved stone. The walls surrounding New Moon Town might as well be made of sand by comparison. Liu Jin cannot see them yet, but guards walk over the walls, always making sure there are no threats in sight.

The scent of the sea reaches Liu Jin’s nose. It is a scent he has grown around his whole life, yet only now that he has been away from the city for so long does Liu Jin recognize it for what it is. By the city gates, there is a line of merchants waiting to enter. The guards check their papers and wares, making sure everything is in order. There are many houses outside the walls, belonging to people who lack the money to afford land inside Eastern Port City.

It is a familiar sight. It is a sight Liu Jin has seen hundreds if not thousands of times already.

It is a soothing sight.

Liu Jin and Xiao Nan have no trouble crossing the gates. The guards recognize them right away, and customary greetings and well-wishes are exchanged.

Just like that, Liu Jin is back in Eastern Port City.

He and Xiao Nan part ways soon after that. Xiao Nan needs to report what happened in New Moon Town, and Liu Jin… he has a lot to think about right now.

Liu Jin knows he should walk straight home. If he were to take to the rooftops, it wouldn’t even take ten minutes. He doesn’t, though. Instead, Liu Jin lets his footsteps take him where they may. There is no destination in his mind. There are just endless streets and an empty blue sky.

Like always, the marketplace is full. It smells of meats, herbs, and spices. Street vendors announce their products. The sizzling sound of food being prepared is accompanied by a multitude of sights that tempt his stomach. The sounds of the many conversations happening around him blend into meaningless noise. Even though there is a multitude of people walking around, the street is wide and more than capable of holding everyone, a stark contrast to New Moon Town.

Liu Jin blends in with the crowd with ease. Here, he is not a big shot from the Xiao Sect. He’s just Liu Jin. He’s just a child who is not yet eleven.

Perhaps he is a little taller than other kids his age. Perhaps his red eyes and fine facial features could be considered exotic, but those things are not enough for him to stand out. Not in a crowd like this.

A few people do recognize him as Liu Jianguo’s son. His father’s patients mostly. They look and point, most likely saying a variation of, “Hey, isn’t that...?” Then someone would answer, “You’re right.” A few even greet him. Still, it is nothing compared to the suffocating attention he received in New Moon Town.

This is normal.

Liu Jin feels a smile tugging at his lips. At this point, even the whispers of his inability to progress in his cultivation wouldn’t bother him. He is just glad to be home once more. He is just happy to be able to walk these streets.

Left, left, and right. Turn, turn, and turn. Liu Jin loses count of how many streets he passes by. He chooses his path at random. It twists and turns without rhyme or reason. All he knows is that the sun is almost setting by the time his footsteps carry him to his doorstep.

The small two-story house is nothing special. There are many like it all over the city, and there are many more that are much better than it. Even his accommodations in New Moon Town were more luxurious.

However, it is the home he grew up in.

Just seeing it is enough to set Liu Jin’s heart at ease in a manner he hadn’t realized he needed until he opened the door and walked in. It’s like a weight he has been dragging around has finally been put down.

His long journey is over, and finally, he has returned.

Liu Jin is home.

There is no one at the clinic. Liu Jin expected to find his father treating at least one patient, but instead, there is a sign at the door saying they are closed.

Did something happen? Perhaps Xiao Nan got here before him and told his father to expect him? Or maybe Old Jiang felt his Qi approaching his city?

Yes. Liu Jin nods. Either of those could have easily happened.

The first floor is just as he had left it. There are beds for the patients to rest and be examined on should it be needed. To the side are all his father’s utensils, neatly arranged and always clean. Three small cabinets store their most commonly used medicines. For muscle pains. For colds. To help a woman through her pregnancy. The usual. Behind a wooden door lies a small room where they store their medicines and herbs.

Slowly, Liu Jin walks up the stairs. His footsteps do not make much noise, yet they echo loudly in his ears.

His father is waiting for him.

He sits at the small table they always lunch around. A kettle of tea lies over a small burner. A patient smile appears on his father’s face as red eyes meet red.

Liu Jianguo has not changed a bit.

He shares the same red eyes and black hair as his son. His facial features are sharp, and like always, he looks like he could stand to gain a few pounds. There’s no fat on his body, and there is not much in the way of muscles either. His father has always been too thin, almost as if he doesn’t eat that well.

“Son,” he says and hearing his voice is enough for Liu Jin’s eyes to start watering. “It is good to have you home. Master went out to gather herbs, but I am sure he’ll be happy to see you when he returns.”

“Father,” Liu Jin chokes as he speaks.

“Father… I have killed.”

Rather than saying anything, his father stands up and walks up to him. Before Liu Jin knows what’s happening, his father’s arms wrap around him, engulfing him in a hug.

That’s all it takes.

The dam breaks, and Liu Jin starts crying like the child he is.

~~~

It takes a while for Liu Jin to stop crying. Through it all, his father never lets go of him. He neither makes judgments nor asks questions. Liu Jianguo is just there for his son.

Once Liu Jin has calmed down, Liu Jianguo guides him to the table. A cup of tea is poured for Liu Jin and placed before him. The child gratefully takes it even as he wipes the tears away with his sleeve. His father still says nothing. Liu Jin takes one sip then another one. The burner has kept the tea hot, and it burns its way down his throat.

Right now, that’s a good thing. The pain helps him focus. It brings his mind back to the room.

“I apologize,” Liu Jin says, staring into his tea. His face is red, both because he has just cried and due to embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to… my outburst was…”

“Son, you have nothing to apologize for,” his father says. “That you even feel the need to apologize makes me wonder about my qualities as a father. Have they been so poor that my son does not feel safe crying in front of me?”

“No!” Liu Jin lifts his gaze up instantly, his eyes wide. The cup comes dangerously close to spilling its contents as he wildly waves his arm. “That’s not it! I just… I’m not used to…”

Losing control.

All his life it has been the same. He has always needed to keep calm. Keep calm while dealing with the patients. Keep calm while dealing with the Xiao Sect. Keep calm while people darkly whisper about his father.

If he cannot control himself, he would only cause trouble for his father. That’s the way it has always been.

Liu Jin has not always succeeded, but that is the standard to which he has always held himself.

“Son,” his father says softly, reassuringly, “I am here for you.”

“I know.”

He always has been.

“Then talk to me.”

Liu Jin does. He tells him everything that happened in New Moon Town. The Lun Clan. The Hu Clan. The Black Bear Bandits. Xiao Dong. Lun Kai. Lun Shu. By the time he has finished speaking, Liu Jin is on his fourth cup of tea. His father is already preparing more.

“I must admit,” His father says, “that I did not expect something like this to happen so soon. That you have gone through such a harrowing ordeal while so young might very well be my most profound failure.”

“Father, that’s not…” Liu Jin stops and cocks his head to the side. “So soon?”

Liu Jianguo gently blows his steaming cup. It is already dark. Soft candlelight illuminates the room.

“Son, as your father, it was my deepest wish for you to go through life without experiencing bloodshed. However, I was never naive enough to think that was possible. Our world is not a kind one. I knew that sooner or later, you would be forced into a situation in which blood was the only answer. When you became Master’s disciple, that knowledge became certain.”

“You’re not… you’re not ashamed of me?”

“Never.”

There is not a hint of doubt in his father’s voice. His answer is firm and resolute, so much that there is no choice but to accept it as undeniable truth.

“Not for one moment. Not for one second. Right now, I am saddened that you had to go through something like that and glad that you were able to come back to me in spite of it.”

“But I killed people! I… am not supposed to kill people. I am supposed to be a doctor like you!”

“Son,” his father starts, and Liu Jin feels something in the room changing. “Do you really think I haven’t killed people before?”

Silence.

The cup almost slips from Liu Jin’s grasp, and for a moment, Liu Jin forgets to breathe.

“Father… what are you saying?”

“You know I was not born crippled. You know I trained under Master before you did. Knowing that, and keeping your experiences in New Moon Town in mind, do you truly think I have never taken a life before?”

“That’s…”

It’s not something Liu Jin has ever thought about. When his father lays it all out like that, it seems exceedingly obvious. His father’s meridians were not always unusable. His father once learned under Old Jiang, and Old Jiang is a man with knowledge many would kill for.

Lun Shu was willing to kill many to gain control over New Moon Town. Old Jiang’s enemies… how much were they willing to do? How many trials did his father go through as a result of that?

Yes, it should have been obvious from the start, yet Liu Jin never once considered such things.

He never considered such things because his father is the kindest person in the entire world. Someone who heals others and never rises to provocation. It would be easier for Heaven and Earth to switch places than for Liu Jin to consider his father killing someone.

Until now.

“Once upon a time, I saw some people as infections to be removed. Nothing more than disease and impurities to be purged. I was without mercy or restraint. I visited evil upon many and told myself I was righteous.”

“Is that why you…?”

Is that why his father crippled himself?

“That is part of it,” his father admits. “The full story is not something you are ready to hear. One day, I will tell you. That I promise.”

Others kids would have protested. Liu Jin just accepts his father's words.

“I understand, Father.”

Liu Jianguo's lips quirk. “You still call me father? Do you not think less of me now that you know what I did?”

Liu Jin shakes his head furiously. “Never, father.”

He is shocked to his core. That much is true. Never once did Liu Jin imagine such words could come from his father’s mouth. However…

“The father I know has always been a kind one. The person you describe is not one this Liu Jin has ever met, and so, I cannot cast judgment upon him.”

“Then why do you expect me to cast harsh judgment upon you, son?” His father replies. “You were placed in a situation where the death of others was your only reasonable option. It would be foolish to place blame on you for the world being that sort of place.”

“That sort of place?”

“Cruel.”

Liu Jin swallows. Not for the first time, he is reminded of Xiao Nan's words.

“Is it really impossible then?” He needs to know. “To live without killing anyone?”

His father does not answer immediately, taking the time to think on Liu Jin's question.

“I will not pretend to know whether such a thing is possible or impossible. However, I will tell you that I have lived my life after I turned my back on violence without hurting a single person. At the very least, twelve years of peace are possible. You are my son, so I trust you can easily surpass me.”

His father's words are like a ray of light, a shred of hope. Liu Jin clutches them and never lets go of them.

“I… thank you, father.”

For a moment, neither speaks. Father and son enjoy the silence.

“So, I hear I am engaged?”

Liu Jianguo chuckles. “Now that, my son, is a story I can fully share with you.”

~~~