Dungeons Are Bad Business

The adventurer lunged forward, his spearpoint aimed straight at Alforde’s helmet. Even though he’d been expecting something similar, the armorsoul was stunned by how fast his opponent moved. Alton became a blur and the air screamed as the weapon passed through the space where Alforde had been standing less than a breath ago.

Taking two steps forward, Alforde brought up his hammer and counterattacked, swinging for all he was worth. His hammer found nothing but air and Alforde’s legs buckled beneath the force of a second blow he hadn’t seen coming.

Falling to his knee, Alforde felt his temper flare and the voice in his helmet chuckled. Good. Now let’s see if you have some fire in you or not.

A flurry of blows rained across his back and pauldrons, but Alforde ignored them. They’d make it easier for him to be launched off stage, but they weren’t a threat on their own.

He could feel his enemy dancing around him, and the [Dungeon Champion] tried to find some quirk in the man’s steps that would tell him where to strike next. The pattern was too random, he couldn’t find one.

Another set of footsteps – these belonging to his clone – moved across the arena and Alforde felt the change in the air as his doppelganger launched a strike of his own. The adventurer parried, but he had to stay still for a second in order to do so, and that was when Alforde attacked.

“Try a taste of this! You’re no match for me!”

Hammy clipped Alton’s leg and the adventurer got sent tumbling. He landed hard on the platform and rolled a few feet but was grinning when he bounced back up with no real harm done.

“That wasn’t bad,” the adventurer said as he whirled his spear into ready position once more. “But I’m ready for your clone now.”

The adventurer and the [Dungeon Champion] traded a few more blows, and as they skidded away from one another, Alton dropped into a crouch. “[Leapstrike]!”

He leapt into the air and his spear started to glow. After floating there for a second, the [Spear Afficionado] crashed back down into the arena like a lightning bolt. Alforde was dumbfounded as he stared at the spear piercing the ground in front of him; the man’s attack had missed! What a blunder! He lifted Hammy above his helmet and swung hard.

Only to find himself flipping through the air a second later. It took his brain a few seconds to catch up with what had just happened. The adventurer had used his weapon like a pole vaulter and delivered a mighty jump kick to the armorsoul’s chest before Alforde’s strike could land. Impressive.

Alforde hit the ground outside the arena hard and bounced back up. His temper was really burning now, and he let loose an aggressive flurry of blows as soon as he landed. Laughing, the adventurer dodged each of them and had plenty of time to sidestep the clumsy thrust aimed at his back by Alforde’s clone.

You’ve lost your composure, the voice said. Use your skills! I can’t help you if you don’t!

“Shut up. I don’t need your help,” Alforde growled as he thrust and swung, growing ever more frustrated as his attacks failed to connect. It was one thing to have an internal monologue – Alforde often talked himself up during his matches – but he was annoyed at the voice in his thoughts. Who cared about composure? Would keeping his cool help his strikes find their marks? Doubtful. Was staying calm the secret to moving fast enough to keep up with this enemy? Probably not. He didn’t have time for that, he just had to keep swinging!

The armorsoul went flying as another well-aimed strike from his foe’s spear found its mark. He hadn’t even seen it coming.

How did this keep happening? He’d practiced and practiced – Piper knew how many hours he’d spent swinging his hammer – but in moments like these, it felt like he’d made exactly zero progress. He still felt every bit as slow and clunky as ever.

He hit the arena and rolled a few feet before he was able to regain control of his momentum. Before he could regain his footing though, the challenger surged forward and flipped Alforde over the edge with another sweeping blow.

When Alforde bounced back up onto the platform, he was like a popped balloon. All the fight had left him and he let his helmet slide forward. What was even the point of fighting back? He was no match for this adventurer, and he knew it.

So that’s all you’ve got then? The voice in his head whispered. It was filled with contempt and loathing. You fall behind a little bit and then you just give up, huh? I’m not terribly surprised but I’m disappointed all the same. You have a long way to go.

Alforde didn’t really have time to respond, as his foe was charging him once again.

“[Give No Ground]!” Alforde cried, his instincts taking over. The golden light enveloped his armor as he squatted and absorbed the entirety of the blow.

Finally! That’s better. The voice had a note of triumph in it, now. Let me see…[Give No Quarter]!

Behind the adventurer, Alforde saw his clone – Shadowforde? – start glowing as well. However, instead of gold, the aura around the armorsoul’s doppelganger was crimson red and when he ran towards Alton, his every step was a merciless drumbeat that sent fear shivering through Alforde’s entire consciousness.

The [Spear Afficionado] blanched for the first time, losing his cocky smile. His eyes grew widened and he cried out as Shadowforde’s hammer slammed into his back and sent him flying.

Alforde only had a moment, but that was all he needed. Once again, his instincts took over and he aimed for the spot where his enemy’s body would be in a few seconds.

“[Unstoppable Charge]!”

The [Dungeon Champion] slid across the platform at a speed he could have never hoped to run and his pauldron caught the adventurer’s body and sent him over the edge. Alforde let out a whoop. He’d scored his first point!

Almost half the time for the fight had expired, but Alforde felt his first flickers of hope. It would be an uphill climb, but he could make this comeback.

[Might +1 – Deferred due to [Fair Fight]]

I like that skill. I think I have an idea for if this guy tries that [Leapstrike] attack again.

Vee jumped up out of his chair and pumped his fist in the air. “Nice hit!” he yelled, not caring about the fact that it was just him, Reginald, and Dheart inside the office. In fact, it was probably better that nobody else was around.

“It’s interesting,” Reginald said. “I was expecting his Heart of a Champion to kick in, but it’s still inactive. I guess his Reflection is enough for now.”

“But if it had access to skills like that one it just used, why has it been holding back until now?”

“It wasn’t holding back. It didn’t have the skill until Alforde used [Give No Ground]. Reflections don’t possess any skills of their own. All they can do is wait for the person they’re copying to use a skill and then they do their best to imitate it. Though as you saw, it’s not a perfect process.”

“That’s still pretty useful,” Vee said. “It was an offensive ability instead of a defensive one.”

Vee looked down and watched as the adventurer tried the same floating strike that he’d found success with earlier, but once again Alforde’s clone had the answer. It leapt into the air right away and grabbed the [Spear Afficionado] around the waist. They both crashed to the ground and Alforde was waiting once again with a big swing of his hammer that evened the fight’s score.

Now they were starting to get into a rhythm. Every time the adventurer tried to build momentum for one of his powerful attacks, Alforde or his clone was ready for it. Working as a team, they harried him with strikes – or in the clone’s case, grapples – and negated the man’s speed advantage.

By the end of the fight, an outside spectator would have been forgiven for thinking that the dungeon was some sort of underground belltower for all the ringing. The twin hammers found their marks again and again, and with less than twenty seconds remaining of the allotted eight minutes, Alforde emerged victorious. His Reflection disappeared as he bid farewell to the adventurer, who seemed to be a bit cross about losing.

Vee let out a sigh of relief and a celebratory curse. “That was pretty close,” he said as he wiped his bangs out of his eyes. He frowned at how long his hair was getting. When was the last time he’d gotten a haircut? Too long. As soon as he had some free time, he’d go find a [Stylist]. There was bound to be a bunch in the city, somewhere. Maybe he could ask Juniper. She’d probably know.

Next to him, Reginald was making a soft puttering sound. It grew louder and louder until Vee realized that it was laughter and when he looked over at the hat, he saw that Reginald’s felty mouth was split wide open in a grin.

“I won!” the spirit said. “I told you, boss. My time has come! You should know better than to tempt fate! The adventurer only took two stocks! Now you’ve gotta take me to the casino.”

Well wasn’t that something? Vee sighed. “Fine. Now, where exactly is this casino? And whose money are you going to gamble with? It’s not like we’re drowning in fleurs over here, so I can’t loan you any.”

“It’s just outside of town,” Reginald said. “No more than an hour or so by carriage. And you don’t need to worry about money. I’ve got my own little arrangement over there.”

Vee folded his arms across his chest.

[Devious Mind +1]

[You can now use Get The Picture!]

“And does this little arrangement involve me being harassed about paying off your debts or anything? I’m really not in the mood to get shaken down again.”

“No, no, not at all.”

When Reginald saw Vee’s frown, he wiggled his brim. “My goodness, relax! It’s like you think I’m a criminal or something. It’s not a big deal. I just want to play a couple games of Horses, that’s all. A few hours gambling. Is that too much to ask?”

“What if I say yes? I’m not going to lie; I’m tempted to say yes.”

“Then I say too bad, those were the terms of our bet and you lost. We can go tomorrow night. Templesday is when the casino runs all their best games. Ooh, I can hear the sweet sound of gambling already. The clink of chips, the swish of cards, the fake laughter of men and women hoping to find an easy mark. There’s nothing like it. Nothing at all.”

Vee turned his attention back to the dungeon, where the second adventurer was getting ready to enter.

“We’ll talk about it later,” he said. “For now, it’s back to work. We’ve got twenty-four more of those for today.”

Reginald’s yellow spirit arm snapped up in an overwrought salute. “As you say, boss.”

Then, in a quiet voice, Reginald started singing to himself. “Stack the deck and deal the cards, my lovely Lady Luck. If you’re sweet to me then I’ll be sweet to you when we go off to—Welcome to Crestheart, Adventurer. Enter if you DARE!”

The day’s runs came to a close. Ultimately, only two other adventurers made it to Alforde. One took a single stock before being overwhelmed by the aggression of the armorsoul and his Reflection. The other, an elkin [Vicegrip] came close a number of times, but failed to score any points.

As far as Vee was concerned, it’d been quite a lucrative day. From just the runs themselves they’d pocketed almost twelve hundred silver fleurs after taxes, minor reward costs, and other general dungeon expenses, but more importantly, they’d gotten eight shards of chaos. The extra one percent drop chance that the dungeon had from leveling up was really paying off. Well, that and the slimes. Maybe that next floor wasn’t quite as far away as Vee had feared.

Though, if he was being honest, he was probably going to use these shards of chaos to replenish his minion supplies and maybe even invest into a few tier-two monsters. He’d had his eye on some of the union’s skeleton offerings. He’d never had much interest in bone creatures – he’d decided against pursuing a minor in [Bone Architecture] during his time as a student, despite pressures from the Dean of Necromancy and Undead Studies – but he couldn’t deny that they were a good value. Skeletons were relatively cheap, fit Crestheart’s theme, and could be customized into one of three common specialties: Knight, Archer, and Mage. With a bit of ectoplasm, he could really make some unique stuff. Plus, skeletons had an eight percent chance of dropping shards of chaos when defeated. That was low for a tier-two minion, but still much better than what he was working with now.

However, as good as those things were, the best part about skeletons was that they all had an innate [Lesser Rebuild] skill. What that meant was that every time a skeleton was destroyed, it had a fifteen percent chance of rebuilding itself once the run was complete. That was basically a discount on the purchase price!

He tempered his enthusiasm. It was easy to get caught up in the spirit of spending. Improvements were good, but like anything else, there was a sweet spot, and it was easy to overdo it. No matter what, he had to stay focused on repaying Sacre on time.

Reaching down, Vee activated the magnifying crystal that led to Alforde’s arena. “Hey, on your way up, will you collect the fleurs from the shopkeepers?”

“Sure thing, Vee.”

While he waited for the armorsoul to come back up to the office, Vee scribbled himself a note to ask Juniper for way more potions from now on. He’d totally underestimated their popularity; they’d been sold out since the seventh adventurer of the day. They needed twenty or thirty per shopkeeper. Even if he ended up having to pay some portion of the materials cost, the margin on the sales was high enough that it was well worth doing.

After updating Cecil’s sheets, Vee directed Alforde to put the fleurs and the shards of chaos into the dungeon’s vault. With the day now done, the [Dungeon Master] slowly made his way down the stairs. Sunset was close, but there was a bit of light left in the sky, and Vee wanted to go talk to his newest neighbor about his increased potion request.

The [Herbalist] wasn’t in her shop and there was a frilly sign that said CLOSED hanging from the door, but Vee left a note and was confident that she’d see it the next morning. The orchestra hadn’t yet reported any instances of fiend attacks during the night and he didn’t think that today would be any exception.

A voice behind him made him jump. Alforde’s armor groaned as he brought Hammy up into a ready position.

“Ah-ha! I’ve finally found you!”

Vee turned around and saw a…tree?…person? staring at him. The figure was short and squat, made of black wood with stars of blue bark on its arms and legs. It had big amber eyes that didn’t blink, and a wily mouth that reminded him of Reginald that also seemed fixed in place. Whatever it was, it looked the worse for wear, with a series of cracks and chips along its face and body.

“Um, who are you?” Vee asked.

“I’m Kai Ginficus, and I have a message for you, Mister Vales. You are Mister Vales, right? This is your dungeon?”

Satisfied that the treant wasn’t some sort of assailant intent on hurting his friend, Alforde relaxed and let Hammy rest on the ground once more.

“That’s me. What sort of message do you have?”

There was a creak as a hatch atop the treant’s head opened up, and Vee watched with alarm as a second, smaller treant hopped up and out. His body was greenish-brown, and he had a yellow flower blossom on one shoulder. Clutched in his grasp was a thick blue leaf and Vee could see something sparkling on it.

“It’s from the [Oracle] of my grove. I’ve been traveling for days, trying to get it to you. When you’re finished, I’m to take your reply back to my people.”

Vee took the leaf and looked at it. The message was written in some kind of sap, but he could still make out the letters. It looked fairly long though, so he turned to the treant and smiled.

“We were going to go and get a bite to eat. Would you like to join us?”

The treant clapped his miniscule hands together, which caused the leaves attached to his top branches to quiver and shake. “And see more of this glorious city? I’d love to!”

And thus, Vee, Reginald, Alforde, and Kai left Westown and headed to the Grinning Pig. It was as good a place to talk business as any.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales:

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 21

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 10

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 2

Might: 8

Wit: 28

Faith: 17

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 9

Plotting: 12

Charisma: 4

Devious Mind: 14 (+1)

Leadership: 10

Guts: 4

Intimidating Presence: 5

Citizenship: 5

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 17

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 10

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 10

Additional Class: Clunker (Vee Vales), Level 3

Might: 30 (+1)

Wit: 10

Faith: 24

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 6

Endurance: 11 (+1)

Intimidating Presence: 8

Heart of a Champion: 2

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 3

Vigilance: 3

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 34

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 7

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 3 (+1)

Might: 1

Wit: 27

Faith: 3

Ambition: 24 (+1)

Greed: 20 (+2)

Deceptiveness: 31

E$@$: $%

[-------------------------]

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 2