Dungeons Are Bad Business

Dheart’s voice filled the office.

“You have selected the Portal Gates perk, Master. Are you sure that this is the one that you would like?”

Vee nodded and confirmed his selection, and Dheart rumbled as it connected to the union and made the [Dungeon Master]’s choice a matter of record.

“Excellent,” the dungeon heart said. “Your portals will be delivered in five to seven days, subject to road conditions. Would you like to retain your preference for it to be delivered here at the dungeon instead of at the boarding house?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Reginald gave Vee a grin and wiggled his brim.

“So, Boss, tell me about this plan you have for the skeletons along with the portals. What kind of fight are you going to make with them?”

“It’s based on an old book I read. I don’t remember the name anymore, but it was about a young [Hero] who was trying to collect six sacred medallions so that he could unlock the power of the [Sages] to defeat a [Dark Lord]. In one temple, filled with trees and Green Spirit, the [Hero] fought what he thought was the [Dark Lord], only for it to be revealed as a clone as he struck the final blow.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t tell me anything about the fight. What’s that got to do with the portals?”

Vee grinned. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

With the perk selected, the [Dungeon Master] made his way down to the dungeon to check in on Do and make sure that all the packs of minions were installed properly. The stocky fiend and the rest of the [Dungeon Maintainers] didn’t technically need sleep, but they had a tendency to start making small errors once they’d been working for prolonged periods of time without pause, so Vee wanted to make sure that wasn’t happening here.

Thankfully, Vee was pleased to see that every pack was arranged exactly as he wanted. If he ended up needing to make changes to accommodate [Boost Drops], he could always do so with [Walking Walls] or some of the buttons on his console. He headed down to the second floor, where the new room for the Mr. Chills fight had been built and took a long look around. Crystal-powered traps lined the walls and floor, and the two halves of the ectoplasm key that adventurers would need to deactivate the big ghost were locked in chests and surrounded by even more.

Vee also checked the illusory walls, grooves in the floor, and vents that would let the minor frost elementals into the room when he wanted to reveal them. A few quick tests showed everything to be in working order, and the young man felt excitement rising in his chest. The mini boss fight was going to be his most hands on dungeon experience yet, and he was looking forward to it.

Returning to the office – and cursing the stairs along the way – Vee sat down at his console and waited for the day’s runs to begin. He looked down at the application on the top of his pile and smiled.

It was Alisanne Henret, because of course it was. The sixteen year old [Fighter] with two clubs had become a Crestheart staple, challenging the dungeon every day even when it hadn’t had minions, and joining in the adventurer’s sparring group afterwards. Her hard work had paid dividends; she’d gone from level 10 to level 13, gained a handful of new skills, and had earned an aspirational class – [Dauntless Delver] – as well. During her runs, she was aggressive and assertive, so Vee didn’t hesitate to activate [Boost Drops] as she walked to the door. He’d get full value for the charge without a doubt.

Honestly, that knowledge was an unexpected benefit of having such regular challengers; he’d gotten a much better idea of who liked to destroy minions and who liked to skip them, which meant that his efficiency with [Boost Drops] had gotten much better. Every time he used the skill, he got nearly full value from it, which meant that Crestheart’s shards of chaos supply would grow steadily. It would be a while before they had enough for another floor of the dungeon, but they would make regular progress toward that goal.

So long as they had minions, that was.

“You know, I have a feeling that it’s going to be a good day,” Vee said. He’d barely felt the drain from using the skill, and was looking forward to continuing his attempt to add additional casts later that afternoon.

Reginald smirked, his felty mouth turning up at the corners as he reached for his magnifying crystal with his arms of yellow energy.

“I think so too, Boss. Let’s get to it, eh? Welcome to Crestheart, Adventurer! Enter if you dare!”

Vee pressed the big black button on his console, and heard the front door’s steady groan as it slid open.

Alisanne leapt through the door with her clubs raised as soon as she could fit through the gap. A Marked slime flew through the air toward her, and she batted it away with her left weapon while blocking a hex thrown her way by a skeleton mage with her right. The spell made her arm tingle, but she was quick to shake it off.

She chased down the slime and thrust her club into it. Finding the core with a single blow was a skill she hadn’t yet mastered, but she wiggled her club around until she found it and then drove her other weapon through the monster’s gooey exterior, feeling the satisfying snap as the core broke into pieces. Alisanne waded through the puddle of remains and reached down to grab the small grayish-purple shard of chaos it left behind. A hex hit her in the side and she winced, sucking in a sharp breath, but [Push Through The Pain] procced and she stood back up.

Pointing her clubs at the skeleton mage, Alisanne bared her teeth and squared her shoulders. “Is that all you got? You’re not going to stop me with those little spells!”

She shivered as the words left her mouth, and felt the shape of her aspirational class grow more tangible inside her soul’s mirror. More progress, yay!

She wasn’t entirely sure what the specific requirements to unlock [Dauntless Delver] for real were, but she’d heard more than once that “fake it until you make it” was a good way of getting through aspirational class purgatory. Clenching her jaw, the [Fighter] waded her way through each room on the first floor, [Smashing] every minion she came across into pieces, and picking up another nine shards of chaos.

In a big oval room with burning blue torches, a trio of ghosts surrounded her. They grabbed her with their chilly claws, and Alisanne swept them all away with a sequence of short, fast strikes that she’d learned from Gerard, another one of the [Fighters] she’d been sparring with each day.

[Congratulations, you are now a Level 14 Fighter!]

[Might +1]

[Endurance +1]

[You can now use Furious Strikes!]

Alisanne grinned and wiped away the sweat that ran down the back of her neck. She hurried down to the dungeon’s second floor and found herself in front of a big door marked with a hand-painted skull.

”Prepare yourself,” the [Announcer]’s voice above her called. “For you enter the lair of a mighty foe. Are you strong enough to conquer it?”

As she stood there, Alisanne felt the effects of the dungeon’s auras ramping up enough to start affecting her senses. Her heartbeat quickened and her breathing grew shallow, and it took a conscious effort for the [Fighter] to steady herself. I’ll defeat whatever is in there, she told herself, and briefly holstered her clubs before reaching up and pushing the door open with both hands. It was heavy, so the adventurer had to put all her strength into the effort, but eventually the door creaked open and Alisanne redrew her weapons before walking into a pitch black room.

It was freezing cold inside, and the [Fighter] shivered. Behind her, the door slammed shut and a series of blue runes lit up around the floor. She could see the dim outlines of the wall, and another large door on the far side of the room. When she took a step forward, the ground beneath her shifted, and twin pillars of hissing ice erupted from small notches around in all directions. Two grew and spread until they covered the doors, and Alisanne readied her clubs. There’d be no leaving the room until she won or gave up.

A swinging noise above her head got her attention, and the [Fighter] saw a massive shape speeding toward the ground. It landed hard, and looked at her with eyes that glowed like blue hellfire. In the poor light, Alisanne could only see that it looked like a snowman wearing a top hat, and barely had time to react as it started throwing snowballs at her. She jumped to the right as one whistled past and winced when it shattered against one of the pillars. Apparently, snowballs wasn’t the correct term. These were solid ice balls, which promised plenty of pain if they found their mark.

Alisanne dove behind a pillar and took a deep breath as another salvo of projectiles shattered against it. How was she going to beat this thing? Approaching would be difficult, unless she could leapfrog her way from pillar to pillar and get close enough to strike a blow. Even then, though, she didn’t know what the creature’s weakness was. Stay calm, cool and collected, she thought. Dungeons are designed to be beaten, so there has to be something around here I can use.

The [Fighter] looked around and saw a funny looking rune on the floor to her right. It was a different shade of blue than the rest, and key-shaped, so Alisanne reasoned that was where she had to go. According to some of the other adventurers, Crestheart was pretty good in terms of visual clarity for clues.

She made a break for it, only to have her path blocked by a [Cage of Ice] that fell from the ceiling. A vent opened beneath her feet and started spraying frosty air upwards, and Alisanne knew from experience that if she stayed put her boots would be frozen in place. She had to break out as fast as possible.

“[Furious Strikes]!”

Rage filled her as the skill activated, and her weapons felt light as feathers as they struck the bars. Despite putting all her strength into it, each one was so thick that it took three blows or more to break, but eventually Alisanne freed herself.

Naturally, she immediately discovered that the snowman had slid across the room and was now right in front of her. This close she could see that it wore some sort of harness with a keyhole around its torso, but that was all she noticed before its heavy arms swung back and chucked another pair of iceballs right at her.

She didn’t have time to dodge, and the projectiles hurt something fierce when they struck her in the chest and stomach. Crying out as she went flying, Alisanne stayed on the ground for a moment and let the pain wash over her. She looked up at the snowman, which was slowly spinning to face her once more. Its eyes flashed, and it’s arms pulled back for another throw. Snarling, Alisanne leapt back to her feet and hugged one arm to her stomach as she ran to the safety of the nearest pillar.

The snowman’s arms snapped forward, and even more ice balls filled the air. Clunking sounds came from the walls around her as panels opened up, and small cubes tumbled out of the gaps. What was this, now? She couldn’t see the new threat very well in the gloom, but whatever they were, they slid around on the floor. The air was filled with tiny pings as they spat little projectiles in all directions, and Alisanne found to her dismay that they were sharp little things when one hit her in the leg.

Struggling to keep her balance, Alisanne fought her way toward the second odd rune in the room, swinging her clubs with reckless abandon and shattering the little minions into tiny pieces along the way. The mini boss continued harassing her with projectiles, and two more found their mark on the [Fighter]’s shoulder and back. She’d definitely have bruises tomorrow.

However, she wasn’t going to let any of that stop her, and she dodged a series of other traps – [Icicle Spikes], [Freeze Grips], and [Snowflake Sawblades] – until she stood in front of a small chest made of ectoplasm. She’d come to recognize the slick, slightly squishy feeling of the material, and she readied her club as she opened the chest. Better safe than sorry.

It wasn’t a mimic or trapped in any way though, and Alisanne breathed a sigh of relief. There was a key inside the box, or at least, half of one, and the adventurer didn’t know whether or not she should laugh or cry as she pondered the challenge in getting the other half.

The snowman jetted around the room, and another noise got Alisanne’s attention.

Like a large dog, the wall nearest her was growling ominously. Ducking beneath another ice ball intended for her face, the adventurer grabbed the key half and jumped aside just as a big square ghost rocketed past. If she’d stayed in place, she would have been run over, and that would have sucked.

“OORUH,” this new ghost said as it slammed into the far wall. Then, with almost comical slowness, it started sliding back in the direction it’d come from, vanishing into the wall as if it’d never been there.

Alisanne grinned as she ducked beneath another projectile. “You’re not going to beat me!” she cried as she charged across the room.

The ghost didn’t answer. Which was probably for the best, all things considered.

Vee frowned and flicked a switch on his control panel. His model of the room’s tiles lit up, and he pressed each one in the line he thought the adventurer was going to take as she ran across the room. Through his crystal, he saw the floor rapidly freeze over, and smirked when Alisanne lost her balance and tumbled. Her fall bought Mr. Chills another hit, but the girl was resilient and got up once again. Limping, she somehow managed to retrieve the other half of the key and put them both together. Now all she had left to do was figure out how to get it into the keyhole on Mr. Chills’ chest.

He was genuinely impressed by her moxie as she charged the ghost, and wondered if he should dial back the pressure a little bit as another snowball sent her flying once again. He didn’t really want Alisanne to give up here.

After all, there were three more Marked minions on the lower floors that he wanted her to destroy.

He was distracted from his thinking by a knock at the office door, and the [Dungeon Master] called out to ask who it was.

A voice he hadn’t heard in years answered him, though Vee still recognized the gravelly tone almost instantly.

“Mr. Vales? Are you in there? It’s Artem Rortenferry.”

Vee hurried to his feet and ran to open the door. “Professor? What are you – wait, did you get my letter?”

The [Professor] was standing outside, dressed in a well-worn gray suit and wearing a thick set of spectacles. He was older and more wrinkled than Vee remembered, but there was no mistaking his sharp features and commanding presence. A tall spirit dressed in an indigo gown – Du…Duvian, if Vee’s memory was right – stood behind him, but they weren’t the only ones out in the hall.

Vee’s cheeks flushed.

Next to the professor, carrying a strange bow, was Luna. She looked tired and there was a bandage around her upper arm, but she returned his smile and gave him a little wave when their eyes met.

Holly was there too, but Vee barely noticed the [Snowmancer]. She muttered something unflattering and put her hands on her hips as she shifted her weight back and forth..

Rortenferry looked at Vee and Luna for a moment, then coughed pointedly.

“If you don’t mind, Mister Vales, may we come in?”

Vee nodded, but when he opened his mouth to say yes, he found that his voice was hiding somewhere he couldn’t find it.

Reginald piped up from inside.

“Be quick about it, eh? The workday just started; you know? We’re busy in here! Boss, she got the other half of the key! If you want to use the [Snow Cyclone], you’re going to have to be quick about it.”

Rortenferry raised an eyebrow as he took a step inside.

“A [Core Spirit] bound to a top hat? Most interesting, Mister Vales. I believe we’ll have loads to talk about.”

Holly gave Vee a friendly jab to the shoulder as she walked by.

“Make sure you ask her how she’s doing,” the blue haired Witch said quietly. “And I need to talk to you later. Privately, okay?”

Well, if that wasn’t ominous.

Vee nodded, and followed the group back into the office.

Main Character Sheets (UNCHANGED FROM LAST CHAPTER)

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 29

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 17

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 12

Wit: 32

Faith: 21

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 13

Plotting: 18

Charisma: 12

Devious Mind: 21

Leadership: 16

Guts: 12

Intimidating Presence: 9

Citizenship: 20

Public Relations: 6

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 21

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 12

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 14

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 3

Might: 38

Wit: 12

Faith: 25

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Endurance: 18

Intimidating Presence: 13

Heart of a Champion: 8

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 6

Vanity: 4

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 39

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 14

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 7

Might: 1

Wit: 32

Faith: 11

Ambition: 26

Greed: 22

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 35

$#&*!@!!

Loyalty: 45

Patience: 10

[#&%%%@%!#@__--#%]

%^(@#!! @#$@!@#

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 7