Dungeons Are Bad Business

Inside, Artem gestured to Luna and Holly. “I hope you don’t mind that I asked Misses Redhenny and Sacre to accompany me here today. Since being detained by the bandits, I’ve gotten a bit skittish about going around by myself. These two young women have been a great help in that regard.”

Vee smiled sheepishly. “It’s fine, there’s plenty of room in here. I’d offer you all seats, actually, but I’m afraid we don’t have any other chairs in here,” he said. “Sorry about that.”

Rortenferry tutted and waved his hand. “Such a shortcoming is easily remedied. [Shape Ectoplasm]!”

The [Professor] pinched his thumb and index finger together, and pulled more ectoplasm out of the air in a few seconds than Vee could have in fifteen minutes. The energy flowed around his fingers as the wizened man wove ribbons of red, blue, and green energy into chairs with almost contemptuous ease. Vee marveled at the way his old teacher’s arms swept back and forth in the air from one direction to the other without stopping so that not a bit of energy or effort was wasted.

He wondered if he could do that, and resolved to give it a try as soon as there wasn’t anyone else around to watch him fail.

In barely any time at all, six perfect chairs rested on the ground around the office, and Rortenferry dusted off his hands. He smiled at the awed expression on Vee’s face.

“When you’ve made as many of those as I have, you’ll find the work goes quickly,” he said kindly. “In time, I’m sure you’ll be just as quick.”

Reginald snorted. “Showoff.”

Vee’s [Majodomo] turned back to his magnifying crystal and put on his [Announcer] voice once more. “Congratulations, Adventurer! You have bested Mr. Chills! Take a few moments to collect yourself, and then [Keep Going] deeper into the dungeon! There are other challengers waiting, you know!”

Rortenferry walked over and took a long look at Reginald. The old man’s eyes shimmered, as if covered by ectoplasmic lenses, and the hair on the back of Vee’s neck went up at the strength of the ethereal current swirling around his former teacher.

It’d been a long time since he’d last been around other [Ghost Maestros], and Vee found the sensation to be a strange combination of camaraderie and competitiveness.

“If you’ll excuse me for just a moment,” Vee said as he sat back down and pulled himself to his console. “There are a few matters I still have to attend to for this run.”

He flicked a series of switches, and turned two or three knobs to activate the next set of traps, watching Alisanne pummel a skeleton knight to pieces with her clubs. The minion’s skull landed face up and there was a telltale gleam in its eyes that indicated [Lesser Rebuild] had procced. Vee jotted down a note with its location so that Do could collect the skeleton after the run for reassembly, and pulled a lever that dropped a series of domino walls in the next hallway so that the adventurer had to sprint to the next door.

“Of course, of course, take your time,” Rortenferry said as he continued staring at Reginald. “Spirit, how did you come to be sealed in this hat? I can see power swirling around you, but it’s constrained in a peculiar way. An [Enchanter]’s work, perhaps?”

“That’s a long, personal story,” Reginald said stiffly. “And my name is Reginald. See that you remember it, old man, if you’re going to be asking me questions.”

Duvian, the indigo-clad spirit, hissed and opened her mouth to protest the hat’s snippymanner, but Rortenferry held up a hand and she stayed silent. “My apologies, Reginald. My curiosity has been known to get the better of me. Would you mind telling me your story? Have you been in this form for very long? Is your memory and personality complete, or do you have gaps in your recollections? Sealed spirits are something of a rarity, these days.”

Reginald grunted and held up one of his yellow hands. “We can talk later, if I end up feeling like it,” he said. Rortenferry nodded and returned to his seat, where he took out a well-used notebook and began to scribble away.

Down in the dungeon, Alisanne was making steady progress. Though she looked tired and had a handful of wounds from her fight against Mr. Chills, she pressed on with dogged determination and made it down through the third floor without issue. There, she leapt and climbed across all the challenges Vee threw at her, familiar with the [Dungeon Master]’s favorite tactics and tendencies for manipulating the dungeon obstacles.

When she reached Alforde’s arena, Vee warned his friend of her impending approach and pushed himself away from the console.

“We’ve got some time to talk now,” he said. “The adventurer has to battle Alforde, and then Do and the rest of the [Dungeon Maintainers] will need a few minutes to reset the dungeon before the next run.”

Holly grinned and leaned forward. “That actually looks kinda fun,” she said, pointing to the crystal image of Alisanne ducking beneath a swing of Alforde’s hammer. “You guys think I could give it a shot sometime?”

“Do you have an adventuring license and seventy silver fleurs?” Reginald asked. “If so, sure. Otherwise, no shot”

Holly looked at Vee, who shrugged.

The [Snowmancer] stuck out her tongue and slouched back in her chair. “You guys aren’t any fun,” she mumbled.

Rortenferry put down his pen. “Do? [Dungeon Maintainers]? You have other employees, Mister Vales? I thought this was a much smaller operation than it appears to be. However, I simply must know. Where are your fiends?”

“Oh, those are the fiends,” Vee answered. “They’re members of my orchestra that I used [Bequeath Class] on so that they could help keep Crestheart running optimally. We’d be in a heap of trouble without them.”

The other [Ghost Maestro]’s eyes widened. “You managed to successfully use [Bequeath Class] on fiends? As in, more than one? And it stuck?”

Vee shrugged. “Yes…? Is there something wrong with that?”

“Technically, no, but practically I’m not sure,” Rortenferry said slowly as he stroked his chin. He looked like he was deep in thought. “I guess I should say that it’s mostly just surprising. I would not expect fiends to able of accepting a bequeathed class, let alone keeping it for a prolonged period of time. Would you object to me examining them later?”

“Of course not,” Vee said. “Getting your opinion was the whole reason I wrote you that letter in the first place! I also have a collection of notes about them that I’ve been keeping, and you’re welcome to peruse them as well, if you’d like.”

“Excellent,” Rortenferry said. “I’m sure they’ll be immensely helpful as I investigate and look for potential causes of this intriguing phenomenon.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a beep on Vee’s console, which indicated that Crestheart was ready for the day’s next run. With a rueful smile, Vee returned to his work as Reginald greeted the adventurer and the process started all over again. Once again, Vee recognized the adventurer. His name was Alex Bobrowsk, a level 11 [Spearman] with a tendency of fleeing instead of fighting.

As such, Vee didn’t bother using a charge of [Boost Drops], and found himself not having much to do –and irritated about it – as the man ran from almost every single minion he came across. He was slippery, too, and few of the traps were successful at slowing him down.

At some point, Vee knew that he’d need to add more static threats to Crestheart – like his still-experimental elemental cannons – to use against adventurers who chose not to engage with the dungeon’s minions. Traps alone didn’t cut it.

Thankfully, such pacifistic runners weren’t terribly common, as most adventurers wanted to defeat as many minions as possible, but it was still annoying when one cropped up.

Vee spent the rest of the day talking to Rortenferry and the girls between runs. His old teacher was keenly interested in the fiends and the city, asking questions about ectoplasmic density, purity, and other technical details that Vee frankly didn’t know.

He dimly remembered pages upon pages dedicated to the subjects in his textbooks, but other than a few random attributes – ectoplasmic density is inversely proportional to spiritual drag, for example – he couldn’t recall anything else about them. He certainly hadn’t brought his ectoplasometer with him to Oar’s Crest and taken samples of the energy through all fourteen tests necessary for proper classification. Heck, the [Ghost Maestro] didn’t even own an ectoplasometer anymore, having sold it right after graduation and finding no need for it since.

When he mentioned this to Rortenferry, the academic wrinkled his nose and jotted something down in his notebook. Vee snuck a look during the next break, and though he couldn’t make out everything written on the page, he was sure that he saw the words Remains undisciplined and unserious about proper techniques.

Vee felt something that reminded him of being punched in the stomach.

[You are now a Ghost Maestro, Level 28!]

[Wit -1]

Well, that sucked, but Vee didn’t let it bother him overmuch. There might have been a time where he really cared about such a setback, but he was riding high from making Luna laugh throughout the afternoon. Though it didn’t come with any associated stats or levels, he figured he was coming out ahead.

Back in the dungeon, most of the adventurers who reached Mr. Chills were losing in short order, though a few managed to succeed like Alisanne, by refusing to give up in the face of the ghost’s pressure.

A couple daring souls even managed to defeat the ghost snowman in direct combat by decapitating it, sending the minion’s head and top hat skittering across the floor. Vee made a mental note to give it a better piece of armor the next day; it was kind of cool to see the ghost get beaten, but he didn’t want to risk it breaking any more than he had to.

He also considered giving the next model a deactivation switch just beneath its hat or something, so that adventurers could still prove their martial mettle without having a chance of destroying the ghost for good.

When the last run finally came to a close, Vee stood up and stretched. He fought back a yawn, only to see that Holly and Luna had both fallen asleep at some point, their heads resting on the table in the center of the room.

Vee winced as his skull ached ever so slightly; a result of his efforts to get another charge of [Boost Drops]. Fortunately, the pain was familiar and easily managed, but Vee was looking forward to the rest of the evening off.

Rortenferry had long since put down his notebook, and was passing the time by playing with a small corgi-shaped ghost made out of…whiskey? Vee strained his eyes, positive that he saw something alcoholic in the ghost’s nature, but not entirely sure of what it was. His ability to identify ghosts and spirits was not as good as it should have been.

His professor looked up and tapped the tiny ghost on the nose. It obediently stopped moving, its tail wagging back and forth.

“Are you finished for the day, then, Mister Vales?”

“Alforde is going to bring up the money and we’re going to count it, but after that, yes, we’re done here for the day. And if it’s all the same to you, would you mind calling me Vee? Mister Vales makes me feel a little bit like I’ve been called to your office to talk about a bad grade on an essay, and it’s making me uncomfortable.”

“Of course, of course, Mister…Vee. You know, this dungeon business is quite interesting. I’ve never paid much attention to Dungeon Sports, but seeing all the moving parts is an impressive endeavor.”

“Uh, thanks,” Vee said.

The old man smiled and there was a twinkle in his eyes. “Now, tell me, what does running this place have to do with that Expectation coiled around your shoulders?”

Vee stiffened as the spirit wrapped itself tighter around his body. “I’m going to try and make things better here with Crestheart, and – wait, you can see it?”

His [Professor] sniffed. “I wouldn’t be much of a [Ghost Maestro] if I could not, would I? That’s an intriguing purpose. Hmm, now that you mention it I can see that it was formed from the unspoken hopes and dreams of the people living in this city, but its still quite intangible. Why haven’t you properly [Manifested] it yet? I would think that a draconic-type spirit would be of great help, would it not?”

The young man’s face flushed.

“Well, uh, I haven’t exactly...I…uh…you see…” his voice got quiet. “I…can’t use [Manifest].”

Rortenferry smiled, thinking the admission a joke, and then his face fell as he realized Vee was serious.

“My boy,” he said in a small voice. “How did you ever graduate from the Academy? I’ll have to amend my hypotheses regarding the unique properties of your orchestra. After all, it’s entirely possible that your…unorthodox approach to our noble craft led to some sort of unexpected interaction between you and the fiends that’s impossible to predict. Now, let’s have a look at your orchestra, shall we?”

“Perhaps not today,” said another voice. Duvian, Rortenferry’s [Seneschal], had stood up and the [Ghost Maestro] turned toward her. Neither of them spoke further, but Vee felt the ripples in the ethereal that could only be a conversation between the two of them. He waited politely for them to finish.

“Ahem,” Rortenferry finally said, looking somewhat irritated. “My [Seneschal] makes the fine point that it’s been quite some time since we’ve seen each other, and that it would be more appropriate for us to wait until tomorrow to continue our business. Shall we resume our discussion tomorrow morning?”

“That’s fine with me,” Vee said. His stomach was rumbling, and he was relieved that he could go and find himself something to eat instead of spending the evening watching Rortenferry examine the fiends. He suspected that the other [Ghost Maestro]’s tests would be…rigorous.

“I must beg one additional favor,” Rortenferry said as Duvian woke the Witches and the group readied themselves to leave the office. He pointed to the bow in Luna’s hands and took it when she offered it to him. “Might I keep this weaponsoul in your lab? I’m afraid that my room in the city lacks the proper safeguards for storing a dangerous spirit, and I’d feel more comfortable with it here.”

The [Dungeon Master] winced. Truthfully, chances were good that his lab also lacked the proper safeguards for storing a dangerous spirit. Still, he gave his blessing and Alforde led the [Professor], Duvian, and Luna downstairs.

Vee was about to follow them when Holly grabbed his shoulder and stopped him. Oh right, she’d wanted to talk about something.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“My dad is up to something,” she said. “Something big and serious. I…I think it has something to do with Westown.”

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 28 (-1)

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 17

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 12

Wit: 31 (-1)

Faith: 21

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 13

Plotting: 18

Charisma: 12

Devious Mind: 21

Leadership: 16

Guts: 12

Intimidating Presence: 9

Citizenship: 20

Public Relations: 6

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 21

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 12

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 14

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 3

Might: 39 (+1)

Wit: 12

Faith: 25

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Endurance: 19 (+1)

Intimidating Presence: 13

Heart of a Champion: 8

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 6

Vanity: 4

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 39

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 14

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 8 (+1)

Might: 1

Wit: 32

Faith: 11

Ambition: 26

Greed: 22

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 35

$#&*!@!!

Loyalty: 45

Patience: 10

[#&%%%@%!#@__--#%]

%^(@#!! @#$@!@#

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 7