Gardenia of Blooming Desire

"We're here," the coachman pulled the lead rope and I could feel a soft bump before the carriage stopping completely. It was already around three pm when I arrived at the Grand Duchy.

The Grand Duchy stayed the same after two years. The fresh scent of flowers lingered in your nose, the lush gardens surrounding the duchy, the white castle that looked very dreamy. Nothing changed.

"You're finally back. Go wash yourself and return to your room," I heard someone from behind me. This familiar voice had me jolted.

"Ah, Anne, I--I mean, ma'am! Yes!" I blurted.

"You're still as incompetent," Anne said bluntly. However, her face pasted a small smile, "All serfs are having party in Grand Duchy's farm nearby. Today is Young Lord's birthday, so everyone should rejoice," Anne said.

"But you're not going to go with them. You must attend Young Lord's birthday party, also, wear the clothes Young Lord have selected himself," Anne explained more. She always had this stern aura around her, but she was never unkind. That was why I never felt scared of her expression, maybe just a bit nervous.

However, what shifted my attention was that last sentence, "Young Lord... personally selected clothes for me? How come..."

Anne shook her head, "I don't know either, maybe Young Lord doesn't want to get embarrassed if his servant had rugged clothes."

"I see..." I deflated and excused myself to the worker's hut. The hut stayed the same, but no one was here because of the serfs party.

I took a bath and returned to my room. I started putting my clothes and other stuff to the same cupboard two years ago. And then, I saw a white shirt with silver button in it. From the touch of it, I could immediately feel the expensive material of this shirt.

'Even a button might cost a quarter of my slave price.'

'Something this expensive, is this a welcome gift or a kind gesture for me? Or maybe... Young Lord has been expecting me... maybe he actually waits for my arrival.'

I shook my head and slapped my cheek few times to wake me up from a daydream.

'No, Ramuja! Know your place!' I repeated my words over and over again, this three words was my magic words.

'Know. Your. Place.'

After my mind and heart calmed down, I put the shirt and got a bit surprised.

'How does Young Lord know my size?' I pondered. Since I grew quite big after two years.

The sun was setting when I finished everything, I went out with the letter from Young Lord. They said I should give this to the guards at the door, so I can enter.

There were plenty of nobles who walked in after showing their invitation, thus, I did the same. I walked carefully and cleared my throat, "Excuse me, I am Young Lord's servant tasked to attend him in his birthday party." I said politely.

The guards observed me, and then said, "Only people with invitation letter are allowed to enter, even servants."

I handed out my invitation letter to the guard. When the guard flipped the letter and saw Young Lord's wax stamp. His breath stopped a bit and he whispered something to his colleague's ear.

Then, they looked at me with hostility, "You are not allowed to enter!"

"Hah?!" I was taken aback, "But... I have invitation letter."

"Under the command of Her Majesty Grand Duchess, this letter is invalid."

"B--But that's from Young Lord! There is his personal stamp on it!"

The guard glanced at the letter in his hand and tore it in half. "This letter is now invalid. Now, Leave! You appearance is unsightly for incoming guests."

The other guard sneered, "Boy, look at yourself, do you think you'll look good with that fancy clothes given by Young Lord? It's like dressing a bear with a tutu!" the guards proceeded to laugh.

I stared at the torn letter on the ground. My fist clenched tightly, but I couldn't do anything. I shouldn't make any ruckus in Young Lord's party. Thus, I collected the torn letter and walked out.

I stood behind a tall bush, so incoming guests wouldn't see me. The sight of a slave around the party might really bother the guests.

'Young Lord, your letter... I'm sorry.'

I heard a carriage approaching, peeked a bit, and saw golden carriage. A handsome man around his early forties and a young woman who resembled Grand Duchess exited the carriage.

'Emperor and Golden Princess?'

My eyes followed their step until they entered the hall. Soon after, I heard clamoring claps from inside the main hall. The windows were closed, but one could see the party inside.

I walked into one window and saw the party inside. The nobles with their sparkly doublet, suit and dresses all gathered, creating such dazzling view. The grandeur chandeliers, variety of foods, even a stage for musician. It was glamorous.

My lips curled up, "Young Lord is such a dazzling man, of course his party should be as dazzling!" I said enthusiastically.

"Maybe he's going to use colorful colors for his attire? Or classic black and white? Even gold? Anything looks so perfect on him, ah..."

And then, I saw a man emerged from a door leading to the spotlight of a bifurcated stair. A man with short and wavy gold hair, silver doublet threaded with gold, and diamond earring on his left hear. His facial feature was always perfect. No, maybe it was even better now. His eyes looked cold, but deep and tempting. That eyes were different from that I remembered. But it always mesmerized me.

'You look amazing, Young Lord,' I bit my lower lip, 'You look even better now.'

Everyone gasped, silenced or just dumbfounded. And it looked funny, 'Young Lord, everyone is looking at you. Well, they should be.'

Grand Duchess took control over the situation and stood side by side with Young Lord. She said many things, but she seemed to pinpoint at two lines.

"Naturally, he is also eligible for engagement."

"...My son is a handsome, well mannered and intelligent man. It would be my pleasure to entertain a suitor for my son."

After she announced that, many women and men gasped in pleasant surprise. I gritted my teeth, a burning feeling inside my heart felt painful, but what Grand Duchess said was true.

'Young Lord is a handsome, well mannered, intelligent man from a wealthy Grand Duchy...'

I saw my own reflection on the windowpane. Big body, bronze skin, rugged face. My look was the definition of labor slave.

I was already this ugly, but added with this fancy white shirt with frill on the neck, it just very mismatched, it made me looked like a giant in dress, funny, but disgusting.

'Why did Young Lord chose such good apparel for me, it really looks ridiculous...'

'Maybe he just wants some laugh at the party? Well, I'm just his slave, if he wants me to be laughed at, I should accept it.'

I casted a bitter smile, "I'm sorry Young Lord, you can ridicule me later."

I walked off and wandered around the garden. Then I sat near the fountain for a long time. This place was the place where I would accompany Young Lord every morning before dawn, because his skin condition, he couldn't stay for too long or he would get severe rash.

I took out the silver pin, Young Lord's personal pin, and caressed it tenderly.

"Young Lord, I'm here."

"I don't know all of these flowers names. But they do look beautiful."

"But not as beautiful as you..."

I laughed. I just said such cringe line, Young Lord might dismissed me if he heard it.

TAP... TAP... TAP...

I heard footsteps coming near. I rushed out to a thick bush around and hid there. Because my body was big, the bush shook obviously when I moved a bit.

"Ramuja?" my breath shortened.

'Young Lord? Why are you here?'

"Ramuja? Come out, I've been waiting for you." Young Lord called again.

My body trembled whenever Young Lord called my name. Since there was no way to hide anymore, I stood up and approached him cautiously.

Young Lord's appearance was even better up close and my body shook even more. I kneeled in front of him, "Y--Young Lord, pardon this servant's impertinence, this--this servant didn't mean to hide--"

Before I finished talking, I felt a warm body pushed me to the flowerbeds. Young Lord hugged me tightly, he was on top of me and his perfume intoxicated me a bit.

"Why are you so late? Do you know how anxious I am?" he said.

I went silent a bit, then uttered only one word, "Sorry..."

"Sorry? Is that all you want to say!?"

Young Lord released his hug and sitting on top of my stomach. The moonlight was shining above him, showering him with faint blue light that gave him an unreal image.

I was dazed and speechless. But Young Lord started to cry.

"Y--Young Lord? Don't cry..." I said anxiously. My hand unconsciously trying to wipe his tears. However, Young Lord gripped my wrist, closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek in my hand. I was worried that my rugged hand would scratch his delicate skin.

"Ramuja, I miss you..."

'Young Lord? Is this for real? You missed me?'

'I miss you too, Young Lord. You keep coming to my dream, I'm afraid I don't want to wake up even if it's an everlasting nightmare...'

Young Lord finished rubbing his cheek and opened his eyes slowly.

I see pair of pure golden eyes, shone brightly as if it was about to swallow me whole.