Illegal Alien in a MMO World

 

“Huh…” I muttered, taking another swing of the burning sweet liquor. Compared to what we went through to get here, the tools and connections of a veteran player felt like cheating. Or at least disingenuous towards the full immersion experience CORA, the FTLN and VR pods created. Almost like this intricate and complex artificial world was taken for granted and being true to it was to your own detriment. 

It was strangely sobering and disappointing.

Putting some but not all of my thoughts into words, I commented after a pause. “Hearing how easily you made the trip, I can't help but feel a bit cheated.”

An icon in the corner of my augmented reality UI flashed once, twice and then a third time marking notifications. Dragging it up with a twitch of a pinky and a flick of my eyes, I opened the chat window and read.

Elixatmael: Did you forget direct messages exist? (ㆆ_ㆆ)

Elixatmael:  Is this why you didn’t message me at all in the last two weeks?  (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Elixatmael: (╥﹏╥) I did give you my contact details and tell you to message me if you needed help or wanted to talk. 

Ignoring the entirely unexpected use of emoticons, I glanced Elle’s way only to catch her smirking, eyes twinkling with contained amusement. 

I was being teased.

“Nooooooo!” I caught myself whining. “I do know DMs exist! I even DMed Roxi! Tell her how I DMed you Roxi!”

“You did,” she nodded. Relieved, I took another sip. Only to be caught off guard as she rolled her eyes and joined team smirk. “Then you didn’t reply for days”

“That’s pretty bad Aisling,” Elle tutted, smile widening with predatory glee. “Ghosting a nice girl like Roxi...”

No! Stop! This isn’t fair! Help!

“I was unconscious!” 

“I heard,” her tone turned sympathetic. “Don’t worry I am just messing with you. But seriously you should make more use of direct messaging and the forums, other players are a great resource.”

Elle’s attention then shifted Roxi’s way, turning the interrogation her way. “That said I have to wonder why you haven’t been making use of all that either, Roxi. I seem to remember you mentioning on the road from Fort Brightspring how you consumed a number of player streams for entertainment.”

She had a point there.

When we first met Roxi was telling me all about the different streamers she’d watched before deciding to play the game herself, sharing what she’d heard to optimize our experience from the start. She had brought it up again on the road to the capital once El joined us, talking to pass the time as we walked.

Aside from that she hadn’t given me any signs that she was making use of outside resources as we played.

“True,” she agreed, looking utterly unfazed.

"I've been ignoring all that,” Roxi confessed. “It's been really fun playing the game following Aisling's pace. As much as I love game lore and history, previously I've never really managed to get into the right headspace for roleplay all that much, but playing together we both wound up getting really immersed. Especially since Aisling needed some escapism, she's been having a rough patch since her home life went up in flames."

“That sounds fun,” she admitted, before sending another sympathetic look my way. “And Aisling… I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I hope things get better for you. Honestly you seem like a good kid who could maybe use some help and support and just reminding you again that my messages are open if you need to talk.”

Uncomfortable focus turned back my way? 

Yep. Take a shot.

Thumbing the bottle’s opening once more, I took a slow breath. “...Thanks Elle, I will. Next time.”

“You know… I have to wonder why the Duchess sent us, if she could have sent you instead?”

“I won’t deny that this mission plays towards my strengths, but you have to remember this is still a game. I’m grossly over leveled for this and most missions I have been doing in this area, it wouldn’t be a challenge for me. Going on difficulty and challenge the game chose well giving you this questline, I’d bet it is both really engaging and giving you a mountain of experience.”

“But yeah going back to your question and ignoring the mechanics of difficulty in quest assignment, I had my own mission for the Duchess and she wouldn’t have known how long I’d be gone when she assigned this to you. As already stated before, the Duchess has placed a huge importance on the outcome of this quest. She wouldn’t have sent you if she believed you couldn’t handle it or couldn’t be trusted to stick it out and complete it without betraying or failing her.”

“You must have made some impression on her after I left you,” she winked. 

Meeting the spy and swashbuckler’s gaze I locked my face in a serious expression and replied. “If you count passing out for several days due to hypothermia and overexhaustion as a good impression? Then yes.” 

Noting Elixatmael’s lack of surprise as she rolled her eyes, I realised she must have already heard at least part of that story from the Duchess. 

“Ok, ok” I laughed. “I had a good character reference.”

Ok, that answer earned me the surprised blink I was after.

“I came already endorsed by one of her good friends, though I imagine successfully delivering to her that mail packet meant for the Baronet in charge of Fort Brightspring containing Baron Redwood’s battle plans, didn’t hurt our reputations,” I answered, refusing to elaborate further.

Heh.

Lets see Elle enjoy trying to work out what that means.

The truth really is stranger than fiction, I doubt she’d believe me if I told her.

 

* * *

My body was starting to feel pretty warm and numb, my cheeks were burning as if I was blushing, and here in this underground sanctuary surrounded by friends I felt happy, safe and drowsy.

I was also feeling pretty full. 

Turns out having your secret hideout beneath a prosperous trading port meant you could stock it with plenty of good quality food and we were taking full advantage of it making ourselves an impromptu feast. After the last few days of both hot and cold travel rations, I was in heaven.

I was warm, dry, safe, eating good food and drinking good booze with friends. All good things I had scarcely experienced previously in real life and extra intoxicating because of it. Yes, you could get drunk off of happiness, being safe, or being warm. Especially after experiencing a lack of any of them.

My liquor bottle hadn’t been full when I bought it, but I’d managed to drink almost half of what had remained before I’d traded what was left for some of the honey mead Elle had found.

Resting with my back against a crate, I was feeling pretty content sipping at the mead and just relaxing as I let my thoughts lazily ebb and flow through my sleepy brain. The only thing that could have made this better was if I was still leaning on or against Roxi, but she had stepped away to gather what we needed to wash away the dust and grime of our journey.

My thoughts wandered slowly and aimlessly, drifting between topics with little rhyme or reason. 

An intrusive thought penetrated my happy haze.

Last night’s dream revelations. 

As if following the first through a crack or breach, intrusive thoughts followed one after another, darkening the happy haze until it was storm clouds.

My identity crisis.

How I felt about my former body and the fastidious way I maintained it for my own comfort.

The illusion I wore earlier today. 

The sensation of wearing it and how being perceived that way had grated at me.

Making this game character and my experiences living it.

How comfortable and right it was. 

How it felt for others to see and treat me this way.

Is this how I want to be? To not be the old jamie?

Was I allowed to be this?

Not in the republic. Deviancy wasn’t permissible.

But if May was right, I was damned since before I was born.

I wasn’t in the Republic anymore.

What would Roxi think?

Did Roxi known about Jamie the boy?

Had I told her?

What would Roxi think?

Her return, steaming bucket in hand, pulled my focus and interrupted my storming thoughts.

I had to ask her.

"Hey Roxi…” I nearly whispered.

“Yes?”

“Would…” Too quiet. “W-would you still like me if I was a girl?" I blurted out.

Roxi tripped, nearly losing her balance. The bucket hit the stone floor with a percussive clap followed by a splash. Just staring at me with a look of bewildered disbelief, Roxi froze in place trying to compute what I had just said. "You… What?.."

A moment passed and the silence was shattered by hysterical laughter as Elle and Gael started cackling.

“Oh my gods! She didn’t?”

“She did!”

Coughing as she tried to suppress her laughter to talk, I managed to catch two words muttered between strangled giggles. Disaster? Egg?

What!?

What does that even mean!?