Isekai Speedrun

Kenorland was a kingdom without a capital like many European kingdoms back in the day. It was located on a long, narrow peninsula rich in farmland, forests and lakes on the southeastern corner of the Mu Continent, directly bordering Reignland – kind of like Floridian Peninsula stretched into a thin banana shape and sloppily decorated with an archipelago.

The itinerant court of king Korryndin traveled around the peninsula from town to town and castle to castle, sleeping under the roofs of local barons, counts and margraves. For the first half of the year, the court traveled slowly along the southeastern coast – from the small city in Argosy barony to southern exarchate of Ialandir – and reached the southernmost tip of the peninsula just around the time for summer solstice. There, a freaky harvest ritual at the cliffs was performed, two pillars of wick and hay were burned, and a royal party lasting a whole week was held.

After the summer ritual, the itinerant court traveled back to north along the western coast of the peninsula – from Copper County to GrreIg barony to Grand Principality of Chisaray and so on – and when the de facto capital city of Ker (as designated by the Caliphate) on the northern border of the kingdom was reached, a grand ceremony was held during winter solstice.

Honored guests from other small kingdoms of Mu were entertained, new knights were honored, medals were given to exceptional soldiers and sometimes to commoners, and occasionally there was a coronation for a new king.

And then, after a brief respite, the itinerant court started moving again, and the cycle repeated ad infinitum –

– or the cycle would have repeated, if Caliph Tze hadn’t put a stop on it.

When Tze swooped in with his grand schemes of free-for-all colonization and universal basic slavery, and saw a small royal court happily traveling around, he went: unacceptable.

Caliph Tze didn’t immediately wipe out the old court of Korryndin (like he did in many other small kingdoms) because he realized that basically everything in Kenorland kingdom revolved around the itinerant court and its location – from hunting seasons to marriage seasons to planting crops to collecting taxes. He needed to keep the itinerant court moving to keep the country moving.

When something was so deeply integrated in the culture that it had survived even the slave towers of Strangers era, destroying those ancient traditions all at once would surely turn this neatly organized and prosperous land that provided constant flow of resources to Reignland into a chaotic mess of partisans and poverty.

Thus, Tze turned the itinerant court into what was basically a traveling circus of figureheads: half-fake princes and princesses-in-name-only playing their ceremonial parts like automatons to keep the masses of the clockwork kingdom in time. The real king and his retinue were kept under surveillance in the city of Ker near the Reignland border.

Now they were all Caliphate slaves without any real power. Over the years, more and more of the traveling court was replaced by Caliphate officers instead of peripheral members of the royal family, and more and more soldiers of the royal army were replaced by Caliphate soldiers, and eventually king Korryndin was told to sit tight in the palace of Ker until further notice.

Then, after Caliph Tze’s death, Korryndin hoped to revive the old traditions again, but so far nothing had changed much. He was still a monarch under house arrest in an annexed country.

As a side note: Caliph Tze took the idea for his own traveling palace from Kenorland, but understood it (deliberately) incorrectly. His whole palace interior traveled with him; an infinite train track where crossed segments from the back were moved to the front.

---

In the dining hall of the royal palace of Ker, at the far end of a long dining table made of polished gray stone, king Korryndin – wearing a white poet shirt – was enjoying his relatively meager breakfast: fried starlings, boiled pheasant eggs and white bread with redcurrant jam.

Fresh birds were currently a rare delicacy in southern Mu because of the famine. Poor people killed and ate all the birds they could catch, from hummingbirds to messenger pigeons.

Two Caliphate soldiers wearing greatcoats stood at the other end of the dining hall. They held revolver rifles and languidly watched over the old king’s every move.

Suddenly, unexpected thumping noises made the guards sharpen their demeanor. Both the king and the guardsmen glanced at the dining room windows; their first idea was that the rain outside suddenly got stronger, or perhaps there was a lightning striking far away. Then they realized that disturbed, muffled noises of anguish came from the hallways.

The guards took a stance and pointed their revolver rifles at the heavy double doors.

The doors were soon kicked open by a short-haired woman. The guardsmen immediately fired their guns in panic, but the woman simply took an odd pose in the doorway and killed both guards with a headshot. The bullets fired by the guards hit the wall behind the woman.

Rainwoman pointed his revolvers at the surprised old king holding a silver fork, but then she clicked her tongue and lowered her guns.

“Clear.” (Rain)

She turned around and walked back in the hallway.

After Rain's violent performance, I walked in the dining room together with Crys and Kimono.

“Only two guards, huh. Usually you get four. Good RNG.”

Kimono kicked the double doors and closed them behind us, and then started checking all the adjacent rooms and closets.

“Yo, kingboy, long time no see! Early breakfast before sunrise, still a slave to your character settings? No pun intended.”

I quickly checked my time card (plenty of time left), took the left-hand side of the table and sat down next to the king. Crys did the same on the opposite side.

King Korryndin kept his emotions in check quite well despite the surprising turn of events. He put down his fork, wiped his fingers into a silvery napkin, and immediately started asking questions with an unwavering voice.

“It seems you are not here to kill me. What do you want? Who are you? And how did you get in?” (Korryndin)
“I’m Captain Nemo, international man of mystery, fighting against tyranny – ah, sorry, let me take off my earplugs. Gotta save those sacrificial pebbles.”

Korryndin didn’t look amused by my fake introduction.

“Don’t be so stiff, Korry, that was just a little joke. I don’t really roll with that pompous royalspeak, let’s talk casually. So, who are we? We are the main characters, and we want to speak to the manager. Crys, do you want to give the man a hint about our identity?”
“We eliminated Caliph Tze and Suleiman Onion Hat. I advice you to take our words seriously despite his buffoonish theatrics.” (Crys)

Korryndin narrowed his eyes. He looked at the flagstaff tied to my left hand. Then he shrugged and leaned back on his majestic chair without a comment.

“Feigning ignorance is futile, Korryndin. Your puny spy network in the north was deliberately left alone. They only saw what we wanted you to see.” (Crys)
“...My, you really are the northern rebels. You are mighty far from home. Yes, I do know your reputation; whips have turned against blackbirders.” (Korryndin)
“Yeah, we’ve been slaying it for a while now. Slavemasters don’t like it when the crop cracks their face for a change.”
“I’ll have you know that the slaves in my kingdom have been always treated well.” (Korryndin)
“Of course, that's why we're here. If you were a heavy-handed supporter of slavery instead of being a bland neutral, we wouldn’t be talking right now.”
“Bland neutral? That is how you see me? Charming... Is it true that you operate a ship that can sail in the sky?” (Korryndin)
“Facts. Also, that wanted witch who summons rainstorms also exists, as you can see by looking outside – oh, by the way, sorry about the mess we left outside. She accidentally killed few of your loyal supporters while wasting the Caliphate guardsmen.”
“I see. So, is it krúricks then? Gold or silver? How much do you want? Three thousand for my head? If you wish is to acquire the skeleton key into my treasury, torture is not needed. The treasury was already plundered by Caliph Tze’s men long time ago.” (Korryndin)
“Do we look like people who care about money?”

Korryndin’s eyes twitched. He leaned forward again.

“I take great pride in my ability to evaluate the price people place on their heads. Was my judgment off this time? What do you want? And do tell me, how did you walked into my chambers so easily? Judging by your dry clothes, you must have used the tunnels.” (Korryndin)
“Skip. We’re here to pitch you a business idea.”
“Business idea?” (Korryndin)
“Yeah. Gotta stay open to new ideas to prevent stagnation. Insert some new blood in the line so the old doesn’t go stale, right?”
“...Certainly.” (Korryndin)
“The forces that are still loyal to you are few. You don’t have many guards of your own, and the ones you have are on the weaker side. The Caliphate troops that were forced upon you by the dead emperor Tze have dried up as well. What you can muster is about three and half thousand men to four thousand men to do your bidding.” (Crys)
“You must know the numbers better than me. Judging by your interest in my loyal subjects, I can make a guess about your intentions.” (Korryndin)
“That saves time. Let me answer your earlier question as a reward: we used the secret passage from your bedroom to the stone hut outside the walls to get in. You don’t need to worry about people outside these top floors, they don’t know anything about what’s going on here.”

King Korryndin nodded twice.

“You don’t mind if I continue my breakfast then.” (Korryndin)
“Go ahead, we already ate.”

Korryndin picked up his fork and adjusted his crown. As he cut the bird meat, he turned to Crys.

“You are from Sultanate lands, no? A fallen noble?” (Korryndin)
“I was born into Keris clan of Crater City, but I do not hold affiliation or loyalty to Sultanate. Apart from me, the Keris-Raye clan was erased by Suleiman’s Quench Proclamation.” (Crys)

Crys, you’re just going to expose yourself immediately like that?

I wanted to tsukkomi, but kept quiet. Perhaps Crys decided that lying to a king we want to guide on our side would be a bad move and went with plain truth.

Korryndin was an observant fellow. Maybe my flagstaff pointed his thoughts into the correct direction from the start, but it was Crys’ face and aristocratic demeanor that gave him away.

“You killed Suleiman as a revenge then. Do you wish to restore your family name? I can certainly help you with that.” (Korryndin)
“I have no interest in restoring the name of a dead clan. Suleiman’s death was my goal before, but now... Let’s say I’m merely curious about the future.” (Crys)

Who, me? Are you interested in me, Crys?

“And you are–” (Korryndin)
“I do not have any hidden heritage or tragic backstory like Crys here. I’m just a commoner born and raised in the western No-Lands before I moved to Bel Air... I mean Stray Dog City, where I lived with my rich auntie and uncle.”

This was one of the ad hoc backstories I used when my past was brought up. Crys had previously agreed that a No-Lands town boy who learned some etiquette in the middle strata of Stray Dog City was a convincing enough explanation to my strange otherworldly ethnicity.

“Ignore the flagstaff I carry, there’s a certain cursed reason I must hold this Sultanate-forged deco. You can rest assured that we oppose the Sultanate with the same passion as we oppose the Caliphate. Both empires suck.”

Korryndin gave a regal nod.

“I am Korryndin of the Vetten clan, the fourteenth king and royal governor of united Kenorland, the great prince of Grand Principality of Chisaray, overseer of the five grains and five domestic animals, ruler of these abundant lands which has been annexed under Imperial Reignland and the Tze Caliphate. I welcome you into my domain. May I hear your full names?” (Korryndin)
“Just call me Speedrun.”
“I am Crystal Pencil and he is Speedrun. These are the names we use as plenipotentiary ambassadors of the Revolution Movement of Northern Territories, Loönois Moorlands, Wineep Isthmus, eastern plains or Mu and western No-Lands of Ur. On behalf of our overlord, Dragon’s Head Sorry Man, we acknowledge your words of welcome.” (Crys)

Crys was raised in a noble house. Even if he didn’t care about the floating worlds of High Hats, harsh etiquette lessons from childhood were not completely forgotten.

“Let’s stay on first name basis, Kord-kun.”
“Call us by our soubriquets.” (Crys)
“Very well, Crystal Pencil and Speedrun. It seems there are plenty of room for negotiation.” (Korryndin)

Revealing his old family name without hesitation and introducing our gang formally were indeed pro moves from Crys. Korryndin was more receptive to our message now. Couldn’t have done it better myself.

“Since introductions are done, let’s talk about your court physician Galvarius de Argys.”
“My court physician?” (Korryndin)
“Yes. Where is Gal-bot right now?”
“Galvarius should be in his quarters in the southern wing of the castle.” (Korryndin)
“I’m asking because his daughter Klofi Munthe alias Klofi de Argys recently became a member of our party... Don’t get me wrong, I’m not threatening anyone or saying that they cannot meet each other, this isn’t a hostage situation at all. On the contrary, I think the whole family line should come together and revolutionize the healthcare system.”
”Healthcare system...?” (Korryndin)
“That’s a topic for later. You know what, let’s skip straight to the conclusion and work backwards from there: we are here to make you the next emperor of Reignland.”
“What?” (Korryndin)
“You will sit on the throne as the first emperor of the Great Empire of Mu.” (Crys)

Korryndin almost dropped his fork on the table out of surprise, but quickly collected himself.

“I see... You want a new puppet to replace that current puppet Xil.” (Korryndin)
“Kind of yes, kind of not. This might sound like a dream palace from your perspective, but we actually have a detailed plan. Our main goal is to wipe out the old system and install a new system. This is all about Reignland, of course, we don’t need to touch Kenorland at this point. You will rule over Reignland and all its principalities and colonies, Kenorland included, so you can arrange the basic court loop however you want using your three princes and three princesses. If you want to put it in numbers, you’ll be about one-third puppet and two-thirds agent of revolution.”
“A puppet is still a puppet. What is the ultimate goal behind such arrangement? Why would your group, your rebellion, attempt something so... troublesome?” (Korryndin)

Korryndin probably wanted to say ‘impossible’ instead of ‘troublesome’.

“The ultimate goal of the Revolution Movement is simple: create the strongest and largest gang; a gang of gangs, if you will. The name of this big gang can be state, kingdom, or empire; whatever you want to call it. The members of this strongest street gang are called citizens. You are born into the gang and you get your personal gang sign called social security number. The real question then becomes: why would you ever join a smaller and weaker gang when you are already a member of the largest and strongest gang called civilized society? That’s the gist of it. The rest is just details.”
“Details are what matter most.” (Korryndin)
“Oh, absolutely, I agree. Which is why we’d like you to fully understand and accept the details of this arrangement by heart today, this very morning. And speaking of hearts, you should know that both of your lost daughters are probably still alive. Your first-born princess Spell-Merie is currently hiding somewhere in the ruins of the Castles of Victory or in that general area. Afterwards, you might want to–”
“My precious Spell is still alive?!” (Korrydin)
“Yes, your princess is in a another castle. Your uncle Wingarrow betrayed you and made a secret deal with Caliph Tze back then, but Spell got away from the Moving Palace with her handmaidens and went into hiding. You probably know about your uncle’s betrayal at this point already, right?”
“...Yes, I’ve known for a while. Unfortunately that man is out of my reach in Reignland. When my daughter was taken by him, my hands were tied.” (Korryndin)
“Well, your kidnapper-uncle is already on our instakill list because he’s heavily into child slavery and loves the idea of drapetomania almost as much as Tze himself. Wingarrow will be captured and executed soon enough, so you’ll get your personal revenge one way or another. It’s all part of the plan.”

There was a famous flashback scene in the filler episode where king Korryndin’s uncle Wingarrow used his youngest son as a shield against an assassin. When the baby boy died, Wingarrow threw the body out of the window and ended the scene with a memorable line: “You can always make more”. And this wannabe-slavemaster-ojisan was the mastermind behind the kidnapping of Korryndin’s oldest daughter.

The actual escape sequence of princess Spell-Merie was a short cutscene in the game before the ‘Find Princess Spell’ side mission. She managed to get out the Moving Palace soon after it left the Reignland zone, with the help of her handmaiden-bodyguards, and disappeared into the night. And then it was up to the player to find her.

By the way, this ‘threatening family members’ strat obviously didn’t work against Revolution Movement because 99% of our members were orphans or non-humanborns.

“You don’t care to ask about your younger daughter Charm? Ah, that’s right, you’re still thinking she ran away. No, Charm-Merie didn’t run on her own, and she should be alive somewhere around Drunken Forests, if you care to find her at some point. I’m sure your favorite daughter Spell wants her sister back, even if you don’t, so...”
“How many eyes do you have in my court? How do you know about Charm-Merie?” (Korryndin)
“We don’t need eyes where we’re coming from. I’m the Mad Seer, don’tcha know, and you're part of the lore.”
“Lore? Hmph... I see. It is the burden of those who sit on the throne to stay as the main topic of rumors and whispers behind closed doors. So, you want a representative who understands his place in the hierarchy and understands your views, and makes decisions that align with your decisions on his own rather than as a mere mindless puppet. Have I understood your intentions correctly?” (Korryndin)
“Ping pong, hundred points. See, Crys? I told you this guy gets it.”
”Korryndin, your routine as a puppet doesn’t change, only the one pulling the strings changes. However, looser strings give you room to maneuver as you please.” (Crys)
“...If you can manifest your plan in reality as easily as you seem to think. In any case, I would like to at least meet my new puppet master in person instead of speaking to his retainers.” (Korryndin)
“Dragon’s Head Sorry Man moves at his own pace. He will communicate with you by plucking the strings.” (Crys)

Korryndin pushed his breakfast away and threw his serviette on the plate. I recognized this expression and action: in the game, it indicated that an unskippable monologue cutscene was about to start.

“I once had a talk over a meal with my oldest son just like this. I asked him what he would do if I suddenly died and all his siblings would start fighting over the throne; I had five sons and two daughters back then. Do you know how my oldest son answered? He said he would kill his youngest brother first because he’s the weakest and easiest to kill. No hesitation or shame in his words. My youngest son was six back then. Now two of my five sons are gone, including my oldest, killed by Caliph Tze and his repugnant followers. Three of my sons are still alive, and it seems both of my adult daughters and my youngest daughter are as well, but I haven’t been able to see any them for a long time because I’ve been held here and they’ve been traveling according to the tradition. I haven’t had a chance to ask them that same question. I hope to see my sons and daughters again, and I hope to hear a different ans– What are you doing?” (Korryndin)

Korryndin suddenly stopped his monologuing.

They all looked at me like I had just pulled down my pants.

“Oh...”

I had reflexively stood up from my seat and started a sensual solo dance consisting of slow swaying and custom emotes.

In the game, there were certain monologues that were considered unskippable because stopping the monologue in any way had a high chance of making the friendly NPC to detest you. You were still able to freely move around during the monologues without angering them, so one of my signature pro-streamer habits was to do silly dances during these 'cutscenes'.

“Sorry, sorry... Old streamer habit kicked in. I didn’t mean to mock you or anything. Sorry. I’ve been under lot of stress and it doesn’t count as physical damage, unfortunately...”

I quickly sat back down. How embarrassing.

Crys dispelled the awkward moment by forcing the conversation back to the main topic.

“This is why Speedrun has earned the epithet Mad Seer. Ignore his harlequinades.” (Crys)
“Haa... I understand.” (Korryndin)
“Korryndin, your family may live with you in the Sun Palace. One of your sons, whoever you choose, may wear the silver mask and the helmet-crown after your reign as an emperor is over. The bloodline of the Korryndin will be safe.” (Crys)
“It could also be one of your daughters. We support full gender equality, you know. Wearing the silver mask is also optional, you don’t need to bind yourself to the weird traditions of past rulers.”
“You would accept an empress? How magnanimous of you.” (Korryndin)
“Absolutely, if your sons are lacking in heart and humility. Right, Crys?”
“A puppet doesn’t need a gender.” (Crys)
“Hm... I still doubt you are able to do what you want in Reignland, but my stomach says I should rather trust you than any of the foolish nobles under that vile wight. So, when will this desperate rebellion take place?” (Korryndin)
“It’s already happening. Our associates are moving into positions as we speak. We’re doing this blitzkrieg style, all the way to the dungeon core today. Yes, you heard correctly: today. It’s a boots on the ground marathon to Reignland. We’ll kick down border checkpoints coming and going before midday, and zoom-zoom straight into the Sun Palace before midnight.”
“…If only it were so easy. It seems you are serious about this and my words cannot persuade you to reconsider. I cannot stop you from trying and failing, but I’d rather not be punished further by my current oppressors. While it’s entertaining to live in revenge fantasies–” (Korryndin)
“You should put your skepticism on hold and hear the details before calling our plans fantasies. You already know about the aces up our sleeves: a woman who summons rainstorms, a flying ship that carries powerful explosives, multiple powerful gangs and bands who follow our orders. And now we also have a heavily armored vehicle that spits beams of fire, waiting right at the border, engine running. Which part of this sounds like fantasy exactly?”
“...Do I need to answer?” (Korryndin)
“On top of all that, we have the unique advantage of knowing everything about Sun City, including all the hidden paths and secret systems. Just like I know your secrets here, I know the floor plans of Sun Palace. We know all the insiders, nobles, and traders who can be turned to our side with money or violence. We know the weaknesses of the boss enemies who must be killed on sight. We don’t need to clear every house in the Sun City, this ain't a modern urban combat scenario. Just taking the Sun Palace matters, everything else will fall in place with few prods.”
“The time for revolution is ripe. We have incited the civil war between new nobles and old nobles for a long time. The crops in the western fields have failed twice. You know from the reports that City of the Sun has been weakened to its limits. It is ready to burst open like a skull.” (Crys)
“...I am aware. And I am aware of your power. But still, a failure would mean–” (Korryndin)
“Failure is not an option.” (Crys)

Korryndin closed his eyes for a moment.

“Success or not, my people are left into a very vulnerable position. What if I still refuse, despite all this?” (Korryndin)
“Refusing now would go against your character settings.”
“What a strange things to say…” (Korryndin)
“This is your opportunity to exact revenge on your uncle Wingarrow and bring back your daughters. Think about your daughters.”
“There are no absolutes in this life. Certainly lord Sorry Man must have another plan prepared. Do tell me.” (Korryndin)
“We will simply choose someone else. Perhaps your own crown prince will receive the same offer soon after your abrupt death.” (Crys)
“Crys is just joking there, we wouldn’t go that far. Probably.”
“Dragon’s head Sorry Man demands this from you, Korryndin. He guarantees the continuation of your family in return. You have no choice. Your choices were limited to this from the beginning.” (Crys)
“Crys, we don’t need to play good-cop-bad-cop every time. He could say no, but he's an intelligent dude, so he won't. Right, Korry-kun?”
“So this is how it ends… forced to side with northern rebels...” (Korryndin)
“Crys is exaggerating. You still have choices, we just strongly recommend working with us when making those choices. This really is the best option for the prosperity of your family and country. We won’t kill you or do anything worse even if you refuse, we will simply move to plan B and send our co-op invite to some eastern duke. Look, it can’t be worse than under Tze, right? You want to rule this kingdom like your ancestors, but you can’t practically throw out the occupying Caliphate soldiers. The warriors under your command right now are lacking both in weaponry and training. You’re in a pinch already, so take the risk. Send some scouts after us and hear their reports. I trust that you can make the correct decision when they see our Flame Tank burning Death Squads to ashes.”
“Prepare your soldiers ready to ride today. Midday, they will ride; midnight, you will ride.” (Crys)
“Midday, huh...” (Korryndin)
“Yes, that’s when the sun is at it’s brightest. I mean, normally it would be worst time to move around in a hot desert, yes, but you don’t need to worry. The day will get dark fast.”

Korryndin sighed and crossed his arms. Maybe my persuasion check finally hit the expected range.

No, all this hesitation was probably just a smokescreen. He knew he was check-mated, but wanted to maintain some dignity in the face of inevitable events rolling beyond his control.

“Young heroes of revolution, it seems you have done a great favor for my country. I wish to find a way to thank you properly when the time comes.” (Korryndin)
“Great! Excellent choice! There is definitely a way for you to thank us!”

While I clapped my hands, Crys summoned his unique pencil and a stack of papers from his jacket pockets. Crys had more hidden pockets than a Victorian gentleman from a pickpocket’s worst nightmare.

“First you will sign a contract that will be the founding document of the new empire.” (Crys)
“May I read it before signing?” (Korryndin)

Crys handed over the papers.

Under the lights of prism chandeliers, Korryndin skimmed the nicely A4-sized pages. His facial expressions alternated between confusion and astonishment.

“...This, this is… There are so many words I’m not familiar with. This part about abolition of slavery; what is the meaning of this ‘future-proofing amendment’ of ‘inalienable right of a sentient being, defined as a human man, human woman, non-binary human, or non-human of sufficient neural complexity, to not to be owned like a property by another sentient being’? ...Is this related to deviants?” (Korryndin)

Crys looked at me.

“You explain to him.” (Crys)