My Attack Stat is Negligible, so I Can’t Help but Rely on Critical Attacks to Succeed!

A giant of a figure rested atop the podium. His appearance looked to be like one of those ancient Asian philosophers right out of a historical textbook. He called himself ‘Kami-sama’, and given the circumstances, I had no choice but to be on guard.

I quickly tried to construct a mana blade weapon, but surprisingly, no power came out.

“Relax, Claude. There’s no need to be on pins and needles. I’m not one of those so-called ‘Gods’ in your world. Not that you’re able to use those powers. They don’t work quite the same in this realm anyways.”

“Where am I?” I asked, feeling very vulnerable and unsure what to do.

“Hmm… let’s just say that you’re in that space between one world and others. Or if you want to go by terms in which you’re familiar with, a pit stop in between being isekai-ed would be a good comparison.”

“I don’t recall dying. I was supposed to be bonded with the Earth to revive it.”

A stroke of panic hit me as I wondered if I had suddenly failed my objective, but Kami-sama put his hand up to pause such thoughts.

“Now, now. You aren’t really dead, but there is a lot less interference in your current state. It just felt like a good time to reach out to you for a chat.”

“A chat, huh? What, you don’t have divine cell service or telekinesis or something?” I said, a bit relieved. “I’m all for chats with gods and stuff. A lot more effective than having to duke ‘em out before they’d listen.”

Kami-sama had a brief chuckle before he looked down at me with a somber expression.

“For all the trouble that has happened to you, I apologize. It was never supposed to turn out that way.”

I cocked my head to the side in confusion, trying to understand what he meant by that, but he continued with his explanation.

“You see… I am responsible for sending people to other worlds. A way to balance out any trouble that might occur when a world has lost its way. As such, the ‘summoning’ of otherworlders falls under my jurisdiction.”

After a moment of silence for that statement to sink in, I hesitantly asked a question.

“So… all the isekai-ing and stuff was ‘your’ fault?”

“Yes and no. I kicked off the initial summoning. Plucked a nice girl from Earth who you knew by the name, SIstina. At the time, it seemed like a single summon wouldn’t have been enough, so I decided that someone with the natural gift to call upon others was the ticket. Booooy, was I in for a dilemma,” Kami-sama said, laughing it off.

A screen appeared before me, showing the explosions that rocked Earth, causing its demise.

“Apparently, calling upon too many otherworlders in a short time frame caused a shift in reality and created the catalyst for a few paranoid trigger fingers. And before I was able to detect this anomaly, the colorful cast of people that Sistina called upon had compromised the whole operation. I could no longer stop the trajectory.”

Apparently, the ‘gods’ that were created on Leguardia had not been according to plan. Rather than saving the world, they had taken it over after the unfortunate demise of the Earth. That would have still been fine if it stopped there, but the whole goal of reviving Earth had made even Kami-sama nervous.

By that point, there was no good way of stopping the otherworlders that had grown too powerful. Fortunately, things eventually resolved themselves. It only took several millennia to get there.

After hearing this explanation, I couldn’t help but feel like he was trying to write off a major oopsie, along with an entire set of worlds that the decision impacted.

“You… mean… to tell me that you lost control of the situation?”

Kami-sama coughed and took a sip of tea, obviously delaying an answer.

“That it was you who called upon someone to do your job for you, because you didn’t feel like doing it properly yourself?”

The old man’s face twitched as he pulled back from the podium and blended into the darkness in the background. Moments later, he popped up right next to me, now normal in size and holding a big stack of papers. He really looked just like any old man.

“Now, look here! Hundreds and hundreds of requests to isekai folks every day! I swear that you people subsist on this kind of service way too much! Have you not learned to find purpose in your own damn worlds?! What is the deal with the allure of isekai?!”

All I could do was shrug. But then, I had a thought.

“Wait, why are you talking to me in English? You’re Kami-sama, right? Shouldn’t this have a Japanese voice-over?”

I got a response in the form of the old man shoving his face right into mine.

“I ‘like’ English! I’ve had so many spillovers of you so-called ‘otaku’ that I can’t help but anticipate it! I practiced it over and over, just so I wouldn’t have any more snafus! Or are you going to tell me that you’ll respond in perfect Japanese?!”

“Alright, alright! Sorry for insulting your hard work!”

I tried to back away from the bloodshot eyes that he was giving me, only to suddenly back into something hard. Immediately, I turned around, and my hand smacked across the front of a metal grill. Attached to that was a hood and a windshield. Not to mention a set of flickering headlights and four tires.

“Eh?! What the hell is a truck doing here?! Don’t tell me you’re isekai-ing me now?! That’s what you are planning to do!”

But then, something strange wrapped itself around my neck. A high-pitched voice seemed to speak right into my ear.

“Take a chill pill there, fellow man of culture! Give the old man some slack, and he’ll explain everything to you!”

I turned my head to see a set of beady eyes this time, instantly making me recoil at the closeness. With my head thrown back, I saw something that reminded me of a Dragon Quest man-o-war. Of course, the sight of the unexpected creature caused me to lose balance and tumble butt-first to the ground.

The blue thing floated gently downward until it plopped itself on my knee.

“You look like you’ve never seen a mug like this before,” it said, all smiles.

“He probably hasn’t, Snazzy.”

The other voice seemed to come right out of the truck next to me. But craning my head left and right, I couldn’t see any driver sitting within.

“Ya know, with all the stuff the dude’s been through, you’d have thought a talking jellyfish and truck wouldn’t be such an oddity!”

“Well, maybe if you didn’t treat our relationship like a manzai routine, then he might take us a biiiit more seriously.”

“Nandeyanen?! Ya callin’ me the ‘boke’?!”

“If only your tsukkomis weren’t so forced…”

“Your name’s the joke. A truck called ‘Diesel’?!”

“Hey, I didn’t get to choose mine, unlike yours, pfft.”

I looked between the two, unsure of what to say. Finally, I simply facepalmed. At least, now I could tell that neither one of them meant any harm. ‘Well… intentionally…’

Kami-sama walked up and stood between all of us, clearing his throat with an unbothered expression like this was just a normal thing. Overall, it was a rather peculiar scene that I had found myself in.

“Excuse these two. They are my helpers, Snazzy and Diesel. It’s quite difficult at times to handle all the tasks given to a god. Even we make mistakes, so there are times that we call upon others to aid in the tasks – those that have a unique ability to adapt to various situations. Those that are good at forming ‘connections’.”

I looked again at the two helpers. But no matter how I tried to spin it, I couldn’t imagine how a jellyfish and a truck could help a god at the level of saving worlds. But then again… I was here…

“Hold on… am I thinking what you’re thinking? Are you-”

“Asking if you could join in on the fun?” Kami-sama finished. “Got your attention now, haven’t I?”

He looked around for a moment before continuing.

“Perhaps, this place isn’t the best to continue our conversation. Let’s move to a comfier venue.”

“And how do we do that?” I asked, seeing nothing but darkness around the single patch of light where we stood.

“It’s your space. You conjure something. The world you lived in was all about ‘intent’, was it not? Just imagine a place, and I’ll work the ol’ deity magic.”

Kami-sama barely gave me a moment to think before he waved his hands in the air. The area around us started to spin and warp before coming back to focus.

It was a plain room that looked a bit like a public area, modern but familiar. A hint of Asian décor traced the walls. But then, my eyes spied a square table in the middle, along with four cushy chairs. Seeing that, I suddenly got a sinking feeling.

“Arara~~ here it is!” Snazzy had floated over to the table and pulled out a small briefcase from underneath. Undoing the clips, it opened, letting the contents spill out across the table.

The familiar clinking of Bakelite rubbing up against each other made a noise that couldn’t be mistaken for anything else.

“Why mahjong?” I had to ask.

“Why not?” Kami-sama simply said. “It’s not often that you get to play a round with a deity. Nor are there that many opportunities in my busy schedule to take a moment off. I have you to thank for taking care of a situation that I had punted downfield for a short while.”

“Eh? A few millennia is ‘only’ a short while?”

Instead of answering me, Kami-sama sat down and beckoned for us to join him.

Begrudgingly, I walked forward to claim a spot, right across from him. I had to see where this would lead. But then I wondered.

‘How the heck does a jellyfish and a truck play mahjong?’