No to Being the Suffering Heroine!

Cleaning up a baby-like vampire was a breeze.

How hard could it be to wash a well-behaved little one? Rather, soothing Friede, who insisted on joining the bath, was a whole lot trickier.

Sure, sharing the bath wouldn’t be an issue, but practically, it was impossible. The bathroom wasn’t spacious enough for three people, after all. Unlike a bed where one can just lie back, washing up requires some hustle, so even though Friede and Eleadra were small, things would get super cramped with all three of us in there.

“I’m sorry, Friede. But this is a bit too cramped.”

That’s why I had to ask for Friede’s understanding. I was already dead tired, and I didn’t want to wrestle in such a tight space before going to bed.

“Uuuh…!”

Friede puffed up her cheeks, looking pretty grumpy but ultimately agreed after I persuaded her with a lot of pouting.

“Oh, and, um… I’m really sorry, but could I ask you for a favor…?”

“…A favor?”

“While I’m bathing, could you pick up a couple of randomly picked clothes for kids? I can’t keep her in these rags.”

Taking the opportunity, I added one more request. I needed her to fetch some everyday clothes for Eleadra while we washed up.

It was necessary. Covering Eleadra in those raggedy restraints with a cloak was just a temporary fix. If I was going to keep carrying her around, I needed to at least dress her decently.

Just looking at her, you’d think she’s a harmless little girl.

She even calls me “Mommy,” yet I’m dragging her around in tattered restraints?

That would completely ruin the whole “disguise” effect. Everyone we passed would just keep staring at us.

“…You want me to get that kind of clothing? Me?”

Friede was outright horrified. She looked like the eldest son who was told to give up his fiancée for his younger sibling.

Yeah, who would want to run errands for a vampire girl they don’t have a single good thing to say about?

I completely understood her reaction. I’d feel the same way.

“Sorry to trouble you. But honestly, I have no one else to ask. Just this once, please? Can you do it?”

So, I gently kissed Friede on the cheek, speaking in a soothing tone to try and coax her once more.

“…O-Okay, just this once!”

Friede, covering her cheek, nodded with a flushed face.

Maybe it was because I was feeling all sorts of tired, but she looked even cuter than usual.

In that moment where I should have been thanking her, I just stared blankly at her face and let out a small laugh.

◆◆

As mentioned earlier, the bathroom was a bit cramped, but the facilities themselves were quite nice.

There was a leak-proof stone floor and drainage to let the water flow away. They even had a stone bathtub floating with fragrant herbs and flower petals.

They probably found it difficult to prepare hot water, so the bathwater was on the colder side, but for a village, it was quite a splendid setup.

To be honest, there were few inns in decent cities that even had a bathroom like this.

Public bathhouses are places made exclusively for bathing, so they have hot water, plumbing, and soap, but inns are generally just seen as places to sleep.

The mere existence of a bathroom puts it in the top 40%. If it has a private bathroom, it’s considered a high-end inn, and with this kind of setup, it might even be aiming for the top 10%.

If, by chance, they provided warm water? Then, it would land right in the top 5% of premium inns.

Those kinds of inns aren’t meant for run-of-the-mill wanderers; they cater to wealthy merchants, nobles, and top-tier adventurers looking for places to stay for months on end.

This inn didn’t have hot water, but it was still pretty high up there.

I was glad I spent some money to find a nice place.

With a satisfied smile, I took off my padded clothing and hung it up on a hanger in the corner of the bathroom.

I left my armor outside the bathroom, but I thought I should wash the padded clothing and underwear I wore underneath while I was at it.

I doubt they’d mind me doing laundry in the bath. With a drain setup, the downstairs wouldn’t end up flooded.

“Haah….”

Once I took off my underwear and hung it up, Eleadra, who had come in with me, looked at me in awe with her mouth agape.

“Mommy, you’re pretty….”

Yeah, Brunhilde does have a pretty body.

Still, I wish she wouldn’t stare at my chest with those captivated eyes. It makes me want to poke her!

“Alright, Eli. Let’s at least wash up a bit. You can hold out even if it’s a little cold, right?”

“Yep!”

Eleadra nodded as if it was a given. Well, considering she’s undead at her core, cold water probably wouldn’t bother her.

“Well done.”

I filled a bucket with bathwater and dumped it over Eleadra’s head while scrubbing her down.

If it was just for us, we could hop in and wash together, but I couldn’t dirt up the bathwater too much since Friede needed it afterward.

“Heehee…! Mommy, that tickles, it tickles!”

Eleadra was laughing and squirming, but she obediently let me scrub her down.

Without any life in my hands, maybe she thought there was no need to resist. That made it easier to wash her, although it did take quite some time since her body was filthy with dust.

“All done. Go play in the tub. Mommy needs to wash up too.”

“Okay!”

Eleadra splashed into the tub and started playing.

I kept an eye on her while washing away the grime on my body from sleeping rough and fighting, then diligently washed out my clothes, wringing them out to hang them again.

“Stand up for a sec. Mommy needs to get in too.”

After that, I sank into the fragrant bathwater, resting my back against the tub wall, and stretched out my legs.

“Haah….”

It would’ve been nicer if it were warm water, but this wasn’t too bad either. It felt like floating in a river, really.

Honestly, I hardly feel cold in general, so this temperature isn’t much different from lukewarm water for me.

That said, I felt like I could just zone out for a moment and drop off into sleep.

“Mommy, Mommy! Look at this! Water cannon!”

“Wah!”

If it weren’t for Eleadra splashing water on my face with her palm, I might’ve actually fallen asleep.

“Aagh, water’s in my nose! I can’t just dunk myself!”

I would’ve loved to just push her head down to keep her submerged for an hour or so, but there was no way she would drown. It was just a bad idea!

If I did that, she might think it was some kind of game and follow suit, and then I’d be the only one in trouble.

Even disasters I bring upon myself have limits, and I didn’t want to end up in a water torture situation.

◆◆

About twenty minutes had passed by.

“Hilde, I’m back! Nothing happened, right?”

Friede, who had gone out to buy clothes for Eleadra, knocked on the bathroom door.

“Yep. Thanks, I’ll be right out.”

I answered casually, then got out of the tub with Eleadra, dried off the water on my body, and went to put on my clothes…

“Ah.”

I froze.

I had to stop because I was faced with a problem I hadn’t considered.

‘…Not a single one is dry.’

That was right.

Common sense says freshly washed clothes can’t possibly be ready to wear.

I squeezed them out by hand, but my hands aren’t a dryer; there’s no way those soaked clothes would be dry.

At home, I could just change into something else, but this isn’t my home, so of course, I had no extras.

If I was going to do laundry too, I should’ve prepared some extra clothes beforehand, but maybe because I was tired, I just didn’t think that far ahead.

“….”

Ah, crap. Seems there’s no choice.

I can’t walk around in those damp clothes smelling like a wet rag. The only option left was one.
– Thunk.
I gathered my resolve and flung open the bathroom door. Standing there completely stark naked in front of Friede.

To be fair, it’s actually silly to feel embarrassed now.

We’ve bathed together more than ten times, and on top of that, we’ve had some even more embarrassing moments together, right?

“Ahh, H-Hilde?! What on earth are you doing…?!”

…So it seems like I’m wrong.

Friede, who jumped back in shock, turned beet red, looking like she might bleed from her nose at any moment.

“W-What’s with all the surprise now…?”

Her reaction was so intense that it caught me off guard. Despite knowing there’s no reason to feel embarrassed, I found my arms instinctively moving to cover my bare chest and lower half.

‘Why the heck am I suddenly feeling so bashful?!’

Flushing cheeks. Hunched shoulders. A little knee wobble. My body and mind… no, it felt like my reason and emotions were just doing their own thing.

“Hilde, get dressed! Even if we’re in a room, this is still…!”

“…What am I supposed to wear?!”

“Why don’t you have anything?!”

Right?!

“Uh, I forgot to prepare anything except one outfit and washed all of them….”

“…You are an absolute idiot?!”

With a look of utter disbelief, Friede yanked the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around me like a cloak.

“Just wear this for now!”

Then she dashed out of the room.

“What are you two doing?”

Eleadra, who had witnessed the whole situation from behind, tilted her head, looking confused about what was happening.

“Ahaha…”

Seriously, what kind of comedy show is this?

It just makes me chuckle.

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