ALL NOVEL Chapter 213
Chapter 213
The moment I realized I was different from others was probably that incident back in kindergarten.
“…I want to go home.”
I said to the boy who threw his dinosaur toy in boredom.
“Then, go home.”
“Hey, Oh Chun-ja, why are you so ignorant? If you do that, your mom is going to get mad! …Unless you break something, don’t even think about it.”
The boy sulked, pouting his lips as if he were really unhappy with the situation.
“Ah, I really wish I could break my arm. Then I could go home.”
“Then, I’ll help you with that.”
“Huh? Help with what…?”
Crack.
A moment later, that boy let out a scream that echoed throughout the kindergarten.
Unfortunately, instead of silencing the whiny boy, my intention backfired, and the loud noise continued until the ambulance arrived.
*
My mother looked at the middle-aged doctor in a white coat and glasses with a nervous expression.
“Um… Is there something wrong with our Chun-ja?”
After a moment spent staring at the monitor, the doctor shook his head slightly and said.
“Well, the results from the psychological evaluation are quite far from what is considered normal. Given her young age, I’ve taken into account a lack of knowledge and discernment, but her responses are quite unusual and consistent.”
“…What kind of response?”
“Antisocial Personality Disorder. In other words, there is a suspicion of congenital antisocial personality disorder due to functional issues in the brain’s emotion-related centers.”
“Excuse me? Can you please explain what that means…?”
“It’s a term that’s often misused, so there may be a slight difference from your understanding, but, um… I suppose it could be colloquially referred to as psychopathy in the sense that she does not feel emotions toward others.”
“That… that’s….”
My mother seemed so shocked by those words that she almost staggered.
As she barely managed to sit down, the doctor swallowed hard and continued.
“It’s too early to give up hope. In Oh Chun-ja’s case, she’s not a complete psychopath.”
“Excuse me? What do you mean by that?”
“Right now, the act of breaking a male student’s arm started from a motive that is hard to find in typical psychopaths. ‘I wanted to go home, and she said if I broke my arm, I could go home. So, I helped.’ That’s Oh Chun-ja’s statement. However, typically, a psychopath wouldn’t even consider this ‘help’ concept. Because the underlying emotion for that thought is empathy, and when one is born with a fundamental disability in that regard, they are labeled as psychopaths. In severe cases, they neither understand nor attempt to understand. Thus, while it may be faint compared to an average person, Oh Chun-ja is capable of understanding others’ emotions, indicating there’s enough room for treatment to make her completely normal. Zero and one are entirely different from each other.”
“I don’t think at all. Because the very foundation of thought is empathy, and when one is born with a disability in that area, it ends up being labeled as psychopathy. In severe cases, they don’t even understand, let alone attempt to understand. Thus, while faint, Oh Chun-ja can understand other people’s feelings, meaning there’s enough space for treatment in a generally acceptable state. Zero and one are completely different.
That was just something I said because I thought it would be less bothersome. But whether it felt like a very positive sign to my mother and the doctor, or if the doctor just wanted to sell an expensive treatment program, a long-term psychological plan, therapy, counseling, activities, and programs were traded for a hefty sum right there.
In the end, the doctor’s words were a scam, and my mother just threw money away.
It’s not that I didn’t try. Having learned that actions like breaking a boy’s arm led to such bothersome consequences, I imitated, followed, and acted out morally and emotionally appropriate behaviors.
I think I did fairly well objectively. However, being still young meant I had points I hadn’t considered due to a lack of experience, resulting in a few mistakes.
When my mother faced those mistakes, she said to me, “…you monstrous girl.”
The outcome was quite disappointing compared to the effort I had put in.
*
I found a goal. It wasn’t anything grand, just a simple aim to gather enough financial resources and then go live alone somewhere in the mountains until I die.
There wasn’t any special reason. I was just tired.
Acting every moment was exhausting. If I were to just let go and live as I pleased, the aftermath would be even more bothersome, so I couldn’t afford not to.
Because of this, mingling with people felt like colossal labor to me. I really didn’t want to do this labor.
Hence, what I was dreaming of was ultimately a life without the need to face people.
With that thought in mind, I entered middle school.
While I was drawing boundaries to improve my grades for a better future salary, there was one girl who unexplainably clung to me. Her name was Han Eunbyeol, the friendless nerd.
Well, she was that type, so it made sense she’d cling to me.
Her shallow thought was that since she has no friends and thinks she needs one, I must also be in need of her.
It seemed she operated with that level of thinking.
Given how cheap that thought was, her attachment brought more annoyance than gain.
But I considered that pushing her away would require more effort, and finding a partner during gym class was rather pleasant, so at some point, I ended up sharing a significant amount of time with that nerd.”
Since it was quite okay to lighten things up, at some point, that loser and I started sharing a considerable amount of time together.
During this time, I saw that loser, no, Eunbyeol getting surrounded by the so-called school bullies and being picked on.
Did he notice me too? With a desperate face, he squeezed out the words.
“…Help me.”
Of course, I didn’t help him.
The next day, he showed up in a tattered school uniform and after whacking the ringleader on the back of the head with a fire extinguisher, he asked me,
“Why didn’t you help me?”
Honestly, I wanted to ignore him since it looked like it would be a hassle, but I thought ignoring Eunbyeol holding a dripping fire extinguisher would be a risky move. So, I kindly said,
“….”
Was my answer not to his liking?
With a strange expression, Eunbyeol dropped the fire extinguisher and burst into laughter, looking at me as if I was pitiful.
“Choonja, you will never be able to □□.”
It wasn’t really an important thing to say.
*
After Eunbyeol transferred schools and the ringleader girl also transferred, my life became peaceful.
Studying wasn’t difficult, and my grades were good.
Thanks to that, the future of becoming a high earner didn’t feel too distant.
Of course, I knew it would take time.
As I walked, pondering ways to shorten that period, I stumbled upon the group of bullies that had tormented Eunbyeol harassing another kid in an alley I was taking to get home quickly.
…Seriously, they are dedicated girls.
Even after their leader was forced to transfer, it seemed they had no intention of changing their peculiar hobby.
Of course, it was none of my business.
As I tried to pass by, sticking close to the wall to avoid trouble, I couldn’t help but see the process of bullying up close.
It was more intense than I expected.
When the tallest bully was about to light up an unknown kid’s arm with a cigarette, I said,
“Wait a second.”
“….”
“How about you stop that?”
Then all the bullies glared at me.
Their eyes looked like a pack of wild animals recognizing an enemy.
Um… This is bad.
Honestly, I knew this would happen.
If you have a sense of discernment, it would be better to keep your head down and avoid conflict.
Even though I was aware of that, I deliberately provoked them.
I didn’t even know why.
My mouth just opened.
…Was it because I skipped my anxiety meds today?
In truth, figuring out the reason for that right now wasn’t important.
What mattered was getting through this moment that seemed like it would become the most annoying thing in my life safely.
“Ugh… who do you think you are talking like that? Want to take my place here?”
“That’s not happening.”
“Then, you little brat, just shut up! No, what’s the point of talking longer? Come here, I’ll help you out.”
I called them over, but as they approached, I shook my smartphone slightly, looking at the incoming bullies.
“I’ve been recording everything you guys were doing. The police are already on their way… If you stick around any longer, things might get messy. How about considering it bad luck and just leaving?”
I hadn’t actually recorded anything. It was just a hasty bluff I came up with.
But apparently, the girl in front took me seriously and suddenly reached out to grab my smartphone.
I dodged her hand with a slight twist of my waist and said, “It’s automatically backed up on the cloud, so this video won’t disappear even if you do something to my phone. But if you back off now, I can delete the footage myself.”
Then the tallest girl spat on the ground and said, “I know a better way.”
“Uh… what’s that? I’m all ears.”
“You can strip me down and film it to blackmail me back.”
“…”
Wow, these guys are more outrageous than I thought. Are they really in the same first year of middle school as me?
Still, I realized that it was a pretty effective method. After all, it could really mess up my life.
Just as I thought I’d make a run for it, about three more popped up behind me.
They were walking with convenience store bags, so it didn’t seem intentional, but for me, it was a perfect ambush.
Great, I’m screwed.
As I watched the approaching kids, hoping that even if a video got recorded, I wouldn’t get burned by a lighter, a rather decadent-looking guy appeared and said, “You kids seem to be playing really dangerously.”
He looked like he’d been working out for a long time; his body was quite muscular.
He was intimidating enough.
The tall bully seemed to sense his aura and replied with a tinge of hesitation, “It’s just kids being kids, so, uh, you can go along now.”
“For kids being kids, the conversation I’m hearing doesn’t sound like it at all.”
“…So what? What do you want?”
“What do I want?”
And the man coldly stiffened his face and approached, saying, “I have to step in.”
Thus, the man who advanced like a hero was beaten to a pulp by the girl bullies until the police arrived.
“…”
Huh?
That was my first encounter with Seon Taeyang.