Vol 4.5 Nicole’s Tale Chapter 5: The Saint Despairs
Nicole
A white desert, stretching into infinity.
A lifeless, featureless world with no mountains or valleys, only a flat land reaching to the horizon.
Only one distinguishing feature remained.
The Dragon.
Its body stretched onto the horizon, blanketing the black sky with its large body.
The Dragon was more akin to a serpent, with golden white scales that shone like the dim moon. However, its wings and hands were tiny compared to its body, unlike its brethren.
A girl floated under him, her clothless body shimmering with light; her long golden hair flowing along with the wind—even though there wasn't any. Her eyes stared at him with an uncharacteristically hateful look. And yet, you could see tears glistening in her eyes as well.
With all her might, she yelled.
"Tell me! Why, why must you hide the truth from the world? Please, o Heavenly Dragon! Shine the darkness creeping into my mind with your wisdom!"
"..."
"You can't just expect me to obey you without you telling me everything! All the suffering you created, just to preserve the Cycle… all the prayers you never answered… all the lies you made your Saint spew… I refuse to go along with it!"
"..."
"ANSWER ME!"
Nicole leaped from her mattress, panting.
It was a dream.
No, it was a communion. She managed to tap into the link she now had with the Divine Dragon.
Alas, it was a one-sided one. The Dragon had refused to answer her.
How many? How many nights had it been since she tried to communicate with him? She couldn't even remember.
Milicis refused to speak with her. And he too followed suit.
All they answered was for her to seek Hugo. And the knowledge she had bequeathed her.
She gritted her teeth, her eyes widening. Never before had she felt this… this frustration and anger and all the dark emotions she would always try to avoid.
She glanced down to her left and right. Anne and Amelie. She nearly lost them at that accursed town.
She knew she was supposed to feel horrified she just slaughtered an entire city. But she didn't. She couldn't. Not after witnessing first hand of their evil.
Evil. What does that mean? The Dragon… he's no arbiter of what's right and wrong. He's merely a creation of the Ancients, created to keep the Goddess at bay. And Milicis was merely his puppet.
She refuses. She will never be his puppet. Never.
Tears slowly leaked out of her eyelids. She covered her face with her hands, weeping silently.
What was she supposed to do now? No one was here to give her guidance anymore…
If only her grandmother was here…
…No. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t understand either. This knowledge… it’s forbidden… only she could know… she tried telling Anton… telling the others… but they would immediately forget… as if their conversation… her confession… never happened…
She was trapped. Trapped with the knowledge of the truth.
It didn’t matter if she wrote it down on a piece of paper. When she showed it to Anton, he said that he couldn’t read a single thing on it. It was all just scribbles to his eyes.
There was no escape. She was all alone with this cursed destiny of hers.
The Heavenly Dragon… the Great Saint Milicis… they were never the benevolent beings she saw them for all this time.
A lie… a sweet, terrible lie told to keep the world perpetually locked in the Cycle.
Four times it had occurred. Four times the Cycle had reset. This was the Fifth.
Four Legendary Heroes. Four Demon Gods. Four History Erasures.
All to keep Her from manifesting back into the world.
ㅤ
Anton
Damn it!
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
Why can't I help her when she needs it the most?
It had been a month since the Flaming Arrows left the kingdom of Kristbofo behind them. After Nicole obliterated nearly everyone in the city, the remaining soldiers of the revolutionaries chased after them. They managed to arrive back at the border, however, before they could come. And thank the Heavenly Dragon for that, since Nicole, well, she had been catatonic ever since she transformed into her draconic form, whispering over and over that it was all a lie. She was in no state to fight, let alone to use whatever that was again.
After that, they made their way to the east (after purchasing the weapons they lost on one of the small towns they passed), as it was supposedly where Hugo was, according to Nicole. They had all agreed that they wanted to see him again, even if just for a short moment. Including him.
Even if it meant being dragged into a fight they did not want.
Day after day, Anton suffered through Nicole's major shift of personality. Gone was the kind, smiling soul she was. That smile disappeared, replaced by wide-eyed looks and mumbles. It reminded him of a cleric girl he met a long time ago, who went insane after her entire party was killed, except for herself.
He tried. For the Heavenly Dragon's sake, he tried. He talked to her day and night, beseeched her to speak to him, but she refused. She closed herself off and suffered in silence.
Anne and Amelie fared no better. Anne told him to just let her be and recover from the trauma she had suffered on her own. As for Amelie, her enthusiasm to cheer up her savior ended up with her being slapped in the face one night. Anne had to comfort her as she cried from that slap.
She was too fragile—too precious for the world. She would be happier being a normal priestess in some church, healing the ill and giving charity to the needy, instead of being out here in this… pilgrimage journey or whatever it was.
Speaking of that, he didn't know why she suddenly changed her mind. She just said that she had to meet Hugo over and over, with no explanation whatsoever. Or rather, the only explanation given was that she had received a revelation to do so. If he didn't know any better, he would think she had gone coo coo under that pretty head of hers!
One certain night, however, brought a sudden and irreversible change in their relationship.
ㅤ
Altea Passage, a thin, treacherous mountain road connecting the Kingdom of Melah with the Kingdom of Stamseia, two of the numerous nations that inhabited the region of the Feuding States. It was there that the Flaming Arrows made their rest of the night, camping on a clearing just like they had always done all this time. That night, they stopped their trek late, so they were forced to gather up firewood after the sun was already down. Not the wisest thing to do in a monster-infested wilderness like this, but seeing how the strongest monster around was only B-rank, they could take the risk.
The task fell to Anne and Amelie, which left Anton and Nicole to guard the camp. The former stood outside, patrolling back and forth around the clearing they had established themselves in, while the latter hid herself in her tent, seemingly uninterested in participating in the task.
It all went normally for them, until suddenly, a peculiar sound entered Anton’s ears.
Hmm? This is… Someone is crying?
At first, he thought it was the work of a monster. Some did indeed have the capability to mimic human sounds, luring in their prey who thought they could save a stranger from their dire fate.
But, after closer examination, it was clear as day where the sound came from.
Nicole! That’s Nicole’s voice!
He walked up to the tent, intending to comfort her immediately like a friend should.
Only to stop himself at the last second, his hand barely touching the tarp.
Doubt. Doubt had filled his mind. Doubt whether he could even do that.
This past month nothing he said to her could bring that sweet smile back. What makes him think he can do it now? And Anne said he should leave her alone, until she could recover on her own.
…
…
No! Screw that! As if I can stand by hearing her weeping like this!
If I were him… If I were Hugo Greenwood… I would comfort her for sure! No matter how many times I have to try!
With renewed determination, he pulled away the tarp.
Revealing Nicole sitting on the floor, covering her face with her hands, sobbing into them.
He didn’t wait.
He swept in, wrapped his arms around her, and gave her a firm, tight hug.
He didn’t say anything. He simply gave her a shoulder to cry to.
…
…
Her crying receded, until she stopped entirely.
He released his grip, putting his hands on her shoulders, smiling at her.
“Feel better? Don’t you. You’ll always have my shoulder to—”
Their lips connected.
Nicole… she had pressed her lips into his.
ᅠ
Nicole
Warmth.
She sought warmth.
No, she didn’t simply seek it. She desperately was in need of it.
A nightmare. Of the screams of the people she had vaporized.
The guilt finally came. Like the final piece of a Jenga tower, piling on top of all the despair and loneliness she had suffered.
Who was she?
Who was she really?
A priestess, serving a false religion, murdering an entire crowd of people even though she could've easily spared them. Chosen by an artificial god, who isn't really a god at all. All the preaching she did… it only led the masses astray of the truth.
She was never the Nicole Blanchimont she knew.
She burst into tears. Pitiful, pathetic tears born out of her self-pity.
She remembered when she chastised her old friend Sherry for doing the same. How the tables had turned.
…
A warm pair of arms embraced her..
Hmm? Where did it come from?
Oh, it came from… from him. Anton. She didn't even notice him coming in.
He was now hugging her, it seemed.
…
Slowly, her tears ceded to exist. For his warmth had enveloped her cold, shuddering body.
A tiny, almost imperceptible flame of joy ignited in her heart once again, slowly burning brighter and stronger the longer she basked in his warmth.
When he looked her in the eye, she could not resist.
She pressed her lips right into his.
She pushed him to the floor, inserting her tongue as she unbuttoned his robes and shirt.
She wanted him. She wanted his warmth, right inside her body.
Her hands groped his chest, firm and sturdy, exactly like she wanted it to be. She pressed her own chest onto it as she wrapped her arms around his body.
When the kiss ended, she looked at him, smiling bashfully, nodding her head.
He didn't wait a second more.
He pushed her back, now having her body underneath his.
It was now his turn to undress her. With shaking hands, out of nervousness, he unbuttoned her priestly coat from top to bottom.
He gulped, his Adam's Apple visibly moving when her breasts, normally squished underneath said coat, bounced free. Since when were they that big, he thought to himself.
When he finished, he gently pulled the fabric away entirely, leaving her only with the pink bra she wore underneath.
She nodded once more, pointing at the hook of said bra.
She wanted him to take it off.
He obliged. With still trembling hands, he unhooked her bra, revealing the full glory of her naked breasts, being just slightly bigger than the size of his hands.
Perfect for him to grope.
He brought his hands to them and gave them a firm squeeze.
Nicole moaned.
"S-sorry!" He quickly withdrew them.
"Don't be sorry…" Nicole smiled, her face just as red as his. "I enjoyed that… Please… touch me more… give me your warmth…"
Anton's heart nearly stopped. Never before had he found a girl as attractive as she was right now. Not even his old crush.
"I… need you…" She averted her gaze. "I… want you… I want you… inside of me…"
Nicole herself didn't know exactly why she was… inviting him like this. She was supposed to keep her virginity. It was forbidden for a priestess to sleep with a man in her pilgrimage. Well, it was forbidden for a woman to lay with a man she wasn't married with in the first place.
It was just that… It felt so good being with him like this. His warmth… it gave her the safety and comfort she sought.
She realized it now. She had fallen for him. The way he defended her… comforted her… he had stolen her heart without her noticing.
…This was it. This was who her real self was.
A little girl who wanted someone to lead and guide her through life. Someone to act as an anchor to wipe away her doubts and fears.
That used to be the Church and its teachings. Not anymore.
And now, with his manly scent entering her nostrils, her body began to react with lustful desire. Her nipples hardened, her panties moistened, and her womb throbbed, desiring his long, thick sword inside of it.
She didn't care anymore. She was no longer Nicole Blanchimont the Priestess.
She was merely Nicole, an orphan girl born to a prostitute, abandoned in the steps of an orphanage at one cold morning.
ㅤ
Anton
I cupped her amazing, gorgeous chest, earning another moan from her lips.
I began to play with her nipples with my thumb, admiring her dreamy reaction as she gasped from my touch.
Why? Why would she invite me to do this to her? She's supposed to be a priestess of the Church, a holy woman, who would not allow a man who is not her husband to touch her.
…I see it now. She's… she's lonely, isn't she?
Something happened that day. She received a revelation from the Heavenly Dragon and that revelation shook her to the core. And whatever it was, she couldn't share it with us.
We kept hearing it—her mumblings in her sleep, demanding the Dragon and the Saint to answer her. She no longer prays every night before she sleeps, like she used to.
And we… we can never understand that. All we can do is to be here with her, as her support.
And now… now is my turn to prove my worth. To show that my love for her is the real deal. That I'll follow her until the end of the earth, if need to.
Her entire body shuddered as she climaxed. It was the very first time I saw a girl having an orgasm.
"Anton…" she whispered, smiling "Thank you… for being here… with me…"
"You don't have to thank me. I'm in love with you, remember?" I smiled, somehow getting teary-eyed as well. "If you need a shoulder to cry to, I'm always here for you." I grabbed her hands, clasped them together, and kissed them.
"Anton…" Her voice was weak and hoary. "Why? Why do you love me? I… I am no longer… a priestess of Milicis… I… I cannot worship the Dragon anymore… I am also… a mass murderer… and I… am just… the daughter of a prostitute…"
My heart sank. She began to cry again.
Nonononono!
Quickly, I hugged and kissed her again. It was the only thing I knew that could calm her down.
As our lips touched, I could feel her fingers working on my pants, unbuttoning it before pulling the zipper down. I moved my legs back and forth, helping her to get the brown fabric out of the way.
When our lips separated once more, she whispered this with a shy smile.
"Sleep with me, Anton. As proof of your love for me. I… I want to be one with you. Please…"
I gulped.
There was no way I could refuse.
Thoughts of standing guard outside for any stray monsters slipped away as I fiddled with her dress, taking it completely off her sweet, angelic body. All the while she pulled down my underwear. I reciprocated by kicking off my boots. We couldn't very well do the deed with them still on.
When I finished, there she was, only in her pink, very much soaked, panties.
Blushing, in the most adorable way, she nodded.
I yanked them off in one single move, exposing her glistening womanhood to the world. I then moved my hip forward, aiming the tip of my erect member at her entrance.
I looked at her again. Her gaze was locked on my crotch. Clearly, this was the first time she saw a man's girth.
"Hey… Are you… sure you want me to do this?" I asked her one last time before I did something that I could never take back.
Her only reply was another nod.
In one single move, with my arms wrapped around her body, I thrusted.
"Aaahhh!"
I froze.
Did… did I do that wrong? My member just slid in though! So it shouldn't be painful!
"D-don't stop… Deeper… Push it in… deeper…"
It wasn't a scream of despair.
It was a scream of pleasure.
I thrusted again. And again. And again. Each time eliciting further moans from Nicole.
I too started to make funny groans. I couldn't help it. Her tight cavern was squeezing his member, giving it a massage that, suffice to say, was out of this world. Unlike some, I never masturbated nor did I have wet dreams. In fact, my sex life was completely dry. Unlike many adventurers who frequented brothels after completing a job, I stayed away from it all. Not because of some religious reason like Nicole, but simply because I was not interested. Not after I lost her anyway…
Until now.
“N-Nicole…” My voice shook. My voice was heavy and labored. I was rapidly approaching my limit. “I’m going to—”
“Do it…” she replied, panting as well. “Release it all… your warmth… inside of me…”
Hearing her girlish voice said that, I lost myself.
My member exploded, firing my seed all over her womb. I grunted, my hands moving back to her breasts, cupping them mercilessly.
"Aaaahnnnnn! Anton!"
Nicole screamed my name. I could feel it. She just orgasmed for the second time. Her back was now arching forward as her nails dug into my back.
"...Haa… haa… haa… haa… you're amazing, Anton…" She smiled.
"Haa… haa… haa… you too, Nicole…" I smiled back.
Now what? You just… sleep after you did it?
She gestured to the spot beside her. Just from her eyes I could tell she wanted me to lay down with her.
And so, I moved myself off her, resting my back on the spot. She quickly took the opportunity to rest her head on my chest as she looked up to me, still giving me that angelic smile I so yearned to see again.
"Let us stay like this for a while…" she whispered, her hand rubbing my exposed abs. "I'm… sleepy… I want you to be by my side… to keep… the nightmares… away…"
And just like that, she slumbered, still using my chest as her pillow.
I could only oblige, wrapping my arms around her as I too slowly closed my eyes.
She said she wanted my warmth.
I desired hers as well.
ᅠ
Anne
Are you serious?! They did it now, out of all places?!
When I came back from gathering firewood with Amelie, Anton wasn’t there. Normally, he would be sitting on a rock or something, sharpening his sword or cleaning up his shield. I immediately suspected something was up, so I checked on the tents immediately.
And what did I find? Him sleeping with Nicole. Naked. Both of them.
I nearly had a heart attack right then and there! Quickly, I ran away from the scene of the crime and told Amelie what had just transpired.
“W-what?!” She covered her hands with her mouth as her face went scarlet. “Anton and Nicole?! They finally…”
“Yes! Yes, they did! He finally did it, that bastard!"
I shook my head, a smile adorning my face. To think he, of all people, would be able to do it! And here I was, worried he'd enter his thirties still a virgin!
…
Ugh.
What is this… pang of jealousy I feel? I should be perfectly happy for them, and yet…
…His smile. It entered my mind yet again.
Hugo's smile.
"Aahh, it's not fair!" Amelie proclaimed with a huff. "I want a boyfriend too!"
…When we meet him again, what will I say to him?
Nothing. I'd say nothing. He'll have met that girlfriend of his when we do, I'm sure of it.
You never had a chance, Anne. You never had a chance.
After that, we decided to let them sleep for the night, while we took our turns watching over the camp. The questioning could come tomorrow after all.
I just hope that this doesn’t end up with him leaving our group. Though judging by recent events, I don’t think that will happen. At least not anytime soon.
Yes, we will travel together to meet Hugo. That will take months at best, years at worst.
I’ll just think about it later. No need to worry about it now.
And besides, even if he ends up leaving…
He deserves it. He deserves all the happiness in the world for what he has done to us.
I will not beg him to stay.
ㅤ
Anton
That night, I had a dream.
I saw her, standing on a field of flowers, smiling at me with her hands behind her dress.
My first love, Regina.
We used to be part of the same adventuring party, a long time ago. Back when I was still young and hotheaded, and inexperienced.
I still remember the day we first met. I was just a country bumpkin then, making my way up the world after I ran away from the old man. Didn't want to be a lame farmer. Would much rather be a cool adventurer, so my young self thought.
We met inside an Adventurer's Guild. She was the one to come to me, telling me to join her party. To be honest, I found her quite scary at the time. She was just so… forceful.
Eventually, as the years went by, we added more and more new members to our fold. We each grew, both as a person and an adventurer.
And before I knew it, I had fallen for her.
I never really knew her past. She refused to talk about it. And I, being the wimpy boy that I was, never pressed the issue.
And then, one day, we accepted that quest.
To rescue a village being besieged by a horde of monsters.
It was a terrible job, in all senses of the word. The villagers couldn't afford to pay higher ranking adventurers, resulting in a high danger job with low pay. No sane adventurer would ever take it.
Except for her.
She used to call herself the Adventurer of Justice. I always thought it was a terribly cheesy (and stupid) way to call oneself.
But she wasn't lying. She really would throw herself to the fray to save others, even without payment.
And I admired her for it. Hell, maybe it was yet another reason why I fell for her.
So we followed. And we fought. We fought and fought until we won, and the villagers were safe.
But not without a price.
We messed up. We took a job that was too much for us.
Only I survived.
Only I put the blade inside the head of the last monster.
She, and the others, perished in the fight.
It was then I met her. Anne. A village girl who had lost everything to the attack.
I decided to take her in. Simply because it was what she would've done.
And the rest was history.
"Congratulations, little Anty! You finally find your own girl!" She giggled. Her blonde braided hair was fluttering in the wind. She wore the outfit she wore the day we fought those monsters, that being a white short-sleeved shirt under a leather vest as her top and a simple short leather skirt as her bottom.
"H-huh? This is—"
"It's a dream, silly Anty!" She giggled again. "It's not like I can talk to you from the afterlife!"
Anty was the nickname she gave me. I was kind of a little brother to her, seeing how she was older than me, and more experienced in the matter of adventuring.
She walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. Unlike the old days, I was now taller than her. She could easily rest her head on my chest, if she wanted to.
N-not that she wanted to, of course.
“Now, don’t you mind me, alright?” She grinned. “Don’t let my shadow get in the way of your happiness.”
“W-what? I can never—”
“I’m not asking you to forget, for that is impossible. Not for a kindhearted man such as you. All I ask is for you to move on.”
She was looking straight at me. Her head was angled upwards slightly, compensating for the difference in height, as she gazed into my eyes, unblinking.
Her blue eyes… they had never been this beautiful before…
“That girl… she’s a good fit for you.” She smirked. “You should keep her safe, alright? And make her happy. She’s your responsibility now.”
“Regina… I… I'm sor—"
“Enough of your stuttering.” She pressed a finger to my lips. “And I don't need your apology either. It was my decision. Mine and mine alone. You were against it from the start, no?"
I froze,
She was right. He was against it from the start.
But still, if only he had been stronger…
"Now, time for you to wake up and embrace the new day. She’s waiting for you, you know!"
Still grinning, she waved her hand, as slowly but surely, she grew distant, as if the ground itself was pulling her away
"W-wait! Regina!"
I ran forward and reached his arm to grab her, only for me to miss at the very last moment.
And then, everything turned white.
ᅠ
My eyes fluttered open. The first thing I saw was the ceiling of the tent I was in.
The second was Nicole’s face, as she was hugging me while I slept.
My hand moved on its own to caress her cheek.
It was enough to wake her up.
"Anton…" She smiled. "I… I thank you. For being here, with me…"
"You don't have to thank me, Nicole. It's… it's my pleasure… to be with a woman as amazing as you." I gave her my best smile back.
That dream was right. This is what Regina would have wanted. She wouldn't want me to wallow in loneliness because of her.
To my surprise, however, her smile immediately disappeared. She wrapped her arms even tighter around me, pushing her breasts into my chest.
"I cannot tell you what I saw back then." She averted her gaze. "I suppose you can call it forbidden knowledge. I can't explain it to you without you just… forgetting about it."
She paused for a few moments before continuing.
"Milicis did indeed speak with me. And she entrusted me with a mission. And to do that, I have to meet Hugo again."
"But, after knowing that knowledge… I can no longer in good conscience serve her and the Heavenly Dragon as their priestess. So, from now on, I'll just be an ordinary adventurer. Just like you."
Her eyes… They were full of sadness again.
I can't believe myself. I actually had a thought that she had gone crazy from the incident, the moment she said she heard Milicis talking to her.
No, there's no madness in those eyes. There is only pain and loneliness.
And that… I have to cure.
"And that's fine by me!" I patted her on the shoulder. "Welcome aboard, Nicole, to the Flaming Arrows! Well, if you want to be with us anyway." I chuckled.
Her eyes started to moisten. But it was not tears of sorrow. No, it was tears of happiness.
She nodded. "Thank you. I… don't have anywhere else to go to."
"So, are you still going to fulfill her mission? Meeting up with Hugo and all that?"
She nodded again. "Yes. He… he must be told everything. His destiny…"
I raised my eyebrow. I was about to ask her to elaborate further, but decided not to. It's probably part of that forbidden knowledge thing anyways.
How crazy it is to believe that Milicis and the Heavenly Dragon actually exist. And that they can mess with people's memories like that.
"Good." I rubbed her shoulders back and forth. "Then, let's get dressed up. Let me explain it to the others."
From that morning onward, I decided.
I will protect her until the day I die.