Shadows of Valderia: An Urban Fantasy Detective Noir

The cab ride was terse and uncomfortable. Nairo and Ridley had been jammed between two hulking Goblins who made not even a conciliatory gesture to make room for their guests. All four Goblins wore deeply suspicious frowns and they all stank of smoke for some reason. Despite knowing they could speak Forrest they chose to speak in the guttural Goblin tongue with none too subtle gestures letting them know they were speaking about them. Uncharacteristically, Ridley remained silent and did not try to engage the Goblins. He kept his head down, his face obscured in the shadows of his collars.

“Kidnapping a police officer is a very bad idea,” Nairo had said after ten minutes of this foreboding silence.

The Goblins spoke to each other in Kittei, ignoring her until finally their leader, Rufi, replied.

“Who’s been kidnapped, Detective Sergeant? Far as I know I asked you to get in and you did of your own free will.”

“And if I hadn’t?” Nairo asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

“If I was four foot shorter I’d be a Gnome,” he said with a shrug.

The Goblins around him grunted in amusement and then they all fell silent again.

“Besides,” Rufi continued. “Me and Ridley here go way back. We’re practically mates. Ain’t that right, Ridley?”

Ridley looked up for the first time and gave him a weak smile.

“Yeah course.”

“See, Sarge, you should sit back now and relax.”

Nairo took that as polite villain code for shut your mouth and stop asking questions.

Another twenty minutes passed until they came to a stop. The Goblin next to Nairo poked his head out of the window and growled something. She heard heavy iron gates scrape open and their carriage slowly made its way through. She heard the gates scrape shut with a tone of finality.

“We’re here,” Rufi said with that same charming smile on his face.

The Goblins threw open the carriage door and hopped out, the carriage swaying under their bulk.

“Ladies first,” Rufi said to Nairo.

She frowned at him before stepping out of the carriage. It was dark now but she knew exactly where she was: in the heart of Goblin Town. And something was very wrong. There were Goblins everywhere, which shouldn't have been unusual for that part of town, but these Goblins were armed to the teeth, some were even wearing various bits of battle armour. They scowled ferociously at her, a few readied their weaponry as if waiting for the chance to attack. The smell of smoke was thick in the air, mingled with fear and anger. The heavy wrought iron gates of the square were chained shut with giant metal padlocks and links of iron as thick as her wrist. A makeshift barricade of sharpened stakes had been erected outside the gate, and she saw at least a dozen cross bows set up behind a wall of sandbags. The Goblins were ready for a siege by the looks of it.

Rufi stepped out of the cab after Ridley and stretched his neck. Now that she got a proper look at him, Nairo realised what a physical specimen he was. He towered over her, if she had to guess he was over six and a half feet, and built like an athlete, with a broad chest and thick shoulders which tapered to an elegant waist. He was handsome, for a Goblin, with a shock of dark hair between his long ears and his eyes radiated and alluring self assurance. He had deep emerald green scales which were a rarity among the city’s Goblins: most had dull or dark green scales. Rufi’s had a bright, virile, lustre to them. His scales were complimented by a sumptuous, black, three piece suit, crisp white shirt, complete with a blood red tie, that had a twinkling jade pin in it. But Nairo’s copper instincts cut through all that surface level charm and elegance. She noticed the bulge in his jacket of a hidden hatchet under his right arm. She could tell there was something just off about the way the shoulders of his suit jacket sat, implying he was wearing some sort of armour. And she noticed the various nicks and scratches in his short tusks that told her they weren’t just there for show. But, it was his eyes more than anything. They were the eyes of a true villain. They were the eyes of a creature that could kill and then forget all about it. Nairo looked from Rufi to the last Goblin to exit the carriage. He had been riding with the driver and if Rufi worried her, this one frightened her. He was almost as tall as Rufi but had a wiry build. He had mottled grey scales that reminded her of Benny. The tip of one of his tusks looked like it had been chipped off and was now replaced by a gleaming silver point. His face was flatter and broader. He had a nasty, knotted,scar running horizontally across his cheek under one eye. No blade had done that. Nairo guessed his cheek had been torn open by a tusk or claw. Whereas Rufi’s eyes glittered and promised violence if needed, this Goblin’s eyes were dark black and dead. There was a hunger in those empty eyes, like he was constantly fighting the urge to commit shocking violence. He had a crossbow slung over his shoulders, and nonchalant lean to the way he stood, as if nothing in the world had ever concerned him. He was dressed similarly to Rufi, but nowhere near as elegantly. His suit was a simple grey two piece that was scuffed and creased, as if he had worn it for many days in a row. He wore his white shirt open at the neck and she could see the carvings on his chest peeking through under a thick gold chain which matched with the small gold hoop in his ear. These two were the real deal, the true Goblin Kith she had kept hearing whispers about.

A small rotund HobGoblin broke out from the pack and wrapped Rufi up in a strong embrace. He was the more sandy-orange variety of HobGoblin, short and round, as opposed to tall and wispy like the greener variety. He wore a brown flat cap and matching rough fabriced suit. He spoke very quietly to Ridley, his bulbous, yellow eyes flicking over Ridley and Nairo taking in every detail in just a second. He pulled a little notebook out of his pocket and began rattling off a list in Kittei. Rufi listened and nodded along adding a few things here and there, which the HobGoblin noted down. After their brief exchange he looked at Ridley and Nairo again. He said something and Rufi nodded. He flipped his notebook shut, tucked it back into this jacket and turned to the mob of Goblins, rattling out orders to them.

“And Paulie, don’t let them get into those casks of firerum!” Rufi yelled after the HobGoblin. “Fuck knows I don’t need ‘em pissed and full of blood.” Rufi watched the HobGoblin go about his business before turning to Nairo.

“Welcome to Goblin Town, Sergeant.” Rufi grinned at her and straightened his tie. “If you’d like to follow me.”

Rufi held out his hand and ushered them along the neat white stone pavement. None of the Goblins, other than the grey scaled one, followed. He walked behind Nairo and Ridley, languidly swinging his crossbow without a care in the world. As they walked, they passed more gangs of armed Goblins and more barricades and defences. There wasn’t a single shop open or a creature that wasn’t armed to the tusks in sight. Ridley sidled up to Nairo and muttered to her.

“This is bad.”

“You’re telling me,” she whispered back. “What has happened?”

Ridley shrugged.

“Something’s gone down. Could be that fire the other coppers were racing off to.”

“Maybe. This place looks like it's ready for a war.”

“This is bad,” Ridley repeated. “For Uncle Sam to go to such an outward show of force something’s gone down. Try to say as little as possible and be polite.”

Nairo looked at him with an arched eyebrow but his deathly pale face reinforced the seriousness of their situation. She nodded and then looked up at the building they were approaching. The Goblin Town Hall, the community hub, was the epicentre of all Goblin activity in the entire city. It was a sumptuous white stone building that stood four stories tall and so wide she couldn’t see the ends as they approached. It looked like a miniature version of the Houses of Parliament, but one that had been maintained far better. There were gorgeous carvings of leaves all around the ten foot tall doors and pillars that stood thicker than Nairo was from shoulder to shoulder. Everywhere around the exterior of the building were intricate carvings lending the walls the texture of a mountain face. The white stone was impeccably maintained. There was no smoothing or wearing down of the carvings. There wasn’t a speck of dirt in front of the building or even a splash of pigeon droppings.

Outside the two giant doors stood two equally imposing guards. Both stood at attention in full armour, holding poleaxes twice as tall as Nairo. They acknowledged Rufi’s presence and neatly stepped aside in perfect sync. The entire building seemed to be a massive, cavernous, circular room filled with dozens of worried looking Goblin families. There was no furniture in the hall, everyone sat in their familial circles on the fur covered floor sharing giant platters of stews and soft, doughy, bread. In the centre of the hall was a huge, roaring, fire pit the size of a swimming pool, with a hood above to direct the smoke out of the thick chimney. Meat and vegetables roasted on the pit under the strict supervision of a few burly Goblin men. The walls were adorned with tapestries as long as a street depicting ancient Goblin wars. There were banners draped from every wall covered in the square, blockish, text of Kittei. Children ran around the massive hall in their bare feet, wrestling and playing, while their parents ate and sipped bowls of hot coffee. It was much much cosier and warmer than Nairo had expected from the Goblin tribes. Everything she had ever learned about Goblins depicted them as harsh, sparse, and fierce creatures. In the hall, they looked just like any other community within the city, eating, gossiping, and playing. But there was an edge in the room. She noticed quite a few families had large packs of belongings with them. Some had weapons sheathed, but close to hand. A few of the older Goblins kept shooting furtive glances at the doors as if they expected an attack at any moment. Fear and worry hung as thick as the smell of roasting meats in the air.

Rufi strode across the room smiling, shaking hands, touching his chest, and patting children on the head. He wrestled with a few young children before stopping to have his head patted by an ancient old matron with no teeth. She muttered something to Rufi and he replied in Kittei with a warm smile on his face. The old matron, chuckling, reached up and touched his tusk with a gnarled finger tugging at it gently before giving him a light smack on the cheek. The grey suited Goblin gave a few small nods and touched his chest a few times as he trailed behind them. Nairo and Ridley were not given such a warm welcome. Dark, angry, eyes followed them as they walked behind Rufi. A particularly barrel chested Goblin lurched into their path and scowled ferociously at them, growling in Kittei. The grey suited Goblin with the crossbow stepped silently between Nairo and the irate Goblin. Despite being almost half his size, the barrel chested Goblin faltered in his tirade. The grey suited Goblin stared him down, his knees slightly bent, his head cocked to one side, his expression more curious than affronted. Rufi placed a hand on the barrel chested Goblins’ shoulder and spoke to him reassuringly. The Goblin gesticulated wildly, pointing his clawed digit at Ridley and Nairo like it was a dagger. They exchanged words in Kittei and Rufi raised his hands placatingly and then nodded at a female Goblin who was hovering over the barrel chested Goblin’s shoulder. She wrapped an arm around his chest and pulled him away while he continued to rant.

“Come on,” Rufi said to them, leading them quickly across the hall to a rectangular portal on the other side of the hall.

The Goblin standing at the portal bowed his head to them and then hauled aside the heavy metal grating while Rufi ushered them into the metal box.

“What is this?” Nairo asked as they filed in.

“You never been in a lifter?” Rufi asked.

“A lifter?”

“You’ll see.” Rufi then looked over and shared a smirk with the grey suited Goblin as the metal grating was slammed shut.

After a tremulous second the metal box shifted, wobbled, and then smoothly ascended up. Nairo grabbed the wall in surprise as she felt the floor shift underneath her. Rufi and the other Goblin sniggered while Ridley shook his head at Nairo.

“Be cool, Sarge,” he hissed at her.

“How is it doing that?” Nairo asked, regaining her footing and feeling foolish.

“I dunno. Pulleys or some shit,” Rufi replied. “Beats hoofing it up four flights of stairs.”

“Yeah fuck stairs,” Ridley grumbled, remembering their own ignominous recent history with staircases.

“We need one of these at the precinct,” Nairo said, marvelling at the new experience.

After only a few more seconds the lifter slowed and then gently bumped to a stop. A HobGoblin pulled back the grate and bowed to Rufi. He kept his head down until they had passed.

“Tell Uncle his guests have arrived,” Rufi said, sitting down on one of the small padded chairs, and helping himself to a bowl of sugared almonds on the small side table.

The HobGoblin bowed again and shuffled through the heavy double doors opposite the lifter. The grey suited Goblin took position up outside the lifter, as if to ensure they didn’t try to run. Ridley posted up in a corner, pulled a smoke out, and then after Rufi cleared his throat and shook his head, he made it disappear again. Nairo looked around and tried to get a gauge of their surroundings. Even if they had wanted to run there was no avenue of escape. They were in a windowless antechamber with a few chairs and some more animal rugs strewn across the floor. On one side of the wall there was what looked like a shrine full of wonderfully intricate sculptures of dozens of different Goblins. The models ranged in size from waist high all the way down to a palm’s length. There were tall, rangy Goblins, short and fat ones, muscular, and thin ones. Some were arranged in positions of repose or meditation and others looked to be engaged in the most bloodthirsty of combat. They were all made of the same clay like white stone the Hall had been constructed from. Nairo found herself drawn to them.

“These are beautiful,” she whispered, bending down to get a better look at the smaller pieces.

The grey suited Goblin growled something in Kittei and Rufi gave a short bark of laughter.

“I know you speak Forrest!” Nairo snapped at the Goblin.

His grin never moved an inch.

“I said you might have a thing for green,” the Goblin said.

She scowled at him and then turned to look back at the statues.

“Uncle will see you now,” the HobGoblin announced from the double doors.

Nairo’s scalp had started itching and she felt uncomfortably warm. She didn’t like this. For what seemed like the seventh or eighth time in this case, she was being blindly walked into a corner with no chance of escape by creatures who’d happily slit her throat and dump her body in the tar pits.

“Come Sarge. Best not to keep Uncle Sam waiting,” Rufi said with a wicked glint in his eye.