ALL NOVEL Chapter 172
Judas raised the cup.
‘…I’ll drink it.’
The decision had already been made long ago.
The river that loses precious memories.
Judas felt he could guess what memories would disappear.
Just not with certainty.
However, making Eliya lose her memories, after sacrificing so much already, would be too cruel.
Perhaps, he might forget Eliya.
But still.
Even if that happens.
‘I can remember again.’
Believing that, he gulped down the river.
Gulp, gulp.
The cold water flowed down his throat.
“Phew….”
He emptied the cup.
A cup that fills again if the wrong person drinks.
But the cup was clean.
“…Done. Let’s go.”
Judas lifted Eliya in his arms.
At that moment, Yuel approached.
Had she been hiding? She hadn’t been visible earlier.
“Yuel! What happened to you?!”
Yuel had supported him when he fell from the sun.
He hadn’t thought about it then.
“Why are you here? Don’t tell me… you died too?”
“Caw-caw?”
Yuel didn’t reply to Judas’s questions.
She tilted her head as if not understanding.
“Do you not even know the concept of death?”
“Caw?”
Judas mumbled while patting Yuel, who was innocently tilting her head.
“Hmmm… I hope nothing’s happening outside…?”
Unaware of Judas’s concerns, Yuel poked at Eliya and him with her horn.
“Alright, I get it. First, let’s get out of here.”
Judas placed Eliya on top, then climbed onto Yuel himself.
He let Eliya lean against him.
“…But where are we going? Yuel, do you know the way?”
Yuel just stared blankly around.
“How did she even get here…?”
Then, in the distance, a white dot flickered.
It was the same phenomenon that appeared when Judas first arrived here.
“Yuel, let’s follow that.”
Yuel moved with quick steps.
The scenery of the afterlife rushed by.
Just like when he chased Balak, the white dot led them somewhere while maintaining a precarious distance.
And they arrived at a foggy ferry terminal.
The place where they entered the afterlife.
Judas now faced the white dot up close.
“Her name was Maria… wasn’t it?”
She was the one who guided Eliya and helped him catch Narcissi when they ascended to the Black Sun.
Eliya’s biological mother.
Maria smiled gently as she looked at Judas.
“Yes. It’s the first time we’re meeting by your real name.”
“Were you the one who led me… right?”
“Yep. You are the only one who can save Eliya. I really appreciate you for that.”
“Don’t mention it… I owe it to you for guiding me.”
As Maria approached, Judas got off Yuel.
He held Eliya in his arms as well.
Maria walked closer, smoothing Eliya’s hair and smiling.
“My beautiful daughter. Now, it’s truly time to say goodbye.”
Maria was smiling, but infinite tears were flowing down her face.
Judas couldn’t even begin to imagine how she felt.
How had she spent her time hiding her true identity beside Eliya?
“…Long goodbyes only lead to more lingering feelings. Eliya should not be here, so she mustn’t be held onto for too long. I’ll send her off soon.”
Judas silently watched as Maria whispered through her tears.
Black hair. Black eyes.
He hadn’t noticed when Eliya had red hair.
At that time, her makeup had been particularly heavy.
But seeing her like this, she resembled Eliya a lot.
Maria cupped Eliya’s face in her hands, whispering as she pressed their foreheads together.
“You weren’t born wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong. You deserve to be loved. Leave the guilt that you mistook for a sin behind here. You should just be happy.”
With a kiss on her daughter’s forehead, Maria said her final goodbye.
“I love you, Eli. When you return far in the future, I’ll tell you again. Even if I become a dead person, I will never forget you.”
Maria spoke with a trembling voice, filled with certainty.
“Because, I am your mother.”
It was time to go now.
…Then, Judas suddenly remembered.
In worrying about his memories after saving Eliya, he had forgotten to mention something.
“Ah. I’m sorry for saying this a bit late.”
“Hmm?”
“We need to go together.”
“What do you mean…? Me? I’m… dead…?”
“No. It’s hard to explain in detail, but anyway, you’re not. You’ll be able to return.”
Judas embraced Eliya and boarded the ferry.
It had been spacious before, but with Yuel onboard, it was cramped.
“It’s a bit tight, but hurry up and get in.”
“Is this really okay…?”
“I’ve spoken with the god.”
“Hmm…?”
So he had spoken with a god.
That was a hard comment to understand in many ways.
Moreover, how could he treat the god like a local merchant…
Maria looked perplexed but stepped onto the ferry.
Once Maria joined, Yuel’s hips and sides jutted out of the narrow boat.
Judas patted Yuel and chuckled.
“Let’s set off.”
He placed the empty cup at the bow.
It was where the cup originally sat.
The ferry moved on its own.
They moved away from the fog-filled terminal, advancing into the void outside the afterlife.
Maria looked down at her hands, then around at the scenery.
Ordinarily, anyone unauthorized trying to leave the afterlife would gradually become transparent and return to their original place.
“Really… can she come back to life?”
“Probably.”
The ferry sped along as fast as it had come.
After a while of silence, Maria cautiously spoke.
“Um, next time, please let me know a little earlier… It’s embarrassing…”
“…Ah. I’m sorry.”
“Ah, no. There’s no need to apologize.”
Afterward, both of them spent an awkward time squeezed in with Yuel.
The first to break the silence was Maria.
“Thank you for saving Eliya.”
“Not at all. It’s what I had to do.”
“Still, you know. I wonder if it’s something the mom should have done instead… I feel so sorry to both you and Eliya.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me…”
Judas scratched the back of his neck, feeling awkward.
Maria gazed at him and smiled faintly.
She struck him as unfamiliar yet remarkable.
Among those close to him, no one was as vulnerable as Maria.
Eliya was a genius-level disaster of a wizard, after all.
The Knights like the guards or Gawain were extraordinary warriors beyond the norm.
The enemies he had fought so far were all superhumans.
Like Balak, Cain, or Emperor Johan.
All were extraordinary individuals with immense power.
Except for Maria.
She was a pure, ordinary person with no strength or connections.
Judas was simply special enough to have many extraordinary people around him.
In reality, the overwhelming majority of the world is composed of ordinary individuals like Maria.
It could not be said that Maria had done well by hiding the truth from Eliya.
Was there even another choice for her?
With her existence itself being Eliya’s weakness, she disguised her death, and having built up too many lies, was it possible for her to make a more rational choice without fearing the wounds Eliya would suffer when the truth was revealed?
Judas didn’t know.
He just felt sympathy.
For both Maria and Eliya, who was at the center of this tragedy.
“There’s no need for self-blame.”
“Hmm?”
“Many people may not want to accept it, but in life, you will inevitably face situations beyond your control. Whether you like it or not. It will come around at least once.”
His gaze, looking at the distant universe, was tinged with bitterness.
It reminded him of his previous life, where he had achieved and changed nothing.
“For you, the wall of that inevitable situation was simply taller and thicker than others.”
“…Thank you for saying that. But still, I can’t be forgiven for such reasons.”
“Well… I think it’s a matter for the lady to decide.”
The most wounded person was Eliya.
Thus, it was up to Eliya to decide whether to forgive Maria or not.
Not Maria herself.
“…That’s true. Unlike me, Eliya has good taste in men, thankfully.”
“……”
Judas felt awkward as Maria smiled.
“Did you know? Your way of speaking is so much like Eliya’s.”
“R-Really?”
Judas flushed and cleared his throat.
Maria smiled contentedly at him.
“You weren’t before, but at some point, you started to resemble her, and now it’s identical. If your voices were the same, I might not be able to tell you apart.”
“Hmmm…”
“I don’t know if I have the right to say this now, but I can leave Eliya in your care without worry.”
“…That’s a nice and happy thing to say, but that’s only if my memories are intact.”
“What do you mean…?”
Judas briefly explained.
About the water he drank earlier.
In exchange for taking Eliya, someone had to pay for memories, and he had paid that price.
That was a condition set from the start.
“I see….”
“Please don’t apologize again. I decided to do that.”
Maria hit the nail on the head.
In the end, she had nothing to say to him, who had sacrificed even his memories for his daughter.
After that, a quiet silence fell.
The ferry drifted through the cosmos.
Judas kept Eliya’s image in his mind.
He had saved Eliya.
Now they were returning.
And soon, he would lose his memories.
What would he lose, and how much?
He would gladly part with anything, but he hoped with all his heart not to forget Eliya.
Judas held the sleeping Eliya close, wishing for that.
“I’ll see you later, my lady.”
*
“…Huh?!”
Eliya gasped and quickly sat up.
“My lady?!”
Someone cried out with a shrill voice.
The woman sitting beside her had a familiar face.
Mei.
The mansion’s healer.
“My lady! Are you okay?!”
Mei exclaimed, flustered.
Eliya was gasping for breath as she looked down at her hands.
Fair and delicate hands.
She squeezed and opened her fist.
The sensation was clear.
“I…”
She had definitely died.
She had perished with the Evil God of Emptiness.
And afterward…
“Ugh-!”
“My lady!”
In that moment, seizing her head and staggering.
Eliya recalled everything.
The Black Sun. Judas. Maria.
The memories from the afterlife remained in her head.
Not perfect, but the essentials were clear.
Judas had saved her.
Eliya shot up from the bed.
Right before her, there was a crystal ice encapsulating Maria.
It was just as she looked before disappearing.
In the afterlife, surely, her mother…
“My lady, please lie down! You need to rest now!”
“Judas.”
“Yes, yes?”
“Where is Judas?”
“Um…”
Eliya touched her right hand.
The ivory ring.
The artifact she shared with Judas.
She signaled to him.
No response.
Even more troubling was the fact that Judas’s location…
“…?”
Was right next to her.
The necklace she had given him was on the table by the bed.
Eliya pressed on Mei again.
“Where is Judas?!”
“Well, um…”
Mei hesitated, then cautiously opened her mouth.