The not-immortal Blacksmith

“Hey guys! Did you hear the Lich King got reelected for the 47th time?” Pendleton asked as he walked into the gaming room under the barn.

Maximilian “Mil” god of war, looked up from reviewing his freshly updated character sheet, “Really? 47 out of 53 elections. Didn’t he have his name permanently removed from the ballot a few hundred years ago?”

“Yup,” Pendleton answered, “But they allow ‘write in’ candidates, so he still wins by a landslide.”

“It’s amazing that he hasn’t just run away.” Mil said.

“Naw. He thinks of it as his civil responsibility, and has the intestinal fortitude to stand up and do it correctly.” Pendleton smiled, “So where are Sarah and Ghondish?”

“Beer and snack run, they should be back in about twenty or so.” Kocha said as he walked in, “Mil, you read to face the HOA about working on your car in the driveway?”

“Utter bullshit!” Mil replied, face starting to turn red, “There was nothing of the sort going on. Ice was taking pictures of the kids climbing in and out of the engine for the interweb thing she does.”

“Ice? New pet name for the live-in girlfriend?” Kocha smirked.

“Shut up Kocha.” Mil hissed. “Maybe your character should find some romance.”

Kocha chuckled at his friend, “Nope! Plenty of gals at the bar like this guy. I don’t need a ball and chain holding me back from my MeBolt career!”

“I still can’t believe you changed classes in the middle of the campaign.” Pendleton said.

“Not so much a class change, as adding a ‘Prestige Class’.” Kocha replied, “Just added benefits without the extra fuss. With my ‘Arcane’ skill giving me such a boost to the computer proficiency, it was just a matter of time before I took a new tech career. And having a good charisma score, I get lots more viewers every day. Soon I will be an ‘Influencer’!”

“Influence this!” Mil said, making a rude gesture.

-

“So, Mil, how do you respond to the HOA board?” Ghondish asked.

“I stand up from my chair, hold up the date stamped pictures Ice took of the kids, and say, ‘Your accusations are unfounded. Here is photographic evidence of what was happening on the day in question.’ Do you want me to roll a persuasion check?” Mil replied.

Ghondish nodded, “Sure, but roll at advantage.”

Dice clattered across the gaming table, “A 12 and a 17. So, a 22 total.” Mil said.

Gnondish smiled again, “Okay. The board has heard your arguments, and says they will revoke the fines. Well done.”

“What would have happened if I had botched the roll?” Mil asked.

“As long as you got a total over 10 you would have won. A failure would have meant a recess, after which you would have had to make your case again, without advantage and with a higher DC.” Ghondish took a drink of his Mt Doom soda, “If that failed you would have needed to take it to court.”

Pendleton and Sarah snorted, “Last time you went to court, didn’t you get thirty days of community service?” they blurted out together.

“Yeah, well that guy deserved to get punched.” Mil retorted.

“Because we all know that I can’t take care of myself.” Sarah said.

Mil laughed, “Hey, if I had realized he was talking to you and not me, I would have just laughed at him instead. As I was getting out from between the two of you.”

“Okay Penpen, your job at the Law Office of Green and Gray seems to have decided to keep you, as they have invited you to the company party this Friday night.” Ghondish said, “What are you going to do?”

“What?!? But I have a date with that cute guy… What was his name?” Pendleton said, looking through his notes, “Oh, Don. Don works at the MegaMega, right?”

“Yes, he does. What does that have to do with anything?” Ghondish asked.

Pendleton frowned, “Well, I was thinking I could bring him as my ‘plus one’ to the party.”

“Well, the invitation doesn’t say anything about a plus one, but make me an insight check.” Ghondish replied.

A die bounced across the table, then bounced off of the H&H GM screen, and rolled to a stop, showing a 20. “Nat 20! Insight is a class skill, so 26.” A very happy Pendleton said.

“Then you know that several people at the office are planning to bring their significant others or dates, so you think your plan is sound.” Ghondish said.

“Good to know.”

-

Two hours later…

“Alright, your date, Dale, has stalked off the restroom.” Ghondish states. “What are you going to do?”

“For starters I give that bitch, Nancy, the stink eye.” Pendleton snarled. “Then I head across the room, and start the rumor that she is a furry in her spare time.”

The rest of the table gasps. “You… you wouldn’t!” Sarah says, eyes gone wide. “All she did was spill a little wine on him!”

“Yes I would. Well, my character would.” Pendleton said. “I would just laugh it off, and go help him. But Nancy. Nancy is a different story. She did that deliberately. My character wouldn’t take that lying down!”

Kocha, recovered from his surprise, looked at Pendelton, “Didn’t you promise her that you wouldn’t tell anyone about her secret?”

“She’s the one who ruined my chance for romance.” Replied Pendleton. “For that she deserves the revenge.”

“Break it up everyone.” Ghondish said over the noise. “So, how do you do this?”

“I walk over to Joan from accounting, who you will remember is the biggest gossip in the office, and slip her a copy of the photo I took of Nancy at that furry convention.”

“Okay, I know you printed it off a while ago. She looks at it,” Ghondish replied. “and giggles. She then looks over at you and asks ‘Where did you get this?’”

“I reply ‘On the interweb. I was looking through memes and saw this.’ Then I give her my best ‘Innocent Smile’. Do I need to make a roll.”

Ghondish thinks for a moment, “Well, she isn’t drunk enough yet to just take it at face value, but you can roll at double advantage.”

Dice are rolled. “I got a 1, a 2, and a 19!” Pendleton smirked. “That would be a 15!”

“Alright. She swallows it hook, line and sinker.” Ghondish said. “She heads off to tell all of her friends. By the time Dale comes back from the restroom, it seems that the whole office is giving Nancy ‘looks’.”

Pendleton nodded, “Good. I will take Dale around to say goodbye to people, then we will head out.”

“Okay. Well done everyone!” Ghondish said. “Let me calculate the experience points for the session, and we will be done.”