The Privateer

Pixenoid synthetics had not been seen in the Confederation for hundreds of years. The Xyx had built some, and the revolt of their sapient machines had cost billions of lives and ended in the total destruction of their species. Much like humans, pixenoid machines enjoyed an infamous place in Confederation serials. Especially horror. They were portrayed as cold, evil, and Fucking Dangerous.

Space Captain, Yvian's favorite show, had featured a pixenoid synthetic exactly once. The Metal Massacre had been so powerful and dangerous that Space Captain had had no choice but to join forces with Lord Evil himself to defeat it. The story arc had taken three whole episodes, and Space Captain's trusty sidekick, Space Cadet, died in the fight.

Yvian figured that seeing Kilroy in the metal flesh would be much like meeting Lord Evil in person. A mix of shock, surreal wonder, and extreme fear. The Agent, pale as he was, reacted with admirable calm and very professional violence. Not that it would do him any good.

The Agent snapped three shots from his blaster in under a second. Two to center mass, and one that struck the Peacekeeper in one of his red, glowing eyes. He didn't get the chance to pull the trigger a fourth time. Kilroy moved faster than Yvian could see. A loud crack sounded through the interrogation room. The Agent fell. Most of his head was gone. Blood and gore and brain matter splattered the bulkhead behind his falling body.

The Peacekeeper held his bloody fist away from himself. Gore removed itself from his hand, his suit, and his face, dropping to the deck. Clean again, the machine strode quickly to stand behind Yvian's chair. He tapped into the console in the back of it, and the chair's manacles released Yvian's limbs.

"Thanks, Kilroy," said Yvian. "How long-" She was interrupted by the shriek of tearing metal. A deep coughing roar followed, vibrating her chair and sending shocks of adrenaline up and down her legs. Her body seized at the sound, freezing in place as her heart pounded. After the sound faded, it took another few seconds for Yvian to regain control of her body. When she did, she immediately cradled her head in her hands. She'd had a headache when she woke, but now...

"Five hours, twenty three minutes," the Peacekeeper told her. He withdrew a device from his suit and pressed it into Yvian's neck. She heard a hiss, and felt sweet relief spreading through her bloodstream. Another few seconds, and her pain was gone.

"Thank you," Yvian said again. She picked up the fallen Agent's gun and pointed it at a bulkhead. She pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. Must be DNA locked. She dropped it. "What took you so long, anyway?"

"This unit arrived at precisely the correct time," Kilroy assured her. He turned and walked out of the room. Yvian followed, trying to resist the urge to rub her backside. That chair had not been comfortable.

She found herself in a corridor. To her right was a cargo bay, littered with bodies in power armor. She was on a ship, then. Probably a frigate, judging by the size of the bay. Doors lined the corridor. One of the other doors had been torn open. Scarrend Scathach was in the process of stepping back through it.

"Because I pledged my life to you," the Vrrl was saying. His upper set of arms held what appeared to be a severed Brilend leg. His lower set of arms each held a heavy blaster of Vrrl design. His helmet was open, and his muzzle was bloody.

"And I turned you down," Captain Mims reminded him as he stepped into the corridor. He was wearing black shorts and a tank top. "We're already being paid, and I don't need a giant murdercat following me around for life."

"I pledged it all the same," said the giant murdercat. He took a bite of the leg. "Besides, this was something I had to see for myself." Scarrend chuckled. "The great Kinslayer, most infamous of all Scargivers, captured by mere Brilends." He chuckled. "This will make for a most amusing report."

"I'm glad your entertained," said the human, "but you're missing the point. If you're here, and Kilroy's here, then who's guarding the Encounter?"

"Two Peacekeeper Units are at the Random Encounter," Kilroy told him. "We waited until one of the Haulgoods could dock and provide reinforcements before initiating rescue operations."

"Ok, good." Mims nodded. "I guess that's why it took..." He did a doubletake when his eyes fell on Yvian. "Why are you naked?"

Yvian blinked. "What?"

"You're naked," the Captain repeated. "Why?"

Yvian shrugged. "They took my armor."

"And you weren't wearing anything under it?"

"Why would I?"

Mims shook his head.

Kilroy spoke. "Meatbags secured. Lissa Kiver is behind that door." He pointed, then turned to the Vrrl. "Will Scarrend Scathach maintain security?"

"I will stay and guard our crew," Scarrend agreed.

"Affirmative." Kilroy's eyes were still red. "Then this unit will eliminate the remaining hostiles." The Peacekeeper disappeared in a blur, moving at a third of the speed of sound.

"It is fortunate Peacekeepers are not organic," Scarrend mused.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Yvian asked. She wandered over to the door Kilroy had pointed at.

"They can't be eaten, and they do not eat," the Vrrl explained. "They are not part of the cycle of predator and prey."

"So they're not a threat to your place on the index," Mims surmised.

"Correct." Scarrend took another bite out of the leg he was holding.

"Scarrend," Mims eyed the Vrrl. "I won't stop you eating enemies killed in combat, but you won't do it in front of us. Put that away somewhere."

"It's better when it's fresh," Scarrend argued.

"I don't care," said the human. "Put it away."

Scarrend growled. The human's eyes narrowed. they stared at each other for a few seconds, then the Vrrl looked away. He tossed the leg into the room with the torn down door. He muttered something under his breath about humans.

"What was that?" The Captain's voice was dangerously low.

"Nothing," said the giant murdercat.

Yvian examined the control panel for the door. It didn't seem to be locked. She reached up to press a button, then frowned as she glanced behind her. "Mims?"

"Yeah?"

She gave him a look. "You're staring."

The human jerked his gaze away. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Yvian used the control panel to open the door. It was another room with a small table. Lissa was inside, manacled to an interrogation chair. She was wearing pink shorts and a black tank top that had once belonged to the Captain. "It's about..." she started to say, then stopped. Her eyes widened with concern. "Why are you naked?"

"She wasn't wearing anything under her voidarmor," Mims reported.

Lissa gave an exasperated sigh. "Really, Yvian?"

"What?" Yvian moved to the control panel at the back of Lissa's chair.

"Humans aren't as casual about nudity as we are," Lissa reminded her. "Look at Mark." She pointed at him. "Look at him. He's trying not to stare."

"I'm fine," the Captain sounded annoyed. Yvian noticed he was pointedly not looking in her direction.

"You know, he's technically pixen now," Yvian told Lissa. "He should probably get used to this sort of thing anyway." She fiddled with the controls, and the chair released her sister.

"I said I'm fine." The Captain sounded more annoyed. Yvian caught him glancing at her hindquarters.

"Yvian?" Lissa raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying you want to get your sister's boyfriend used to seeing you naked?"

Yvian hadn't thought of it that way. "Uh..." She thought as fast as she could. Lissa had been jealous of Yvian and Mims before. It wasn't rational. Yvian wasn't attracted to men. Then again, Yvian's lack of interest didn't mean Mims wasn't attracted. Shit. Maybe it was rational. Shit! Crunch take it, why did she never think these things through? "I mean..."

"If you're really worried about it," the human stepped in, "you could always make Yvian wear your clothes."

"Wear my..." Lissa's surprise gave way to a sly gleam. "Are you trying to get me naked?"

"That would be unprofessional," said the Captain. A slight smile curved up one lip. "I'm just saying, if one of you has to be naked, you know who gets my vote."

"By the Empire," Scarrend interrupted. "Why are you three so focused on clothing? Are we not on a mission?"

"It's complicated," said the Captain. "Tell me, does nudity arouse your mating instincts?"

"What? Why would it?" Scarrend's brow furrowed. "Our reproductive urges are only triggered in the presence of a female, and only during her mating cycle."

"Right." Mims nodded. "Humans and pixens are different. Our reproductive urges are active at all times. Nudity is one of the things that stimulates them."

Scarrend's frown deepened. "All times? Your mating cycle is constant?"

The human shrugged. "Pretty much."

"That sounds..." the Vrrl shook his head in disgust. "Distracting."

"It really is."

Scarrend tilted his head. A faint voice could be heard emanating from his helmet. The Vrrl answered. "Kilroy, this is Scarrend. Go ahead." The voice came again. Scarrend nodded. "Understood." He addressed the Captain. "Kilroy says the ship is secure. Danil Starlance and his family are in the brig just down this corridor. No guards."

"Good. We'll check on them once we retrieve our gear." The Captain scratched his head. "I don't suppose you know where our gear is, by the way?"

"You can't smell your way to it?" the Vrrl asked in surprise.

"No." Mims let out a tired breath that was not quite a sigh. "Humans can't do that."

Scarrend snorted. "Of course. I keep forgetting how inferior your senses are. This way." The Vrrl led them down the corridor. They passed the occasional body as they traversed the ship. Kilroy had been busy.

"Hey," Yvian wondered. "The Vrrl don't care about nudity, right?"

"We don't," Scarrend confirmed.

"Then why do you wear clothes?"

"Pockets."

As they passed the brig, Mims stopped. He played with the control panel until an image of the interior appeared. "Looks like Danil's alright. His family's in there with him."

"I still can't believe he betrayed us," Lissa remarked as they walked.

"Don't be too hard on him," said Mims. "They had his family. You'd be surprised what a man will do to keep his children alive."

"I'm just glad he wasn't implanted," said Yvian. Slave implants would have made the reporter do whatever the Agents wanted. A worry wormed it's way into her brain. "I mean, he wasn't? Right?"

"Probably not." Mims shook his head. "The AI that slave implants use isn't good at simulating a personality. We would have noticed something was off."

Scarrend led them to the medical bay. It was a large room, with three Oluken med pods and two larger, uglier pods that were used to insert slave implants. Yvian grimaced at the sight. Half a dozen dead technicians littered the deck, surrounding a set of tables that housed the crew's weapons and armor.

Mims glanced over several times as Yvian got dressed. Yvian was starting to wonder if maybe she should wear clothes under her armor after all. Lissa noticed him noticing, but said nothing. Yvian hoped it wasn't something the couple would fight about later.

Kilroy joined them as Yvian finished strapping on her weapons. His suit was as clean and immaculate as always. "This unit has contacted units 867789455 and 990134132. They will take the Random Encounter back to New Pixa Sector."

"Right." Mims nodded. "This is a special operations vessel. Means it has a jumpdrive and we can't leave it here."

"Affirmative."

"Can you program the coordinates to Scoland Sector? We need to get Danil and his family to Kilgor Station."

"Affirmative."

"Alright." Mims donned his helmet. "While you do that, we'll go meet with the Starlancers. Scarrend, I'm gonna need you to stay out of sight. I don't want our reporter friend knowing we're here with a Vrrl and a Peacekeeper."

Scarrend grunted. "I have a meal to finish, anyway." Yvian resisted the urge to shudder.

Mims, Yvian and Lissa made their way to the brig. They found Danil Starlancer in a cell, with his family in the cell next to him. Danil was a little more haggard than the last time Yvian had seem him, but otherwise looked the same. Pale grey skin, short dark hair, slim and fit in a dark blue voidsuit. His wife was pretty enough that Yvian had to force herself not to stare. Her hair was long, dark, and shiny, reaching down to the waist of a green voidsuit that fitted it's form to some very intriguing curves. There were two children, a nine year old female and a six year old male. They all looked scared, and tired, but otherwise unharmed.

Danil stood when they entered. His defiant expression changed to horror when he saw who had come to visit. "Oh. Oh gods. Mims..."

The Captain said nothing. He strode silently up to the control panel for the reporter's cell. Despite his earlier admonition to take it easy on the reporter, the human radiated cold anger as he moved.

"Oh gods. Please Mims, you have to understand! I had no choice." The fear in Danil's voice escalated as the human examined a control panel across from his cell. "They were going to kill my family!"

Mims found the right combination of buttons. The door to Danil's cell opened. The increasingly desperate Brilend raised his hands in a placating gesture as the human approached. "Please, Mims! You have to..."

The Captain buried his fist in the reporter's gut. Danil doubled over, coughing.

"Danil!" Mrs. Starlancer cried out. Crunch. Her voice was pretty too. Maybe Mims had been right, earlier. Maybe Yvian really did need to get out, more.

Mims stared coldly at the man. "I'm charging you an additional five hundred credits." He turned and walked back to the control panel.

Danil raised himself back up. He stared at the human in confusion. "You mean..."

"I mean you owe me an additional five hundred credits," said Mims. He tapped the console again, and the bars slid away from the cell holding Danil's family. "I'm not locking you in, but you should stay here til we get the ship cleaned up. There are things children shouldn't see."

Yvian was glad she was still wearing her helmet. She'd been startled when the human punched Danil. Now that she understood what he was doing, she doubted she could control her smile. Humans were hated and feared, and Captain Madlad Mims was the most feared member of his species. His reputation, and his typical response to betrayal, were something Danil Starlancer knew quite well. The Brilend would be expecting retribution. Horrible retribution. At the very least, he'd expect the human would kill him and his family.

Mims wasn't really mad at Danil. He was trying to reassure him. He'd hit the man and charged him money, and now he was showing the Brilend he considered the matter closed. Now Danil wouldn't have to be afraid. Yvian repressed a giggle. It was almost sweet, in a human sort of way. Mims was showing kindness the only way he knew how. By being a dick.

"You mean your still..." the Brilend swallowed. "You'll still get us out?"

"I've never failed a contract," the human reminded him.

"Of course," said the reporter. He still looked nervous. "And when the contract's complete?"

"Then you'll pay me an additional five hundred credits," the Captain repeated himself again. "Seriously, Danil. This is not a complicated thing." He started to leave, then stopped. "Stay here. It'll take us a while to clean up the..." He tilted his head at the children. "...mess. In the meantime, Yvian will bring you some food and whatever else you need."

"Yeah." Yvian took her cue. "Right. I'll be right back with some food." Mims was already out the door. She hustled to follow him.

Yvian spared one last look back as she walked out of the brig. Danil was hugging his family. Tears of relief flowed. Yvian's smile faltered. She wondered how relieved they'd feel, if they knew what monsters had really done the rescuing, here. She wondered what they'd say about the Peacekeeper who'd massacred the ship's crew in barely in a minute. Or the three eyed predator, eating their fellow Brilends just a few doors down the hall.