Chapter 108: Internal Debate
Estelle finally realized what her mother and Lylia meant when they said she looked like the 'Moon Goddess' the elven people had. It was because the Goddess they were talking about really was Goddess Estraea in her trips down to the mortal world.
The Goddess, with her free spirit, liked to visit the world she had created. And with it, she would encounter sticky situations that needed her aid. Naturally the Goddess would happily extend her helping hand.
After seeing the memories, too, she was able to confirm that her current appearance was indeed similar to Goddess Estraea's.
Estelle wanted to take a chance with this. If Heine was truly intoxicated with the Goddess, then she would just play out the role until she gains the upper hand.
It was time to roleplay as the Goddess.
"Astarte. My dear brother, please listen to me," Estelle pleaded, hoping that the trick would work.
How else could she save herself from this predicament?
Estelle saw Heine's eyes visibly widen as his entire body trembled. He looked shocked and in disbelief even though his original plans were meant to give him this result.
[Is it working?] Estelle worried.
She maintained her appearance, trying to keep it as similar to the original Goddess as possible.
The return of Estraea, the Goddess of Creation.
Obviously, that wasn't the case here. All that's here was someone who managed to possess a hefty amount of memories, enough to create a script that paved her way.
Estelle had a naturally similar appearance to Goddess Estraea. Added in with her seemingly 'recovered' memories, Heine was led to believe that the miracle he had longed so hard for to happen had finally arrived.
His heart was thumping wildly as his eyes scanned Estelle over and over again just to clarify that she wasn't just a figment of his imagination.
"Big sister.. My big sister Rae.." Heine shakily went up to Estelle's side and embraced her tightly.
His speech was filled with stutters. He had wished for this moment to happen for so long.
Now that it actually became reality, Heine was at a loss on what to do next.
Indeed, he had successfully obtained his sister back. Now, what should he do?
However, he chose to savor the current moment above everything else. He wanted to take in all the rumbling emotions that overflowed after knowing that Estraea had came back to his side.
"I missed you.. I missed you so much, please don't leave me anymore.." Heine continued crying, sobbing here and there. He couldn't form a concrete speech as he let out his pent up feelings in one go.
In his arms, Estelle could do nothing but gently comfort the man she was now confused about. She stroked his back and patted him in an attempt to calm down the man.
However, internally, negative thoughts began to sprout.
She wasn't someone you could step over, apologize for, and 'everything will return to normal' type of person.
Estelle was now heavily considering her choices. What she could do from now on.
For now, she had to play the role. But she also had to plan out her next action. The first step to attaining success: gaining Heine's trust.
No matter how hard it was.
After a few minutes, Heine's cries finally died down. It took a lot for him to gain control over his raging emotions, but he had set priorities. It was only because thousands of years was on the line.
Now that his sister was back, there were many other duties he had to perform.
He hadn't expected the end result to be this peaceful. He was fully prepared to sacrifice both of them in case something bad happened. It didn't matter to him as long as they would end up together in the end.
Heine looked at Estelle's innocent face with great delight. He found his sister's figure overlapping with the girl. Like Goddess Estraea was really there. The original person.
He stretched out his arm to caress her face, treating her like he would treat his beloved sister.
However, in the next second, something awful attacked him from the inside.
An unbearable pain started going mad inside his body. He hurriedly covered the painful parts in an attempt to console the places, but the pain soon spread out to other places. Soon, his entire body was in pain.
"Urk!" Heine grunted, his arms rapidly covering his face and shying away from Estelle's sight.
There was on distinctive attribute that would appear every time the pain struck. And it was something Heine didn't want to show Estelle. Never ever.
Estelle was surprised by this sudden development. Did Heine have an underlying sickness she never knew of?
It was convenient because she was playing the role of Goddess Estraea. In such a situation, the Goddess will definitely worry hard over her brother's condition. Thus, Estelle grabbed the man's arms and started asking him how was he doing.
Her intentions were not at all pure and great. Although she did have a trace of sympathy and anguish over seeing her former colleague in pain like this, the sight would cause her to recall the time she spent inside Eterna and the space she was sent into just now.
The pain she felt affected her even until now.
She couldn't fully care about Heine. Her mind was whispering to her, saying that Heine deserved the suffering he was facing right now because it was his consequence.
Nonetheless, Estelle continued 'caring' for her 'brother', shouting Astarte's name over and over again.
A deranged question flew over her head. She wondered to what extent Heine could go for her.
After all, she was currently the supposed Goddess Estraea that has been revived. Realistically speaking, a few discrepancies in her actions and habits would be left as not suspicious because of all the things they had been through.
Everyone was twisted in their own ways.
Estelle wondered. Should she play her cards right, wouldn't she be able to manipulate the man to her advantage?
It was a likely probability considering how far the man went for a goal that didn't even guarantee a perfect success.
After a couple minutes passed, Heine was back, but not yet to normal. His breath was unstable and you could see faint outlines of black marks covering his face. It was ominous and unsettling.
Not only on his face, the black marks also stretched down to cover his body and particularly crowded over his neck area.
Estelle observed the marks with great caution, a tinge of discomfort arising in her heart as she visibly saw the marks move. It wiggled and squirmed like snakes, giving a sense of feeling that it was alive, crawling inside Heine's skin.
She had the instinctive desire to touch the marks, to know what it was like.
Without realizing, her fingertips had landed on the marks and was stroking Heine's skin. She noticed one thing.
The marks followed her fingertips. They would swirl and spin around her fingers' movements. And with every movement, Heine would subsequently scream and choke.
The marks' movements certainly brought pain to Heine.
Estelle's movements stopped. She had an internal debate on what she could do from now on. The pain Heine felt seemed lethal. He was now biting his lips to the pain where he bled. His eyes bulged as he rampaged around, trying to shrug Estelle's hand away.
However, Estelle refused to budge. She gulped a mouthful of saliva, nervousness covering her entire being.
[Kill.]
[Kill.]
[Kill.]
That it would be easy to take the man's life now that she knew his conditions. That things were now in her favor.
Her morals were struggling as she knew that three separate entities that laid inside Heine's self was what caused him to feel anguish.
His actions couldn't be defended, but there was a heavy consideration over the matter. What if he could be reverted to his normal state?
[Even so, kill.]
[Kill him right now.]
Dark thoughts covered her sense of justice. She wanted to throw away all sides of fairness as she felt like she had suffered far too much. Shouldn't she receive amends?
In the form of Heine's life?
Not to mention the pain he was in right now, she also gained a new form of power. The True Creation Magic. She felt like it was certainly going to plague his condition even further.
And that brought her a sense of delirious thoughts. Her mouth was dry as she held back the enticing thoughts that was constantly provoking her to do the deed.
[It's going to be easy, why don't I kill him?]
[One more death count means nothing.]
[Come on..]
Estelle stabbed her fingers into her palm, digging into the skin and drawing blood out. Estelle forced herself to regulate her breathing pattern in order to not make the irreversible mistake.
[Would it really be a mistake?]
[The only mistake here is this disgusting Fae that dares to harm you.]
[Don't you want revenge? This is your best chance at getting revenge.]
There was a voice talking inside her head. She didn't know why, but she felt like it wasn't her. She wasn't the one talking. Who was it?
Who was constantly ringing dangerous phrases inside her mind?
Get out. Get out and go away.
Estelle wanted to voice out her disapproval, and yet she found it impossible to fight back.
Like her body was being controlled by something else.
No.. this shouldn't be the ending.
It shouldn't end like this. She had to break through whatever was trying to delude her.
Wake up.