About Your Pride and My Prejudice

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Alan’s sudden story was completely unrealistic. It was not unreasonable to think that he was lying.

I don’t think I’m being heartless. I’m sure anyone who knows the name, Leopold of Sourne, would react the same way.

“……You’re just complaining.”

So this is the only answer I can give back to Alan when he asks if I feel sorry for him.

“Even if the story is true, you are Leopold’s only successor after all. I suppose if you bring together people who want to exchange their lives with you, you can build a kingdom. How could I feel sorry for you?”

Then Alan smiled with his eyes down. I thought he would refute it somehow, but I felt strange because there was no response.

Was it a joke? But I didn’t feel any playfulness.

“You are…… arrogant.”

I didn’t want him to see me as a more naive and ordinary woman, no matter what, so I decided to add a few words.

“That’s why you don’t like to mix with people, I guess.”

Some people said that Alan Leopold was stern. Actually, I also liked that he didn’t like to talk loudly with people or get tangled up with gossip.

Of course, he was cold-hearted even to the young girls who flirted with him, so I’m sorry for the women, but from the point of deeply unrequited love for Alan, it was unbearable.

I was waiting with bated breath for his answer to follow, but Alan suddenly rose.

I was suddenly frightened. It was because I remembered that he had previously walked away and left me on the terrace. I wondered if the same would happen in the bedroom and I was nervous. I didn’t want to part ways like this.

I don’t know when we’ll meet again, but I don’t want to say goodbye with hurtful words again. I’m afraid of the countless nights I’ll be forced to sleep waiting for him to come back…….

“That….”

I don’t know if he’ll believe me or not, but just as I was about to bite my lips to gloss over it as a joke, I forgot what I was going to say when I saw Alan’s back toward the bed, not by the door.

……What is it? Are you trying to sleep with me sitting here? You want to show me that my words don’t matter at all?

While some absurd thoughts crossed my mind, Alan picked up something from the bedside table and came back to me.

“This is….”

What was held out in front of me was a black and long box surrounded by a wavy pattern of gold frames.

“Present.”

“……Do you mean there are flowers in here?”

Alan laughed when I softly asked back in a silly voice.

“It’s similar.”

“…….”

It must have been a joke to say that it contained something like a flower, and it was a box that could contain something like a fancy quill. Come to think of it, getting a pen from Alan wouldn’t be like a dream. Anyway, because he likes my writing…….

I picked up the box with a stunned face. Then I looked up at the blue-gray eyes that looked down at me before I opened it.

“…….”

The box opened with a cheerful click, and I froze for a moment at the appearance of an object that I had never expected.

“It’s an item from Hwa. I’m late in delivering this.”

The identity of the gift was a graceful ivory-colored bar. It was tapered at one end, and on the other, pale pink flowers— perhaps rose stones—were delicately glittering. I felt as if I had received a small cherry blossom tree as a gift.

I was seized with the idea of getting my hands on this beautiful craft right away. As if possessed, I took it out of the box and carefully squeezed it, and the cold surface was surprisingly smooth.

“It’s called binyeo[1].”

“Ah…! I know.”

I’m not lying. I just forgot the name because it’s been so long since I saw it. Hwa was an empire of the East, so there were many cultural overlaps with the memories of my past life.

Standing with his arms folded loosely, Alan laughed as if it was funny that I, a Sourne woman, pretended to know a strange object he had brought from the great empire of the Far East. His beautiful smile was wonderful.

However, I couldn’t thank him directly for this beautiful gift. It was because I could not guess why he suddenly gave such a gift. Maybe he just wanted to change the subject of the conversation, but…….

Anyway, I liked this sudden gift and it was true that I knew about the item called a binyeo, so I thought I’d put up my hair in a chignon with this in front of him.

It’s just that… It didn’t go as well as I wanted.

“Why isn’t it working…….”

I curled my long hair in one hand and held the binyeo in the other, muttering for a long time. Is it because I’ve never actually used a bina before? I’m not really good with my hands, but I thought this was the way to do it.….

Alan, who was staring down at me, was sure to think I was nervous because of him. Thinking that way, my face became as red as a ripe peach.

“It’s not this?”

Then, a cool hand approached and wrapped around my hand holding the binyeo. While I was stunned by the soft and gentle touch, the binyeo was already held by him.

“You are just pretending to know.”

“I-I really know!”

He gently grabbed my hand, which was empty because the hairpin I was holding had disappeared. Alan’s hand was cold, but strangely, where his hand caught was burning hot. It felt as if my heart was moved by that touch.

When I came to my senses, we were sitting side by side on the bed.

“I’ll do it for you.”

“…….”

Alan’s hand grabbed me by the shoulder and gently turned me around. Then he slowly curled up my hair from my back. There was a fine sound of rustling whenever his hand brushed over the rich frill around the neckline.

I closed my eyes tightly because this moment was so overwhelming. I couldn’t breathe naturally because my heart was pounding and it felt as if my lungs were filled with a sticky syrup..….

To breathe is a natural, subconscious action..  Normally, I would have been unaware of it, but now I was so concerned about it that I couldn’t bear it.

I tried to pretend to be calm with my back stiff and tense, but it was not easy at all. I was just entrusting my hair to someone behind me, but I didn’t know why I was feeling thirsty and my stomach was getting hot.

As if I am expecting something else…….

“Ugh.”

As his fingertips gently brushed the nape of my neck, goosebumps rose up all over my body. It felt like a small animal trembling under the teeth of a ferocious beast. He looks relaxed right now, but I don’t think it’ll be weird if he changes his mind and bites me…….

His beautiful fingers were moving very softly and leisurely, but there was an indescribable intimidation in the air. Suffocating tension. Taking a deep breath of the alluring scent coming from behind, I shuddered. Light sweat dripped from my palms.

Nevertheless, the delicate touch was soothing as a dream, that only the ephemeral thought of wanting this moment to last forever was repeated in my head. Even though it’s hard to breathe and I’m struggling.

“It’s done.”

“…….”

Alan, who gently swept my back, laughed. The exposed neck was empty and cool. I had an awkward face, and then I fumbled with my neatly twisted hair and a solid binyeo. It was a pretty good finish without any parts that came out loose.

“Do you want to see it?”

“…… No, thanks.”

I replied bluntly, turning my face that must have been blushing to the point that it’s funny. Then I thought. Why is my heart beating so fast when I just put my hair up?

I felt like cream on top of freshly baked scones. We didn’t kiss each other deep enough to loosen our legs, and he didn’t caress me explicitly…….

In the meantime, a wave of jealousy arose to the point of it being absurd. How does he even know how to do this? Maybe he practiced with the women of the Hwa Empire…….

“It looks good on you.”

Alan whispered.

“……W-what?”

“You are pretty, Melissa.”

“…….”

“I gave this as a present because I wanted to see it on you.”

Turning back to him with a blushing face, Alan’s eyes were close enough for me to touch. With a bluish early morning sky…… The eyes that I love the most in the world.

His eyes, which sank exceptionally deep, sparkled with more gleaming light in the dim room.

“…….”

We were just facing each other but it seemed all the emotions flowed in. Painfully desperate and affectionate sadness and resignation melted in it. Somehow my eyes got cold.

“The reason I didn’t want to mix with people wasn’t because I looked down on them. I was just,”

Alan whispered softly as he lowered his gaze over my hands, which was clenched so tightly that the nail marks remained.

“Afraid of people.”

“…….”

His big hand slowly loosened my fingers one by one. It was a careful touch as if it were dealing with the most precious treasure. There were no lies in this voice and touch. It wasn’t a trade either.

When I realized the fact, my eyes suddenly turned dark. Until just now, I was trembling and thinking of him as a beast, but before I knew it, I felt sorry for him, who was weak, and I was shedding tears. It was the moment when the long-held prejudice was broken.

It was none other than me who was arrogant.

The reason I’ve been cutting Alan out with my inferiority complex…….

“Now you know?”

There was nothing I could do other than hug him hard when he said so. It must be Alan who really wants to cry, but my sad sobbing tears were messing up his shoulders.

Alan’s hand, which slowly climbed up my wingbone as if to sooth me, caressed the nape of my neck, then gently pressed it down.

“Wait……”

My vision tilted before I could resist. Lying on his chest by accident, I was blinking with embarrassment.

But there’s something hard on my legs…….

“Alan, now…….”

At that moment Alan kissed my ear. Unfortunately, with that subtle stimulus, reason and pride melted away in an instant. My heart, beating out of control, had already foreseen something.

“What do I do, Melissa?”

A breathy whisper dissipated.

“I can’t endure it today.”

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