61 - Sledgehammer
Julia stood quietly meditating, motionless, yet fighting furiously for control. With Farhad’s instructions, Julia had sought common ground with her ID. Instead, an invitation had turned into mental warfare. Thoughts flickered between them as fast as punches, yet neither said a word. Then the surrounding space changed. Images raced them through landscapes Julia couldn't remember, but they evoked emotions that stabbed her hard. When they finally appeared in a place familiar from old nightmares, Julia found she wasn’t alone.
“It was a mistake. We got lost in the moment. Are you so perfect you’ve never made a mistake?”
“You had your dick inside my friend. You told me two hours ago you were going to be working late. So I thought I'd be nice and handle some chores for you. When I open the door, the first thing I find is your clothes and hers on the floor. Or does the screaming count as coming first? As that was clear as soon as the door opened, asked Julia's memory
“We were talking, and then one thing led to another. We kissed; I don’t know why we didn’t stop.”
“You stopped alright. Unless that condom just magically got itself on your dick. Why do you even have them? We agreed to wait. You’ve not even said sorry once, just one fucking excuse after another. How dare you tell me I need to understand and forgive!” Julia said, feeling the words she remembered issuing from her mouth as she waved at his cock.
“I’m sorry, my Juliet,”
“My name is Julia. Never call me by your stupid pet name again. You’ve got some things of mine, fucking keep them. I want nothing you’ve touched.”
“Julia, you are a bitch. Stop being such a cow; he said sorry. I’m sorry as well,”
As her ex-friend’s voice sounded in the mindscape, the door slammed hard enough to make the front windows tremble in their panes. The neighbour’s dog lying in their front yard runs for cover.
{{I skipped the name-calling and screaming. It was all boring!!! }}}
{{Though we should have just done them both! She had great boobs and was all bare down there. Would have been a smooth ride. }}
{{Not even covering it up at all. Oh wait, you’ve walked around all very exposed to the world. So you can’t throw stones.}}
Shut up. I didn’t come here to pick a fight.
{{I heard Magic Monkey’s instructions as well. Does he ride a cloud? I wonder if we could make his staff grow. }}
{{Want to yell or scream. We’re still here. Come on! It’s a mind palace. Let loose. }}
{{Use a cricket bat or golf club on the car. }}
{{Did you notice her car isn’t here? Do you think he picked her up so they could fuck? }}
The rubber grip of her brother’s cricket bat suddenly replaced the remembered keys tightly gripped in her hand.
{{Go back in and beat them bloody. You could have keyed the car. But No!!!}}
{{Serious relationships don’t just vanish. Plus, a break up like that leaves nasty scars. I should know. }}
{{A nice blood-soaked daydream would be lovely. }}
{{Remember when you dreamed of doing a proper job manscaping him with the mower.}}
No, I didn’t.
{{Well, maybe I prompted it. But you still woke up in a bright arse mood the next day. }}
{{Everyone at the office likely thought you were flirting, you were smiling so much. Either that or thought we finally got laid. }}
I don’t remember any such dream. If you’re going to weaken us, we’ll get killed.
{{If we do, we do. I’ve been with you more re-incarnations than I can count. }}
How is that possible if you're my ID?
{{Moron I’m part of your Soul, not just your mind. }}
{{Want me to show you the last lifetime where someone cheated on you? Maybe that's why you’re so uptight? }}
{{The case of syphilis she gave you in 1903. That was an unpleasant death by mercury treatments. }}
A past life doesn't matter; I choose to wait.
{{I’m so bored with being suffocated by your control. }}
Wait, she? Was I male? What do you want?
{{Yes. She. Yes, you were. It wasn’t the first time either. I want us to have fun, live, laugh and fuck. }}
{{Not lock everything down, so it gets moldy up there. That sounds unhealthy. }}
Can’t I choose to wait?
{{Wait for whom? We’re going to be in the Abyss for eons, and you want to keep your knees together. }}
Even more so. I don't want a Cambion.
{{Don’t give me that shit. Succubi can control when they get pregnant. }}
{{If they couldn’t, the Abyss would be filled with them or their bodies. }}
Sex doesn’t make me any different.
{{Seriously, J, it would be one thing if you, we, didn’t want sex. }}
{{Be asexual, that’s fine. IF that’s you. But that isn’t you. If you were, I wouldn’t get frustrated. }}
{{Remember the broad shoulders of those smiths, yummy right. The very adult dreams you used to have. }}
{{All the eyes wanting you now. Doesn't it make things warm? Some of them are creepy, but others you would have enjoyed.}}
We’re just going to keep butting heads forever this way. The stronger our willpower gets, the more ridiculous this will be.
{{I want a day. }}
No way I’ve read that book. No way.
{{Yeah, we’ve both read that book, sweetie. Fine, stop wearing the cloak. Walk around, making them want you. }}
We’ve done that in the Abyss, not here where it could cause trouble.
{{Trouble is fun. They want you anyway, even with the cloak. Can’t they control themselves? }}
{{Blaming the woman now? I thought you hated that. }}
There is a difference here. My Charisma or something is screwing with their brains.
Guys should control themselves, not blame a girl for showing collarbones or their knees.
{{Torm has no trouble. Nor do some others, so that’s a lie they can’t. }}
{{Moke, when Dominion isn’t running even seems not to be, well less, a horn dog. }}
{{They all behave when you’re fighting or training with Farhad, whatever you want to call it. }}
Enough. It didn’t happen on my first visit. So my power increase has changed something.
I need some way to dampen this down. I want to talk to people without worrying about it.
{{Fine. Done talking to you for now. Bye Bye }
When the mind palace exploded, Julia shook her head to clear images left behind. Rage from the memories made her hands shake as she reached for the Ki.
{{For fuck’s sake. At least leave that alone for now. FEEL! }}
{{You never even once fucking mourned losing the lie you thought you had. }}
{{Now you’ve lost the rest, and it's run as fast as we can all the time. Rather than stop and face the pain. }}
“I can’t even cry now,” Julia said to the quiet room.
{{So. Scream. Rage. Let it out. Just because you can lock shit down, doesn’t make it a good idea.}}
The mental image of taking a sledgehammer to rock rippled through Julia’s mind, punching bags, and other images followed in a kaleidoscopic landscape.
“Fine.”
<
{{SHUT UP V!!! I told you to stop the fucking child crap.}}
((Very well then, my apologies. Julia, your other side is right. ))
((It is strange B admits what fuels your darkness. ))
{{I’m part of her. You called me by name. I might swoon.}}
I thought you were done talking to me?
{{Technically, I was talking to and about him. So there. }}
…
Julia walked out when the silence dragged on. Only for Would I lie to you to start in her brain.
Eurythmics? Really?
{{I’ve been working on the railroad. All the live long day. }}
Rock shattered under the hammer as every word reverberated through Julia’s mind.
“When you said you wanted to break some rocks, I didn’t figure you’d powder them. Stop hitting the rock scraps and spar with me instead. A bell of powdering stone is more than enough venting. We can work on your spear skills like your last visit,” Alfarr said.
“Let me just clean up,” said Julia.
“Just sweep the rock near the drainage ditch. I’ll transform it into a sealant.”
“Daggers or short blades instead?” asked Julia once she had packed up and finished sweeping.
“You want to branch out?”
“Someone said to me that I should learn to use a dagger before a sword,”
“I wonder who that was,” said Alfarr, mirth lighting his eyes.
“Oh, I wonder. You didn’t hit Moke for me, did you?”
“Why would I hit a Skald? It's really a dangerous move, many poems and songs float around the place then,” Alfarr stated.
Maybe the smack was a bad idea.
{{Should have just fucked him instead. I bet he’s got lots of experience. }}
{{He wouldn’t say no if you’re feeling insecure. }}
“Like the one about the sunrise?”
Alfarr’s laughter filled the air even as he tossed her a pair of sheathed daggers. When she grabbed them from the air, Julia quickly formed a harness for them and linked them in place. Alfarr was still laughing as Julia drew the first dagger and found it had a sharpened blade.
“This isn’t a practice blade,” noted Julia.
“If you can score a hit, you can practice your glowing hand thing. IF,” said Alfarr. As he moved away from the animated practice dummy, a pair of daggers appeared in his hands.
“I need some fine powder that’s flammable. Lots of it,” Julia said, prompted by a memory sweeping rock powder had stirred up.
“That came out of nowhere; we’ll talk after training. Now change your grip. Look at how I’m holding them. I know you can do all that body shifting stuff, but I’m going to teach you what I know. Then you can make up all you want after you learn the basics,” said Alfarr, turning his hands so Julia could clearly see his grip as he spoke.
“Master Alfarr, Lady Julia, I will serve dinner shortly.”
A deep but still feminine voice called from a window.
With that interruption, Julia stood back, checking the daggers before returning them to their sheaths.
“New housekeeper? Though I didn’t get an introduction to your last one,” Julia asked as she checked the last progress notifications.
[Dagger [B] (15->16)
Agile [Ad] (3->4)
Perception [J] (37->38)]
“No, you didn’t get introduced. Greta was nervous about meeting you. She left last month, said her daughter needed a hand with her children. They live on a farm just south of town. Rika’s had a rough time lately, so Yngvarr offered her the work. It was her rest day yesterday, so she wasn’t about, not that she does much with it. Now let's clean up. Rika doesn’t like dirt or sweat at the dinner table,”
“Surprised you ever get fed now,”
“Oh, my heart bleeds from your cruel words. Though not as much as your arms were. You need to move faster. Still, you adapt well, and I see a lot of your unarmed style in your fighting,”
Julia went from dusty to clean as she took a step, and Alfarr grumbled behind her.
“Did you have to spray debris in my direction? How did you do that, I felt no casting?”
“My apologies, I thought there was the dirt pile there. Guess I assumed, like when I thought you'd use unenchanted blades,”
“I help you out, and yet you mistreat me. How did you do that?” asked Alfarr.
“Had Inventory collect all the dust on me and then ejected towards you. I need to level it up more to go with my plans.”
“The pocket dimension thing you have. It’s driving Yngvarr nuts trying to figure out how you do it via a Power. He likely wants you to practice for him so he can try to detect its usage. You could handle this ‘level up’ thing while he works on that.”
“Sounds like an idea. I freed up a bunch of space with all the items I’ve left in his vault. But I need more capacity than I have at present,”
“How many parts are there to whatever plan you have cooked up?”
“Not part of the same plan. I want multiple options as I don’t think it will be wise to repeat myself. Also, if one doesn’t work, I want fallback positions,”
Julia watched the zephyr strip the dust from Alfar. Then, after gathering the earlier rock dust, it moved and spread it along the drainage ditch beside the dormant looking herb garden.
“Couldn’t have just done that before and saved me sweeping?”
“Why? It was fun watching you be all domestic. Let us go inside. I’ll transform it after dinner and make sure I properly seal the rockwork this time.”
“Mind if I watch.”
“Not an issue, not that my power usage will teach you anything of help, little wizard girl,”
“Aren’t you a fire Sorcerer? How does that relate to a zephyr?”
“I draw power from the fire elemental plane. Once I have that energy, it's according to my will, what I use it to do,”
“So Sorcerer’s have a better idea about making use of elemental energy for things outside their affinity.”
“It’s not what you mean. Sorcerer’s don’t have an affinity. Nor do we really have spell forms. We shape the power drawn from another plane through sheer will.”
“I'll meet you at the dining room,” Alfarr said before he vanished from the yard.
He’s going to get fat if he teleports rather than walks.
{{Right, Alfarr needs to worry about being slow and fat. I’m sure that's why he had you moving fast trying not to get stabbed. }}
Thanks for the reminder.
{{No worries, sweetie. I had the mental popcorn going. The show was GOOD!!! }}
{{You’re not the only one that likes them muscles. Yummie Yummie Yummie}}
ABBA seriously? Please stop. If you remember past lives, were we Elven?
{{Oh, it’s WE now. Sweetie, I’m not your enemy, but you’ve earned zip from me. Why the heck would I tell you? }}
Goodwill gesture.
{{They work both ways. Do you know the inferno you blanked out on? The torture? I wasn’t so lucky. Thanks for asking.}}
{{Tell you what, set me loose for an hour. You can even watch on and have three vetoes, then I’ll tell you.}}
I don’t think that’s happening.
{{Talk to the hand then bitch cause this face ain’t listening. }}
You had most of a night. Now you’re holding out on a simple question?
{{That night started as me, but it was us before it was over from what Livia remembered.}}
{{You think you’re the only one that has issues remembering that night?}}
{{Mr Fat arse ground the plates of our Soul together, San Andreas fault has nothing on Captain Thunderpants. }}
{{I want a refund. }}
V, would you answer a question about things that have occurred while we’ve been together?
((That would depend on the question. Some things are too dangerous to discuss. ))
Primordial Abyssal, when I unlocked it, the words in the language sent my mind reeling. Did you guide me back to my senses?
((No, and yes. I merely invoked a memory. Your own willpower used that flare of reality to return. ))
((The Primordial, even now, sits outside what you can comprehend. ))
((I can make no choices for you. The Titan’s Laws bind me, while you are entirely a free agent. ))
What are you??
((That I likely should not tell you. ))
Can you tell me anything about the hidden rewards?
((I do not know of them either. I’m sure the Titan has his intentions. ))
B said, you were there when she tortured us. I remember feeling something touch the Ki. Was that you?
((Yes. ))
Were we Elven?
((I hear your mind, thoughts, see glimpses of your surroundings. I do not know everything about you. ))
((What you were is not important, only your choices now. ))
The Elves are reacting based on it. I don’t want to feel like I’m conning them.
((You’ve done more than enough to warrant a reward from them. Do not let it worry you. ))
((They have their own pride. You rescued one of their celestials and a Princess. Let them acknowledge it. ))
I understand what you mean.
{{Thank fuck. No more guilty thoughts dripping down here about it then. }}
{{Elves, they’re cute, ask one of them to fuck you. }}
B!
{{Fine! Have it your way! But I found this memory.}}
Memories of energy and pain made her clench her teeth. Though, like Livia’s recollection, it passed in a moment. The sensation of energy coming up from the Leviathan’s blood gripping her shins and rippling through the Ki’s pool replayed, isolated from everything else.
V? Are you going to tell us why you are bound in darkness? How does the leviathan blood relate to you?
{{SHE LOVES ME. MY PRECIOUS SAID US!!!}
That felt like it came from the block gripping me. How do I know you’re not Leviathan?
((She would never have considered speaking to one, not of Tiamat’s kin. No matter their Soul.))
I don’t care if it's too dangerous for me to know. So you have first-hand knowledge of Leviathan?
I will admit I may not need to know. Yet I’m tired of people constantly at my back that I can’t trust.
Cause the flip side is, do you want help to get out?
{{I vote no. }}
((Let me consider what I might tell you, Julia. ))
((Your mind puts together pieces of information in dangerous ways. ))
I want to know sooner, not later. I don’t want things sprung on me.
How about you tell me? Then I’ll let you judge when we have got the right power. Deal?
((Give me time to consider things first. ))
“Lady Julia? Would you like anything, in particular, to drink with dinner?” asked Rika.
Her first sight of Rika surprised Julia, seeming more a girl than a woman no matter her size. The breadth of her shoulders meant she filled the doorframe even more than Alfarr did. A brutal-looking ridged brow, nose, and solid face that didn’t match the confused, almost lost look in her yellow slitted eyes. The pronounced eyeteeth peeking up from the lower jaw finished painting a picture for Julia. As she made eye contact, Rika jumped slightly and grabbed the doorframe as if ready to flee.
Half-Orc? Or something else? Her eyes look so young and sad. Yngvarr’s giving her a safe place. I need to get him a present.
“Nothing in particular, Rika. Whatever they normally drink and please call me Julia. I’m not a Lady,”
“You’re a guest of the house, Lady Julia. It wouldn’t be right,”
“I won’t cause trouble, Rika, but I’d prefer to be called Julia. How are you adjusting to your new job?”
“It’s much better than mucking out stables for coppers, Lady Julia. Master Alfarr prefers mead where Lord Yngvarr has herbal tea or wine,”
Booze does nothing.
{{Spoil sport, still tastes good. }}
“Tea would be fine if Yngvarr is having some, otherwise a cup of mead,”
“I’ll boil some water for tea then,” said Rika, carefully letting go of the doorframe.
“Sorry if I startled you, I had no intention of it,”
“You’ve nothing to apologise for your Ladyship,”
{{Does it feel you’re in a period drama now? We should drink a toast to no more period cramps! }}
{{Actually, that deserves lots of drinks! I am distracting you; I am, aren’t I. That’s so cool. }}
“I seem to have that effect on people. My apologies if I made you uncomfortable,” said Julia, trying to push past B’s noise.
“Yngvarr said you have a very forceful presence. I hadn’t completely understood till you looked up. I best not let dinner spoil."
Rika nodded politely and headed away, her quick pace clattering on the stone.
Wow, that was a reaction.
{{Maybe you should wear an executioner's hood or a blindfold. Butterscotch would be a great safe word }}
{{Just slides across the tongue, promising intoxication with no delivery. Just like you and carnal anything. }}
{{Maybe she likes women. She’s got lots of muscles. I know you like those. }}
Shut up. She looks like a lost kid. I wonder what happened.
{{Are you going to rescue someone else from life? What about rescuing us from the cruelties of virginity? }}
{{We’re all blocked up. Take two guys and call no one in the morning. }}
Do you have verbal diarrhea?
{{Ignored for lifetimes, finally having a voice you can properly hear. This takes getting used to, and I love it at present. }}
When the next song started playing in her memories, Julia just groaned.
I’ll start with the Ki.
{{Fine!! No more Robert Palmer. }}