Chapter 77
Flying high over the lands below, I scan the ground with enhanced vision, keeping an eye out for other players, but most seem to be either keeping close to the capital city, or are spread out far and wide, roaming wherever they please. I perform a lazy, wide spiral through a low-drifting fogbank, paratrails of mist dragging behind me, laughing in delight as I startle a flock of fat, wobbling geese, their indignant honking and flapping fading into the distance behind as I soar, wings churning the sky as I angle myself down, the small, peaceful village of Tillberry coming into view. I descend in a slow glide, landing in a small clearing half a mile or so from the settlement.
Stretching, I furl my wings and equip my full armour set, the black, scarlet-trimmed metal snapping into place around my body, before I pull my greatshield and swordspear from my inventory and double-checking the co-ordinates. This is where I should be, but… considering how low-level this area is, a starter area, a monster of considerable might would be something akin to a folktale.
“Don’t stay out too late or the Bogeyman will get you…”
“Naughty children who don’t do as they’re told will be visited by the Bag Man, and you’ll be stolen away.”
“Clean your room or the Iron-Toothed Witch will eat your face.”
I chuckle. Well, let’s see if I can’t put this ‘legend’ to rest.
I patrol the area, waiting and watching, wondering what the unknown monster could be. A special breed of goblin? A dark beast of some kind? Or something completely different? I can’t help but get excited. Any real gamer would never turn down a chance for epic loot or a real challenge…
I hear the sound of metal impacting something, and hurry towards the noise, eyes widening in curiosity. Pushing through the underbrush, I see a figure I’ve seen before, clad in a black cloak and a bucket helm, skeletal traces visible through tears in the fabric.
Boney?!
The undead player is engaged in battle with some kind of creature, magic bolts flying from his hands, the strange, scaled beast swiping at him with long claws, the magical darts glancing off and driving little divots in the dirt and trunks of the surrounding trees.
It swipes with a long tail, the scales coating its appendage shearing through a sapling like a razor blade, before it curls up and begins rolling and bouncing round like the world’s angriest pinball. The grass and bushes around it are torn to shreds as it charges at the skeletal spellcaster, and he hops out of the way, the strange creature changing directions on a coin, coming back again and ploughing into the trunk of a large tree. The bark is almost vaporized by the sharp scales, and the creature uncurls, rounding on the nearest target: me.
“Ah, shit…”
I bring my shield up as the tail swings, the heavy mass of the extended limb crashing into me, screeching metal protesting the impact, but I use my wings to brace myself.
“No thanks! I don’t want any!” I shout, jabbing with my spear, the wide blade jarring over the scales. It lets out a sort of scraping roar, like someone tearing a car in half, multiplied by a rusty lawnmower that just found out you’d been sleeping with its daughter.
Boney shouts, “Move, I can’t get a good shot in without hitting you!”
“I’d love to, but it’s not exactly letting me!” I call back, as another blow crashes against my shield. As it draws back for another strike, I hop back, my wings flaring to boost my jump a little. The tail embeds itself in the ground where I’d been standing a heartbeat ago.
“Thanks!” Boney, taking his chance, raises both fleshless hands, and an outpouring of white energy cascades forth, frost forming around the creature. It roars, smashing its claws down, breaking away the forming ice, and sweeping its tail, launching a barrage of freezing chips, a few loose scales mixed in, trying to eviscerate me, and possibly the skeleton throwing magic blasts at it.
As the fusillade of ice and scales rain down on us, I charge, my shield up, the point of my swordspear aimed ahead. My boots and armour clank as a few stray projectiles ping off me, and a screech like a seabird exploding inside an oil-drum fills my ears.
“Nice hit!”
Boney’s voice rises, and I hear the sound of tearing cloth. Looking back, I can see something ripping its way out of the back of the skeletal mage’s robe. Long, curved bones, held together with glinting wires, splaying out like giant… wings….
He beats the bare, featherless bones, lifting off as easily as me. I stare, as he channels an expanding ball of roiling flame and magma, his phalanges forced away from each other, hands parted as he roars,
“GET BACK, NOW! THIS IS GONNA HURT!”
I dive away, the creature lashing out with a long, LONG tongue, the sticky pad slamming into my breastplate and reeling me in. I can’t help but yelp in pain, my HP dropping from green into the amber. Boney’s wings clatter as he circles, trying to get a better angle.
“Shit, I can’t avoid hitting you as well as it! You got any way to escape?!”
I shake my head.
“No, it’s got me pinned! Just do it!”
“Are you sure?! It’ll probably kill you!”
I nod. “Do it! But, if it drops a spare Stone of Rapid Transference, I want it!”
“Deal! Sorry about this!”
Boney’s arm draws back, the ball of incandescent, uncontrolled flames in his hand, before he hurls it.
“BURN TO CINDERS AND DISAPPEAR! FLAME OF PURIFICATION!”
I close my eyes as the ball of flame and volcanic heat crashes down upon me and my life comes to an end…
I sit up, gasping. Or, at least, I try to. My lungs don’t seem to work, though, and I look down at myself. I’m… transparent, and I remember what happened.
“Oh, that’s right. I exploded, didn’t I?”
“Indeed, young lady.”
I look up and round, to see the massive, skeletal figure of the Lord of Life and Death, Elif Thade. He smiles, his tiny glowing pinprick eyes twinkling, and sits on a chair that appears out of nowhere. He chuckles softly as I blink at the sudden chair-summoning magic.
“Perks of being a deity. Anyway…You were unfortunate, to be so unlucky as to get caught by the Demonscale Pangolin. You handled your demise with grace, though. I applaud you for that. So… while I have you to myself for a moment… how is my sister?”
I smile. “Oh, Lady Voltesse? She’s doing well enough, as far as I know. I visited her the other day, and caught her fussing over my giant bunny companion, Thunderbun. She also helped me stick it to an asshole nobleman by donating a tiny drop of power to let a ghost keep her title and property!”
The death-deity roars with laughter, his skull tipping back and jawbone clacking as he slaps his knee with a sound like a wind-chime.
“Ahhh, that’s my sister for sure. She’s never been one to let the cruel oppress the mild... She may have overstepped her boundaries a little with that, but we’ll keep it a secret between us, hmm?”
I nod. “Ah, my bad, I should probably keep that secret from now, huh? Anyway… am I stuck here?”
Not as such. Normally, I wouldn’t interfere with your resurrection, but I was curious. My sister has taken an interest in you, and I wanted a closer look at one of her champions. My apologies, young lady. I hope we don’t meet again for a while, yes?”
I smile. “I don’t mind chatting with you if I get killed. It certainly makes getting blown up less dull.”
“Oh, I like you. I can definitely see why my sister has taken such a shine to you… goodbye for now, young lady. Good luck on your adventures!”
I barely have time to shout a farewell before blinding light enshrouds me and-
“-Ack! Oof, well, that wasn’t the most fun…” I sit up, a pair of bony hands steadying me.
“Sorry about the accidental PK. I swear, I wasn’t trying to cause any bad blood between us. Your girlfriend’s scary!”
I shake my head and smile.
“Nah, it’s my bad. I should’ve expected that it could do something like that. We’re cool. Although, that was the first time I actually died, not counting that tournament. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be!”
Boney grins, more than he normally does considering his head is a skull, and holds something out to me. A small glowing green spiral crystal.
“I don’t know what kind of luck you’ve got, but this is yours.”
I smile, taking it and tucking it away. Five charges, before it recharges every real-world day. Excellent!
Bidding my farewells to the undead Skyborne, I pocket my prize, watching as he flies off into the distance. I didn’t even know there were undead versions of races. I probably wouldn’t have picked one to play as…
Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Beep-beep!”
“OH! Asteria’s calling me! Hello?”
“Hey, where are you? I just got a bad feeling, I wanted to check you’re okay!”
“Oh, I’m okay. I got myself one of those teleport stones you let me borrow. I figured it might come in handy. And I met Boney. Did you know he’s an undead Skyborne or something??”
“Wait, what?? I mean, the bones and the name kinda clued me into the whole ‘undead’ thing, but an undead SKYBORNE?? Weird, but kinda cool! Anything else fun happen?”
“Well, I hung out with Lord Elif Thade for a little bit. He’s actually really nice. He wanted to ask how Lady Voltesse was doing.”
“Wait, go back a bit. HOW did you meet one of the Lords??? Was he out for a mornin’ constitutional or summat??”
I giggle. “Oh, nothing major, I just died is all.”
“YOU WHAT?! DID BONEY PLAYERKILL YOU?! LEMME GET MY HANDS ON HIM, I’LL USE HIS RIBCAGE AS A XYLOPHONE-!”
“Asteriaaaa! Stoppit! He DID kill me, but I asked him to!”
“….what? Whyyy did you ask him to kill you???”
“Because this field boss called a… Demonscale Pangolin… got me with one of its attacks and I couldn’t escape. It was using me as a hostage, so I told Boney to shoot through me! That’s all!”
Asteria’s silence drags on, and I start to get worried. I could hear her on the other end, but she isn’t saying anything.
“Hello? Astie?”
“I’m here. Sorry, I… I just feel like I should’ve been there. I should’ve warned you about what you’d be facin’ off against, or something…”
I smile. “No, it’s fine, Astie. You can’t always take time out of your own streaming to keep me from getting myself into trouble. And, also, it’s just a game! I didn’t mind dying!”
I can hear a faint chuckle on the other end of the magical ‘phone-line’, and she sighs.
“You’re so weird, my love! You’re not supposed to die; you’re supposed to make the OTHER guys die!”
I snrrk, then say, “I’m going to hit up the mine before I head back to the ship. Shall we have dinner before we log out?”
“Sounds good! I’m thinking we could hit that really good Dwarven place that does those delicious little hand-pies, and the really flaky cheese bites?!”
I smile. “Of course! I’m looking forward to it! I’ll let you know when I’m back, yeah?”
“Alright! You go make your money, babe! We’ll meet up in a bit, then! It’s… a… date! Byee!”
Before I can splutter anything, Dana ends the spell, and I’m left alone with my thoughts. “Asdfghjkl! Grrfmblgarhmfzzlegrblmargh!”
My brain’s not obeying me right now. Those noises were supposed to be words, right? At least, I think they were! Help! Dana’s too hot! And I’m pretty sure she’s gonna wanna kiss me in order to make sure I’m not dead on the inside. But that’s not possible! How could I ever be dead inside when she’s… she’s… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!