110. Pest Party & Plans (Amy)
"How is that cat talking?!" Hailey half demanded as she looked up and down between me and the small fur-ball under my chair.
Alex added, "And why don't they need to eat? The talking cat part kind of makes sense, I assume magic's involved somehow. But doesn't everything need to eat?"
I rolled my eyes and had a sip of wine. Then I asked, "Siggy, you're the one who opened this can of worms. Why don't you answer their questions?"
The little torty emerged from beneath my chair and turned around to face me. For a moment I thought they were about to respond, or maybe they'd tell my sister and her partner who they really were.
Instead all they had to say was "Yoink!" as one of their paws lashed out and snatched another wing off my plate. Then they ducked back underneath my chair again.
I glanced at my girlfriend but she just smirked and shook her head, then went back to enjoying her dinner. Meanwhile Alex and Hailey were still staring wide-eyed at the furry little felon who was now feasting on the spoils of their latest crime.
After another minute or so the little torty finally answered, "I can talk because I'm a goddess. Or Amethyst and Theresa have been calling me a godby, because I'm nonbinary. That's also why I don't need to eat, deities do not need food to survive. That's a mortal thing."
Alex and Hailey exchanged a surprised look, then my sister focused on me again. She demanded, "So if gods don't need to eat how come you're always eating stuff? Just out of habit? For that matter back when we were growing up I remember you had quite the appetite, you were always complaining about being hungry."
That made me both blush and grimace. Siggy was already curious about my past and how I managed to have human parents and a human sister, I was positive they'd be questioning how I 'grew up' with my human family. Fortunately the furry pest kept any such questions to themself for now.
I made a face as I told my sister, "You're less than a meter away from a talking cat god with a penchant for stealing food. Why do you have to focus on my eating habits?"
"Amy's got a point," Alex commented. "I don't know about you, but divine talking nonbinary cats are something of a rarity in my experience."
Hailey ignored her partner as she continued looking at me. She asked, "C'mon sis, don't deflect. What's the big deal, how come you have to eat but your cat doesn't? Are they more holy than you? Or are they a stronger god or something? Older maybe?"
I sighed, but I knew my sister wasn't going to give it up unless I answered her question. In a quiet voice I explained, "I'm an immortal goddess but my body is still mortal. I age, I can get sick, I can get hurt, and my body can even be killed. If that happened I could just create a new one though? Same as healing injuries and curing illnesses. But if I made my body immortal then I'd stop ageing, and that would be noticeable in a few years. Especially next to you or Tess or our parents."
"I assume if I had an immortal divine body I wouldn't need food or drink, just like the cat," I added.
"That's correct," Siggy confirmed. "Although many gods continue to enjoy food and drink, even if it's not necessary to sustain them. That's one of the few human inventions to be appreciated in the heavens as much as on Earth. Honestly the world would be a much better place if humanity forgot about hatred and bigotry, and focused all their efforts on gastronomy instead."
Tess suppressed a laugh, "Next time I run into some queermisic parents I'm going to have a hard time not thinking about banishing them to the kitchens."
Hailey smiled at me, "Shouldn't you be able to make that possible? Some kind of divine curse maybe?"
"I'm not sure I want to start doing a bunch of curses," I replied as I shook my head. "Even if I do think some transmisic bigots probably deserve it."
Alex nodded in agreement, "I can understand the temptation, but I think it's probably for the best to avoid the negative stuff."
"And honestly I'm more interested in your cat than the other topic," the tall enby added. "Siggy? Have you always been a cat? How did you end up here with Amy and Tess?"
Our little pest emerged from under my chair again as they responded, "I used to be a Norse warrior goddess, but I'd rather not talk about my past."
The cat stretched, then calmly reached up and stole the last wing off my plate before moving back under my chair again.
"Siggy! Why do you keep stealing my food?" I complained. "There's three other people here but you're always picking on me."
They sounded like their mouth was full as they replied, "Two reasons. They're mortals and I don't want to take advantage of them. And you can always teleport more from the box in the kitchen, or just conjure up some replacements."
I rolled my eyes but did just that. With a little swirl of golden light three replacement wings appeared on my plate. I started to eat one, but made sure the other two were well out of reach of the little thief just in case.
"If I ever told people about this dinner conversation they'd assume I had way more beer than I've actually had," Hailey commented with a smile.
I asked, "Is that a hint? Do you want me to magically top up your drinks so you and Alex don't have to go inside and visit the fridge."
My sister laughed, "Yes please! I could use another slice of the Hawaiian pizza, if you're offering."
"I'll have a slice of the pepperoni if you don't mind," Alex added with a grin.
My girlfriend chimed in as well. She smirked, "More wine please Amy, and I'll have two more wings and a couple wedges as well thank you."
"Fine," I grumbled as I rolled my eyes again. "I can't help feeling like the cat's somehow convinced you all to take advantage of me."
All that earned me was some quiet giggling, as I magically refilled all four glasses, then teleported the requested food onto their plates.
Hailey had a gulp of her beer then smiled, "Thanks Amy, sorry for picking on you. Blame it on how cute the cat is? I just hope in the future Siggy will use their cuteness for good rather than evil."
"Honestly at this point I'm wondering why you don't just use magic for everything," Alex commented. "I thought it was a big deal when you teleported the four of us overseas for vacation, but now you're teleporting us here from the city and teleporting food between the kitchen and balcony? You make it look routine."
My girlfriend spoke up before I could respond, "Oh talking about our trip to Ireland, I was talking with my mom the other day and she's interested in that family reunion idea. We should contact Niamh and let her know, since I'm sure it will take some time to coordinate everything."
I nodded, "Sounds good to me. What do you think Hailey, want to go back to Ireland again next summer and meet some distant relatives?"
"I'll have to figure out vacation time, and considering I haven't even started work yet it's probably a little early to be looking into that," she grinned. "But yeah, I'd be up for another trip to Ireland. I'd love to invite our nana too, but she might be a little too feeble to make the trip."
"Unless you could teleport her?" she added.
I grimaced, "I don't know about that. I mean obviously I could do it, I just don't know how she'd handle finding out about magic or my goddess stuff? And how would we invite nana without also talking to mom about it? Or have you already told mom about our Irish relatives?"
My sister shook her head, "I haven't told mom anything about the family tree stuff."
"You haven't told me either," Alex commented. "But I'm piecing things together from this conversation. I take it you and Amy have family in the same small town as Tess's cousin?"
Hailey's eyes widened and she grimaced, "Crap! Sorry Alex, I completely forgot you weren't in the loop! It was a secret at first, until me and Amy could confirm stuff with our nana. Then I kept quiet so Amy could talk to Tess about it?"
"Hailey and Amy and I are all distant cousins," my girlfriend told the enby. "We all had the same great-great-grandmother back in that little Irish village?"
Alex seemed impressed, "That's a pretty wild coincidence."
"Or maybe it's fate? Maybe it was meant to be?" they added with a smile.
I rolled my eyes, "It seems like a lot of random coincidences to me. Anyways I'm definitely up for a family reunion, and I can take care of the travel arrangements for the four of us. I can teleport Jodie too, if you think your mom can handle that Tess?"
My girlfriend shrugged, "No idea. And we probably don't have to worry about that for another ten months yet. The hardest part will be figuring out when everyone's available. And we'll have to figure out where we can all stay, because I didn't see any hotels in that little village."
The four of us ended up talking about that for a while, before the conversation eventually moved on. We all had plenty to eat and drink as the sun set. Even after it was dark outside we stayed on the balcony and continued talking and drinking. The music was still playing in the background, and generally it was a nice fun relaxing evening with my sister and her partner.
After the plates and leftovers were put away Siggy spent some time on everyone's lap, and they definitely got all the pets and scritches and belly rubs there were to be had.
Things didn't wind down until somewhere after one in the morning, and I couldn't help noticing that Hailey and Alex were both kind of tipsy when I teleported them home.
• • • • •
"Thanks cutie," Tess smiled as I handed her a fresh mug of coffee. "You're the best."
I smiled back as I sat down on the sofa next to her, "I try."
After a sip of the hot drink she asked, "So how come you don't have a hangover this morning? Is that a special goddess thing? Or did you cheat and cure yourself with magic this morning?"
"I used magic last night actually," I replied. "I made it so the alcohol didn't affect me that much, so I didn't get drunk in the first place. I wanted to make sure there weren't any mistakes teleporting Hailey and Alex home last night."
My girlfriend frowned, "Huh. I didn't notice you weren't as wobbly as the rest of us. Makes sense though, I'm glad you were careful."
"I wouldn't take any chances with my sister or Alex's safety," I replied before having a sip of my coffee.
It was about half past eleven Saturday morning, and both Tess and I were planning a quiet lazy day. We'd both been up for less than an hour, and neither of us bothered to get dressed. I was in a nightshirt while she wore panties and a t-shirt. The two of us were cuddled on the sofa, while Siggy lay stretched out across one of the cushions on the love-seat across from us.
"Talking about teleporting and magic," Theresa commented after a few quiet minutes, "How would you feel about maybe going out to Calgary next weekend to visit my mom? It'd be a brief trip, like maybe pop out there Friday as soon as I'm home from work, then come back Sunday afternoon?"
I nodded, "Sure I don't have a problem with that. Would we be going to your mom and step-dad's place? Or would we be arriving somewhere else?"
"It doesn't really matter either way," I added, "But it'll be easier for me if I know in advance where we're going? Otherwise I'll have to do some last-minute scrying."
Tess looked thoughtful as she had another long sip of her coffee. Then after a few seconds she replied, "It'll probably be best if we don't show up at their place? I'll send you the address later and maybe you can find us a safe spot nearby where we can arrive? Like how you found that park in Dublin?"
"Ok," I nodded. "Any reason why you don't want us to arrive there? Or is it because of your step-dad? I guess maybe he doesn't know about the whole goddess thing?"
She grimaced, "That's the main reason. Mom promised not to tell anyone about your divine heritage, including Harvey."
After a sip of my coffee I asked, "Any reason for the visit? I know you spoke with your mom recently, is everything ok?"
"Not exactly," Tess sighed. "She sounded stressed, and apparently she and Harvey have been having some arguments lately?"
After another sigh she added, "She didn't say it, but I'm worried maybe the arguments have something to do with me? She said they started a couple months ago, which might mean they started after she got home from her visit here?"
I winced, "Ah. I hope that's not the case, but I guess if it is at least it sounds like your mom might be sticking up for you?"
"Yeah that's what I was thinking too," she agreed. "Anyways I'll text you the address this afternoon. And I'll try and talk with my mom again this week, or I'll email or something. Maybe she'll have a suggestion on where we can meet her."
"All right Tess. If there's anything else I can do just let me know," I replied.
My girlfriend smiled, "Thanks Amy. I appreciate it."