Alpha Trauma

“Sun…bae?”

On Friday morning, Wooyeon, who had arrived at school way too early, ran into Dohyeon in an empty lecture hall. ‘Why is he here?’ Wooyeon thought, but only for a brief moment before noticing that Dohyeon was equally surprised, blinking in disbelief.

“Why are you here?”

That question held multiple meanings. Half shock that Dohyeon might actually be attending this class, half disbelief that it couldn’t be true, and a bit of surprise at Wooyeon’s sudden appearance.

“My schedule’s a mess…”

At those words, Dohyeon gave him a brief sympathetic look. It was Wooyeon’s first semester, and somehow, due to a failed course registration, he was stuck taking a third-year major course. He was lucky he hadn’t decided to drop out yet.

“Hang in there.”

It was a cheer full of pity. The words made Wooyeon feel like he could cry. Was dropping out really the answer? Just as he was thinking this and about to leave the room, a quiet question stopped him.

“Where are you going?”

“Huh? Oh, I was just going to get a drink or something.”

It was a lie. He simply felt uncomfortable being alone with Dohyeon and was looking for an excuse to leave.

“Really?”

Dohyeon replied indifferently as he stood up. His broad shoulders and confident stride were impressive enough to make Wooyeon admire him again. While Wooyeon was momentarily lost in thought, Dohyeon took a step closer and held something out.

“There’s a café at the far end of the first floor.”

It was an ordinary credit card, the kind you use to make purchases.

“Get me a small Americano, and buy whatever you want for yourself.”

Wooyeon’s eyes widened as he stood there, mouth agape. At some point, Dohyeon had taken Wooyeon’s bag from him. Smiling kindly, Dohyeon added:

“If you don’t know the way, I’ll go with you.”

Of course, Wooyeon went to the café alone. This was the first time in Seon Wooyeon’s life that someone had asked him to run an errand, let alone offered to buy him a drink in return. And the fact that his bag had been taken hostage made it all the more surreal.

“You’re back quickly.”

Dohyeon smiled slightly as he took the drinks. Wooyeon awkwardly grabbed his bag from the seat next to him. Once again, Dohyeon stopped him.

“Just sit down. There’s no one else here.”

Of course, there wouldn’t be. Not only was the seat next to them empty, but the entire lecture hall was deserted. It was ridiculous, but Wooyeon couldn’t argue with that logic.

“…”

And so began a silence that had already stretched to ten minutes. Wooyeon, feeling so awkward he could barely stand it, busily fiddled with his phone. He typed out a message, “Dani, what do you think about dropping out?” Just then, Dohyeon finally spoke.

“Do you like sweet things?”

He was looking at the drink Wooyeon had brought. The pink strawberry smoothie sat untouched. When Wooyeon gave a hesitant nod, Dohyeon, as if he understood, pushed his own drink toward him.

“Everything except the Americano is awful there.”

“Want to try mine?” he offered. Wooyeon declined. For some reason, the strawberry smoothie tasted nothing like strawberries. Wooyeon resolved never to go to that café again as he sent his message to Daniel.

“Wooyeon.”

Startled, Wooyeon flinched. Hearing his name sounded strange and unfamiliar. Like an unlubricated robot, he turned his head to face Dohyeon, who was smiling at him.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

The answer, without a doubt, was yes. It was surprising Dohyeon hadn’t asked sooner. Wooyeon didn’t bother to answer, but Dohyeon seemed to take his silence as confirmation.

“Why?”

He wasn’t really asking for a reason, just setting the stage for his next words.

“Is it because my smile seems fake?”

“

!”

Wooyeon turned his head and coughed loudly. Even though he wasn’t drinking anything, he had somehow swallowed air wrong. He kept coughing, his face turning beet red.

“Oh, was it not uncomfortable but that you said you didn’t like me?”

Dohyeon casually patted Wooyeon’s back as if nothing was wrong. As soon as Wooyeon shot up from his seat, Dohyeon pulled his hand back and shrugged. Wooyeon was still coughing lightly.

“What’s got you so flustered?”

“…It’s not that…”

His throat felt rough and scratchy. He had coughed so hard that there were tears in his eyes. Dohyeon watched him calmly, his lips curling slightly in amusement.

“With that small liver of yours, what were you thinking, saying something like that?”

“…I’m sorry.”

Wooyeon mumbled a small apology as he sat back down. He wanted to move to another seat, but more students were starting to file into the room. If he caused a scene now, he’d really have no choice but to drop out.

“It’s fine. I was just joking.”

“…”

“Don’t look at me like that. I was just messing with you.”

What on earth had happened over the past four years? The Dohyeon Wooyeon knew wasn’t someone who would tease him in such a childish way. He was even less the type to beat around the bush when he wanted to say something.

“You really can’t control your expressions.”

Dohyeon seemed to find the situation thoroughly amusing. Wooyeon’s confusion, his inability to meet Dohyeon’s eyes, and his flustered behavior all appeared to be nothing more than entertainment. At that, Wooyeon bristled slightly.

“…You must hear a lot that you’ve got a bad personality, huh?”

Despite snapping back, Wooyeon nervously took a sip of his strawberry smoothie. It tasted like icy water with just a hint of strawberry flavor. Dohyeon’s eyes widened briefly before a soft smile spread across his face.

“It’s the first time I’ve heard it from a Hoobae, though.”

He looked genuinely pleased by this fact. His eyes crinkled, and his well-shaped lips curved into a perfect arc. His teeth, visible for just a moment, were white and straight. It was completely different from the artificial, forced smiles he’d given before.

“Glad you like hearing it for the first time.”

Wooyeon mumbled as he fiddled with his earlobe. Even without looking in a mirror, he knew his face had turned red.

he mentally reassured himself. Only then did the heat around his eyes begin to cool down.

Fortunately, Dohyeon didn’t speak after that. He didn’t stare at Wooyeon persistently as before, nor did he smile unnecessarily. He simply opened a notebook, spinning his pen in circles as he drifted into thought. It was like he was waiting absentmindedly, as if Wooyeon were solving a problem and he was watching over him.

“Seo…”

Wooyeon swallowed the word before it left his mouth. The unspoken title was quickly replaced with another.

“Sunbae.”

The pen that had been spinning gracefully dropped with a thud. Dohyeon casually picked it back up.

“You can call me

if you want.”

His dark eyes were fixed on Wooyeon. Wooyeon thought his expression seemed like that of a different person.

“You don’t seem used to calling me

so just call me

”

was the first thing Dohyeon had said. When Wooyeon had hesitated over what to call him, Dohyeon had told him firmly in a mock-serious voice.

‘When you’re a university student, you can call me

’

“…Maybe later.”

Now that Wooyeon was a university student, he’d earned the chance to call him

It was a title much closer than teacher and student, but their relationship had grown more distant in the meantime.

“Whatever’s comfortable for you.”

“So? You have something to say?”

“Can I ask you something?”

It was a very cautious question. Dohyeon blinked, as if to say Wooyeon could do as he pleased. The way Dohyeon patiently waited for the next words made Wooyeon feel tense.

“At what age did you manifest as an Alpha?”

It was the only hope Wooyeon had left after realizing Dohyeon was an Alpha. It was rare, but some people manifested as Alphas in adulthood. Maybe Dohyeon hadn’t been an Alpha when he tutored Wooyeon but had manifested after they parted ways. Wooyeon hadn’t let go of that possibility.

“Manifest…?”

Dohyeon only lifted his eyes to look at Wooyeon. As their light-colored eyes met, Dohyeon frowned slightly, as if trying to recall a memory. His soft lips parted, and a voice even softer followed.

“Fourteen… No, maybe fifteen.”

Wooyeon didn’t feel disappointed. He had never really believed it would be the case, so there was no point in feeling let down.

“I manifested at the same age as everyone else. What about you?”

“Around the same time…”

Still, there was a sense of regret. It felt like he had been holding on to a memory that had been overly romanticized. He was filled with a sense of loss so great it left him drained.

Because of this, Wooyeon forgot that Dohyeon was even there, lost in his gloom. As Wooyeon’s eyes drooped, Dohyeon murmured quietly.

“…That’s strange.”

“What is?”

Wooyeon’s response was out of politeness. Truthfully, he wasn’t really paying attention. Dohyeon slowly scanned Wooyeon’s face before blinking languidly.

“I thought you were pretending not to know.”

Wooyeon didn’t ask for clarification. Dohyeon, still gazing steadily at Wooyeon, asked him another question.

“Do you not remember me?”

* * *

“….”

His mind took a while to catch up. Or perhaps it reacted too quickly, skipping back four years in an instant. Wooyeon swallowed hard, trying his best not to look flustered.

“What do you mean…?”

His words trailed off, as if stuck. His heart dropped, and his pupils dilated in shock. His mind was a blank, unable to grasp what to say.

“You know, last time.”

Dohyeon’s tone remained casual. Even though he knew Wooyeon was flustered, he didn’t stop talking to spare him.

“We ran into each other at the front gate.”

“…”

“…That.”

Wooyeon’s eyes darted around. He opened the conversation but paused to think hard. If it was the front gate, it definitely wasn’t from the four years ago he was recalling.

“How do you even remember that?”

His astonished gaze turned to Dohyeon. Wooyeon let out a small, incredulous laugh as he tried to calm his racing heart, which finally returned to a normal pace.

It had just been a brief passing encounter. Wooyeon had spoken to him, but it was only for a fleeting moment. It wasn’t even yesterday; more than two weeks had passed, so it was surprising that Dohyeon remembered it.

“I’m just good at remembering people. And with how you look, it’d be harder not to remember you.”

Dohyeon sounded like he found it strange that Wooyeon didn’t remember. He added, with a hint of exasperation in his voice, that he wasn’t blind, after all. Feeling slightly offended, Wooyeon shot Dohyeon a glare.

“What’s so wrong with the way I look?”

“…”

Dohyeon frowned. After opening and closing his mouth a few times, he let out a short sigh. For some reason, it felt like he had lost interest.

“…Anyway.”

With that, his exasperated voice concluded the subject. Wooyeon discreetly exhaled in relief, soothing the tension in his chest. Then, suddenly, he questioned his own emotions.

The fact that Dohyeon had tutored him wasn’t exactly a secret. It wasn’t important enough to bring up, so he hadn’t mentioned it. Even if Dohyeon figured it out, it wouldn’t be a big deal. From the start, the very premise of it being “discovered” was strange.

“I was just going to let it go if you pretended not to know. It’s not that important, and it’d be awkward if I made a big deal about it.”

Dohyeon’s words mirrored Wooyeon’s own thoughts. Wooyeon had planned to play it off as though they were just passing acquaintances. Being nothing more than “Hoobae number three” felt perfectly adequate. Not “Hoobae number one” or even “Hoobae number two”—just comfortably distant, like “Hoobae number three.”

“But why’d you bring up Alphas, Wooyeon?”

Tapping the desk lightly as if to focus Wooyeon’s attention, Dohyeon directed his gaze toward him. Wooyeon, snapping out of his thoughts, followed the motion of Dohyeon’s fingertips. His neatly rounded nails gently tapped the surface of the desk.

“That makes me feel like I need to ask.”

A sense of foreboding suddenly swept over Wooyeon. Dohyeon’s voice was sweet, but Wooyeon’s instincts screamed at him to be cautious. That intense gaze, now fully focused on Wooyeon, deepened his sense of unease.

“Why did you ask me if I was an Alpha?”

The thought overwhelmed Wooyeon’s mind, paralyzing his ability to think clearly. He had let his guard down too soon. When Dohyeon had smiled kindly earlier, he should have changed the topic immediately. As Wooyeon broke out in a cold sweat, Dohyeon’s crescent-shaped eyes pressed him again.

“Hmm? Wooyeon?”

* * *

Fortunately, Wooyeon managed to avoid answering. The professor entered the lecture hall shortly after. As soon as they arrived, the professor began taking attendance and launched into an enthusiastic orientation using a PowerPoint presentation. For the first time in his life, Wooyeon fervently hoped the class would never end.

“That’s all for today.”

As soon as the professor wrapped up, Wooyeon closed his notebook and stood up. He needed to get out of the lecture hall as fast as possible. But before he could, a tall figure blocked his path.

“…”

Wooyeon glanced between the empty chair and the person standing next to it. He was sure he had hung his bag on the chair, but somehow it had ended up in Dohyeon’s hands. Dohyeon placed the bag back on the desk with a friendly smile.

“Pack up. Let’s grab lunch.”

Wooyeon’s hand trembled slightly as he held his notebook. He raised his head to decline, but Dohyeon had already snatched the notebook from his hands.

“Class ended early, so we’ve got an hour.”

Wooyeon had more than enough time before his next class to have a full course meal. No wonder he had been lamenting his messed-up schedule.

“I’ll treat you to something nice.”

Dohyeon smiled warmly, but it was the fake kind he’d just plastered on. Clutching his bag like a lifeline, Wooyeon resolutely tried to refuse.

“I’m not really—”

“Just eat.”

“…”

His first excuse was ruthlessly shot down, with Dohyeon even adding a jab about how Wooyeon’s slim figure made sense now. It was the first time Wooyeon had ever been told he was too thin.

“I’m not that hungry.”

“I am.”

“It’s not even lunchtime yet.”

“You skipped breakfast.”

“I’m supposed to meet a friend.”

“Kwon Seonkyu doesn’t have class today.”

“How do you even know that?”

This time, it was Dohyeon who was surprised. He stopped mid-sentence and blinked.

“Really? It’s a free day? I was just guessing.”

Wooyeon, at a loss for words, let go of the bag strap he had been holding. A victorious smile crept onto Dohyeon’s face. He finally grabbed his own bag and spoke in a softer tone.

“You’re coming, right?”

The club room, which had been locked, was filled with the chill of late winter. As Wooyeon shivered and zipped up his padded jacket, Dohyeon set down the bag he had taken and turned on the heater. It whirred to life, slowly releasing cool air at first.

“Sit wherever you’re comfortable.”

There were two sofas and a small bed. Wooyeon sat on the sofa closest to the entrance. Glancing at him, Dohyeon took off his coat and handed it to Wooyeon over the back of the sofa.

“It’ll take a while for the warm air to kick in. If you’re really cold, use this.”

Before Wooyeon could even thank him, Dohyeon walked over to the cabinet in the corner. Since he’d given Wooyeon his coat, Dohyeon was left in just a thin knit sweater.

Dohyeon probably would’ve offered his coat to anyone who was cold. At least, that’s how the Dohyeon Wooyeon knew was. When Wooyeon was sixteen, his heart might have fluttered at that, but now, he wasn’t so easily mistaken.

“…You don’t seem to feel the cold much.”

Wooyeon hadn’t meant to make the comment sound pointed. Dohyeon glanced at him but casually opened the cabinet. Thankfully, he didn’t seem offended.

“I feel it about as much as anyone.”

Wooyeon touched his ear, pulling the coat around him. The coat, oversized, carried a faint trace of pheromones. It wasn’t overwhelming, more comforting than burdensome, and had a dry, fresh scent. Even someone like Wooyeon, who didn’t care for Alphas, found it appealing.

For most Alphas and Omegas, pheromones create the first impression. Dohyeon probably sensed pheromones when he met Omegas too. If his pheromones matched his personality, his already abundant popularity would skyrocket.

Wooyeon, deep in thought, suddenly felt a sense of discomfort. Something seemed off, like a puzzle piece that almost fit but didn’t quite click. But his thoughts were interrupted when Dohyeon sat down across from him and asked,

“When’s your next class?”

He held a pen and a sheet of paper. As Wooyeon glanced at it, he realized it was a “Club Registration Form.” He answered quietly.

“Five o’clock.”

Dohyeon’s movements stopped. He furrowed his brow and tilted his head in confusion, a clear question in his dark eyes.

“Wait, five in the afternoon?”

“It’s not five in the morning.”

“Huh.”

Already used to that kind of reaction, Wooyeon pulled out his phone and showed Dohyeon his schedule. As Dohyeon skimmed through the list, he asked in disbelief,

“What did you do to end up with a schedule like that?”

What had he done? He’d tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep, missed the registration time, and clicked the wrong things. The real culprit behind it all was Kim Dohyeon.

“There’s still time to adjust your schedule. Beg your professors. They don’t want freshmen dropping out in the first week.”

“I already talked to the teaching assistant, but the professors are all too busy to meet right now.”

“Then wait until they’re free. Send an email or wait outside their office. But… don’t tell me you’ve been attending all the classes you plan to drop?”

“…”

“…Hah.”

Dohyeon rubbed his forehead with one hand. Not sure if Wooyeon was diligent or just clueless, he muttered,

“I’m not smart.”

“…Sorry, that was a slip of the tongue. How’d you even get into this school if you’re not smart?”

It was the truth, but Dohyeon didn’t seem to believe it. He waved it off and handed Wooyeon the pen.

“Here, sign this. You’re joining the club, right?”

Wooyeon slowly extended his hand out from under the coat. Looking like a silkworm emerging from a cocoon, he made Dohyeon chuckle softly.

“Are you still cold?”

Only then did Wooyeon realize the room had warmed up. The air around him was comfortable enough that he could take off his coat and padded jacket without feeling cold. Whether Dohyeon knew he was embarrassed or not, he hid his smile behind his hand.

“You can keep it on if you want.”

“…No, thank you. Your coat is really warm.”

Feeling the warmth rise to his face, Wooyeon took off his padded jacket. Dohyeon, who was about to put his coat back on, paused. He stared blankly, alternating his gaze between the coat and Wooyeon.

“Is something on it?”

Had it dragged on the floor? Wooyeon stood up, thinking it might have. Despite having been careful, the coat was long, so it was possible. Dohyeon muttered, still staring at the coat,

“Yeah, something did get on it.”

“Ah… I should’ve been more careful.”

Wooyeon extended his hand with an apologetic expression. He was about to apologize and offer to pay for cleaning when Dohyeon folded the coat and set it aside. Instead, he placed a pen in Wooyeon’s outstretched hand.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing.”

The moment their fingers touched, Wooyeon instinctively pulled away from Dohyeon. Surprised, Dohyeon’s expression turned rigid, and the pen fell to the floor, rolling away.

“S-sorry…”

It was already his second apology. Wooyeon clutched his withdrawn hand and hurriedly added an excuse.

“I didn’t mean to…”

His fingertips, where they had touched Dohyeon, felt hot. Though they hadn’t intertwined fingers, his face flushed bright red. His throat tingled, as if his pheromones were about to erupt.

“My bad, you must’ve been startled.”

To spare Wooyeon further embarrassment, Dohyeon picked up the pen that had rolled away and placed it in front of him, instead of handing it directly this time. Watching this, Wooyeon finally realized the source of the discomfort he had felt earlier.

“Take a seat, it’s fine.”

He hadn’t sensed any pheromones. Not during their first encounter, not from the coat either. Despite the distinct pheromones that usually emanated from an Alpha, Dohyeon gave off none. It was as if he were a Beta, merely carrying traces of someone else’s scent.

The unspoken questions filled Wooyeon’s throat. There were many things he wanted to ask, but he wasn’t sure he could handle the answers. If he brought up what had happened during orientation, as he had earlier, it would be more awkward for Wooyeon than for Dohyeon.

“Just fill out the blanks. Name, student ID number, department, and date of birth.”

As Wooyeon carefully filled in the form, he furrowed his brow slightly. Joining the club had been an unexpected turn of events, but the realization he had come to earlier was far more shocking. The fact that

was the one uncomfortable with the situation—when had he started thinking like that?

“For the motivation section, list three of your favorite classics. In the original English.”

“Do they have to be Shakespeare?”

“…No?”

If the professor hadn’t come to class earlier, Wooyeon might have explained everything from the past. He would’ve told Dohyeon that he had recognized him at first glance, felt betrayed when he found out he was an Alpha, and asked those questions out of disbelief. If he’d said all that, their relationship would have naturally been revealed.

“You can skip the email part.”

But when Wooyeon thought it through, the prospect seemed daunting. If Dohyeon remembered him, called him

, and recalled Wooyeon’s confession, would their relationship become distant or closer? Wooyeon was willing to bet everything on the former.

Hadn’t he already worried once that Dohyeon might find it creepy that Wooyeon had followed him to the same university? He could already imagine Dohyeon’s troubled expression the moment he realized Wooyeon was

.

“Hey… Sunbae.”

“What?”

“What year are you in?”

It’s easier to start with a blank canvas than to try and fix a ruined painting. Maybe it would be fine if they just remained Sunbae and Hoobae from the same department. He wasn’t trying to rekindle anything from the past—just exchanging greetings when they crossed paths. He had no intention of digging up old wounds.

“Third year.”

Wooyeon had already cried enough to wear out his heart. That day he confessed, everything had ended. Dohyeon quit tutoring him and immediately changed his phone number. The message “unknown” in his messenger and the recorded message saying the number no longer existed turned them into complete strangers.

“Give it to me when you’re done.”

One-sided goodbyes only need to happen once. At this point, it didn’t matter why Dohyeon changed his number or why he hadn’t reached out. Wooyeon had already let it go, and Dohyeon was no longer his teacher. Wooyeon was content to settle into their current relationship.

In a way, Dohyeon seemed to feel the same. Just as Dohyeon hadn’t mentioned his secondary gender, Wooyeon wasn’t planning to talk about the past. It wasn’t lying—it was simply staying silent. That way, if Dohyeon ever asked, Wooyeon could play it off.

“You have nice handwriting.”

That casual smile tugged at something in Wooyeon’s chest. How many times had the sixteen-year-old Wooyeon’s heart fluttered at that same smile? Now, with a bittersweet feeling, Wooyeon absentmindedly rubbed his earlobe with his left hand.

“Anything you want to eat?”

“No, not really…”

His heart, beating erratically, kept reminding him of its presence. All Wooyeon could think about was how much he wished it would calm down soon.

* * *

They never made it to lunch. It wasn’t long before Garam arrived. With her hair tied up in a high ponytail and wearing fluffy earmuffs, Garam brightened the moment she saw Wooyeon.

“Wow, Wooyeon! What a surprise!”

Even though they weren’t particularly close, Garam’s Alpha pheromones were immediately noticeable. Unlike Dohyeon’s, her typical Alpha scent made Wooyeon feel quite uncomfortable.

“I brought him here to submit his club application.”

“Oh, let me see.”

Garam took Wooyeon’s completed application and examined it thoroughly. Her face full of curiosity, she scanned the form until she spotted something that made her smirk. A teasing expression spread across her face as she let out a chuckle.

“This jerk made Wooyeon write it too.”

“Write what?”

Garam quickly slid next to Wooyeon, showing him the form. Her proximity, along with her strong pheromones, was overwhelming, but Wooyeon was still curious about what she was referring to.