Alpha Trauma

“Are you not hungry?”“No, not really.”Wooyeon hugged his bag tightly and leaned his head quietly against the car window. Despite saying he doesn’t let just anyone sit in the passenger seat, Dohyeon had let him sit there without a second thought. How was he supposed to not get his hopes up in moments like this?“I’ve already sat in the passenger seat three times.”Instead of responding, Dohyeon raised his eyebrows. As he stopped turning the ignition, he looked at Wooyeon steadily. Wooyeon blinked back, not avoiding his gaze.“…That’s true.”His response was rather bland. Dohyeon restarted the engine and shifted gears as if nothing had happened. The anticipation that had been bubbling up quietly settled down, calmed by his indifferent reaction.“…”“…”The road home felt unusually long today. Even though it was a walkable distance, a sense of anxiety kept creeping in. With the conversation having stalled, even breathing felt like it would be noticed.“You must have taken a suppressant.”As they neared home, Dohyeon finally broke the silence. Wooyeon mumbled a vague response, resting his chin on his bag.Dohyeon, familiar with the underground parking lot, parked the car near the entrance.“…We got here quickly.”Wooyeon muttered something insincere as he unbuckled his seatbelt. Dohyeon, without turning off the engine, simply gazed at him.After a brief pause, Dohyeon spoke slowly.“Get some rest. Let me know if you’re in pain.”“…”Wooyeon took a deep breath. His heart was pounding, and it felt like the pheromones he was trying to suppress might spill out at any moment. He tried several times to calm his breathing, but his heart wouldn’t settle. Finally, Wooyeon turned and looked directly at Dohyeon.“I don’t want to be alone.”It was still early, and the situation was ambiguous. Dohyeon had a supplemental class, and in five hours, Wooyeon’s heat cycle would begin. Despite knowing all of this, a desperate tone slipped from Wooyeon’s lips.“Stay with me tonight, Sunbae.”* * *No matter how often he came here, Wooyeon could never quite believe someone actually lived in such a spacious, lifeless home. The barren living room, the sparse sofa and table, the TV that covered one wall, and the clear view outside through floor-to-ceiling windows.Once for a study session, once for dinner, and now again for a different reason—this was the third time Wooyeon had brought Dohyeon here. Yet, seeing Dohyeon sitting on the sofa felt unfamiliar. His side profile as he watched TV looked the same as always, but Wooyeon felt a strange tension rising inside him.“…Are you okay with skipping your lecture?”In truth, asking him to stay over was almost like a gamble. It wasn’t something to say while the sun was still up, and Dohyeon already had plans. Even Wooyeon thought it was a ridiculous request, but a vague confidence had driven him to speak. Fortunately, Dohyeon had come up to the apartment without protest after getting out of the car.“They don’t check attendance anyway, so it’s fine.”Wooyeon didn’t know what was on Dohyeon’s mind, but that remark brought him a small sense of relief. At least things weren’t going off track, and that thought improved his mood a little.“And even if it’s not fine, it’s too late now.”Dohyeon tilted his head slightly, turning his eyes to look at Wooyeon. His gaze was direct, but Wooyeon didn’t mind much. Curled up with his knees pulled in, Wooyeon looked like a small animal that couldn’t quite lower its guard.“How are you feeling?”“I’m fine.”There were about four hours left before the suppressant would wear off. It wasn’t a long time, but the growing sense of urgency made it feel endless. As Wooyeon nervously checked the clock, a soft voice reached him.“Sounds like it’s your mood that’s not fine.”“…”Wooyeon clamped his mouth shut and stared at Dohyeon. Sitting apart on opposite ends of the sofa, there was a palpable distance between them. Dohyeon rested his arm on the back of the sofa and leaned his head sideways.“Is it because of that incident?”It was a direct question. Although Dohyeon hadn’t mentioned it explicitly, Wooyeon understood what he meant. He thought about the scene he had witnessed on the bed and shook his head indifferently.“I’m not worried about that anymore.”Just that morning, Wooyeon had been consumed by it. He’d barely slept, and all weekend, his mind had been filled with Dohyeon. But after overhearing their conversation, all those thoughts had vanished.“It’s in the past anyway…”If it hadn’t been for that incident, Wooyeon probably wouldn’t be thinking like this. Foolish as it might seem, this was his best choice for now.“…Is that so?”Dohyeon gave a low reply, vaguely covering his mouth. His eyes, now focused back on the TV, reflected only the flickering lights instead of Wooyeon. After a short pause, Dohyeon spoke again in his usual gentle voice.“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”Having abruptly asked him to stay the night, Wooyeon knew Dohyeon must have sensed something was off. He probably realized Wooyeon’s earlier comment about being sick was a lie the moment they got in the car. The fact that he hadn’t asked anything for the past hour must have been his way of showing consideration.“I just didn’t want to be alone.”Wooyeon rested his chin on his knees, pretending to be nonchalant. He could feel Dohyeon looking at him, but their eyes didn’t meet again. Instead, Wooyeon’s faint voice filled the gap between them.“So just stay with me tonight.”“…That’s an interesting thing to say.”Dohyeon, who had been staring off into space, murmured suddenly. Wooyeon unintentionally met his gaze and flinched. Dohyeon’s eyes gleamed with an intense, predatory focus.“Only tonight?”“…”His pitch-black eyes gleamed sharply. Something shifted in the air—it was clear the mood had changed. Before Wooyeon could respond, the weight of Dohyeon’s pheromones pressed heavily on him, squeezing his heart tight.“Then what about tomorrow?”“…!”For a moment, time seemed to stop. Like a stone tossed into a still lake, Dohyeon’s small pheromone release sent powerful ripples through the air. Wooyeon couldn’t even blink as he took a deep breath.It wasn’t a lot of pheromones. He hadn’t done it to hurt Wooyeon or put pressure on him. It was simply a natural reaction to his changing mood—nothing more, nothing less.Yet, even that small amount of pheromones twisted Wooyeon’s insides. His face paled, and his heart pounded so hard it felt like it would explode. Wooyeon curled up, sensing something was wrong, but by then, the pheromones had already started to flow uncontrollably.“Wooyeon.”Dohyeon, looking uncharacteristically alarmed, moved closer to Wooyeon. He closed the distance between them, gently wrapping his arm around Wooyeon’s shoulders as he examined his face. Wooyeon panted, lifting his head, but the moment their eyes met, it felt like something broke inside him.“Ah…”Pheromones surged out of Wooyeon like a tidal wave, flooding Dohyeon. The sweet, thick scent filled the air around them. Gasping for breath, Wooyeon instinctively burrowed into Dohyeon’s arms.“Ah…”His body didn’t feel like his own. Heat surged through his abdomen, and his chest heaved. His now-uncontrolled pheromones shamelessly sought out only Dohyeon, pouring out in a torrent.“…Ah.”Never before had Wooyeon experienced anything like this. Even during his heat cycle, Wooyeon had always maintained his composure. He’d taken his suppressants faithfully, and his natural desire was low. Never had his pheromones flowed so uncontrollably, enveloping someone else entirely.“Haa, haa…”But to feel this close to madness, the whole house was filled with nothing but Wooyeon’s pheromones. The scent was so strong that even Wooyeon found it hard to breathe through the overwhelming trail he left behind. His body pressed against Dohyeon’s, but his overheated state couldn’t be calmed by this alone.“…You.”Dohyeon looked at Wooyeon with a hardened expression. Desire was welling up in his dark eyes, but not a single drop of alpha pheromones was released. His teeth bit into his lower lip, and it looked like it wouldn’t be long before blood appeared.“What the hell is this…”Before Dohyeon could continue, Wooyeon lifted his gaze. Sure enough, blood began to seep from Dohyeon’s lips. Wooyeon reached out his hand, but before he could make contact, Dohyeon grabbed him abruptly.The world flipped. Dohyeon pinned both of Wooyeon’s wrists down onto the sofa. Wooyeon tilted his head back, gasping into the air, fingers curling. He didn’t resist at all and closed his eyes, which brought a faint sneer to Dohyeon’s lips.“…Something felt off.”As Wooyeon decided to give up on him, a thought surfaced. If he was going to give up, he at least wanted to leave a mark. Unlike four years ago, he wanted to carry a more intense memory of Dohyeon in his heart.“Well, since we’ve already done it once, the second time should be easier. You’re an alpha too, so if I beg and cling, you’ll give in, right? Since all alphas are the same, I can just give up after.” That line of thinking had led Dohyeon to this point.“What kind of nerve made you do this?”Dohyeon, still holding tightly to Wooyeon, spoke in clipped words. His bloodied lips gleamed prettily. The occasional blink was probably his way of holding onto the last threads of reason.“I just… Wooyeon…”“Wooyeon?”A short, dry laugh slipped out—not from Wooyeon, but from Dohyeon. He lowered his head and muttered in a flat voice.“You sure live up to your name.”Wooyeon marveled at how Dohyeon was still holding onto his rationality. Any other alpha would have long since lost control, but Dohyeon hadn’t even released any pheromones. He was gripping Wooyeon’s wrists hard enough to break them, but that was just a way to control himself.“…Sunbae.”So Wooyeon called out to him in a voice that was almost a whimper. Dohyeon blinked, as if urging him to continue. The fragile remains of his reason were visible beyond those dark eyes.“Sleep with me…”“…”“We already did it once…”His voice wavered, mixing with a sob. His instincts were screaming that something was wrong. According to Wooyeon’s original plan, Dohyeon should have lost control the moment he started emitting pheromones. He should have been wearing an expression of excitement, not this complicated look.“So just…”“Having sex with you here is no big deal, Wooyeon.”Dohyeon spoke in an unusually languid tone. His words dragged out slowly, as if his mind was working sluggishly.Then, in a voice that had sunk even lower, he added:“We didn’t sleep together.”The cold, rigid voice was so unlike Dohyeon that Wooyeon couldn’t believe it. His eyes widened as he replayed what Dohyeon had just said. Dohyeon kindly repeated it for him.“We didn’t sleep together that night.”Something Wooyeon had carefully built up crumbled to pieces. Instead of feeling relieved that nothing had happened, he was crushed by the realization that he was nothing to Dohyeon. Once he saw Wooyeon’s dazed expression, Dohyeon released his wrists.“Did you really think I’d take advantage of someone who’s lost their reason?”As he asked, Dohyeon slowly got up from the sofa. He staggered as his feet touched the floor but quickly regained his balance, shaking his head. His blurry eyes showed that he was dizzy from the overwhelming pheromones surrounding him.“Now that you know, let’s…”“Why did you lie?”Wooyeon grabbed onto Dohyeon with hands that had lost their strength. His grip on Dohyeon’s collar made Dohyeon take a step back, looking troubled. It reminded Wooyeon of that moment four years ago when his confession was rejected.“You knew I’d misunderstand… so why did you lie to me?”Now, a different kind of pheromone swirled around. This wasn’t about desire; it was about resentment and sorrow. Wooyeon had come this far with so many thoughts and feelings, and now, without any results, he was about to lose Dohyeon.Dohyeon calmly responded.“I never said anything.”“You said if you don’t say it, I wouldn’t know.”It was a contradictory statement. Yet even then, he held Wooyeon steady as he swayed. Wooyeon bit his lip, holding back his tears as he watched Dohyeon pull away again.“So, in the end, even that…”“You call that a lie?”Dohyeon cut off Wooyeon’s sentence, lifting the corner of his mouth slightly. It wasn’t a mocking smile, but it wasn’t a pleasant one either. He let out a few short laughs before speaking again in that familiar, gentle voice.“Yeon-ah.”Their eyes met. The pheromones seemed to stop, and it felt like the world held its breath. Dohyeon’s soft tone sounded like a whisper of resentment.“You’re the last person who should be saying that.”Wooyeon couldn’t say anything in response. As Dohyeon’s figure grew distant, his emotions became a tangled mess. The warm spring breeze was leaving him behind.* * *Loving someone always came with a certain responsibility—whether it was for your heart, your actions, or even a small word.Wooyeon didn’t want to hold onto feelings that he couldn’t handle. He didn’t want to be overwhelmed by emotions like dark clouds, nor did he want to be swept up in a raging storm. He only wanted to drift peacefully along calm waves.But then he met his teacher. He loved recklessly in his youth, suffered an agonizing heartbreak, and then reunited with him. Ever since he fell for him, Wooyeon’s heart had always been like a stormy sea.“Yeon-ah.”So in the end, drowning in the swirling storm was inevitable. Hearing his name called after four long years wasn’t as sweet as Wooyeon had imagined. The bitterness in his mouth and the sting in his throat were sensations he would never get used to, no matter how many times he experienced them.For an entire week, Wooyeon struggled in a flood of uncontrollable pheromones. His chaotic emotions surged, and every time he opened his eyes, his body burned with desire. Suppressants might have helped, but he was too overwhelmed to even think of taking them.The staff, including his attending physician, had grown accustomed to neglecting Wooyeon in such a state. If Wooyeon didn’t ask for help, they didn’t step in, and they carried out their duties within the bare minimum of their responsibilities. Sometimes, Wooyeon would think of Dohyeon and try to console himself, only to break into tears as he looked at his wrist, bruised and blue.“You shouldn’t be the one saying that.”How had he figured out that Wooyeon was that Seon Wooyeon? When Wooyeon couldn’t bring himself to call him “teacher” and struggled to address him as “Sunbae” to erase the traces of the past—when exactly during all those days had he found out?As he wrapped himself up in his blanket in distress, his thoughts branched in different directions. In the end, he hadn’t slept with Dohyeon and had gained nothing. Emptiness. Futility. The self-loathing that came from not even being able to become something to him.Now, he truly felt that everything was over. His wish to stay by his side as a mere junior was shattered, and his resolve to give up after one experience had failed as well. What remained in Wooyeon’s heart were scars that could never heal, and a mind that was already torn to shreds.“Your pheromone levels have returned to normal… all your other indicators are also fine.”Wooyeon got out of bed after a whole week. It had been his longest heat cycle to date, and by far the most painful experience. Since the bedroom was a complete mess, the first thing he did when he regained his senses was move to a different room.“You’ll be fine to return to school by tomorrow.”The attending physician said this while subtly observing Wooyeon’s wrist. The faint traces of the bruises still looked like evidence of abuse. Wooyeon, aware of this fact, pulled down his sleeves to cover his wrist.“Don’t tell my mom.”His voice cracked, weak and broken. His lips were dry and cracked too, from not even drinking water properly. As the doctor hesitated to respond, Wooyeon repeated himself, more composed this time.“As you know, this isn’t a request.”The doctor, his expression conflicted, kept his mouth shut. Wooyeon usually let them report to his mother, but telling them not to must have caused hesitation.Swallowing a sigh without making it obvious, the doctor spoke cautiously.“At least let me give you some ointment for the bruise…”“I said it’s fine. You can leave now.”Wooyeon deliberately took no measures for the bruise on his wrist. The blue mark served as a vivid reminder of what had happened that day—Dohyeon rejecting him, stepping back while suppressing his instincts, drawing an unmistakable line between them.“I wasn’t hit. If anything, it was the opposite.”In many ways, he wasn’t like a typical Alpha. He was unusually gentle, uncharacteristically sensitive, and far more rational than what one would expect from an Alpha. If he had lost control and rushed in, Wooyeon could’ve consoled himself that it was just typical Alpha behavior.“Next time, bring a different kind of suppressant.”Unable to break Wooyeon’s stubbornness, the physician finally turned to leave. He cast a few worried glances at Wooyeon, but clearly knew he wouldn’t get a response. However, there was still a good chance he would report the wrist in some form or another.Even after the doctor left, Wooyeon remained sitting on the bed for a long while. The rarely used second-floor bedroom had a view of the clear blue sky if you sat up straight. He traced his wrist with his fingertips, counting the clouds floating across the sky.If the teacher saw the bruise, he would definitely make an apologetic face. Even after what happened between them, he would look at Wooyeon with that same kind, concerned expression.Even though he knew he had to give up now, just thinking of Dohyeon made his heart ache.* * *Returning to school after a week, Wooyeon found the campus unusually lively. The students were all excited, and random piles of trash were scattered everywhere. Feeling out of place in the unfamiliar atmosphere, Wooyeon headed to his first class on Wednesday.“Wooyeon! Are you feeling better?”As soon as Wooyeon entered the classroom, Seonkyu greeted him in a fuss. He rambled on about how worried he had been since he couldn’t reach him, asking what on earth had kept him sick for so long. His constant chatter made it clear he had been genuinely concerned.“I heard you were sick, but I didn’t expect you to be out for so long…”Seonkyu’s worries didn’t cease until the professor entered and began the lecture. It was through others’ words that Wooyeon learned his skin had become rough, his lips were chapped, and his face had become gaunt.“Garam Noona was really worried about you too. Let’s stop by the student lounge and say hi after class.”Wooyeon already knew that Garam had been worried, thanks to the messages on his phone. Although she hadn’t called, there were plenty of messages that practically begged for a voice response. But since Wooyeon’s phone had died, he only discovered all the missed messages that morning.“Alright, let’s ask the Sunbaes to buy us something nice.”Seonkyu was quick to gather his things, ready to head to the club room as soon as the professor left. The moment Wooyeon packed his bag, Seonkyu—who had been waiting—slung his own bag over his shoulder. It was a considerate gesture toward his friend, who Seonkyu claimed had grown thin. However, it reminded Wooyeon of the time Dohyeon had taken his bag hostage.“Noona might cry when she sees you. I thought she’d lost a puppy or something.”According to Seonkyu, Garam had looked miserable ever since Wooyeon left. She must have thought he’d be back in a day or two, but when he didn’t return to school for the entire week, she nearly went to his house, only to be stopped by Dohyeon with a stern expression.“By the way, everything’s fine with Dohyeon-hyung, right?”Wooyeon, who had clammed up at the mention of Dohyeon, gave a strained smile at the follow-up question. He managed to ask “Why?” with some difficulty, prompting Seonkyu to frown.“Well, it’s nothing major, but since the day after he took you home, his vibe’s been weird.”Wooyeon didn’t press further and simply waited for Seonkyu to continue. After carefully gauging Wooyeon’s reaction, Seonkyu rubbed his chin and spoke up.“He’s been smiling like usual, but there’s this strange tension. He didn’t used to smoke much, but suddenly, he’s smoking a lot. And whenever you ask him something, his responses are slower.”“…”Even though he knew it was immature, Wooyeon felt a small sense of satisfaction. It gave him a twisted sense of victory, knowing that he wasn’t the only one affected. Still, it stung that, despite drawing the line himself, Dohyeon seemed upset about it.“I got rejected.”Wooyeon responded calmly as he placed his hand on the door to the club room. Seonkyu, who had been caught off guard, froze in place.“…Why?”“What do you mean, why?”“I mean…”Seonkyu mumbled incomprehensibly. He muttered things like how he didn’t expect that, or how it couldn’t possibly be true. His words of disbelief floated around Wooyeon’s ears, but Wooyeon acted like he didn’t hear them and opened the club room door.“Noona, we’re here.”As usual, Garam was precariously seated on a makeshift bed. With her long hair hanging forward, she almost looked like a ghost. She glanced up and, upon seeing Wooyeon, immediately lit up.“Wooyeon!”She approached him in large strides, looking like she was about to throw her arms around him but stopping just short of touching him. Her long, slanted eyes were more teary than ever.“Are you okay now? Is all the pain gone? Oh my, you’ve become so gaunt.”“Oh my, oh my,” she cried a few times as she examined Wooyeon up and down. Seonkyu had said she looked like someone who had lost a puppy, but she resembled a large dog greeting its long-lost owner more than anything.While Garam was observing Wooyeon, Seonkyu stepped inside, his face still carrying a hint of unease.“Still, it seems like the saying holds true—original beauty doesn’t change. He’s gotten thinner, but he’s still handsome, so it’s fine.”With a wide grin, Garam nodded in satisfaction. Wooyeon, feeling a bit awkward, rubbed his earlobe at the suggestion that he could eat anything he wanted today. While he appreciated the concern, it didn’t feel like something worth so much attention.“I wasn’t sick; it was my heat cycle.”“Heat?”Seonkyu tilted his head in confusion as he set his bag on the table. As a beta, it likely felt strange for him to hear someone took a week off because of a heat cycle. In contrast, Garam seemed to sympathize, looking at Wooyeon with a pained expression.“Do suppressants not work for you?”“No, they usually work fine, but something must’ve been off this time.”“Oh, that must have been rough, especially for a dominant… Wait a second.”Garam suddenly stopped speaking, her expression hardening in an instant. Her face, already sharp, became even more intimidating as her gaze grew cold. Narrowing her eyes, she asked again, her voice firm.“You said it was your heat cycle?”Wooyeon nodded slowly, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong. Garam’s intense aura made him feel nervous. Garam’s deep brown eyes locked onto Wooyeon.“On that day, with Kim Dohyeon…”Before Garam could finish, a soft voice came from behind Wooyeon.“What about me?”Startled, Wooyeon felt a dull ache in his chest as he slowly turned around. Dohyeon stood there, speaking in his usual calm tone, his hand resting not on the door handle but on the side of the doorframe.“I guess we need to fix this door.”* * *“Did you finish early again today?” Garam was the first to break the silence. Her tone was playful, sarcastically suggesting that their professor must be slacking off to let Dohyeon finish so early for just a two-credit course.Dohyeon closed the door, only for it to slide open again, which he watched silently.“How long has it been like this?”“What, the door? It’s been like this for a while.”After seeing Dohyeon for the first time in a week, the sight of his neat profile made Wooyeon realize he had missed him. It felt strange, especially considering they hadn’t seen each other for four years before. Maybe it was because they had been seeing each other almost every day in the clubroom lately.Wooyeon moved toward the sofa where Seonkyu sat, trying to act as natural as possible. Seonkyu subtly watched Dohyeon as soon as he entered the room, trying not to be too obvious about it. While discussing whether to fix the door, they managed to prop the handle in place and walked further inside.“Wooyeon, want to go out for a smoke?”The moment Dohyeon sat down across from him, Seonkyu stood up awkwardly. He had never specifically asked Wooyeon to go out for a smoke before, but it was clear he was trying to give Dohyeon some space. It was a perfect excuse to step away, but Wooyeon chose not to run from the situation.“I’m trying to quit smoking now.”It wasn’t like he had never smoked, but this was the best response he could offer. Seonkyu took it casually, saying, “Oh right, you said you were quitting,” as he lightly patted Wooyeon’s back in a way that felt oddly comforting.“Hey, Seonkyu, let’s go with Noona.”Standing up, Garam wrapped an arm around Seonkyu’s shoulder. Since she didn’t offer the invitation to Dohyeon, it was clear she assumed Dohyeon would decline. Seonkyu looked back at Wooyeon a few times but left the room without a word.“……”“……”The poorly closed door opened again after just a moment. Wooyeon, unable to bear the rising awkwardness, got up to close it, but the broken door wouldn’t stay shut no matter how hard he tried. Left with no choice, Wooyeon leaned against the door and looked at Dohyeon.“Sunbae.”Ever since his heat cycle ended, Wooyeon had been waiting for this moment. The moment when he’d be alone with Dohyeon, able to ask him the questions that had been building up, pretending to stay calm while seeking answers. This might be his first and last chance to resolve his curiosity.“Can we talk?”His heart pounded too fast. If he had stayed on the sofa, Dohyeon might have heard it. Dohyeon watched him with the same calm gaze, waiting for him to continue.“When did you know?”There was no need to specify what he was asking about. Even though it had been a week since the incident, Dohyeon surely expected this question to come up. As expected, he didn’t ask for clarification and simply answered.“From the start.”“……”How was Wooyeon supposed to feel right now? Should he have expected it, or should he be surprised?One thing was certain: after the days filled with endless surprises, this answer didn’t make his heart sink like he thought it would.“How?”Yes, this was the key part. Not when, but how. It wasn’t about when Dohyeon had realized that he was “the” Seon Wooyeon, but how he had figured it out. What had Wooyeon let slip that made him realize everything? That was the simplest curiosity.“Well…”Dohyeon spoke slowly, as if choosing his words carefully. He lowered his gaze for a moment before looking back at Wooyeon.“There were too many strange things to ignore.”Wooyeon had a few ideas of what he meant. He had almost called him “teacher” several times, and he’d known things about Dohyeon that seemed too familiar. For someone as sharp as Dohyeon, it would have been harder not to notice.“Yunwoo hyung mentioned it. He said you asked him if I knew Kim Dohyeon.”As Dohyeon spoke, he pulled his phone out of his pocket. The moment he looked away, Wooyeon let out a quiet breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in.“It was strange that you knew my name but didn’t know I was the club president. You wanted to join the club, but you didn’t ask any questions about it. And instead of asking how old I was, you asked what year I was in.”Dohyeon handed Wooyeon his phone. The three letters spelling “Seon Wooyeon” stood out clearly on the screen.“When do you think this number was saved?”“Since four years ago.” That single sentence hit him hard.In hindsight, it made sense. He had assumed that since Dohyeon had changed his number, he would have deleted Wooyeon’s as well. Wooyeon had never changed his number, but he hadn’t imagined that Dohyeon would still have his contact information.“Same name, same phone number, same birthday, even the same handwriting—how could I not figure it out?”“……”“You may not realize it, but you still touch your ear when you’re embarrassed.”Wooyeon instinctively lowered his hand that was about to touch his ear. Being called out for a habit he wasn’t even aware of felt strange.Dohyeon spoke in a polite but firm tone, driving his point home.“Just because someone’s appearance changes doesn’t mean they become a different person.”The nuance was clear—it was impossible not to recognize him. The way Dohyeon looked at him now was exactly the same as how he had looked at him on the terrace not long ago. Wooyeon, at a loss for words, weakly lowered his head.“I told you, I’m good at remembering people.”Dohyeon’s sharp awareness was undeniable. Even Kang Joonseong, who had known Wooyeon much longer, hadn’t recognized him until he’d been told directly. Even his own mother had been shocked by his transformation. Yet, Dohyeon spoke as if it was obvious that he had always known—despite only having known Wooyeon for a few months as a tutoring student.“…Is that why you wanted to be nice to me?”Memories of his time with Dohyeon flooded his mind. Meeting him for the first time after entering university, joining the same club and going on trips together, once again feeling those familiar emotions. And then, repeating the same mistakes while caught up in the fluttering emotions.“Were you being nice because you felt bad for rejecting me before?”There was no response. Wooyeon instinctively realized that his guess wasn’t wrong. His face twisted into a self-deprecating smile.“This is really cruel.”If pity was the only reason, it shouldn’t have been this way. If Dohyeon knew it would hurt him, it would’ve been kinder to cut things off completely. Nothing is more cruel than giving hope for emotions that won’t be reciprocated.“Yeon-ah.”“Don’t call me that.”His suppressed emotions surged up. A name that once brought comfort now felt like a signal for his tears to break free. The sweet emotion that once melted his heart had long since turned bitter, gnawing away at him from the inside.“You should’ve just pretended you didn’t know.”Wooyeon covered his eyes with one hand and exhaled deeply. His breath, trembling intermittently, was thick with pheromones. His flushed lips moved ever so slowly.“If you had, I wouldn’t be so embarrassed.”If there was a way to disappear from sight right now, he would’ve taken it. He didn’t want to know how pathetic he must have seemed, revealing all his cards from the start.“I was waiting for you to tell me.”Dohyeon’s voice was calm. His unshaken demeanor in this situation only made Wooyeon more upset. He had been thrown into turmoil all day, but he couldn’t leave even a crack in Dohyeon. The thought crushed him.“I figured you had your reasons for not saying anything, so I thought I’d wait until you told me yourself.”“Then why did you…!”“You weren’t planning on saying anything, were you?”Dohyeon’s dark eyes moved slowly. He stood up and approached Wooyeon until he was right in front of him. The overwhelming pheromones wrapped around Wooyeon, holding him in place.“If I had hugged you back then, you would’ve just run away, Yeon-ah.”His soft voice dropped a tone. Wooyeon tried to back away, but there was a door behind him. He clenched his fists tightly and glared at Dohyeon.“Would that have been so wrong?”“…”“You’re right, I wasn’t planning on saying anything. But why does that matter?”There had been a reason why Wooyeon had decided not to reveal the truth. Or rather, why he had justified not saying anything at all.“You’re an Alpha too, right?”His voice came out rough. Dohyeon’s face stiffened for a moment.“You pretended like you weren’t one around me.”If they hadn’t met again, Wooyeon would’ve never known. He wouldn’t have known that Dohyeon was an Alpha, much less a dominant one, or that he had such a gentle pheromone.“So were you ever planning on telling me?”The emotions that had been building up finally spilled over as tears. His vision blurred, and he couldn’t make out Dohyeon’s expression. The pheromones in the air swirled around chaotically, too mixed up to tell whose they were.“Why are Alphas always like this?”Wooyeon raised his hand to wipe the tears streaming down his face, leaving a trail down his pale cheek.“I didn’t want to like you… but I did.”If he had known Dohyeon was an Alpha, he wouldn’t have fallen for him. It was too late to assign blame; the problem had been there from the very beginning. Dohyeon had been a source of comfort, but he hadn’t taken responsibility for the feelings that had grown out of control.“I’m not going to like you anymore.”With that, Wooyeon turned his body and grabbed the door handle, ready to leave and abandon all his feelings behind.But before he could open the door, Dohyeon’s strong hand grabbed his arm.“…I made a mistake.”His gentle voice now sounded colder than ever. Dohyeon lifted Wooyeon’s sleeve to reveal a wrist bruised blue. Without another word, Dohyeon closed the door with his other hand.“What’s the point of holding onto your conscience now?”The sound of the door clicking shut was sharp and clear. Trapped between the door and Dohyeon, Wooyeon blinked a beat too late. The tears that had welled up dropped to the floor.“…What are you—”“Yeon-ah.”Dohyeon’s sweet voice felt like a spell. Wooyeon stood frozen, unable to push him away or resist. His lips parted blankly. Dohyeon wiped away Wooyeon’s tears with his thumb and slowly lowered his head.“Look at me.”There was an undeniable force in his quiet command. Ever since their tutoring days, Wooyeon’s body had always reacted to his teacher’s words. At the end of his gaze, he saw Dohyeon’s eyes staring directly at him.“…”Then, their lips touched.Wooyeon’s pupils dilated, and a surge of pheromones flooded the air. His eyes widened, and his eyelids trembled. The warmth that had approached like a feather now felt hot enough to melt him.It felt like Dohyeon was giving him time to adjust. His lips pressed down gently, not moving forward or retreating, as if waiting for Wooyeon.Finally, after a long pause, Dohyeon bit down softly on Wooyeon’s lower lip.“…!”A jolt shot through him. Like an electric shock, the strange sensation climbed up his spine. Wooyeon instinctively pushed Dohyeon’s shoulder as hard as he could. The sound of impact was sharp, but Dohyeon didn’t seem to care and simply stepped back.“What… what are you doing?”The pheromones in the air were too mixed to tell whose they were. His breath, now ragged, was filled with heat. Amid the precarious atmosphere, Dohyeon spoke in a calm voice.“I did it because I was worried.”His tone was self-deprecating. Wooyeon, who had seemed ready to snap, closed his mouth the moment Dohyeon spoke. In his usual soft tone, Dohyeon continued quietly.“I was worried about you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I tried to be nice. At first.”“…”“I couldn’t have missed it—you liking me. It was so obvious. How could I not know?”His dry pheromone slowly surrounded Wooyeon. Dohyeon’s unique refreshing scent eased his anxious heart.“I tried to draw a line, but it wasn’t easy. At first, I was just concerned. Then, I felt guilty. I knew I shouldn’t, but it felt too good to be liked by you.”“…”“Before I knew it, it was too late.”Dohyeon cautiously extended his hand toward Wooyeon, ensuring not to startle him. He gently cupped Wooyeon’s clear cheek, softly brushing his thumb over the corner of his eye, where traces of tears still lingered. His eyes were still slightly red from crying.“You were sixteen, Yeon-ah.”Wooyeon parted his lips, his expression blank. He hadn’t considered that Dohyeon’s words, “It’s too late,” referred to four years ago. Dohyeon blinked slowly, speaking in a voice as gentle as ever.“You were too young for me to love.”It was an entirely reasonable explanation. The reason for that long-past rejection wasn’t far from what Wooyeon had expected. His confused mind spoke before he had a chance to think it through.“…But now I’m twenty.”“Twenty?”In an oddly mismatched reaction, Dohyeon let out a thin laugh. His smile was sweet, as though he found Wooyeon endearing, though his next words were incredibly cruel.“When I was your age, it took me about a month to forget someone I liked.”“I’m not that easy to—!”“You shouldn’t forget easily.”Dohyeon replied firmly, his hand brushing the side of Wooyeon’s ear. His cautious touch, as if handling something fragile, felt more sensual than anything else.“That’s why I’ve been waiting.”Wooyeon’s body shuddered, a chill running down his spine. The predator-like glint Dohyeon sometimes showed sent an instinctual sense of danger through him.“Yeon-ah, I’m not as good a person as you think.”Despite the content of his words, Dohyeon’s tone was incredibly tender. If Wooyeon listened for too long, his heart might just soften and melt.“If I was going to end up liking you, I wanted to be in control of my emotions.”If I was going to like you. The very idea was thrilling. It was a thought Wooyeon had never even dared to hope for, especially not from Dohyeon’s lips.“To be honest, I didn’t expect to get this serious…”Dohyeon let out a slightly troubled laugh as he withdrew his hand from Wooyeon. Wooyeon found the lingering warmth tantalizing, leaving him wanting more.“If you’re mistaking your old feelings for something else, then I’d be the one losing out.”“I’m not mistaken.”Wooyeon’s voice trembled, uncertain if it was from anticipation, excitement, or the last remnants of anxiety. His emotions were a mess, but rather than feeling overwhelmed, he felt at ease.Just as Wooyeon had previously said he was “now twenty,” Dohyeon gave a reply that was equally as cutting.“To me, you’re still young.”Whether twenty or twenty-four, it felt the same to Wooyeon. Sure, Dohyeon was a mature adult, but Wooyeon was now the same age as Dohyeon had been then.“Sunbae.”Wooyeon deliberately avoided using the old term “teacher.” Just as he was no longer a middle school student, Dohyeon was no longer his teacher. In the end, all these concerns seemed unnecessary.“You said something about not needing a conscience.”Dohyeon let out a small laugh, as if resigned. Reaching out once again, he pulled Wooyeon into his arms. Trapped in his broad embrace, Wooyeon tightly gripped Dohyeon’s collar.“I like you.”His heart pounded as if it would burst. The sound of his heartbeat thumped loudly, almost as though he had just sprinted. Despite looking outwardly composed, Dohyeon seemed to be no different.“I like you so much that I wanted to hold onto you with a ridiculous lie about us sleeping together.”“…”“So don’t say you’re going to stop liking me now.”Wooyeon had so many things he wanted to say, but they all got stuck in his throat. Dohyeon stroked his back once, then again, before whispering softly into his ear.“What’s your answer?”“…”Wooyeon buried his face into Dohyeon’s chest, unable to respond. He feared that if he said anything, this precious moment would crumble to pieces.