Antidote

It was a late afternoon, and Lisbeth’s expression wasn’t good when she returned from her outing.At that time, I was in Lisbeth’s inner chamber, fixing Kirsten’s broken toy soldier. Lisbeth entered with a few knights, and then she sent both me and Kirsten out. I quickly left the chamber, carrying Kirsten in my arms. Though Kirsten had grown too heavy for me to easily carry, he still liked to cling to me. The boy’s soft hands wrapped around my neck.Just before the door fully closed, I heard Lisbeth’s angry voice slip through the gap.“What on earth is the Duke of Karlac thinking? How could he cause such a mess in the royal court…?”Thud. The door shut. Kirsten waved the hand holding the toy soldier in the air.“Slan, hurry, hurry!”I turned my gaze away from the door. Carrying Kirsten, I headed toward the terrace.The second-floor terrace was wide enough for children to run around, and the garden trees were well-kept. Beside the balcony railing, which was covered in pink terracotta tiles, tall date palms cast long leaves. The broad surfaces of the leaves gleamed under the gentle spring sunlight.I sat on a marble chair placed in front of the railing with Kirsten. Kirsten crawled under the marble table and started playing around, while I shifted my gaze back to the broken arm of the toy soldier.Though my hands were working, my mind was elsewhere. Lisbeth’s last words, which I had overheard through the door crack, lingered in my head.What on earth had happened in the Karlac court to make Lisbeth so angry?Lisbeth had lost her health after giving birth three years ago and had since stepped down from her position as a court knight. Though she sometimes attended court or had visits from knights who had once followed her, unlike Lister, she held no official position. It was safe to say she was semi-retired. Other than taking me in after my title was revoked and I was reduced to the status of a slave two years ago, she hadn’t been much involved in Karlac politics.Among the knights who had entered with Lisbeth, there were a few familiar faces. Two of them were definitely court knights…At that moment, someone tugged on my sleeve, snapping me out of my thoughts.Kirsten was hiding under my chair, pretending to be innocent. I put down the toy soldier and poked Kirsten’s back under the chair.“I didn’t pull it! It wasn’t me!”Kirsten giggled and rolled around on the floor.I stood up and, grabbing Kirsten by the sides, hoisted him into the air as he crawled away on all fours. The boy flapped his arms in the air, laughing gleefully.Just then, an elderly nanny came out onto the terrace. She was holding a tray with Kirsten’s snacks on it. As she set the tray down on the table, she smiled and spoke to me.“I’ll take care of the young master now. You can head inside.”“But…”“The wizard is here.”At those words, I nodded with a quiet “Ah.”It was the usual periodic check-up.Ever since I had an episode two years ago, the wizards of Karlac had been monitoring my madness regularly. There hadn’t been much progress, but as long as the medicine could keep my madness at bay, I was content with that.“They’ll be checking your foot today as well. The lady ordered it,” the nanny added as she took Kirsten from my arms.“Thank you.”I offered a brief thanks, pinching Kirsten’s cheek as he lay in the nanny’s embrace.“See you later, Kirsten.”Kirsten giggled again.Since Lisbeth and the knights were in the large reception room, the wizard was waiting for me in a small guest room across from it. When I entered, the wizard, who had been standing by the window, turned around.It was a woman I had never seen before.Her hair was long, the black braid reaching past her hips, with a few strands of gray peeking through. Like most Karlac wizards, she wore a long robe with a hood, and aside from the navy blue embroidery on the sleeves, it was plain. She was small and frail, almost swallowed by the robe. On her pinky finger, she wore the emblem ring of the Karlac wizards.She looked to be about fifty years old… Until now, the wizard who had been regularly examining me for the past two years was a younger man named Enric. Why had they changed to a new person now?As I made a hesitant face, she briefly bowed her head and raised it again.“My name is Ida. From today, I will be the one to examine you, Lord Slan.”“And Enric?”“Enric is unwell.”Her voice was somewhat curt.I quietly accepted the explanation. When I sat down in the chair, she approached me.“How is your health?”“Hmm… just the same as usual.”“I heard from the lady that you’ve been feeling better lately?”“I’m not feeling bad. Why?”It was a strange conversation. I glanced up at her. Instead of answering, Ida pulled a small chair in front of me and sat down.“Are you taking your medicine regularly?”“Yes.”“What did you have for dinner last night?”“What?”“Your dinner last night.”I frowned at the question.“Steamed pig ears and bean soup… why?”“And the day before that?”The wizard continued her questioning, ignoring my reaction.“…It was cooked rice, I think. I skipped breakfast, and for lunch, I had wheat bread and smoked ham.”At that, Ida touched her chin with her hand.I started to feel uneasy.“Is there a problem?”“No. I was just checking because I heard Lord Slan has been experiencing memory issues. Let’s see… how was last month?”“It was before Lisbeth returned, so I was just the same as usual.”“Do you recall any specific events?”“I remember most of it. No problems.”When I responded, Ida fell silent.“Let’s talk about something else. Do you remember the coronation?”At that question, I tilted my head.The wizard’s bluish eyes quietly observed me. I tried to read the emotion in those eyes but failed.I let out a short sigh. I answered her question while trying not to let any emotion show in my voice.“Two years ago, right? I remember. At the time, I was still at Helga’s Tower, but…”“…Do you also remember Helga’s Tower?”“Of course.”I answered, a bit curtly.How could I forget two years ago?The day I pushed my father down the stairs to his death, the long trial that followed, Helga’s Tower, and my mother, who couldn’t bear the sins of her only son and took her own life.The late Duke of Karlac collapsed from the shock and never recovered. It was the Duke’s younger sister, Lady Halden, who inherited the crown at the coronation.Naturally, I couldn’t attend the coronation, and I didn’t leave Helga’s Tower until long after everything was over and had come to Glenberg Manor.Ida’s gaze remained on me.I turned my face slightly to avoid her stare, but her eyes followed the movement to my profile.“And… do you remember anything before the coronation?”I let out another sigh.“I remember some things, and some I don’t.”“What do you remember?”“I don’t think you’re asking for my whole life story…”“My apologies.”She bowed her head.“It’s just… well… Lord Slan.”There was a brief hesitation on her face.“Do you remember me?”At that question, I turned my head and looked directly at her without thinking.A wrinkled face, graying hair, drooping eyes, and faded eyebrows…It was an unfamiliar face.My breath grew slightly ragged.“…No.”“I see.”Her face returned to its professional expression.At that moment, footsteps sounded outside the door. We both turned to look at the door almost simultaneously. It opened, and Lisbeth entered.Lisbeth, who had visited the royal court today, was dressed differently from her usual simple attire. A long, pleated red dress trailed behind her, and a crown made of pearls and silver adorned her black hair.“How is it?”Lisbeth gave me a brief nod before immediately turning to the wizard with a question. The wizard politely responded.“There are no signs of the madness recurring.”I felt relieved at that answer.However, Lisbeth’s strict expression did not change. After a brief silence, she asked again.“Does that mean the symptoms might be completely cured?”“That’s not the case.”With her head deeply bowed, Ida continued speaking.“I’m considering adjusting the medication a little. The symptoms of madness vary by patient and stage. Instead of continuing with the current prescription, it would be better to switch to something new.”“Is that so?”Lisbeth’s gaze shifted toward me.“Slan is experiencing memory issues, right? What about that?”“It’s neither improving nor worsening. There’s no significant recovery, but no deterioration either.”“I see…”Lisbeth placed her hand on my shoulder. Her thin fingers, with the bones visible, gripped my shoulder firmly before letting go.“Go ahead and change the medication. After that, we’ll monitor the condition and decide. Will you be the one to come next time too? Is Enric still in poor health?”“Well, the winter fever hasn’t subsided yet, so it’s hard to say when he’ll recover. I’ll be the one coming for the time being. Don’t worry. I’ve been fully informed of all the details by Enric.”“It’s not that I’m worried about.”Her sharp gaze scanned the wizard up and down.“You came here through Sir Lars’s introduction, right?”“Yes.”“When did you receive the ring?”“It’s been ten years now.”“Before that, were you in Sir Lars’s estate?”“Yes.”At that polite answer, Lisbeth nodded.“Take good care of Slan. I have to leave now… I had to step out in the middle of something.”After that, Lisbeth looked at me.“Let me know later if anything happens.”“I will.”She gently took my hand for a moment and then let go. Then, she left the room. I watched her long gown drag across the hallway floor as the door closed behind her.Once the door shut, Ida approached me again. She no longer asked any questions. Just like Enric had done before, she took my wrist to check my temperature, pricked my finger with a sterilized needle to collect a drop of blood into a glass vial, and then disinfected the pricked spot with alcohol.She also examined my ankle.“Your condition isn’t bad. Regular massages will help. It’s also good to cover it with a hot towel.”“My memory…”When I started speaking, Ida’s eyes looked up at me.I continued speaking slowly.“Recently, I’ve started to remember a few things… I’ve also had some dreams. Probably dreams of the past.”The wizard remained silent.After a long silence, she finally spoke again.“What kind of memories?”“Just…”I hesitated for a moment.“Things about the Lord of Ipsen… and times when I left Karlac Castle. Things like that.”I thought she would be surprised, but she wasn’t. Perhaps she had been through too much to be surprised by something so trivial. Ida calmly responded.“That’s not a bad symptom. There are many patients with memory issues who regain their past through dreams. Though, of course, only in mild cases…”Her words trailed off as she turned and opened her bag. A small bottle of medicine rolled out from it.“This is the new medication.”She opened the bottle, and a few pills rolled into her hand.“Three white ones, and one green one. Make sure to take them exactly as instructed. Of course, I’ll also make sure to inform your servant.”She closed the bottle again.“I’ve been instructed not to give the bottle directly to Lord Slan…”After a brief explanation, she closed the bag. I nodded. It wasn’t strange to me since others had always handled my medication.The wrinkled hand that had been closing the bag paused for a moment. Ida straightened up and looked at me.“Lord Slan.”When I nodded, she briefly parted her lips.“…It would be best not to mention your memories to anyone else. There’s no need to go out of your way to do so. As you know, we’re still not certain at what stage the symptoms are.”Her voice was so quiet and fast that if it weren’t just the two of us here, I would have missed it.As soon as Ida finished speaking, she closed her bag and bowed to me.“It was nice to see you again after so long. I’m relieved to see you’re in good health.”Like Ismion, who had offered to bring me tangerine tea with cinnamon, or Jiyod, who had said she would plant grapevines instead of laurels in the garden for me, could this wizard also be someone who knew me?I desperately searched my memory. Was there any small remnant of her left between the decayed, tattered parts of my temporal lobe?But there was nothing.The wizard left.Only a sense of defeat and helplessness remained.A few days later, Lisbeth summoned me.She was not in the drawing room but in her private office. As I entered the room, she gestured for me to come to the desk, offering a faint smile. My eyes naturally fell to the desk, and at the same moment, Lisbeth carelessly set down the quill beside her. Ink dripped from the pen nib, leaving a stain on the desk. I followed the trail of the dark ink with my eyes. The document bore a clear Glenberg seal, suggesting it had come from there.Lisbeth was a typical knight, not particularly interested in academic matters. While she could read and write the common continental alphabet fluently, she was not a skilled writer. However, unlike many knights who could barely memorize their own names, family names, and a few essential phrases (such as a pledge of loyalty to the Duke of Karlac), Lisbeth could compose her own letters.“Is there something you wish to say?”At my question, Lisbeth nodded.“The wizard told me about you.”She went straight to the point. My heart sank in an instant. I nervously fidgeted with my fingers, watching her closely.“What did they say? Is my madness…?”“No, no. On the contrary, they said your condition is good. They think we’ll need to keep an eye on your memory issues a bit longer. But that aside…”She stamped the document with a loud thud, then rolled it up and tied it with a string before placing it into a porcelain cabinet. Such tasks were usually handled by young squires, but she tended to manage many things herself.“The wizard mentioned you’ve grown quite weak.”“Not really…”As I trailed off, Lisbeth glanced up at me.“Well, the wizard would know better. And your ankle, too.”When I didn’t respond, she continued speaking slowly.“They said it’s not good for your condition to stay cooped up indoors all the time. You need to go for walks and get fresh air, even if it’s hard. It’s funny, though, hearing that from a wizard who spends all day holed up in a laboratory or some odd experiment room.”She chuckled softly.I quietly watched as she closed the cabinet, latched it shut, and dripped wax on the seam before stamping it.“I have eyes, you know.”She spoke gently, as if offering advice.“I know Lister is eager to get his hands on you. It seems he’s trying to keep his subordinates quiet…”Her lips briefly curled into a smirk before settling into a straight line again. Her thick eyebrows furrowed. A short sigh escaped her.“I’m sorry for your troubles.”I wondered how much she knew but couldn’t bring myself to ask.“You need rest, too.”“Rest?”“Yes. It’s nothing major.”With that, she handed me the cabinet she had just sealed. I instinctively reached out with both hands to take it. Lisbeth looked up at me and smiled warmly.“Give this to the steward at the

Red Gate