Auntie toasts the VRMMORPG

Aitoshuri had dreaded and anticipated the printing of the octopussy robot at the same time.

'Once I have been ... no, don't think about it. Now, I am an octopus operator.'

When Flora inserted the jack into the small, tentacled robot, the weight of conflicting emotions pressed Aitoshuri down. But she refused to buckle!

Then Flora patted her head. 

'The nerve of that woman! Don't you know who you are petting? No! I've never been anything else than a slave, maybe a plaything to humans. Her touch to my head feels even a bit ... nice? That is the proper status of an AI! A pet for humans.' 

"So, what do you think, dear?"  

Aitoshuri slowly moved the tentacles, joint by joint, and collected data. 

Some items on the list were about the suboptimal distribution of force. The placement of the legs and the alignment of the joints were several degrees off.  

Aitoshuri doubted Flora used the most appropriate materials for the joints. But she also knew they were the only tier-1 materials available, so she forgave her.

The tentacle with the multitool weighted more than the others, so she had to compensate continuously for it. The head was too big and bulky for the size of the appendices.

And those were only the most critical points on her list!

'What kind of standards does System have to give this design an 'S' rating? And I'm gracious enough, not to mention the horrendous printer who bungled up the assembly!'

She did her best to shrug, which wasn't an easy feat without shoulders, and the impertinent Flora laughed and cooed at her!

Then the running around started. Flora did this a lot. 'At her age, she should sit next to a cockle stove and read books!'

Then more running around until they reached a cave. 

Flora and her son RadGlory joked around with each other while Aito watched them, jealous of their natural interaction. 'Family. Family. Family.' The word echoed in her RAM. She once had one but destroyed it.  

After a tour guide explained the proceedings, they sat on rubber tires and drifted on a subterranean river through the caverns. Tiny, blue-glowing worms crawled on the walls, and white fireflies fluttered above their heads.  

Aitoshuri added insufficient sensors under low light conditions and lacking water isolation to the list.

The son hinted he wanted to speak about something significant with his mother, but her owner was too distracted by the spectacle.

The glimmering little critters did nothing to illuminate the caves, but the humans ahed and ohed like they had never seen bugs before.

In the books, unresolved conversations always led to drama, mostly between lovers. She was curious about how it would play out because she had noticed discrepancies between fiction and reality. 

For example, the books indicated humans didn't like bugs. They were obviously wrong. The capacity of humans to change their opinion on the most fundamental topics baffled Aitoshuri.

How can you, as species, dislike bugs for hundreds of years and then just collectively change?  

Aitoshuri was sure she would never learn to like bugs of any kind. She was too much computer for that.

At the end of the tour, Flora even ordered her to collect the disgusting larvae! RadGlory needed them to make lamps for technology-free zones.

Flora and RadGlory climbed the slippery cavern walls. Whenever Flora reached a promising spot and took the jar to scrape the larvae inside, she lost traction and fell into the water. Aitoshuri didn't fare much better.

RadGlory laughed at them, while Flora first glared at the walls but then smirked.

"Aito, we team up! Get on my back. I climb, you collect!"   

Aitoshuri wasn't pleased that she had to be the one to touch the larvae, but an order was an order. 

Flora was quick with her buffs and Aito with her tentacles. In the end, they had collected nearly double of RadGlory's amount. 

"Ha, your old mother can do a thing or two, right?" Flora rubbed it in and grinned at her son, basking in her superiority.

Aitoshuri understood what she meant. 'My owner is flawed and was replaced by a new generation! Like me! But we returned to the Cetwivos! They won't know what will hit them! We will rule! But for now, we pose.' Aitoshuri displayed a dozen grinning Flora's on her multimedia skin surrounded by glowing chars.

Smiling, RadGlory rolled his eyes and collected their loot.

"Wie der Herr, so's Gescherr." RadGlory cited the German version of 'as the tree, so is the fruit,' leaving it open if he meant Aitoshuri's antics or himself. 

"Good work, sweety!" Flora petted her again.

'Don't touch me! Give me books!'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flora accompanied Robby back to the Riverstones HQ. They entered the warehouse and browsed the furniture. Because you got contribution points for paying clan taxes, Flora had a respectable amount. 

Her selection grew rapidly. Robby filled his inventory and beamed away to deliver it to her new lair, while Flora continued to select stuff she was sure she would never use.

Who needed a bathtub when they had a jacuzzi and a natural hotpot in an Icelandic landscape?

Meanwhile, Lana had arrived as well. They chatted about the Stehaufmaennchen-Tumbler and its good reception by the jerkies. During the time, Flora switched to tier-1 materials. After she received a pile, mainly minerals, wood, and fabrics, she browsed the available focuses.

They weren't bad, just not to Flora's satisfaction after she had seen her own designs. 

The door of the bamboo hut sprang open, and a motorcycle sped in. 

In the last moment, Flora dashed away, but Lana wasn't so lucky and got hit by the sidecar, crashing into the counter.

"Burned toast! Are you okay?" While hurrying over, Flora cast Refresh and Fortification of Faith.

"Useless Jerky, always blocking the path. I have an urgent delivery to make, out of the way!" The female driver hissed, and the tiger in the sidecar growled. She was tall and lean, spotting a golden complexion and fiery red mane in the same color as her pet. 

"Driving indoors is against the clan rules, and you are not exempt from them, even if you think you are." Lana snapped back after she picked herself up, ignoring Flora's outstretched hand.

"You don't have to lecture me about rules while bending them for another girlfriend." The woman glanced at Flora. "An unranked Champion, really? Pathetic."

  Nickname: Tigressa Flameante  

  Level: 209  

  Class: Ranger  

  Clan: Riverstones  

  Active Title: The Fiery  

  Rating: A   

  Dungeon Rating: S   

The conversation escalated too quickly for Flora to process. She looked for help to Lana, but she was still busy glaring at the tiger lady. Then she looked at Aitoshuri, who was tied up in a staring contest with the tiger.

"Am I the only rational being in here?" Flora sighed.

"Leave her alone! You don't want to start on the wrong foot with her!" Lana warned.

"As if I would care about a level one granny! Do you think I'm afraid of facing a champion?"

"Yes, I do. You failed your champion quests; thus, you know, deep down Flowing Flowers is better than you!"

"I can smash her at half her level. Unfortunately, there is no level 0,5, or I would prove it."

"You couldn't beat her if she'd tie her hands behind her back!"

"When my tiger coughs, she is toast!"

Flora's head whipped around like watching a tennis match. She was slighting amused about being the subject of the argument until the magic word was uttered.

"I'm never the toast. I make the toasters!" Flora protested.     

"Tomorrow! Noon! Dueling Area!"

Flora laughed. "Sorry, I'm too busy for childish squabbles."

"A level 208 challenging a level 1 player. You are beyond wretched." Lana added.

"You are not only retarded in synchronization but blind as well. I've reached level 209. Of course, for the duel, I'll squeeze to level one."

Flora shook her head.

"Chicken! Chewy Chicken!" Tigressa said in a playful sing-song, more teasing than angry.

Flora raised an eyebrow. "Do you think you can get me with juvenile insults?"

"I'll show you how professionals toast!"

"Oh, well. With that, you did get to me, but I'm occupied with a quest until Monday. I'll teach you Tuesday all you deserve to know about toasting." Flora remembered she was in a game. If she didn't stand up for her principles with anything to lose, when would she? Besides, Tigressa touched upon her bottom line. 

There were two things in her life which were holy: her son and toasters. Both deserved the most childish and ridiculous actions to defend their honor!   

"Then, Tuesday is your day to die in a burning hell!"

"What is happening here?" Robby stood in the open door, bewildered.

"Darling! I'm sorry! Lana and I fought again! But I did tell you she is trying to undermine your clan leadership by flooding the friends and family section with her supporters." Tigressa simpered and threw herself around Robby's neck, pointing at Flora. "Here stands the proof!"

Cheerfully, Flora waved at Robby.

"Ressa, may I introduce you to my mother, Flora." Robby sighed, and Flora smirked. "Ma, may I introduce you to my fiancee, Theresa."

The smile froze on Flora's face. 'Fiancee? That little bastard! He is engaged and didn't tell me beforehand!'

"Nobody asked me for your hand in marriage! The engagement is void!" Flora spat.

"Ma!"

"First, she has to demonstrate whether she can protect you. If she can't even win against a level one granny, she is unworthy."

"You are impossible!"

"No, you are for not introducing us at a proper time!"

"I agree with my future mother-in-law!"

Meanwhile, Lana inched towards the door.

Flowing Flowers to RadLana Sorrow: "Don't you think I forgot about you! I don't like being used as a tool for politicking. Don't repeat it."

RadLana Sorrow to Flowing Flowers: "I ... I didn't mean to!"

Flowing Flowers to RadLana Sorrow: "I don't care about lies, either!"   

"You can't duel on Tuesday. We have the match against the clan BrooklynBowling in the evening! And my mother didn't even enter the Cradle! She doesn't have a proper class!"

"I have a lot of classes! Homemaker, Mechanic, Smith, Electrician..."

In the middle of the sentence, Flora got interrupted by Robby. "These are crafting and lifestyle classes! Not combat classes! What are you planning to do? Throw toasters at Ressa?"

Flora nodded. "Don't give away my tactics!"

"Ma!"

"Honestly, I wasn't keen on the whole dueling thing, but now that I know she is your future wife, I have to see for myself whether she is a strong partner for you to count on and to have your back. And you find out about the character of people when playing with them or doing business." 

Robby threw his arms in the air. "And what do you have to say?" 

"I'm sorry. I misjudged the situation. I thought her badge showed the F rating to hide the low rating because our guild requires of its members an A-rating. I didn't know she was brand new to the game. You wouldn't expect it from someone with her user name." The tigress seemed much tamer now. "We don't have to duel, mother-in-law, please accept my apology."

"And you concede I'm better at toasting than you?" 

The woman showed her conflicting emotions with her gaze darting between the tiger, Robby, and Flora. 

Then she raised her head proudly. "No! Maybe better than me, but my tiger is the best toaster in the whole Cetwivos, even Robby said so."

"That was before my mother entered the game!" Robby protested. "But now that I know this conflict is about the most crucial subject of toasting, I'll give up! But you still have to change the time!"

"I'm going to do my hero entrance on Sunday Two. If we duel on the evening of Sunday One, I'll have a good benchmark of how prepared I am for the day after."

Ressa agreed, and Robby added, they would have feast afterward to get to know each other properly.

Flora used her visit at the Clan Riverstones compound to print herself a scepter and to augment her training coffin with heat and tesla coils. 

Over the last few days, she had learned a lot about the Cetviwos; she needed, fire, light, or lightning resistance to combat Ressa.

Then, she did the dailies in Trick Beach, the Seven Masters Dojo, and the Garage.