Be Gay Do Crime

Ashe stared at the ceiling, something that was becoming depressingly common in recent days. Jasper was curled up beside her, gently snoring as she ran a hand through his fur. Passed out much as she wished to be. The buzz of the alcohol wore off hours ago, and she was drinking extra water to avoid a hangover just to be safe. Her cut from the delivery now sat in her closet with the rest of the cash from the robbery. She took the time to count it while the house was empty, and came up just shy of fifty thousand dollars.

She knew crime technically did pay, but she didn't expect anything quite like that. Just what the hell was she thinking, going along with a drug run? That would have seen her put away longer than murder for sure, stupid as that seeming contradiction was. She couldn't deny the rush that came with holding a drug lord at gunpoint, and thinking back, she could have done more good for the city by pulling the trigger right then and there.

Yet she hadn't.

The thought didn't even cross her mind until hours later when she was counting her money. Another sobering thought. She cared about Crystal, and dammit, she was starting to like Robbie and Keiko as well. They were interesting and fun, and much as she hated to admit it, she missed having friends. Not just people she hung out with online, but actual friends. Being a pariah since middle school did her social life no favors.

Ashe reached over, finding the gun that Crystal gifted her, the gun they took from the broken nosed bastard. It was a weapon, one she was at least familiar with, but it also represented so much more. It was the tool she would use to intimidate and coerce those they targeted. She would one day use it to kill if she kept on the same path. Ashe understood that, or at least, she told herself she did.

Taking a life, that was something she knew could happen from the moment her moms pushed her to get a concealed carry permit at sixteen. That would have been self defense, easy to justify in the shock she would experience afterwards. Her mother sat with her after doing CPR on her classmate that overdosed. She explained how trauma affects someone in the moment and would reverberate with her in the future. Her life would never be the same, but she had to remember that what happened wasn't her fault.

The same would hold true if she had to use her gun in self defense. If it came to that, she wouldn't be at fault, the aggressor would. She'd still feel the trauma of the act itself, but it would be easier to work past the shock and guilt.

Holding the gun, feeling the strain from her working fingers to compensate for those not as responsive, it gave the gun a different weight. This gun wouldn't be used for self defense. If she pulled the trigger, it would be as the aggressor, if she killed, it would be murder. Ashe knew she should go straight to her parents, turn the gun over, admit to everything, and work through what came from her actions.

Turning in the others would get her a plea deal, they would go to prison, she would get probation at worst. Yet, even the idea of that made her stomach churn. She thought of Crystal's smiling face, laughing with her at the movies, or the almost condescending affection when she told a corny joke and got swatted on the shoulder for it. Then her face twisted into anger and betrayal as she was taken away in cuffs, screaming curses the whole way.

Even imagining that scenario made Ashe nauseous.

Then the faces of those who left her crippled came to mind, specifically the one who was still free. She could see him clearly, cuffed and being led into the car, only he was smiling at her. So smug and sure of himself. Confident he would get away with it. Then she imagined putting a gun to his head, the expression shifting to pleading as she looked down at him.

Then she pulled the trigger and the imagined image shattered.

The gun wasn't loaded, and no round was in the chamber, so all it did was give off a loud click, but that was enough. She ran to her bathroom and heaved, the bile coming up reeked of alcohol. She quickly flushed before spraying air freshener. She was the only one home at the moment, but that didn't mean she would throw caution to the wind.

Ashe got up with a groan, her stomach still rather unsettled. Jasper sat in the hall just outside the bathroom, whining in concern. She had to smile at that, thankful that someone seemed to care about her. Rinsing her mouth only took a moment then she made her way to the kitchen and grabbed an ice cube. She hated throwing up, it was never pleasant. How some of the girls at school could do it after every meal was beyond her understanding.

She popped the cube in her mouth, letting it melt. She also grabbed one of her mom's ginger sodas before moving to the couch and turning on the TV. She took a sip of the soda, grimacing at the flavor. She didn't like ginger ale in the slightest, but she couldn't deny how it helped settle a stomach. Jasper was right there, curling into her like the good boy he was.

Flipping through the channels, she settled on the evening news. It was the usual drivel, a black man gunned down during a traffic stop in Sutton. An alligator that grabbed someone's poodle. A thinly veiled ad for Ellington's campaign in the form of talking heads extolling his virtues. Then it came to a missing person's report.

Jessica's.

Ashe sat up because Jessica's parents were being interviewed.

"She was taken on the way to school," the mother said, sobbing into a cloth handkerchief. "Jess was such a good girl, never did anything wrong."

Ashe snorted in derision. "You hear that, Jasper? Innocent? As fucking if."

In answer, Jasper bumped his snout against her chin, then flicked his tongue right up her nose. She nearly gagged, laughing as she pushed the uncivilized beast away. It was a momentary distraction at best, and the dog was far too pleased with himself.

The broadcast continued, highlighting some of her school achievements. Watching it, Ashe's anger rekindled. If anything, Ashe felt that Jessica deserved her fate. What did interest her, however, was that she was snatched in much the same way that Ashe herself had been, which implied the same people might be involved. The reporters could have mentioned her own encounter to prove it wasn't a one off, but they didn't. Even on social media, nobody was connecting the pieces.

She pulled up her contacts and messaged Crystal, detailing the story and even found an article on the station's website. She included that with the message and sent it along, content in the knowledge that Crystal had the contacts to find out more than the proper authorities could manage in a city as corrupt as Jericho. That thought didn't bother Ashe nearly as much as it would have just a week prior, now that she knew more of the people Crystal associated with.

She was just about to change the channel when the door opened.

"Ashe, we're home," her mom announced.

Jasper barked, jumping off the couch. Ashe turned, looking over the back of the couch. Her mom had her work bag along with a plastic bag in her off hand. Mother was behind her, carrying another two bags and it didn't take long for the smell to wash over her. They picked up Chinese takeout.

They only brought home Chinese after a particularly bad day.

Ashe got up, wincing as her stomach growled. She had thrown up her earlier meal, but eating something so greasy just an hour later probably wouldn't do her any favors. Still, after the day she had, she wanted nothing more than to spend some time with her parents.

"How was your day?" Mother asked, a kind smile on her face but her eyes showed clear exhaustion.

"The usual," Ashe said, then an absurd idea came to mind. "Met up with Crystal after school, got drunk, ran some drugs, you know how it goes with us kids."

Her mom snorted, struggling not to laugh as she moved the bags to the kitchen table. Mother regarded her for a moment and cold sweat began to trail down her back. Her mother then sighed and shook her head, muttering about kids and poor humor.

Well, that went better than expected.

Ashe helped set up the table, well familiar by now with which dishes went where and soon they were seated and digging in. It tasted divine, especially given the state of her stomach. It disagreed with her a bit, but not to the degree she expected. Ashe was confident she could keep it down. Thankfully, Jasper was by Mother begging, as she was actually sneaking him bites.

They were about halfway through the meal when the other shoe dropped.

"Mr. Lowell, the one that overdosed, was killed today," Mother said.

Ashe blinked, unsure how she felt about that. Part of her was elated that the bastard was dead, another part was upset that she hadn't gotten to do it herself. Her eyes widened, appalled with herself for having such a dark thought. She could unpack that later. One of the two was dead, in a likely hit to keep him from talking, or for his failure.

"How did he die?" Ashe asked, her voice distant.

"He was returned to jail this afternoon and another offender just jumped him with a shank. They managed to stab him in the neck before someone dropped him."

That confirmed it was a hit, if nothing else, and Ashe didn't miss how Mother's eyes flicked over to her mom, which told her all she needed to know about who killed the assailant. A part of her hated that she went through the trouble of saving his life, only for him to die like that.

Given Jessica's kidnapping, maybe those involved were worried about him letting the cat out of the bag about what was being done with those kidnapped. Ashe might not have cared about Jessica, but she did care about finding those behind the attack. That meant she needed to locate the other man before they got to him as well.

Time was of the essence, with each day risking the trail going cold, loose ends being wrapped up. Unfortunately, she didn't have much time unaccounted for, and few ideas of where to start. Rachel and Heather might know more, loathe as she was to speak to them, then there were whatever leads that Crystal managed to turn up.

"I know that was probably a shock," her mom said, resting a hand on hers. "The man who did it was already awaiting trial for triple homicide though he had stage-four cancer which was delaying proceedings."

"Probably why he did it," Ashe agreed. "He had nothing to lose, and someone close to him likely got a nice bonus from whoever put him up to it."

Her mother sighed, but nodded. There wasn't much to be done there, unfortunately, and the police were powerless to go after those who brokered the hit. Too many intermediaries to trace back to the source. She'd listened to her mother bitch about such hits before, but this was the first one that hit so close to home.

It just served to reinforce her resolve to work with Crystal instead.

If the law was powerless, then she would work outside of it to get justice. She would go to school tomorrow, talk to the remaining bitches about what they knew, then ditch school for the rest of the day to track leads with Crystal. There was a chance that her parents might be told about her truancy, so she would need an excuse. Getting over zealous after hearing their story might be enough to avoid any major punishments, but she wasn't certain of it.

"On that grim note," her mom said, drawing Ashe from her thoughts. "You spent the day with Crystal? Should we be planning to meet her more formally, or is she still skittish about waiting until you're eighteen and the legal ambiguity is cleared up?"

Ashe sighed, her cheeks growing warm. "I mean, can you blame her? This state is so backwards that we keep expecting the next law passed to make it illegal for us to even exist. She's got a reason to be paranoid, especially with her father."

"True," her mother said. "I would still like to meet her at some point. Especially if she's going to become a fixture in your life."

"I think she is," Ashe said with a smile. "She introduced me to some of her friends today, and both of them were teasing her about me."

"Sounds serious," her mom said. "Yes, I think we'll have to arrange something, even if it isn't quite so formal as a proper dinner."

"Mini golf sounds lovely," her mother said in agreement. "Perhaps you can ask Crystal if she would like to join us?"

Ashe sighed, knowing there was no way out of it. "I'll text her after dinner."

Her mother grinned and ruffled her hair, much to her indignation. The three of them laughed, and while the warmth was there, Ashe felt like she was betraying them both with the double life she was beginning to live, even if she was pursuing it in the name of justice. It didn't take an expert to see how flimsy of a justification that truly was.

If she was going to break that trust, she needed to get the results she wanted. Failure wasn't an option, not if she was willing to break every one of her morals in the pursuit of it. Bringing down whoever was trafficking people, that was worth it, even if her own innocence ended up tarnished for it.

"See that you do," Mother said. "At least we have that to look forward to this weekend."

Ashe smiled, because she intended to deliver some good news before then. She had four to five days depending before the meetup to do it. She would do some good, no matter how dirty her hands got in the process.

Which meant she actually needed to get to sleep at a decent hour. She felt a pang of guilt for wanting to slip away just as her parents got home, but what else could she do? She wasn't going to turn in her friends, so she had to plan accordingly. Ashe got up and hugged her mom, then her mother, because she did truly love and appreciate them, but this moment?

It felt like a turning point in her life.

Getting back to her room, Ashe flopped down in bed and fished out her burner phone, powering it up. The phone dinged, a message from Crystal waiting for her.

"Hey, H asked around. She might have a lead, you available tomorrow?"

Ashe smiled. "I am. Was going to check a lead myself first thing then have you swing by."

"Awesome. See you there… Ugh, we need to get you a name. Oh well, you'll earn one soon enough, I'm sure."

She swallowed, because given the stories the others had, earning her street name would probably involve murder. Ashe wasn't sure where the path she was starting down would lead her, but she had little doubt that if she were able to see her future self, that she wouldn't recognize her. The Ashe of a month ago would likely despise her on principle.

The Ashe of today would give her a hug.

Because if her current troubles were anything to go by, future her would need them.

Shaking her head, Ashe typed up a reply.

"Looking forward to it."

---