Be Gay Do Crime

“You’re looking well,” Sergeant Dippenhower said. 

Ashe smiled, looking at the still raw scar on her wrist.  “All things considered.  At least I can say I came out better than the rest of them.” 

An indisputable fact, given they were all dead and she was still up and kicking.  Jack’s face staring blankly forward flashed through her mind for a moment, but it was quick to fade.  There was probably something concerning about that, but for the moment she was grateful. 

“Yes, quite the ongoing investigation,” he answered.  “We still have no leads in either killing beyond what was plastered all over the evening news.” 

“And I am grateful they kept both names out of the news for the time being,” Mom said rather quickly.  “The last thing Ashe needs is for some media bastard to start hounding her.” 

“That’s what the Second Amendment is for,” Mother said almost immediately.  

To emphasize the point, Ashe nodded, then patted the holster tucked against her side.  “Never leave home without it.” 

“An armed citizen is a protected one,” Mother said in agreement.  “Wouldn’t you say so, sergeant?” 

“Of course,” the sergeant said.

Aww, it was cute how he wasn’t making eye contact with any of them.  His eyes were struggling to figure out which of them was safest to look at, which only saw Ashe’s grin growing each time he looked away from her.  Then there was the growing silence, which was only uncomfortable for the Sergeant himself. 

He looked down at his cup, downed the contents, then turned on his heel and walked away without another word.

“You’re rather good at running the assholes off,” Mom remarked, watching as Sergeant Dippenhower ducked away.  “Maybe we should start timing you?” 

“Please don’t encourage her,” Mother said, pinching her nose.  “Just look at her, she’s already far too pleased with herself.” 

Ashe couldn’t deny that she had a massive grin on her face.  Reminding bigots that she was an armed and capable trans girl often unsettled them to a stark degree, and that man was no exception. 

“Shall we find another mark?” Ashe said sweetly. 

Mom snorted, shaking her head in bemusement.  “In due time.  I want to hear all about your little stay with your not-girlfriend.” 

Ashe’s cheeks warmed despite the relatively cool breeze.  “Mom!  We aren’t sleeping together.” 

Mom rolled her eyes.  “I didn’t mean figurative, I meant literal.  I know the two of you share a bed when you stay at her house.” 

There was no disputing that, they were sharing a bed more often than not when she stayed, and she couldn’t lie that sometimes she wondered what would happen if they decided to just go for it.  Not that Ashe was comfortable doing so, given her upcoming surgery that she was very much looking forward to. 

Mom’s head lurched, a meaty thwack sounding as Mother smacked her upside her head.  “Linda, stop being crass.” 

Pouting, Mom glared at her wife.  “Did you have to hit me so hard?” 

“If I was going to get through your thick skull, then yes.” 

Ashe couldn’t help but snort, even if it did draw attention back to her.  She was so grateful to have them for parents, even if the police were unable to bring her assailants to justice, her parents had at least tried.

“If and when our sleeping arrangements cease being purely literal,” Ashe began, trying to act haughty with a hand splayed across her sternum, “you will hopefully be some of the last to learn.”  Then her eyes dropped to the grass beneath her feet.  “Seriously, I don’t want my parents to know if I’m getting laid…” 

“Oh trust me, we’ll know,” Mother said.  “You may not realize it, but you’ve never been good at keeping things from us.” 

A chill ran down Ashe’s spine, there was no way.  No, if they actually knew, Ashe would be in cuffs, not freely armed among a veritable sea of police officers.  They were just teasing, and that actually brought a spark of confidence with it, because they didn’t know.  

“Oh yeah, totally can’t keep secrets from you,” Ashe said with a roll of her eyes.  “Guess I might as well scrap that drug empire I’m building.  Darn.” 

“Okay smartass,” Mom said, chuckling.

Ashe used the lul to focus on her plate, finally getting to eat some of the food she’d been holding since the conversation began.  The burgers were dry, and the hot dogs slightly burnt, and the sides were all store bought, but it was edible and more importantly, she wasn’t paying for any of it, which made the quality or lack thereof a bit more tolerable. 

“Oh shit,” Mother said, looking across the way.  “Reynolds actually made it.” 

Ashe followed her eyes and saw the man.  His arm was in a sling, but he was otherwise smiling as Kendall patted him on the back with a jovial laugh.  He might have been a minorly bigoted ass at times, but that didn’t mean she liked seeing people she knew hurt.  Guilt pooled in Ashe’s stomach, knowing she was at fault for his injury.  

“Come on, let’s go say hi to the grouchy bastard,” Mom added.  “He’s probably been stuck in his apartment alone all this time.” 

“He wouldn’t be alone if he didn’t keep scaring women off,” Ashe muttered, recalling the last woman he dated. 

Mother sighed.  “Yeah, far too many men don’t understand how to talk to women.” 

Ashe could only nod along.  Before figuring out that she was trans, she had looked into some of those influencers that promised all your problems were because you weren’t manly enough.  Thankfully it only made her dysphoria worse and she’d not ventured too deep, otherwise she might have ended up marching right along the Patriot fucks, all muscle and facial hair and— 

A shiver of revulsion ran through her just thinking about it.  Just the thought of being trapped in a male body going through puberty, getting all hairy and gross, it turned her stomach.  Ashe was so grateful for the people that found the loophole in the Religious Freedom bill that Ellington rammed through right before his Senate election. 

It had literally saved her life.

Score one for bigots fucking up, but he still won political points with his supporters who now had full legal protections for their bigotry.  Such was the nature of rushing in without due diligence, like why they had to retroactively ban religious displays in public buildings.  Baphomet statues popped up like weeds for a few weeks there, simple concrete castings dropped off in the dead of night. 

The culprit was only ever caught on security footage, looking like a crazed hillbilly with a graying beard that almost reached his navel, that should be out running moonshine not shadow dropping satanic monuments. 

“Captain!” Reynolds said excitedly.  “Good to see you.” 

Mother chuckled, shaking her head.  “I think that is supposed to be my line.  Welcome to the ‘I got shot in the line of duty’ club, I’ll make sure you get the t-shirt.” 

“I got mine in pink,” Mom said, pulling out her phone. 

Ashe knew exactly which picture she was showing him, with the custom shirt that Mother had gotten Mom shortly after she took two bullets to her Kevlar.  She’d been bruised, but otherwise okay and the shirt was more of a tongue in cheek gag gift.

“That says ‘I was shot and all I got was this lousy t-shirt’,” Reynolds grumbled. 

“Eh, same difference,” Mom said with a shrug.  “Just be glad you don’t qualify for the shirt I bought Richardson.” 

Reynolds blinked, then slowly asked, “didn’t he get shot in the ass?” 

“Left cheek,” Mother said, tapping her chin as she often did when recalling a story.  “Took the surgeons almost an hour to dig it out.” 

“Then he milked the medical leave for half a year and took an office job ever since,” Mom said, rolling her eyes.  “I’m just waiting for the day that someone gets their shrimp dick shot off.  That should make for a fun story.” 

Reynolds visibly shrunk in on himself a bit, instinctively moving to protect his little member.  Well, Ashe had no such attachments to her own, but she did still need it for when she finally got her surgery. 

“Eh, wouldn’t miss it,” Ashe said with a shrug. 

Mom snorted immediately, then Ashe thought the words back over in her mind and she realized the double meaning.  Her stomach sank, because she had just implied…  Fuck.  Here she was, standing in front of an officer that she had injured, joking about shooting off his dick… 

Well, it wasn’t like Ashe was going anywhere but Hell as things stood, at least according to those Patriot assholes, so she may as well own it.

“Oh, that’s fucked,” Reynolds said with a nervous chuckle.  “I hope I never find myself on the other end of your gun.”

Too late, Ashe thought bitterly.

Mom smacked the man. 

“Ow, the hell was that for?” Reynolds muttered, rubbing the back of his head. 

Glaring at him, Mom said, “for the innuendo, intended or not.” 

The color quickly drained from his face as his eyes widened.  “I didn’t, I mean…  Fuck.” 

“Succinctly put,” Mother said, crossing her arms.

Fighting down her gut reaction, Ashe rolled her eyes.  “No need to defend my honor here, I’m old enough to be tried as an adult.” 

“Still a minor for a few more months, dear,” Mom said, patting Ashe on the head.

It was a bit awkward, given Ashe had a few inches in height over both her parents.  She wasn’t the tallest girl she had ever met, but Ashe was still taller than average, which often drew unwanted attention.  Deciding to be a bit more of a shit, Ashe looked Reynolds right into his eyes and bit into one of her remaining hot dogs.  

The man recoiled, and she had to bite back a rather cruel laugh.  Mom shot her a glare, but it wasn’t scolding, more chiding than anything really, and moved to run interference with the uncomfortable shooting victim. 

“That wasn’t very nice,” Mother said softly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ashe grumbled, looking away so she wouldn’t see her rolling her eyes.  She wanted out of the conversation, and away from the man she had injured, but the only way she could see to do so was to bite the bullet and stop procrastinating on another subject.  Using her dwindling plate of food as an excuse would only work for so long.  She took a step back and tugged on her mother’s arm.  “Hey, can we step away for a moment?” 

Mother looked at her with a frown.  “Everything alright?” 

“Just something I’ve been hesitant to bring up,” Ashe said softly. 

Her mother nodded, and found a tree that didn’t have a crowd gathered around it.  Ashe followed, and did her best to spot anyone that might be able to overhear, not that there was anyone.  Right, still looking for excuses to procrastinate…

“What did you want to talk about?” Mother asked now that they were away from prying ears. 

Ashe wasn’t certain they were far enough from prying ears, even with Mom playing interference back with Reynolds.  Yet, she needed to get this out of the way, and take the risk.

“I had some information passed along to me,” Ashe said.  “The pawn shop fire, the girls that were taken?  Apparently some of them are asking for help within the law.” 

Mother’s eyes widened.  “Who approached you?” 

“I’m literally playing telephone here,” Ashe said, her shoulders dropping.  Lying like this still felt horrible to her, especially when her parents showed nothing but trust.  “I can only pass along what they told me.  One of the girls was sold by her parents for drugs, a girl that is barely fourteen.” 

It was hard to miss the moment that Mother’s heart cracked, her empathy winning out over the suspicion over the whole situation.  Ashe hated manipulating her like that, but it was for the good of a girl that had everything taken from her. 

“That won’t be easy,” Mother said, but Ashe could tell she was thinking of workarounds.  “Would you be able to give them my number?  They can call on a burner phone if needed, but I want to try and make this right.” 

Tension drained away almost immediately, relief flooding her in its place.  Ashe knew it wouldn’t be that simple, that some things would take time and effort, but it would be a start for getting people like Donna and Lyn the help they want.

“I’ll forward it along,” Ashe said with a heartfelt smile, then pulled her mother into a tight hug.  “Thanks.” 

“You seem rather invested in this,” Mother said, extracting herself from the hug.  “I’m worried you’re getting too involved with the wrong sort.” 

Ashe flinched before she could help herself, panic rising by the moment.  “It does feel that way, at times.  Like, I wonder if that whole fiasco was my fault just because I asked someone to look into why I was nearly kidnapped.” 

“Would they let you just walk away?” Mother asked firmly. 

Ashe nodded.  “The offer is on the table, I just…  Those girls need help, and if passing along their information to you, and vice-versa helps?  That’s something I’m happy to do.” 

“I know you talked about this with Linda, but it still worries me,” Mother said, biting her bottom lip.  “If they ever ask you to do something illegal, or anything that makes you uncomfortable, will you let us know before you end up with a warrant?” 

Yeah, it was too late for that. 

So, Ashe just shrugged and smiled, out of the corner of her eye, she could see her Mom walking over to join them. 

“What’s with all the secrecy?” Mom asked. 

“Ashe had more information passed to her,” Mother said.  “Something about some of the girls Inferno took from the pawn shop massacre.” 

“You’re sure you’re not getting in over your head?” Mom asked, her eyes alight with worry.  “Inferno is dangerous and can’t be trusted.” 

Forcing down a wince at the description, Ashe nodded.  “The information is coming through the same person I asked to look into the people that attacked me.  This is the favor they’re asking in return for the help they gave in finding them.” 

“In killing them,” Mother said sternly.  “I know you’re only a middleman, but what about the other girls?”

“I get that it looks like these criminals care about the girls,” Mom added, “but they’re still engaging in illegal activities.  If they’re coercing them into helping, we need to know.” 

Ashe sighed, hoping to buy a moment to think.  “I’d have to get closer to know more.  Right now, I just know that there are girls they’re willing to help get away from that life.  You could probably ask them more once you’re in proper contact.” 

Her mother pinched her nose, but Mom was giving Ashe a side-eyed look that set the hairs on her neck standing.  There wasn’t anything malicious there, but suspicion for sure.  There was no way she could claim that her parents weren’t good at what they do, and they could smell that something was wrong. 

“You’re deflecting,” Mother said.  

A shrug was her answer, taking a sip of her drink.  When that didn’t work, Ashe tried instead to focus on her food, but she barely had any left.  Right, no dodging the question, so Ashe put on her best smile and began to laugh just as someone walked up to them and promptly stumbled, sloshing his drink a bit as he did.

“Nice save there,” Ashe said sarcastically, grateful for the walking distraction.

---