Beers and Beards: A Cozy Dwarf Tale

*Bing!*

‘Unrefined Lily-Leopard Liver Oil’ has been successfully combined with ‘Beer’.

My hand stopped glowing, and I waved the notification away.

And… that was it. There was no further flash of light, the tank didn’t glow or change colour or anything like that. It was a bit anticlimactic actually.

Annie’s desperate face popped in front of me.

“What happened? Did it work?”

“I think it did? There was a notification on it. But - “ I looked around the room at everyone, “what the heck is unrefined lily-leopard liver oil?”

—

It took almost an hour, but the tank I’d refined began to slow down its rate of fermentation. Soon it was obviously different from the rest of the tanks, and the vinegar scent became less pronounced. It appeared that [Refine Brew] had worked. There was a lot of cheering and back-slapping, followed by a serious debate on whether I should do it again. We weren’t sure what ‘combining’ a magical ingredient with beer meant, or what it would do. Was it even safe to drink?

After some discussion, Annie made the executive decision to use [Refine Brew] on all of the tanks before they spoiled. Hopefully it wouldn't be poisonous or mess with the bottle racking step. It took less than a minute for me to walk between the tanks, activating the Blessing on each one in turn.

When I finished refining everything I walked into Annie’s office. She and Aqua were busy poring over paperwork. Aqua was checking our supply lists, and Annie was running numbers to see if we could afford to scrap the entire batch if necessary. In the meantime, Richter was combing the bags of Erdroot with his [Manasight] while Balin was still out delivering our water to Drum.

I grabbed a chair and scooted next to Aqua, reading over her shoulder. “What's our first suspect?”

“Our supplier for the bittering agents is Alchemist Black. The Black family has been our primary supplier for over three thousand years. He also supplies over half the brewers in the city. An event like this could ruin him.” Aqua muttered. “A mistake is possible, but I just don’t see it happening. It has to be the water, it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“Where else could it have come from?”

“It could have been a few of the erdroot that we used?” Annie said, standing up and walking over.

“Maybe.” I shrugged. “But how would a magical ingredient even get into the erdroot? A contaminated water-source or contaminated supplies from the Alchemist make the most sense.”

“Annie, would your dad have any ideas?” Aqua asked.

“I can, if he’s home. Pete, can you check with your map?”

The Goldstone clan home was right next door to the brewery. It was the windowless fortress-style building I’d originally assumed was empty.

“It’s a bit too far away. My [Minimap] only really has a range of twenty meters or so.”

Aqua whistled. “That’s still pretty amazing. Can you teach me your secret for easy Milestones?”

“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” I gave a vicious smile.

Aqua laughed, then grew pale. “Wait, that was true? You - ”

“Hold on, let me check something.” I interrupted, and then searched the filters in my map. “It is! Since I just did some brewing with it, the leopard-oil can be toggled on my minimap!”

I flicked it on, but no dots appeared. “Nuts, that would have been too easy.”

“What?” Annie asked.

“There’s good news and bad news. The good news is that our water and erdroot are probably fine. I don’t see any sources of lily-leopard oil in the brewery. The bad news is that we already threw away the bag of used bittering agents a week ago, so there’s no way to check that.”

“Ugh. Okay, I want to get dad. I’ll see if he’s home, give me a moment.” She ran off.

“Do you really think he’ll be able to help?” I asked Aqua.

“Maybe. He has a Blessing that tells him the ingredients of a finished brew, and another one that’s kind of like your [Refine Brew] but doesn't work with magical ingredients. Oh, and the Milestone [Check Quality]! It tells him if something is safe to drink.”

“Great. We’re really going to need that. Can he tell us what's in the tanks?”

"No, it only works on finished brews."

"Double Nuts."

After a few short minutes, Annie came running back, her face stormy.

Aqua jumped out of her seat. “What is it?”

“Dad’s on his way, but he’s… drunk.” Annie hissed. “It’s the middle of the afternoon! I didn’t take over all of this so he could drink all morning! Argh! I can’t believe him!!!”

“Oh.” Aqua patted Annie gingerly on the back.

“It can be really hard to step away from something you’ve done for hundreds of years.” I pointed out. I really felt for Jeremiah. Not only was his daughter moving on, but she had immediately pulled his little beer empire in a completely different direction, forsaking generations of Goldstone tradition. He had to be wondering if any of what he’d built meant anything. Or worse, whether he was even necessary any more. Back on Earth people would often up and die a year or two after retirement as their body and brain essentially went: ‘why bother?’.

“We need to get him active.” I said firmly.

“What do you mean?” Aqua asked.

“Jeremiah’s going to be in the middle of his mid-life crisis. We need ta get him a magic horseless-carriage or something and focus his energy towards new hobbies. Maybe a girlfriend? Sorry, Annie.”

“Anything would be better than what I just saw.” Annie grumbled. “His only hobbies are beer-making and beer-drinking with his buddies.”

“See? That’s the problem. Now that he isn’t working as much he only has one hobby left. What else does he do?”

Annie began hesitantly, “Before… before mom died, dad used to take me fishing. He also liked to do weight-lifting and wrestling.”

I whistled. “That explains quite a few things.” Jeremiah was built like a bodybuilder because he was a bodybuilder.

“Afterwards, he spent so much time taking care of me, and focusing on the business, that he just… stopped. We couldn’t really afford people to watch and take care of me, so he kept me in the brewery and taught me the ropes while he worked. He- he was a great dad. I never meant for this to happen! And our first brew almost failed! Maybe it already did!” Annie looked like she was about to cry and then smashed a fist down on her small side table, denting it.

“By Lunara’s Lace, I swear that I’m going to get to the bottom of this!” She circled the room, clearly winding herself up.

Aqua and I looked at each other with worry, and then back to Annie. I tried using a soothing tone to calm her down.

“I’ll see about taking him out fishing with Balin. Maybe we can catch enough to reduce our costs for the pub. In the meantime, do you want to reach out to any of his old friends and see if they’d be willin’ to take him to the gym?”

Annie visibly calmed. “Aye, I can do that.”

We sat around and waited a few more minutes, but Jeremiah didn’t show. Annie was considering running back to the house when Richter popped his head in.

“Dere’s no magic anywhere but Bran’s kitchen and tha hopback. Unless you tink it could be him, I’m stumped.”

“Okay.” I stood up from my seat. “I think there’s better things for me to be doing right now. Richter, can you come with? I might need your help.”

“Where are you going?” Aqua asked, standing up as well.

“I’m heading to the library to look up this leopard-oil junk. That may offer some clues. Since it’s magical, Richter might be necessary.”

“Aye, good plan.” Richter nodded.

“You need to make sure you’re back in time to open the pub.” Annie warned. “This little event isn’t going to stop us.”

“Obviously not.” I smiled. “We’re all stubborn as goats.”

For the first time this evening, Annie smiled. “Good luck. I hope you find something.”

“Me too. Let’s go Richter.”

As we stepped out the door, I received a new notification.

*Bing!*

New Quest: The Malted Mystery!

Your first brew was mysteriously contaminated with a magical alchemical ingredient.

Who or what caused it?

Culprits Found: 0/2

Rewards: +0.2 Wisdom, [White Lie]

Do you accept?

Yes / No

Culprits, plural? Well, that didn’t bode well; I’d talk about it with Annie when I got back. I accepted the quest for now and ran after Richter.

—

“I found it.” Richter pointed to a spot in his book.

I leaned over to read it, “Wow, you read that fast.”

“I got a Milestone last week! Fer readin’ over eight hundred books!”

We were both seated across from each other in the alchemy shop. Librarian Uric hadn’t let us back in the library, though we'd been able to talk him down to a one week ban.

Rather than run across town to the next library we headed to the nearest alchemy shop, a quaint little place called Primrose’s Philters. The purple dots indicating lily-liver oil were all over the place, so we were clearly on the right track.

I considered just asking the [Alchemist] for help, but I think Annie still wanted a modicum of secrecy. Just in case people started wondering why the staff of the Thirsty Goat was suddenly curious about a possible poison.

Instead, I bought all the books on basic alchemical ingredients in Crack and Minnova. It was only three books, but they cost ten gold each!! The alchemy store had a place for people to study, so we sat and started reading.

I wished someone like Tourmaline was around to help with this; I wasn’t a real [Alchemist], and this was a terrible crash course.

Richter’s book was titled Bestiary of Greentree: Common Monsters and Their Components while I was reading Alchemical Ingredients: A Primer.

The passage he found read:

“Lily-Leopard: This vicious half-plant beast is commonly found at the edge of inner Greentree. It stalks the area where the internal light of the dungeon has not yet illuminated the forest, and the light from Minnova’s crystal does not quite reach. The Darkwood is often the first hurdle that truly challenges new adventuring parties, and the Lily-Leopard is one of the main culprits.

Lily-Leopards have a sinuous catlike body with a slightly yellow tint and brown spots and a tapered green 'tail'. Instead of fur, their skin is made of a tuberous material, and their head ends in a lily-like flower that peels back to reveal a maw of teeth that is capable of ripping flesh from bone.

Lily-Leopards obtain most of their nutrients from blood, but can also plunge their ‘tails’ into the ground in order to ingest valuable minerals. They often sleep in this form, their buttocks firmly ‘planted’ and their mouths open, appearing to be no more than a common giant tiger-lily. Adventurers should exercise caution around giant lilies in the Darkwood.

Lily-Leopards are prized for their livers, which filter the magical energies they absorb, and their teeth, which can be used for certain weapons. Once refined, the liver oil is a common ingredient in some basic potions.”

“That’s it!” I gave Richter a fist-bump. “This stuff is used in potions, so go read Basic Potions: A Cookbook.

While Richter searched the next book I found a section in mine on lily-leopard liver oil. It was a rather boring blurb that simply repeated what we’d found in Bestiary of Greentree.

“Here, Lily-Leopard Oil.” Richter said. “Ah found it. It say dat it’s a common potion ingredient, and lists a few different ones it's used in. It say: ‘Da unrefined oil can cause an upset stomac’, but da refined version enhances gut health and stamina. A propa’ catalyst and infusion o’ mana can enhance da stamina recovery aspect to create a basic stamina potion.’”

It reminded me a bit of castor oil. I shuddered at the memory of that foul liquid drawn from the guts of hell itself.

“Okay, great work. Let’s go back to the brewery and tell everyone.”

We left the alchemy shop and ran back to the brewery as fast as our short little legs could carry us.

Hopefully Jeremiah would have good news.