But… It’s me! The real Spider-Man!

"So, do you want to kill Venom?" I asked, after the lady jumped through the window into the front seat of Bobby's car.

I had to sit in the back, and we continued on our route, next stop: the electronics store.

"Not really, handsome, I don't care about this Venom of yours, but it pays well. You may have heard of me: the Talking Mercenary..."

"Yeah, Merc with a Mouth, Tongue without bones, chopped off..." I grinned as I began to list the mercenary's nicknames I knew. I didn't know how famous Deadpool was in this world, though.

"Bottomless throat or Regenerating Degenerate," the woman herself said, "it doesn't matter-it's all about me! But the key word here is mercenary, you see? Some rich women hire me to do work for them, usually to rid the world of other women."

"So somebody wanted Venom, and you got paid for it?" Bobby beside me held her breath.

"You're so clever!" Deadpool exclaimed with delight.

"Well, I know I'm a corrupt mercenary without honor or conscience, but why are you involved in this shit? You're some kind of Girl Scout..." Deadpool looked at me questioningly, "Boy Scouts?" She finished with an ironic questioning intonation.

"Sort of," I retorted. "Venom is killing people in my town, if I can stop him, I will."

"Whoa!" DeadPoole exclaimed, then turned and spoke to someone in the window. "The guy's a hero of our times. We need to get him a bow and arrow and start a solo project, make him into Corporal America, that's a gold mine! No offense, but you don't look like a captain," she added to me.

One thing I'll never miss is Deadpool's stupid humor.

"Do you know any of Venom's weaknesses? How are you going to catch her?" I tried to get the conversation back on track.

"Well, shoving a meter of sharp steel up her ass won't hold her for long. Though of all the people I'd tried this game with, Venom felt the most comfortable. Even it took me longer to... let's pretend I didn't say that."

"That's because it takes her some time to heal the host," I ignored the mercenary's jokes. I hope they were jokes.

"Yes, I saw, there's some old woman inside," Deadpool confirmed.

"Dr. Stans," Bobbie perked up, "she's a friend of mine, and I... want to save her, and she's not old."

Bobbie apparently decided not to tell Deadpool her intentions about Venom herself, and told only part of the truth. Smart of her.

"And that poison?" I ask. "I was told by Spider Girl that your plan was to distract Venom and disarm her with the poison."

"Oh," the mercenary said irritably, "the girl shit all over my plan, and I thought we could be friends. And why did she get so mad about that secretary, the one who jumped out the window herself? And I borrowed the poison from the guys who tried to tie Venom up in the hospital... hey, I certainly didn't touch them, they lost their heads without my help."

Deadpoole ran her hand down her throat for clarity, which made Bobby remember the scene and turn green with unpleasant memories.

"Ooh, we're soft! Little girl, maybe you should go home." But the ex-con only gripped the steering wheel tighter.

"Can you show me the poison?" I asked.

The mercenary drew a miniature hand-held injector from one of her many pockets and showed it to us. On the handle I saw the familiar emblem, the Shield.

"Well, I have a hunch about where you might find Venom," both girls stopped talking and turned their attention back to me. "Spider and I were in Connors' lab. From the footprints, Venom had been there and taken some of the equipment and the serum Karen was developing. I don't know how Venom found out about Connors' research, but we know where she might have gone with the stolen equipment."

"Cindy Manor!" Bobby exclaimed. "Why didn't I think of that?! That's where all of Stans' equipment and records are! Do you think Stans wants to continue his work?"

"Oh, mad scientist labs, classic!" DeadPoole perked up. "If there's one thing I'm good at, it's destroying places like this; it's my special talent, one of many."

"Stans isn't crazy!" Bobbie flinched. "Cindy kept her locked up and forced her to do research!"

"Whatever you say, sweetheart," DeadPoole drew one of her pistols and cocked the bolt, "if that's the case, she'll be obedient and I won't have to use this, will she?"

"And why did you do that?" I grinned. "We still have almost an hour to get there, so shove that gun back where you came from, and listen. I've got some ideas for Venom, let's start getting ready right now."

I pointed my hand to the store we needed, and Bobby obediently parked herself.

"Deadpool, do you know about music and car amps?"

"Yeah," the mercenary said.

"You could use a loud, loud sound to fight Venom. It'll mess with the creature, so go pick out the biggest one in the store."

"Okay. I don't know why, but I believe you, I'll be quick," the woman got out of the car and walked briskly into the store, scaring the customers with her appearance.

"Does she even have any money?" Bobby got worried. "I mean, it was a tight suit."

"She must have, she carries ammunition in her pockets, what's the problem with taking the card?" I stopped the girl who was trying to follow Deadpool, "Bobby, you've seen what Venom can do. I know you want to save Stans, but don't try to do anything yourself. The poison capsule has the emblem of a government organization on it, and they've already picked up the trail, and they won't let Venom go, not after all the fuss they made at the hospital and on the streets."

The girl wanted to object to something, but I made a scary face to hint at her silence, Bobby didn't understand what was going on, but she held back her torn objections.

"Right now, thanks to the healing factor, Deadpool is the only one with a chance to stop the symbiote. But I don't know who she's working for. It's entirely possible that giving her Venom is more dangerous than anything that could have happened. After the mercenary disarms the symbiote, the best choice would be to hand it over to the Shield."

"I see," Bobbie whispered. "Do you have something to do with them?"

"No, I just know about them. They don't know about me, and I'd better keep it that way," I paused, and then continued. "But they're probably watching her, and therefore they've already found out about us. I'm pretty sure they'll join in the fun at the mansion."

Finally Bobbie understood the reason for my reticence in the conversation. At no point did I mention that Bobbie was a carrier. The only person who knows that the symbiote was inside Bobbie is Dr. Stans, but she is not yet willing to testify, and we don't know how things will turn out in the future.

There was a commotion from outside the store as frightened customers and some of the staff came running out. Soon the reason appeared: two sweating workers, under the supervision of Deadpool's guns, were carrying an entire music center to our car.

"Cheer up girls, the faster you start, the faster you finish" gun banged on and on, giving out more and more orders. "left wallet at home," Deadpool shrugged at my displeased look.

"Nice" I hissed, "Now we're accomplices to robbery, too."

Two hours and a lot of matting later, we finally arrived at the supposed home of the local version of Venom. Cindy's mansion seemed abandoned: absolute silence, not a living soul in the yard or the neighborhood. The gate was wide open, and there were no guards, of course. Once inside, however, we noticed that the security cameras were working properly and watching us.

"If Venom is here," Bobbie pointed to the camera, "she already knows we're here."

"I like it," DeadPoole reported. "It looks like a typical villain's place. So, boys..." The mercenary thought, looking at me," Oh, yeah, you are a realy guy, I keep forgetting, you're so brave, sweetie..."

I was patted on the face with a leather gloved hand, which made me feel a strong desire to unload the taser right away.

"It's the law of the genre that minor characters like you die in situations like this, so leave the car running so I can use it at any moment, and go home."

The mercenary put her hand on Bobby's shoulder.

"You're a brave girl, Bobby, but this isn't for you; get a boyfriend and a job. Peter," the mercenary's hand moved to my shoulder, "We'll bang, okay?"

Paying no more attention to the kids, Deadpool went inside the building.

"Oh, shit!" She suddenly exclaimed. "I forgot to ask where the lab was!"

The mercenary scratched her head with the muzzle of one of the guns, deciding where to go.

"In my experience, such things are always hidden underground. It's decided - let's go down!" And Deadpool went down.

After a few minutes of wandering and a dozen rooms explored, she found a massive metal door, broken with tremendous force, as if it had been crushed by giant hands. Delighted with her find, Deadpool slipped inside.

"You can't leave me alone," came a menacing hiss as the mercenary crossed the threshold, "but thank you for bringing Parker here."

"And you finally decided to put your tentacles to good use? I told you they could be put to better use," the mercenary said, turning to her voice, "but be careful, boys like it when you play with the prostate gently, and I'm afraid you have a problem with that. But that's all right, I'll share my experience with you."

"Who do you think you are?" In spite of all her excellent reflexes, Deadpool missed the first punch and found herself pinned to the floor with her shoulder pierced by a branch of Venom's black flesh.

The symbiote hovered over her face, threatening her with its sharp rows of teeth as gleaming as Terry Crews' smile. But the mercenary kept a low profile, even if she was scared.

- I'm Deadpool. The most talkative of all mercenaries," the woman decided to introduce herself. "And I like trunks, swords, lawnmowers, and other things that should be kept out of the reach of children. Like grenades! I have so many of them scattered around all kinds of dark and damp places that I don't even know what effect each one has. Let's find out!"

The mercenary shoved her hand into the monster's open mouth, with a grenade clutched in it. Venom wanted to retreat, but Deadpool was faster - she used her free hand to first, sever the hand that had become the weapon, then thrust her blade into the creature's chin to keep it from spitting out the hand and grenade.

There was no more time to get out, and a second later the blast ripped apart the Venom's upper body, hitting Deadpool herself with a barrage of shrapnel, some of which hit her brain, knocking her out for a few seconds. And that should have been the end of Stance's story as a symbiote host, for half of her head was ripped open by the blast. Аnd if Peter Parker had been here, he would have noticed that such brain damage could not have been repaired by the symbiote of his world.

Waking up, Deadpool saw the mass of the symbiote fill in the missing segments of the woman's skull, and then begin to repair them, and soon only the lack of gray hair on her wrinkled skull was a reminder of the trauma.

"Oh," Deadpool groaned, rising, "that was powerful. I see you enjoyed it, too, but it's only foreplay."

With a quick jerk, Deadpool injected the venom into the woman's chest, taking advantage of the fact that the symbiote hadn't fully recovered from the explosion and had not yet hidden her body under its protection.

"Now there's going to be sex," Deadpool finished, and was promptly thrown back by a blow of her hand, "though you probably don't know what it's like."

The symbiote immediately concealed the host's body and threw the injector away.

"Fool! It should have been injected into the symbiote, not the human host!" Venom laughed.

"Damn! I should have read the instructions!" The mercenary rushed to the exit, but Venom wasn't about to let her go this time.

For all Deadpool's outstanding skills, she was no match for the symbiote's escape. The mercenary had barely run out into the lobby of the mansion when she felt her feet tugging away from the floor. She looked down and saw a tentacle sticking out of her chest. And then the symbiote's mighty muscles tore Deadpool's body in half in the abdominal area and scattered the pieces to different corners of the building.

"You miserable little bug!" The symbiote spat, and had already turned her back on Deadpool when the mercenary spoke again.

"Why on earth would you do that? It would take me hours to grow new legs! And that hurts, by the way!"

"When are you going to die?!" Venom hissed and moved toward the talking half, who was trying to crawl toward the exit.

"For a human, your survivability is astonishing," Venom remarked, unceremoniously piercing Deadpool's upper body with her claws.

"You don't say! - Spitting blood, but still smiling, Deadpool spoke. "Your daddy's cock was really amazing, and the way he used his tongue up my ass was like a fairy tale."

"You idiot!" The symbiote's mouth opened and Stance's face appeared. "My mother used artificial insemination."

"Ugh, if she was as pretty as you, I'm not surprised. How old are you? Ninety? A hundred?"

"I'm just wasting my time with you, you scum! Where's Parker? He came with you, didn't he?"

"Closer than you think," Deadpool smiled.

Just then the sound of an engine reached their ears, and the next second the front doors of the manor were blown open by the bumper of a truck that had been stolen from the manor not so long ago. Turning abruptly, the car stopped in the middle of the hall, with its body towards the fighting men. From behind the sides of the car could be seen the imposing speakers.

"Did you order disco?" Parker, standing between the speakers, asked, flicking a switch.

But instead of music, the noise came out of the speakers, and the intensity was so great that even Deadpool's head felt bad, because unlike Parker and Bobby, she wasn't wearing protective headphones. Peter himself was watching Venom's reactions closely and flipping the toggle switch on his phone, changing the frequency.

Fortunately for the former Spider, this Venom was just as vulnerable to sonic attack as the one Peter dealt with in his world. It was squirming in agony, and it peeled away from Stans' body in large chunks, until it separated completely.

Having achieved the desired result, Peter hurried to the symbiote and, using tools he'd bought at the hardware store, placed it in a thick metal bucket with a tight rubberized lid. Only then did he turn off the noise.

"Thank God!" came from the side where Deadpool's remains lay. "This thing is worse than any torture I've ever dealt with."

"Doctor," Bobbie jumped out of the cab of the truck and rushed to the woman who had fallen to the floor. "what..." she looked shocked into the face of the woman she knew, "what's the matter with you, doctor?"

"Isn't anyone going to worry about me?" Deadpool wailed. " They made a kebab out of me, and she's only out!"

"Passed out? Can't you see she's old," said Bobbie.

"Why, shouldn't she be?" Deadpool wondered, walking over to the others.

She moved with the help of feet and a surviving arm that grew right out of her belly. Her costume was barely intact after her close encounter with Venom, and now she was flaunting her cancer-riddled, torture scarred body in all its glory.

"You're a walking zombie horror," Peter whistled and turned his gaze to Stans, "and she was about sixty years younger the last time I saw her."