Child of Thorns - A Pokemon Sinnoh Reimagining

Before her own comfort, safety and everything else regarding her own well-being, Siffa always made sure to behave.

It endeared her to the ones that took care of her, and made her the favorite child in their eyes. Said behavior also earned her a preferential treatment when compared to all the other girls in the convent. However, that was not the reason why she did it. As a matter of fact, she resented it. Preferential treatment meant she stood out, and those who stood out always shone brightly enough for others to notice.

She didn't want others to notice her. She didn't want to be special. All she wanted was to scurry from one cold, rough concrete corridor to the next, gathering what she needed and retreating back to her room not a second too soon. Having to get food from the cafeteria was bad enough. If it were up to her, she would've had it delivered to her room every day. And she would stay there, eating, sleeping, staring at the ceiling, day in, day out, until she finally died of old age, forgotten an unnoticed.

But of course, that would've caused problems for her caretakers, and she would rather die than inconvenience them. She always, always behaved. Not because she wanted anything out of it.

It was simply the least she could do. Sister Cinder had told her that the best way to atone for one's mistakes was to be kind and understanding, a lesson she had taken to heart.

She wasn't naïve, of course. She knew full well that, no matter how many years she continued acting like this, the filth of her sins would never disappear off her bloodied hands. But still… If she could keep at it for the rest of her life, if she could ease just a little bit of the burden she carried before she died…

Maybe, just maybe, her eternal punishment wouldn't be too harsh. A selfish reason to be good, yes, but it was the only one she had, and she clung to it like a drowning man to a raft amidst a tempestuous ocean.

It really was a shame. If she'd kept at it for a few years, for the rest of her life perhaps, maybe she could have begun to heal. Maybe she could have one day felt happiness again.

Unfortunately, she never considered the possibility that her punishment would come to her in life.

It all began with the voices outside in the corridor.

That day had been one of the calmest ones for Siffa, and it was mostly thanks to Luna.

It had been Sister Cinder's idea. A therapy Pokemon that could help her through her recurrent panic attacks and restless, nightmare-filled nights. All the other girls in the convent had been scared of her screaming and crying, so the Sisters had been kind enough to give her a room of her own, and now they'd gone a step further and gotten her Luna to help her through the worst of her episodes.

Siffa had been wary of the Glameow at first, especially when Sister Cinder had said something along the lines of 'look at those eyes of hers, they're the same as yours!' as what she must have thought was a compliment. Still, it's not like she could say no. The Sisters had been so good to her, accepting their gift was the least she could do. Besides, maybe the Glameow wouldn't like her. Maybe she'd abandon her after a few weeks, doing both of them a favor.

And yet the little bugger had persisted. Night after night she snuggled up to her when she went to bed and day after day she accompanied her everywhere she went, purring and rubbing her head against her leg whenever Siffa was getting too caught up in her own thoughts. Luna was kind and persistent and –much like Siffa– she never asked for anything in exchange for said kindness. Maybe that's why she slowly began to get attached to her.

A pet here, a scratch behind her ears there. Before she knew it she'd started snuggling back against her. They would both stay up long into the night, staring out the window from their bed, only the moon and her cloak of stars coming to meet their gaze.

"I… guess I should name you," Siffa had said one night, out of the blue. It was the first time she'd spoken in almost a week. "Luna… do you like it?"

The motor-like purr and the way she rubbed her head against Siffa's stomach was enough reply. It was… an odd feeling. Being with her. She didn't make her feel… good. Nothing did. And yet she didn't feel bad either. The last few nights had been surprisingly free of nightmares, which might have been relieving if she weren't so wholly unaccustomed to it.

Siffa looked down at the Glameow as sleep began to take hold of her, and while she didn't actually smile, the edges of her lips quirked up ever so slightly.

"Yeah… it is a pretty name."

That was the last night of pleasant sleep Siffa ever got.

The next morning, she was woken up by steps echoing off the hallway outside. Siffa was a girl of light sleep. A habit she'd been… forced to develop in her early years. She came to consciousness with a jolt, jumping off the bed and simply staying there, eyes wide and heart beating in her ears. Luna was quick to react. She meowed and purred and tried to get her attention, though what finally made Siffa lower her guard was the sound of Sister Cinder's voice on the other side of the door.

"A-and… are you sure tha– I mean… her? Y-you can't… She's already gone through…"

Siffa wasn't good at picking up on people's emotions, especially through their voice, something that had earned her a good number of beatings in the past. As such, the fear and panic in Sister Cinder's voice didn't put her on high alert.

The voice of the man accompanying her, however, did.

"Now, now. Is this really the time for regret? You've been so helpful to us, so kind and considerate to all these kids… haven't you?"

"I-I…"

"And you want to continue helping them, yes?"

There was something incredibly unsettling about his voice. It sounded… kind, yet the shiver that ran down her spine as she heard it…

"I… I know this is the only way but… Siffa…"

"She meets our requirements like no other child has before. She is the perfect candidate."

"That… is precisely why. Her family… she's been through enough already. Can't she just…?"

"Live a normal life? Come now, Cinder, you know very well that's not a possibility. Not for this girl."

The silence that followed was heavy and suffocating, as though Sister Cinder were creating it by simply holding her breath. Siffa didn't know why, but she could perfectly imagine the woman's hands shaking.

"She will be taken care of," continued the man after a few seconds. He sounded reassuring. "She will not go hungry, and she will achieve far more than she ever would if she stays here. And in exchange, the convent will receive the funding we've promised. You'll be able to keep helping all these kids without worrying about the future. Everyone wins."

"I-I…"

"And besides…" Siffa could hear the smile as it formed on his face. "…We only have room for one more in our little… program. So after today, you can be confident in that you'll never see me again."

"Y-You… do you promise that?"

"On my mother's grave."

There was another, shorter silence as Sister Cinder took a deep, shaking breath and exhaled what almost sounded like a sob.

"V-very well. Here, let's…"

So entranced Siffa was in their conversation that she jumped as the door opened, even though she should have seen it coming. Luna was quick to act. She jumped next to Siffa's leg and hissed at the man as he entered the room.

"L-Luna… it's okay," Siffa shushed her. "Er-sorry, she just…"

"That's just fine, girl. I know how overprotective Pokemon can be." The man let out a chuckle and a smile that didn't extend to his face. "So… you're Siffa, eh? I've heard about you but still… darn, those eyes sure are something else."

Siffa immediately recoiled at the comment, raising a hand to her face and pressing her fingers against the bags under her blood red eyes. She'd always hated them. And it was a big reason most of the other girls were scared of her, if the random screaming and panic attacks hadn't been enough to put them off.

"Hmm… hi. Yeah, I'm… I'm Siffa," she whispered, barely loud enough to be heard. She didn't make eye contact with the man. "Er…"

Sister Cinder took a step forward, fingers closed strongly over the hem of her skirt.

"Siffa, this-this is…" She gulped as she raised a hand to the side, gesturing at the man. "His name is Nikov. He… works for the government." There was a short pause before she said that, as though she were having trouble believing it herself. "He… Well…"

Cinder took one last look at Siffa and pressed her lips so tightly they turned white. Siffa had never been good at reading expressions, yet the shame and pity in the woman's face were clear even to her.

"He… Mister Nikov will now take you and Luna to your new home," she said. "Y-you may have the rest of the day off to say goodbye to… anyone or anything you wish."

There wasn't anyone other than Sister Cinder whom Siffa wanted to say goodbye to, so it was only a few minutes before she and Luna were guided into the back of a black, fancy car and driven off to their new home.

The building didn't look like much from the outside, yet soon she realized that the inside stretched far deep underground, at least half a mile, judging by how much she had to walk to get to her new room. She was searched before entering by security. Luna was taken by someone dressed entirely in black, and the man accompanying her hurried to reassure her before she could complain.

"She'll be back to you in no time," he said with one of those too-wide smiles. "We just want to give her a check-up, that's all."

Her room was small, yet she somewhat preferred that. She'd never known what to do with the extra space in her old room and her new bed looked quite comfortable, so she couldn't complain. There were no windows though, for obvious reasons. That was a bit disappointing, though again, she couldn't complain. Not to her new caretakers.

"You know… I'm surprised by how well you're taking all of this."

Siffa turned and blinked at him confusedly.

"I-I'm just… doing what I was told," she whispered. "Is that… bad?"

"Of course not! I was just making an observation." He swiped at the air with one hand. "Tell me, Siffa, do you know what this place is? Do you know what we are?"

It should've been obvious she had no idea, but she shook her head anyway.

"You could call us a rather… small branch of the government, although we do enjoy a high degree of individuality. We specialize in the… training of young prodigies, you could say."

"T-training?"

"Yes. These are turbulent times, are they not? How long has this horrible war been raging for? Someone has to do something to stop it. Don't you agree?"

The war… Siffa had heard of it, certainly. Both the Sisters and the other girls in the convent usually talked about it, referencing recent developments or tragedies, yet she'd never been one to care much for it. She didn't know any of those people. She'd never been outside the convent or her old home. To her, the idea of a whole world out there might as well have been a fantasy.

"I guess."

Nikov extended his arms to the side, extending his already wide smile. "That is precisely why we exist. Much like the Kantans, we've come up with our own little magic bullet to aid in helping the war, though unlike those savages and their rumored bio-weapon of mass destruction, we've found a… sneakier, subtler approach." As he said that, he lowered his arms until his palms were facing her. "And you, Siffa, will aid us in this endeavor."

Siffa's eyes widened slightly as realization dawned on her. And yet, the fear and panic that should have flooded her and paralyzed her –as they would have with any normal girl– were nothing but weak, distant embers. No more bothersome than an itch. It wasn't surprising. Why would she be afraid? Nothing meant enough to her that she'd be sad to leave it behind if she died.

"…Soldiers," she muttered, her gaze falling to the ground. "You're recruiting child soldiers. Is that right?"

Nikov chuckled, looking genuinely surprised.

"Cinder was not kidding. You are quick on the draw." He tipped his head, as though he were giving a compliment. "You've got the right idea, although we don't quite like the term 'child soldiers', for obvious reasons."

Siffa disregarded that with a shake of her head, a look of confusion on her face.

"I… I don't understand. Why me? I'm not…" She shrugged, letting her arms fall to the sides. "I'm not special or anything."

"Oh, but you are." Nikov placed a hand against his chest and smiled. "Cinder told us about your… numerous strengths. Your grades surpass those of your classmates by a generous degree and you don't even have to try that hard. And in regards to your physical abilities, your speed, strength and reflexes would put even most adults to shame." There was something sinister about the sudden excitement in his voice, as well as the hungry look in his eyes. "That, combined with your past circumstances and the fact you're only thirteen years old makes it clear that you are nothing short of a prodigy. We couldn't have hoped for a better catch!"

It was subtle, yet quickly cascading, like the pain of being stabbed. Siffa hadn't realized at first what Nikov had said. It took her mind a few seconds to process those two words.

Past circumstances…

Something creaked in her mind, jagged, painful shards digging into her subconscious like the claws of a vicious Pokemon. She let out a grunt and took a step back. Her shaking hands pressed against her temples with as much strength as she could muster, and it was only after a few long, crawling seconds of slow, controlled breathing that she was able to gather herself.

So momentarily preoccupied she was that it didn't cross her mind that Nikov not only hadn't stepped forward to help her. He hadn't stopped smiling either.

N-no, I heard… I heard him wrong. He didn't say anything about… Agh! A furious whiplash, like a tongue of flames licking at the inside of her mind. No, it was nothing! Stop thinking about it!

"So… what do you say, Siffa?"

Talking. Nikov was talking. Instead of taking that as a bad sign, Siffa was simply grateful for an excuse to focus on something else, anything else.

"W-what?"

"Will you join us?" He really tried to imbue the notion of choice in his voice, though even Siffa knew it was but appearances. "If you don't wish to–"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it."

Nikov was caught off guard by her immediate response. The facade of his smile even dropped for a second, momentarily replaced by surprise.

"Y-you'll… feed me, right? And let me sleep here?" she asked. "And… take care of me?"

"I… yes, of course," said Nikov. It took him a second to regain his cheerful tone. "And much more, I assure you. It's the least we can do for our new little prodigy."

Siffa nodded, then looked to the side, away from those scathingly bright eyes of his. She felt as though something cold heavy had sunk into the depths of her stomach, but as usual, she chose to ignore it.

"… Alright."

That's all I need, she thought, somber. In the end, it's not much different from the convent. Besides, this way it'll be easier. If they're gonna make me a soldier, a mistake is all it would take and I'd be… Finally…

"I am very happy to hear that, Siffa."

Nikov gave her a slow, respectful nod, then folded his hands behind his back.

"Very well, then. I believe it's time I go. I'll give you some space and let you explore your new home for today. Though remember, you cannot leave this floor." He waggled a finger at that, like a teacher would. "If you have any questions about where anything is, the guards would be more than happy to help you out."

"I… yeah. Okay."

Nikov was already at the door by the time he looked over his shoulder one last time, flashing her one of his unnerving smiles.

"Make sure to rest well tonight," he said. "Tomorrow, your new life begins. Your… instructor will come to meet you early in the morning. I sincerely hope you two will get along wonderfully. Oh and, of course… Welcome to the team, Siffa."

The sound as the heavy metal door slammed shut reminded Siffa of bones snapping.

That night, the nightmares came back in full force, and Luna was not there to help Siffa through them.

At least she was grateful that the walls of her new room were thick enough that no one would be able to hear her sobbing through the night.

Siffa was already awake by the time the pale woman entered her room. In truth, both her body and herself would've welcomed a little more sleep, but if there was one thing she absolutely despised was being awoken by someone else's presence. As such, she made sure to get out of bed barely minutes after the sun began to rise in the horizon.

And a few minutes after that, she appeared.

"Get up, girl, we–"

The woman stopped on the sill of the door, one hand still on the knob, clearly surprised.

"…Huh. You're the first I didn't need to wake up myself," she muttered to herself. "Let's hope that's a good sign."

Siffa stood there in silence, similarly shocked. She hadn't expected her instructor to look so… delicate. She was short and scrawny, the black beanie covering her shaved head contrasting with the marble-like paleness of her skin. The woman couldn't have been older than twenty, and yet…

W-why do I… Just by looking at her… Siffa swallowed hard, a sudden shiver running down her back. What is this feeling? Who is this woman?

Judging by what she said next, the woman seemed to have read that question in Siffa's expression.

"My name is Asta. I'll be your instructor for the following months." There was no care or passion neither in her voice nor expression as she spoke. After saying that, she reached with one hand to the inside of her jacket. "Let's see here…"

She flipped through the folder's pages disinterestedly, and yet even those she seemed to find more interesting than the living girl standing before her. Siffa didn't dare move or make a sound. A creeping, bad feeling was clawing at her from her stomach outwards.

"… Siffa, eh? So you're the one Nikov was talking about." Asta let out a scoff, shaking her head. "Decrepit bastard… yeah it all looks really nice here on paper, but when I'm looking at you…"

It felt as though an electric shock passed through Siffa's body when Asta's gaze fell on her.

"I figured from what I read that you might not be entirely ready for training just yet," she said, frowning. "You can have all the qualifications in the world, but for a job like this if you're not ready to do what you gotta do… then you won't last a second out there. And most importantly, you'll be wasted money on my part."

Siffa had to struggle to get the words out.

"I-I… I don't understand. What do you mean?"

"I'm saying your eyes look lifeless, girl," said Asta matter of factly. "An assassin must be cold, yes, but there's no point if they're so desensitized that they don't care whether they live or d–"

"W-wait!" Siffa's hands went to her chest. Her eyes widened. "A-a-assassin? W-what do you mean?"

"Hm? Oh…" Asta lowered the folder to her side and let out an irritated sigh. "Let me guess; Nikov didn't tell you everything, did he? I'm guessing he tried to soften the blow?" She let out a dismissive chuckle. "I swear, I don't know if he thinks he's trying to help but he's making it way worse on you and all the others."

"I-I… he said… that I'd be a soldier," whispered Siffa. "T-that's why…"

"Alright, that's enough."

Like a startled Growlithe, Siffa froze and stopped talking as soon as that hint of danger gleamed behind Asta's eyes. Her heart began to beat faster, so much so that she felt lightheaded.

"You'll probably hate me for this, kid, but if there's one thing I've learned in this line of work is that the quicker, more abruptly you rip the band aid off, the easier it'll be later." She rubbed the back of her neck and sighed. "So I'll give it to you straight. Yeah, your mental and physical attributes are a nice bonus, but there's one main reason we scouted you."

Again, that creaking. Sharp and sudden, as though her brain were folding itself, every nerve ending surrounding it flaring up in agony. The muscles on her arms went painfully stiff.

"S-stop…"

"Unlike our other recruits, you don't lack the necessary experience for the job, do you?"

Siffa pressed her hands against her ears and shook her head strongly enough to feel dizzy. "A-agh! S-s-stop!"

"Nikov told me the story. Three years ago–"

"STOP!"

"–your killed your mother with your own hands, in an act of self defense."

All strength left Siffa's legs. She fell on her knees with a deaf thump, her whole body stiff and shaking, fingernails digging into her scalp around her ears. A scream tried to dig itself out of her throat, but she could not force it out. Instead, the deepest, rawest sense of nausea shot up her throat.

"BLHR–GHK!"

It felt like a spike of fire being driven through her stomach upwards. She fell forward, hitting her forearms against the ground, vomit and bile splashing onto the floor, her spine arching painfully like that of a pained Glameow. She took a sudden, panicked breath, but had to cough it out a second later due to the intense pain in her chest.

No… nononono, this isn't… I didn't…

Another spike of pain, this one so intense every muscle in her body shook as though she were naked in the middle of a blizzard. Her breaths came quick and ragged. Every exhalation sounded more like a mix between a scream and a sob and no matter how much she tried to force air back into her lungs it was never enough and suddenly she knew that she was about to suffocate and die and–

"See, this is exactly the reason I was having doubts."

Siffa's head shot up desperately to look at Asta, fingers clawing at her throat, a look of pure terror and panic etched into her face.

Please… p-please, help…

She had never been good at reading people. Had she been, she would have instantly realized that there was no care or mercy in Asta's eyes.

"I hope you don't mind me saying it," she muttered, tone disappointed, "but I find it pretty idiotic that you're so ashamed of the only time in your life you were truly alive."

Talking. She was talking. Siffa tried with every cell in her being to focus on what she was saying, to listen instead of hurting, but it was like trying to understand what someone was saying at the end of a long and narrow tunnel.

"You've always been obedient, haven't you? You've done whatever others say just so they would leave you alone, so you could stay still and quiet in the background, slowly vanishing from everyone's sight. You wanted everyone to leave you alone. But let me tell you a little secret…" Asta knelt in front of Siffa, who still gasped and clawed at her throat and chest in a desperate attempt to breathe. "…They never will. Not for as long as you're the person you are now. Having someone around who'll do whatever you say without complaining… it's too tempting. Too easy to take advantage of. Even good people would eventually cave in."

"Gh…Kgh..." Siffa swallowed, the taste of blood and bile sticking to her teeth and gums. "P-please, s-s-stop…"

"But your mother was not a good person, was she? She used you without remorse, without a second thought, and when things started to go horribly wrong, she blamed you for it." The shadow of a smile crossed her lips as she pointed with one finger at Siffa's face. "She beat you and abused you and justified it all on you obviously being a demon child because of those eyes of yours. And when she finally had enough of you…"

"No… n-no…"

Asta chuckled to herself, shaking her head. She rose to her feet again and folded her arms disinterestedly.

"Why do you deny it? You did nothing wrong," she said. "She tried to kill you and you defended yourself. For once in your life, your desire to live took hold of you, but instead of letting it bloom and grow, you buried it under a mountain of guilt and self-hatred. It's asinine."

Siffa didn't want to listen anymore. She wanted to sink her nails into the skin of her ears and rip them off, but every muscle in her body was either stiff or shaking so badly she could barely move.

I-it's… it's not true, I…

But it was, wasn't it? When she'd seen her, her own mother, coming at her with that cold, hopeless look on her face, when she'd seen her raise that knife… a new feeling had sprouted back then, hadn't it?

No! There was nothing…!

It was intoxicating and beautiful. Like boiling blood rushing through her veins, setting her nerves ablaze. For the first time in her life… she'd felt awake. Alive. And when she'd knocked her mother down, when she'd taken the knife with her own hands even though she could've easily thrown it away and escaped…

It… it felt…

Yes… the most pleasant, most triumphant feeling had spread through her body, blooming through her chest like a heartbeat with every consecutive stab. She'd lost herself in it. Like a dam breaking inside her heart, letting out a flood which swallowed her whole. Even when her mother had gone limp, she didn't stop stabbing until the blade of the knife itself broke.

Even now, she couldn't remember if the sound blaring through the room, the sound that alerted the neighbors that something was wrong, had been her screaming or her laughter.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm s-so sorry, I didn't mean to… I swear…"

"You don't have to apologize to me. Not now, not ever," said Asta. "As long as you get that fire in your belly back … I get the feeling we'll get along just fine."

Siffa shook her head strongly. "I can't! P-please, don't make me…"

"Sorry, but I wasn't asking."

Asta snapped her fingers, and instantly Siffa felt something wrong. The air of the room was pulled back as though by a vacuum and a second after there was a purple flash as a creature materialized from nowhere. A screech of fear left her throat. She threw herself back as though pushed by a spring, the sight of the Pokemon before her turning her blood cold.

"This… is my partner Sabrina." Asta placed a hand on the Gardevoir's shoulders, smiling. "She'll be helping me convince you."

Siffa tried to rise to her knees again, but her body simply wouldn't obey. Her legs slid and she fell back, barely stopping herself from slamming the back of her head against the floor.

"D-don't… hurt me, please…"

"There's no need to worry," muttered Asta with a satisfied smile. "Neither of us will. Sabrina…"

The Gardevoir did not wait for instructions. She raised a finger ever so slightly, sending out a burst of psychic energy which stretched out all throughout the room, placing a translucent barrier between them and Siffa.

"W-wha…?"

Then she pressed one finger against another. There was a snap like that of a gunshot and something else materialized on Siffa's side of the room, barely a few feet from her. It looked like… a plastic container? No, those grates on the front… it was a cage. But what…?

Something moved inside the cage. It lunged forward, trying to escape, and just then Siffa was able to see who was inside. Her heart leapt to her throat.

"LUNA!" Her scream came out broken and jagged. "HERE, I–!"

She lunged forward without a second thought, but just as she placed her hands around the cage looking for a way to get her out, something silver gleamed from inside the cage. The air whistled.

"Gryaa!"

"GRHK!"

Siffa jumped back, a thin streak of blood trailing behind the three shallow cuts between her thumb and index finger. She gasped, then looked back at Luna. The Glameow slashed at the air outside the cage over and over, trying to harm someone who wasn't there anymore.

"L-Luna?"

There was no recognition at the sound of her own name. She slashed and slammed against the cage over and over, fangs bared, the look on her face rabid, feral. She couldn't have looked more different than how Siffa remembered her.

"What… w-wh…?"

"That… would be our fault," Asta said just then. "Consider this your one and only aptitude test. Here, feel free to use this."

Asta threw something at her, the object passing through the barrier as though it weren't there, and Siffa flinched, instinctively reaching for it. It was… small and long, its weight strangely familiar in her hand.

A hunting knife.

"N…NHK!" She let it fall to the ground and grabbed her head with both hands, grunting in agony. "N-no! Nonono…!"

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice," Asta said coolly. "Sabrina here has done quite a number on that Glameow, so even in the off chance that she does recognize you, it won't matter one bit. She's hurting, furious and most importantly, starving." There was no enjoyment, no emotion in any kind in her voice as she said that. "In ten seconds the cage will open, and you'll have a decision to make."

"NO!" bellowed Siffa, so loud and strongly that she felt something in her throat rip and tear. "PLEASE! J-JUST… JUST KILL ME! I-I… I don't want to…!"

"If you really want to die, then don't worry. Luna will take care of that," she said. "But if there's still even the faintest desire inside you, if you want to feel again what it's like to be alive…"

There was a click, and the cage began to slid open.

"STOP!" begged Siffa, tears streaming down her face. "LUNA!"

"…then you know what you must do."

The cage flew open. A grey blur jumped from inside, streaking toward Siffa at such incredible, desperate speed that she had no time to even scream as she felt a weight on her chest, followed by the sharp hotness of two sets of claws digging into her skin.

"AGHK!"

"GRYAAH!"

The next few seconds felt like hours. A blur of pain, sorrow and desperation as Siffa crawled through the little space on their side of the barrier, screaming and begging at the top of her lungs. Lashes of fiery pain streaked across every inch of her skin. Trails of blood flew all over the room, staining Luna's fur and the floor around them in irregular dark splotches.

P-please… i-it hurts, please…

Siffa jumped up and made one last attempt to escape, but her shoe slid on a small puddle of blood and she fell face-first to the ground again. Luna was upon her in seconds, and yet…

Maybe…

She stopped trying to escape. Crying, shaking, she somehow found the strength to curl herself into a ball and stayed still as a plank as Luna continued carving bloody trails into her skin.

Maybe if Luna got it over with fast enough… Maybe if she just finally died like she'd clearly been supposed to so long ago… Maybe she wouldn't have to feel that again. She wouldn't have to hurt Luna or–

No… I-I can't! I want…

It began to bloom again, and Siffa cried out in fear more at the feeling than any of the pain she'd been forced to endure. That feeling. That boiling, bubbling hotness in her chest, spreading outwards through her veins, sending powerful shivers down her spine…

I… I want to live. I want…

Siffa had tried to lock that feeling away for so long. She thought that maybe if she stayed away from others, if she kept herself in a constant, drowning state of apathy and numbness, she could save others from the monster that lived within her. She thought… she really thought that, despite everything, there was a chance that she could someday have a normal life. Of course, she hadn't expected people like her mother, like Cinder, like Nikov and Asta. She hadn't expected the very dregs of humanity to test her to her limits.

Then again, in the end, it wasn't their fault. They were simply a symptom of a bigger, more unpleasant truth Siffa had known ever since she could remember.

I… I wasn't born to ever be happy.

There was a sharp, flaring pain on the meat of her shoulder as Luna sank her fangs to the base. Siffa screamed. And just like that, like a dam breaking, the fire she'd been trying so hard to control overflowed from the depths of her chest.

"HAAAAAAAA!"

Siffa's bloodied fingers closed around the scruff of Luna's neck, and with more strength than she or anyone else would've expected from her, she raised her off her shoulder and threw her across the room with a rabid, triumphant roar. There was a thump and a grunt as she crashed against the psychic barrier, although that did not stop her for long. She jumped to her feet again and snarled at Siffa, preparing to pounce.

That's when she saw it. The knife, laying on the ground just between them.

My life doesn't mean anything. It isn't worth anything, but still…!

Luna jumped. Siffa's body moved before she realized what she was doing.

I…!

Her fingers closed around the handle of the knife. Luna was inches from her, flying through the air with a feral, primal expression of fury that perfectly mirrored that of her old friend. Covered in cuts and blood from head to toe, Siffa used the last of her strength and stabbed up, the sound of her ungodly scream swallowing the whistle of the blade as it cut through the air.

I WANT TO LIVE!

There was a moment of resistance against the blade, followed by a sharp, meaty sound and the feeling of something hot and wet spraying her hands and fingers. Luna's body held in place for a long, crawling second.

Then she fell to Siffa's feet, and did not move again.