ALL NOVEL 37: At Last, a Foothold
The two stared at each other with serious eyes for a long moment, the violet of Kana's peeking out from behind her mask's sockets just enough for Fuzō to see. The gentle rustling of water droplets falling from trees and splashing onto the underbrush colored the otherwise silent surroundings in the wake of the fading rain.
"Please understand me when I say that I had to try and go about it this way, since I could not bear ask you directly. I respect your concerns and your privacy too much. But now with this... well, I think we've more to discuss." Fuzō said softly, her face wearing a tired yet compassionate look. Kana still didn't quite understand this thing called compassion.1Specifically compassion from others. Though ironically, she is also largely unaware of her own compassionate tendencies towards Fuzō (or at least how they appear to Fuzō). This may have some unintended consequences with others later? ;)
Their eyes held each other's gaze for a while longer, somewhere within which Kana saw the sincerity that Fuzō wished to convey.
Nodding slightly, Kana found her own words. "Indeed, that... would seem best." she agreed.
Contrary to her own expectations, Kana felt herself grow cool and calm inside. Some discomfort and anxiety from the journey here had actually dissipated.
This was due in part, she realized, to confirming that her instincts were right, that something was off with Fuzō's recent behavior, and that trusting her feelings of unease was correct. The world seemed to make just a little bit more sense for a moment, even if this only raised more questions for the future.
Glancing around, Fuzō pointed to an outcrop of large flat rocks that lined a nearby segment of the path, "There, why don't we have a seat over there. We should have a talk about it before going further. Would that be alright? Having a conversation like this while being held in your arms might be a bit..."
She paused and let out another laugh, the woman's expression filling with ironic amusement.
A slight twinge of concern grew in the back of Kana's mind when she heard that laugh. This time, it was a sound that seemed genuine but now somehow pained.
The slightly unsettling laughter continued as Kana followed the suggestion and they made their way over to the rocks.
It was only after setting Fuzō down on a roughly bench-shaped rock that the laughter tapered off and the woman's face grew lonesome again. Kana sat on a similar rock next to Fuzō so that they could face each other.
After a relieving sigh, Fuzō spoke first. Her expression held a strange kind of amused sadness. Kana directed her thoughts and concerns wholly on what she might learn from this conversation.
"Like I said, I don't pretend to know your circumstances or what you suffered through to escape that- the war, but... from what I've seen we've both somehow survived tremendous pain. We're both alone... together."
Fuzō brought her hands up from her lap to look at her palms, her bandaged left arm shuddering somewhat weakly with the effort. Kana watched her efforts with silence, but acknowledged her statement with a nearly imperceptible nod. What did Fuzō know? Where was this going? Eventually Kana was going to have to ask anyway, if she wanted to resolve what she'd felt on the journey here.
Fuzō showed a slanted smile this time, eyeing her own trembling body, "I show my pain like this, though sometimes the hurt is so great that I almost can't feel anything anymore. It's like my mind can't even keep up with all of the grief and pain and hatred anymore, no matter how awful the situation around me becomes, and that feels so ridiculous now that I just have to laugh."
And just as she said, her shoulders trembled with trickle of laughter, her expression filled with a somewhat unhinged mirth. It was a bit disturbing to see, how hurt and vulnerable Fuzō was allowing herself to appear. And how profoundly different it was from her relaxed and kind laugh from before.
Slowly but surely, Fuzō leaned forward and forced herself onto her feet, using her good arm to grasp a nearby tree for support.
It was obviously an effort, but her eyes maintained contact with Kana's the whole time, eyes demanding that the girl witness her struggle without interfering. Once she held her own weight on her feet, the woman straightened her back with a dignified air and stared right at Kana's mask, as if penetrating right through it. Sometimes Kana almost wondered if she could.
"You can tell just from hearing, right, the differences in my laughter? Perhaps you know what I mean right away.
But Kana-chan, I can tell your silence is the same as my laughter. Sometimes the sounds of silence are just as revealing. And once I knew that, I could not bear to ignore it."
She paused, waving a hand gesturing to herself and the state of her body,
"Just as I forced myself to stand despite my wounds, I can see you struggle onward despite immense worries and pains, whatever they may be. In that respect, please understand that we are the same.
Understand that I understand.
I will never try to force you to tell me anything, but still I- ...knowing some things would allow me to help you, whereas now I do not even know what I could do for you. I can just try my best, so please keep that in mind."
Fuzō took a deep breath to calm and stabilize herself.
Kana meanwhile didn't know what to feel as she internalized those words. Had she failed again? Was her acting and disguise not good enough? Was she revealing her secrets unknowingly? Nobody could know!
But the offer of help... somehow riled up complex emotions within Kana. Fear and hope... a recipe for tense nerves.
Only after meeting Michiko and the Yuka convoy had she even considered that anyone would ever help her.
Even then, she knew no one she could truly trust. But why did they even try in the first place...? Why? If she understood that, then maybe it could be possible someday. But, Fuzō was... what was Fuzō to Kana, after what they'd been through to get here? What was Kana to her? What-?
Her uneasiness ramping up, Kana whispered a hesitant inquiry, "What are you saying? What is it...that you know?"
Fuzō's eyebrows knitted with concern in response. She reached out her hand before hesitantly pulling it back, clenching it to her chest, fingers digging into the fabric of her coat tightly. Such a reaction...? It had Kana somewhat distracted.
"Sometimes... No, most times I can hardly believe it, that such a sweet girl has dealt with so much, worries so earnestly and with such caution." Fuzō shook her head, gaze pointed downward, "I don't know why you are so desperate to hide, but...to me your silence and your actions convinced me of your sincerity regardless.
...
I pay attention and hear more than you think. I don't know if could explain it in detail, but I could never bring myself to trample on that sincerity you showed me."
The woman leaned her back fully against the nearby tree now, folding her right arm up under her chest to grasp her wounded forearm, stopping it from trembling. A few lines of tears streamed from the corners of her eyes as she looked to the side, but she made no effort to wipe them away now. This woman struggled every second to hold herself together.
"I truly appreciate what you've done for me. To be alone in a war like that... and to make it out alive. To make it all the way here, and to bring me out of it alive as well, even under attack. To pretend to be someone you aren't, to hide from everyone you meet, all the while trying to soothe my pain.
You are the only reason I am even remotely sane at this point. I'm sorry, but you have to know these are feats far beyond someone so young.
But when you showed me your real hair... suddenly it all made more sense."
Fuzō tilted her gaze up and towards the sky now, letting her tears run down her chin.
"What a twist of fate that us two, who share a bloodline, would meet each other this way. That we would both survive despite it all."
What? What?
Was that growing suspicion true after all?
Kana's gaze grew intense behind her mask. That familiarity, Fuzō's appearance and the feeling of her chakra was the reason Kana had felt so drawn to her in the very beginning. All of Kana suspicions... could it really be true? What were the odds?
"The bloodline...?" Kana whispered, both intrigued and determined.
"Yes," Fuzō nodded knowingly, "My parents didn't tell me much but... it was always said that our family had rather distinctive chakra. People with the crimson hair always did feel a bit familiar. Part of that always made me so frustrated, as they never told me why or much else. Just because I-"
A sad grimace warped her lips and she scoffed slowly, "Well, I guess it doesn't matter anymore. If anything I understand their point now. Sorry, anyway. I know it's obvious in retrospect, but your disguise really confused me, hah. I thought my injuries had rattled my senses more than I guessed, but no... I was right, hmm?"
A satisfied sort of nod and smile seemed to cheer Fuzō somewhat, but Kana wanted hear more. What was this about Fuzō's family?
"Your family. You said they have no surname, right? And they emigrated to the Land of Hotsprings? I... meant it when I said I hadn't seen anyone else with hair colored like ours. What is the truth, really?" Kana's voice was eager, firm and inquisitive.
"Ahhh, Kana-chan, I fear you will be disappointed by my lack of knowledge." Fuzō muttered ruefully, "My parents...this was always a point of contention between us. I know little of the truth behind my family or my own origins, save that it is... complicated."
She sighed again, this time somewhat displeased, "I lived here for as long as I can remember. Occasionally we received strange or wounded visitors, but for a large portion of the day-to-day, I knew not what went on here.
A large and relatively empty villa, peaceful and well defended, owned by a red-haired family who ostensibly claimed no identity, no affiliation, and no clan. I knew there were secrets, and it only got more confusing. As I grew older, I grew so frustrated with the secrecy that it eventually led me to seek a life elsewhere, but...well, you know where that... led.
In truth, I have no way to verify anything much past what I've already told you about this place or what my parents told me when I left. In fact, I wonder just how much has changed. It has been long since I was forced to think of this place."
Fuzō raised her right hand to her cheek now and drummed her fingers against the side of her head, sliding a strand of her own red hair between her fingers,
"This is what I meant when I said I had to go about it this way. Even with all the similarities, I couldn't be certain I wasn't imagining it. I had nothing else to go on. And you never took the chances I gave to reveal anything else, so I... I had to pretend until I knew for sure, or else I feared I would just end up hurting you with a false hope. Even if my acting concerned you as well, I still believe this was the lesser of two evils....
But apparently, it's not my imagination. We both passed through the barrier. One of the only ways I knew would verify it for certain, beyond any doubt. I must confess it was honestly one of the reasons I thought to come here with you."
A brief pause let that sink in for Kana, who decided to accept the woman's reasoning. Kana didn't get flustered or angry, she just listened and thought it out on her own. The choice was fair. Even if she didn't know what Fuzō had been thinking, even if she wanted to know, even if it made her uncomfortable... this much was forgivable. Kana had done much the same thing with her disguise after all. How could she criticize Fuzō for acting with Kana's own feelings at heart?
"I understand. Something like this... despite your act, if it turned out wrong I would've felt worse. You just wanted to test it discreetly by passing through the barrier." The mental picture of Fuzō's actions came together in Kana's mind, and her lingering paranoia waned.
Drawing another deep breath, Fuzō let out a relieved sigh. "Thank you for that. I didn't really know how you'd react to this, but even after all I've seen... to handle it this maturely. And I felt so bad... could just tell how worried you were, under that-" As she was starting to ramble, Fuzō cut herself off, shaking her head.
She then looked right at Kana again and spoke firmly,
"Despite my unease, despite my confusion, it must be true. That's how this barrier works, this I know. One way or another, you are related to my family here too. A family whose members are always welcome to pass through the gate.
That being the case... before anything I think you deserve to ask my parents yourself. I suspect the answers will be quite revealing. I quite look forward to hearing it myself. I think it'd be best if we thought about the rest after that."
Kana stood with rising exhilaration and clasped her hands behind her back, tensing them as she fought to keep herself calm and still. Fuzō watched in silence, but traced the girl with her eyes.
This was it, a lead into her past which she had put in so much effort to develop. Kana felt that her desire to know was overwhelming, the thousands of questions she threw around in her mind fruitlessly until now finally having a chance to ease her anxieties. Her long-held patience was reaching its limits.
Though she had learned a lot during her time with the Yuka, it had all been turning sour near the end. The possibility of more cultists being out there agonized on her mind, the attack on their wagon and Ryuu's dying form still clear in her memory.
Many times she worried over Fuzō's situation. Many times she feared she'd revealed herself, feared her secrets would be discovered. But worst of all was enduring her curiosity.
Her relation with Fuzō, now clearly real, offered possible insight into everything else. Her kekkei genkai, her heritage, her hairclasp heirloom, the cultists, what had happened to her, her identity? Everything.
Kana had not forgotten. Kana would never allow herself to forget what was important to her. Kana doubted whether she could ever truly find safety or happiness if she did not first have answers.
Kana's thirst for that information had to be deeply controlled and occasionally suppressed just to make it to this point. It was her motive, her primary reason for ending up here in the Land of Hotsprings. Fuzō represented that much of an opportunity.
Would that investment finally be rewarded? Behind her mask, Kana's lips curled back to reveal her clenched teeth. The anticipation had her chakra pulsing powerfully within, echoing Kana's steady heartbeat.
Releasing a hiss of breath from between her teeth, Kana was about to speak when Fuzō winced and looked up towards the path.
"Ah, it seems they've sent a welcoming party. Kana-chan, if- ack! If you would...?"
Before having the time to fully process this, Kana had already placed a hand on the woman's shoulder to channel her soothing chakra. She didn't like to see Fuzō suffer, so the woman's gasps of pain had caused her to move subconsciously. Still, now she had to ask:
"A welcoming party?"
Fuzō's eyebrows quirked for a second and she gave a little smirk, "Well, most of the people who come here arrive in a .... less than healthy state. They're used to people needing an escort. Plus with all the tertiary barriers, I question whether we would even be able to find our way to the top villa on our own, hah!"
T-tertiary? What about secondary? Wait, wha-?
Kana's mind wheeled at this new tangent, and Fuzō's somewhat rueful chuckles continued until a shout called out from further up the path.
