53. Not Bad News
"Hi Kaylee," I smiled as I greeted my girlfriend.
She responded with a hug, then motioned "Come on in. We have the house to ourselves this evening, so we don't have to hide up in my bedroom."
As I slipped off my sandals I asked, "How come? Folks away or something?"
"Dad's at work, his shift doesn't end till midnight. And mom's out seeing friends, she'll probably be home around ten?" Kaylee responded.
We went into the kitchen and got drinks, then the two of us got comfortable on the sofa in the living-room. She already had some music streaming on her parents' entertainment system, louder than her folks would have liked. She was listening to some pop and dance channel, so the songs were mostly upbeat and lively.
"It's nice to have you to myself again Cass, without any demons around," she said after taking a sip of her cola.
I teased, "I'm here. So there's definitely a demon around."
Kaylee sighed, "I meant Ninaya."
"You seem a little obsessed with my sister," I teased again. "But no, this is just you and me time. Anyways she had to go back to where she was staying before? Somewhere in eastern Europe, I wasn't paying attention when she said what it was called. Actually I'm not even sure if it was a city or a country name, whatever she said."
That put a hopeful smile on my girlfriend's face. She asked, "She's gone back where she came from? Did your parents finally kick her out? Is it because of whatever your mom found out yesterday, from that fae guy in the city?"
I made her wait while I had a deep sip of my soda, then shook my head. "Nah, she's not moving out. She's moving in. She just went back to her old place to get the last of her stuff."
That earned me a frown, but instead of complaining about Nina she changed the subject slightly.
"So what about the fae guy?" she asked. "What did your parents learn from him? There has to be some news, right? Stuff Ninaya didn't want to say yesterday at Melanie's place?"
I had another gulp of my drink then shrugged, "Yeah there's news. We had a big family meeting about it this morning. Mom even made pancakes and bacon first, so we all had a good breakfast to soften us up before we got to the 'difficult' conversation."
I did the air-quotes around 'difficult' because I really didn't think it was a big deal. My parents did though, and even Nina was kind of anxious about the whole thing. As far as I was concerned though, it really didn't change anything.
Kaylee frowned, "So it's bad news, like I figured. That's why it was a difficult conversation? What's wrong, what did they say?"
I rolled my eyes and finished the last of my drink, then sat back and started to describe what my parents told me after breakfast.
"Some of this stuff isn't news," I said up front. "But the fae guy confirmed stuff we already kind of knew or suspected? Anyways, so physically, my body is mostly demonic now, thanks to the influence from Nina when I was a baby. All that was hidden though, before? Like everything was hidden inside that human shell I had up until the club meeting last halloween. When I crossed the circle and the magic shorted-out into me, that cracked the human shell and let my real self out."
I continued, "And like I said, my real body's mostly demonic? And that's what Nina's influence did, her essence affected my physical body. Which is why I look like her. I could probably even do the horns if I put some thought into it? Not that I want to. Not yet anyways."
Kaylee frowned at that last part while I smirked.
Then I moved on, "So that's the first thing? Nina's influence was physical, and now my body is mostly demonic. Socha's influence was 'everything else'. Basically mind and soul stuff. And that's a lot harder to pin down. Basically they can't be sure if the influence is active, if it's affecting me right now, or if it's something subtle that's been going on for my whole life? Though according to the fae guy it's probably the subtle thing. Like my whole life I've had this piece of Socha physically next to my heart, but quietly affecting my mind and soul."
My girlfriend looked upset and anxious about that, but I just shrugged.
"I don't feel any different," I pointed out. "I doubt it's doing anything now that it wasn't doing before. I think most of the stuff that changed for me is because of figuring out I'm trans, that I'm a girl? And all that happened last autumn. Nothing big happened back at new years when I broke the first circle, and nothing changed when May broke the second circle. I'm still me."
Then I wrapped up that part with the last bit, "Anyways so my body was basically designed to be a demonic vessel for a divine mind and soul. Body from Nina, mind and soul from Socha. A demon-goddess hybrid that can't exist naturally, but was created artificially. Sort of a Frankenstein's monster I guess?"
"That's not funny," Kaylee muttered quietly. "I wish you'd take this more seriously Cass."
I rolled my eyes again, but the next thing I had to tell her was the 'serious' part. "So the bad news part is the fae guy says having that piece of Socha connected to my mind and soul all my life means it could hurt me or kill me if we remove it. Even though that was the option my parents were hoping for, it sounds like it's too risky to try it."
She shook her head, "But isn't that the thing that might kill you if it stays? At the club meeting last month you said that piece of her is what would draw her to you if the last circle was broken. So you can't leave it there Cass!"
"Either way it could kill me," I replied with another shrug. "Leaving it there just means I have to keep avoiding human, fae, and holy magic."
She looked more upset and worried for me as she asked, "So what are we going to do? How do we fix things so you can use magic again, and so you aren't in any more danger?"
I frowned, "The 'plan B' that my parents were talking about was to re-do the two runic circles that got broken? That would sort of reset me back to the way I was last autumn."
"It wouldn't turn me back into a human boy," I quickly pointed out. "Thank all the gods and demons for that. But it would probably erase all the magic progress I learned afterwards? I'd be back to completely erratic spells, either totally overpowered or weak and useless. Like I was in November and December."
Before she could respond I added, "Except I'd have to keep avoiding magic after that anyways. Otherwise the rune circles could eventually break and we'd be right back in the same situation we are now. Replacing the runes would just be adding some extra layers of temporary protection, without fixing the actual problem."
Kaylee's shoulders slumped and she let out a sad sigh. "So that's it? No matter what, you won't be able to do magic. And you probably shouldn't be around for Club Luna stuff, since there'll be magic and it's risky for you to be exposed to that."
"No human, fae, or holy magic," I pointed out. "Demonic magic's safe, remember? Anyways I'm not going to let my parents re-do those runes. I already told them that this morning."
She frowned, "What? Why not?"
I explained, "For one thing they were part of a larger ritual that was meant to be performed on a human. They weren't meant to be done on their own, and I'm not human anymore so it wouldn't work the same on me now as it did when I was a baby? And from what they've said, the process of adding the runes would be slow and painful. And they couldn't use their magic to dull the pain because i can't be exposed to their magic at all."
"Cass you can't just leave it like this!" she insisted. "You said yourself, you got exposed to magic yesterday because some angel happened to put a spell over your house! If any magic could accidentally kill you at any time..."
She shook her head and sighed, "There has to be another option."
"I'll be fine Kaylee," I replied calmly. "And I told my folks this morning we need to find another way. Like I'm not doing the thing with the runes, that would suck."
"We should just pull that thing out of you. Get it out once and for all, so it's not a threat anymore," she grumbled.
"Except that might kill me, remember?" I pointed out. "Or it could hurt me some other way? We just don't know. It's been there all my life, for all we know it's what keeps my heart beating or something."
Kaylee sighed, then leaned closer so she could pull me into a side-hug. "I wish there was something else we could do Cass. I want things to go back to the way they were before? Like back in April or May. It felt like things were going really well then. Your magic was improving, we were happy, we didn't have to worry about demons and evil goddesses, and we didn't have to worry about you dying."
"It wasn't that great," I pointed out, even though I did hug her back. "My magic stalled remember? I wasn't getting any better, and I was upset because I didn't have a specialty the way the rest of you do? Except now we know the reason for that. I'm not a witch and I never was. The only reason I could use May Hawthorne's spells at all's probably because of Socha's influence? May said Socha was really talented at all kinds of magic. And Socha's her daughter, so maybe that helped too."
We were both quiet for a few minutes after that, as we continued cuddling together on the sofa. It felt nice, both the silence and the cuddling. It was nice not to be arguing or having her badmouthing my little sister, or nagging me about not being able to do magic.
Eventually it ended, as Kaylee pointed out "Doesn't that mean you and May are sort of related? She's Socha's mother, and you're sort of -"
"No!" I stated forcefully. "I'm not related to her. Not to May Hawthorne, and not to Socha. If you're going to try and claim I am, then you also have to accept that I'm just as related to Nina, that she's my sister."
My girlfriend frowned, but she was quiet again for another minute or two. Then she finally asked, "So if Ninaya isn't moving out, what's she doing? And you said something yesterday about adoption? What's really going on with her Cass?"
Suddenly I was fighting to suppress a smile as I replied, "It was supposed to be a surprise, but I guess I've already kind of spoiled it. She's part of our family now. Her legal name is Nina Underwood. She's moving in with us permanently, and I'm pretty sure she's going to be starting school with us in September."
"Or not with us as in you and me," I added. "Like I think she'll go into grade eleven, with Marissa and Melanie. But my folks have invited her into the family, they've adopted her. Even if you don't want to believe she's my biological half-sister, she's now my legal sister."
Kaylee was silent again, and for the next couple minutes she just stared at me. Her expression was a mix of shock and disbelief, maybe with a hint of anger or upset. Like she was probably hoping it was all another bad joke or something. And it was kind of funny, I thought. I'd already stopped caring that she didn't like my little sister, now it was just a convenient way to tease her.
Except I wasn't teasing or joking this time, Nina really was part of my family now. My mom and mum and I all liked her, and my parents felt sorry for the small demon for having such a rough life and not having any family of her own. And unlike my girlfriend, my folks acknowledged that Nina and I really were related. Maybe not sisters, but we shared whatever was the demonic equivalent of blood or DNA.
Eventually Kaylee found her voice again. She asked with a frown, "How are you going to explain that to people? That you suddenly have a teenage...sister, who just appeared mysteriously over the summer?"
"Easy," I replied with another shrug. "I'm adopted, that's never been a secret. Our story is we only just found out that I have a biological sister, and my parents found her and adopted her too. So my sister and I were reunited after a lifetime apart."
She sighed, "You're serious? Your parents really adopted a demon?"
I smiled, "My parents really adopted a second demon. They already had me. And considering Nina and I really are like sisters, it only made sense to keep us together."
"Cass I..." her voice trailed off for a few moments. Then she sighed again, and pulled me into another hug.
As we held each other she said quietly, "I don't understand you. After everything she did to you, all the stuff she told us back in June? After all that, you act like it's nothing. You and all the others act like she's a friend, you don't care about what she is or what she did to you. And you act like you don't care that you could die the next time you encounter magic. Why doesn't any of this bother you?"
I held her close as we cuddled. And I replied softly, "It's part of forgiveness Kaylee. I forgave her for what she did when I was little. I understand why she did it, and I don't hold it against her. I don't hate her for what she is either. Nobody chooses how they're born or what they are."
"As for the other stuff," I shrugged slightly. "Like I keep saying, worrying about it won't make things better. It's just extra stress. If anything, knowing I could die next time someone zaps me with magic is making me enjoy life even more now? Like isn't there some saying about that? Live each day like it could be your last, or something? I'm not trying to get killed, I don't want to die. And I really don't want to unleash some chaos goddess on you or my friends or the world. But I'm not going to be scared of that, and I'm not going to let that control my life."
After another pause I stated, "So I'm going to love my angel parents and my demon sister, and I'm going to keep going on dates with my witch girlfriend. I'm going to keep hanging out with my other witch friends and my werewolf friend too. So what do you want to do for dinner, girlfriend? Order in, or go out on a date?"
Kaylee hugged me a little tighter, but she smiled. "Let's go out and get dinner. Then we can come back here again. I hardly ever get the house to myself like this, so I want to take advantage of it."
"Perfect," I smiled back at her.