ALL NOVEL Interlude 14 – Wants & Needs
=::= Melanie's PoV =::=
"So how'd it go?" I asked as I glanced over at my girlfriend. "Mr. Jacobs didn't give you a hard time did he?"
Cerys shook her head, "Nah. It was fine I guess? I'll get used to it anyways. This is the sort of thing I wanted for the past year."
I grimaced, "I can't really imagine anyone wanting a minimum wage job at a grocery store, but I get what you're saying."
She shrugged, "Anyways I definitely need the money. I'm still replacing stuff my dad trashed, and I should help out around your place too. Once I get my first pay maybe I can give some to your dad for rent or whatever."
"Maybe," I sighed. "Let's not mention that to my dad until we're sure how things are going to turn out. Like you said, you still need more clothes and stuff for school. We need to make sure that's all taken care of first."
"Ok," she mumbled as the two of us continued walking home.
It was about quarter after ten Saturday night, and Cerys just finished her second shift at the grocery store. I managed to get her a job there, but she wasn't on cash with me. Our manager put her on the produce section, so she had to keep the fruits and vegetables stocked and make sure they all looked good and all that stuff.
Unfortunately school was going to start before she got her first pay. This was the September long weekend, so we'd all be back at our new classes on Tuesday. Both Cerys and I had a couple more shifts over the next few days, then we'd be on reduced hours because of school.
The two of us were mostly quiet the rest of the way home, then we headed down into the basement. As usual I let my ears and tail out as soon as we were inside. I was still a bit embarrassed about how much I preferred my wolfgirl form over being human, but none of my friends gave me a hard time about that. It was only my dad who got uptight about that sort of thing.
Then instead of getting ready for bed I asked Cerys, "Want to play some games or something before we crash?"
"Sure," she replied.
I grabbed us a couple cans of cola then we both got comfortable on the sofa and fired up the console. We'd been playing a head-to-head fighting game lately, and soon we were trading blows on the screen. The first couple rounds were close, but it wasn't long before my girlfriend started slipping up and making mistakes. Or she'd sort of freeze up and stop playing for a bit, which would leave her wide open to attack.
After I easily won the next two rounds I paused the game and offered, "If you're getting tired we can just call it a night."
Cerys sighed, "I'm not tired Melanie. Just a bit dizzy and my head hurts again. Mostly it's uh..."
Her voice trailed off and she got a sad, distant look on her face. That had been happening a lot lately. I knew she was still going through a ton of stuff, like after everything that happened to her last month it was amazing sometimes how good she seemed to be doing.
I put my controller aside and moved closer, then slipped an arm around her and pulled her into a hug.
"It'll be ok," I whispered. "I promise. You're safe here. I'll look out for you, my dad's not going to kick you out or anything. I know stuff's been crap lately Cerys, but it's going to get better. I know it will."
She hugged me back, and let her head rest on my shoulder. She didn't respond right away, and the two of us ended up just holding each other quietly for the next few minutes. Except I could feel how tense she was, all the muscles in her shoulders and neck and back were tight. I could understand why, after I got turned and my family kind of fell apart I was pretty stressed out for a long time too.
It didn't help that me and dad had to move halfway across the country. And even though my folks said mom would eventually come out here and join us, I knew that wasn't really going to happen. I might have believed it at first, but it was over a year now and we barely ever heard from her. The only thing left was for one of them to file for divorce.
I tried to push those thoughts away though, since this wasn't about me. I was trying to help my girlfriend, and her pain was a lot more recent. So I held her a little tighter, then asked softly "Is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all?"
She was quiet for another half minute or so, before finally nodding. She whispered, "Yeah. There's something you could do for me Melanie. I don't think you'll want to do it though."
"I'm here for you," I whispered back. "I'll do whatever I can to help Cerys, just ask."
My girlfriend took a couple deep breaths, then in a quiet stressful voice she stated "I want you to turn me. Wolf out and bite me. Make me a werewolf like you."
I felt my stomach lurch as my breath caught in my throat. It took me a few seconds just to process what she was asking. Then I shook my head as I sighed, "You know I can't do that. I swore I'd never put anyone through that. After what happened to me... I just can't. I'm sorry."
"You said you'd do anything for me," she responded, in a voice that sounded like she was fighting back tears. "Please Melanie? I want this. I know what it means, I know what it'll do to me, what it's like."
I shook my head again, "No you don't. You met me after I'd been a wolf for eight or nine months, and I was still going out and slaughtering sheep because I couldn't control the animal in me. It was even worse at the beginning. There's a reason me and dad had to leave town, you know? We didn't move a few thousand kilometres away from home just for fun."
She pulled away from our hug and wiped her eyes as she retorted, "I know! You've told me the stories Melanie. I don't care, I want this. I need this! So please? You said you'd do whatever you could to help me. This is how you can help me."
"How would this help you?" I asked with a frown. "How's permanently losing part of your humanity going to make anything better?"
Cerys slumped back on the sofa and wiped away some more tears as they streamed down her cheeks, then whispered "It'll make me stronger. Like you. If I was tough and strong like you, then none of that stuff ever would have happened. I wouldn't have to be scared of my dad. He wouldn't have been able to hurt me. And I could have protected my mom better too."
I sighed and rubbed my forehead as I sat back as well. I should have guessed it was something like that.
She knew lots of spells and stuff, but without magic she was just a short soft teen girl. She wasn't athletic like Paige or Brooke, and she didn't have much in the way of physical strength. And I knew next to me she probably felt weak and helpless. I didn't show off or flaunt it too much, but being a werewolf gave me supernatural strength and speed. Plus I knew how to fight, since I'd been in more than my share of them growing up.
"The next full moon is just over two weeks away," Cerys added quietly. "It's in the evening too. If you bite me tonight that gives me time to prepare and get ready for it."
I shook my head again, "No. It's a Monday night, and it peaks at like half past seven or something? You'll probably be messed up all day at school, then you'll miss the next day or two after. Me too, because I'd have to take care of you. Then we'd both have to miss a few days of work. Not just this month but probably for the next year. And anyways I already said I can't do that. I'm sorry Cerys. I swore I'd never turn anyone."
After wiping away more tears she pleaded, "Please Melanie? I'm begging you. Do this for me. I need it. It's not like what happened to you, ok? I'm asking for it, I want it. It's not a surprise, I know what I'm getting into. And you've learned all this stuff, you can teach me. And it'll bring us together! We'll be even closer, like family..."
"Cerys you don't know what you're saying," I tried to explain, "You don't know how bad it was at first. It'll change you, and I don't just mean at the full moons. The very first time, after you've spent a night as an animal... When you shift back you probably won't be the same as you are now. I told you all, after my first shift I got my instant transition? I'm not saying you'll turn into a guy but odds are you'll be different. My wolf tutor said the same thing, even her kids who were born werewolfs changed. The first shift is like... Everything changes."
She fought back more tears as she asked, "But you wouldn't undo it for yourself right? You're happy being who you are? You're strong and brave and confident and..."
I shook my head, "The first few months I absolutely would have. I'd have gone back to my AMAB body if it meant not being a werewolf anymore. If this never happened to me, I could have transitioned normally. My parents would probably still be together. I'd have a normal boring life as a normal trans girl."
With another sigh I added, "Cerys my life didn't get better until I met you and Cass and the rest of the club. Y'all basically saved me. Even now, you and the others are the best thing in my life. My mom's all but abandoned me, my dad hardly ever talks to me, I don't fit in anywhere. If not for you and the club I'd have nothing."
"I'm sorry Melanie," she mumbled as more tears started to flow. After a sniff she added, "I still want you to turn me though. You can save me too. Then you won't ever be alone like that again? Like I said, we'll be more like family."
I rubbed my head as I tried to think my way through the situation. I kind of understood what she was saying, why she wanted me to turn her. But I couldn't let go of how bad things got for me in those first few months. And maybe it was selfish or something, but I also couldn't ignore what everyone else might think of me if I did it.
Like I knew my dad would absolutely blow a gasket. He might even kick both me and Cerys out. He was just barely coping with knowing I was a werewolf, and more than once I got the impression the only thing that kept him from abandoning me the way mom did was the fact that it wasn't my choice. Knowing it was my uncle's screw-up and I was the victim seemed to be the only thing stopping dad from giving up on me completely. If I went and turned my girlfriend that'd probably be the last straw with dad, and I'd lose the last family I had left.
Then there was the rest of Club Luna. Even if Cerys told them all she wanted it and it was all her idea, I could imagine some of them might still be mad at me.
Even without those concerns though, the bottom line was I really didn't want to do it. And I wasn't convinced Cerys really wanted it either. She was still recovering from what happened with her dad, I was positive she was dealing with depression or anxiety or something. And I was sure that she'd regret it, once she got over all that other stuff.
"Melanie?" my girlfriend asked quietly. "What are you thinking? Will you help me? Or not?"
I sighed again, then shook my head. "No Cerys. I won't turn you. Not now anyways."
"Look," I continued in a soft gentle tone, "It's only been half a month since all that stuff happened with your dad. You're still recovering. Like you said, the next full moon's only about two weeks away. Let's wait till after that? Wait until a month's passed, and you've got checked out by the doctors and we know you're ok? Then once you've fully recovered, we can talk about this again."
I added quickly, "I'm not agreeing to anything, just saying we can talk about it again once you've finished recovering. Ok?"
Her shoulders slumped and she looked down at the floor. She replied in a dull flat voice, "Fine. I'm not going to change my mind though. I'm going to keep asking about this."
"I'm sorry Cerys," I responded quietly. "I just don't want to rush into something we'll both regret later."
She just nodded slowly as she kept staring at the floor. After a few moments she said in that same dull flat tone, "I'm tired. I think I'm going to get some sleep."
"Ok," I replied as I suppressed a sigh.
We were both quiet after that, we took turns going upstairs to use the washroom and stuff. She got her pillow and blankets then got herself comfortable on my old sofa while I lay down on my bed in the opposite corner.
"Good night Cerys," I said as I turned out the lights.
She mumbled back, "G'night Melanie."
