Cop Craft – Dragnet Mirage Reloaded

“Kei Matoba.”

“Keh Imatooba?”

For some reason, the girl knit her eyebrows.

“My name is Kei Matoba. San Teresa Police Department. Sergeant and Detective of the Special Vice Squad.”

“That’s your full name? Kei Matoba San Teresa Bolice Debartment Sergeant And Detective Sbecial Vice Squad?”

The “p” sound did not exist in the Farbanian language. Whenever Semanians came over to this world, they would always pronounce “police” as “bolice.”

“No. My full name is Kei Matoba.”

“That’s so short,” the Semanian girl said, glaring at him with an expression of clear disdain.

“Is there anything wrong with that?”

“Not at all. It’s only natural that a lowly plebeian would have such a short name. I don’t mind. I usually just go by ‘Tilarna Exedilika,’ anyway.”

The girl rattled her sword. A sharp metallic sound rang out as the thin blade was slid back into its sheath in the blink of an eye. For a girl with such a small body and thin arms, her level of swordsmanship was unbelievable.

“You are the first person that I have talked to in this land of the Dorini. I shall therefore grant you the privilege of calling me by the title of ‘Bona Tilarna.’ You should feel honored.”

“Bona” was an honorific that roughly correlated to the word ‘Miss’ in English.

“Now, you shall carry my luggage somewhere safe from the sea breeze, Keh Imatooba.”

“It’s ‘Kei Matoba.’”

“I don’t care about your name. Hurry up and carry it.”

Saying this, the Semanian noble—Tilarna [omitted] Exedilika—promptly walked into the boat cabin, not even bothering to look back.

Matoba sat miserably on the ride back to San Teresa, trying his absolute hardest to suppress the boiling anger that rose up inside of him.

He thought he had signed up to become a detective.

Never had he imagined that he would have to participate in this joke of a diplomatic welcome. He was pretty much a babysitter at this point.

No matter how he looked at her, that Tilarna girl looked no older than a middle schooler. However, Semanians did tend to look a lot younger than they actually were. Even a 45 year old Semanian could easily pass as a 30 year old Earthling. Moreover, because years in the Semanian world were shorter than years on Earth, the 45 year old Semanian would only be around 36 years old in Earth years. It was annoyingly confusing to keep track of. To make things even more complicated, due to an agreement between the Earthlings and the Semani, they were required to treat Semanians in accordance with their “Semanian age.”

On the documents that Tilarna had brought, it was written that she was 27 Semanian years old.

(In Earth years, that would be…)

Performing a rough calculation in his head, Matoba concluded that she would be around 20 years old. So she was at least an adult.

He took a quick glance at her face.

But still, she looked no more than 13 or 14 years old.

Why was he having to waste his time escorting this little girl? He was dying to get back to his work so that he could avenge Rick. He had no time to lose.

She was a beautiful girl, though. One could tell by the behavior of the boat’s crewmen, who were constantly sneaking into the room just to get a quick glance at her when they were off their shift.

Tilarna was indeed beautiful.

She was so beautiful that she seemed almost artificial, as if her entire being had been sculpted in some sort of CGI software. There were no blemishes or imperfections on the skin of her unreal-looking face. It felt suspicious to Matoba. If there was such a thing as “unlikable beauty,” she embodied it perfectly.

Tilarna lay sprawled out in a chair in the boat’s bridge.

Seemingly bored, she got up to stare curiously at the various electronic equipment—navigation systems, communication devices, radars and control panels—that lined the room’s interior. Every time she reached out to touch the many switches and dials, Matoba had to stop her.

“Don’t touch it,” he warned her for the fourth time.

“Why can’t I touch it?” Tilarna asked defiantly.

“That’s the reset switch for the boat’s navigation system.”

“Reset switch? What’s that?”

“It’ll reset the settings and delete all of the navigation data… To put it in simple terms, if you touch it, everything will go wrong.”

“I don’t quite understand.”

“It doesn’t matter, just don’t touch it.”

For some reason, Tilarna talked back at him in a commanding tone.

“Listen up, Keh Imatooba, or whatever your name is. I don’t intend to brag or anything, but I’ll have you know that I am of incredibly high status. There may be many things that a lowly peasant like you cannot touch, but there are very few things that I am not allowed to touch.”

“I’m not sure if I follow…”

“I’m saying that no matter what I touch, it will not be corrupted. Moreover, my guardian spirit is the Third Apostle of Gizennya. My fingertips may even have positive Rahtena flowing through them.”

“I don’t know anything about this Third whatever that you speak of, but I kind of understand what you mean, I guess.”

Not detecting the sarcasm in Matoba’s voice, Tirana broke out into a smirk.

“You’ve understood? Now, you shall not tell me what I can and cannot touch.”

As soon as she finished her sentence, she reached out to touch the navigation device once again.

“Don’t touch it.”

“Mu…”

“Don’t touch it. This has nothing to do with corruption or blessings or whatnot. Just don’t touch it.”

His tone was firm. After glaring angrily at Matoba for a few seconds, the girl, seeming to have given up entirely, shut her mouth and silently stared out the window.

Matoba was filled with guilt. He felt like he was bullying a little child.

(Wait, hold on a second…)

Even though she looked like a child, this alien wasn’t a child at all. One would think that she was a child by the way she played around curiously with the unfamiliar new contraptions on the boat, but in reality, she was a grown woman.

He had no reason to feel guilty. It didn’t matter if he was hated. They were gonna part ways in just a few hours, anyway.

All he had to do was get her in the car after they arrived at the harbor, drive through the city to headquarters, and take her up the elevator to the 14th floor. After that, he would never have to talk to her again.

But that was just what he thought would happen.

They got off the boat at the Coast Guard base. After wrapping up a quick paperwork check, Matoba loaded Tilarna’s luggage into his car. Still visibly upset over what happened in the boat, Tilarna did not offer any help, instead gazing off into the distance of the harbor, her eyes full of distrust.

“We’re gonna head out. Get in the car, please.”

Slamming the trunk door shut, Matoba nodded toward the passenger’s seat. Tilarna froze in front of the door, silently staring at the door handle.

“Let me guess, you don’t know how to open it?”

“…No.”

Matoba climbed into the driver's seat and turned on the engine. Tilarna stayed standing outside. Her eyes were now fixed on the car hood, which had begun vibrating.

Though vehicles were certainly an unfamiliar sight for the Semanians, who came from a civilization with little to no advanced technology, this shouldn’t have been the first time she’s seen a car. The handful of Earthlings that lived on the other side drove their cars on a daily basis. If an internal combustion engine was such an unusual sight for her, she would have been shocked from the very moment she stepped aboard the boat.

“Hurry up and get in. You know what a car is, don’t you?”

“Of… of course I do. Are you rakebye (stupid)?”

Tilarna sluggishly pulled open the door and stepped into the passenger seat.

However, as she tried to climb in, her sword was caught in the doorway. She lost her balance, collapsing into the driver’s seat, falling face-down onto Matoba’s stomach. 

“Nyuugh…”

The Semanian made a strange noise.

For a few seconds, Tilarna did not move, her face buried in his lap. Matoba had no idea what to do. He just sat there, unmoving, his hands still gripping the steering wheel.

“…Hey.”

Tilarna shot back up, straightening her posture as if nothing had happened. A faint blush rose in her pure white cheeks. Matoba didn’t say anything, deciding that it would be easier to just act as if nothing had happened.

She took off the belt that her sword was attached to and dragged it into the car. She closed the door.

“D-..don’t worry about it. Now go,” she said, immediately turning away to look out the window.

“The door’s still open.”

“Wha-… What?”

“It isn’t closed properly. Open the door and close it again, this time with more force.”

“Okay. I see.”

Tilarna did as she was instructed, closing the door once again.

“Let’s go.”

They took off in the Cooper S. They left the Coast Guard base and headed to the center of the city. Tilarna silently gazed out the window for the entire ride, not looking at Matoba even once.

Having barely spoken a word to each other, they arrived at the 15-story-tall police headquarter building. Matoba led Tilarna up to the chief’s office on the 14th floor.

The chief was waiting for them, with Roth at his side. 

“We have been looking forward to your visit, Miss Exedilika.”

The chief made dramatic movements with his arms as he welcomed Tilarna with excessively flattering words, telling her that he wished her stay would be one of great value. Meanwhile, Roth just said “welcome to San Teresa.”

They did not seem to be surprised about her young appearance. They must have already known what kind of Semanian was going to visit them.

“Good work, sergeant Matoba.”

“Well, I did as I was told and brought her here. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

Replying unenthusiastically to the chief’s praise, Matoba hurried to leave the office. He didn’t have any more time to waste getting kicked around by this weird Semanian girl. His mind had already returned to contemplating the possible whereabouts of Rick’s murderer.

Roth stopped him in his tracks.

“We aren’t done here.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s about her.”

“?”

Matoba furrowed his brow, his hand still on the doorknob.

“Are you talking about that young lady right there? If you need a tour guide, you should go ask the clerk over there. She’s completely fluent in English, anyway.”

“How dare you say such disrespectful things, Detective Matoba. She didn’t come here for a tour,” said the chief, raising his voice angrily. He turned back to Tilarna. “Sorry about that. He doesn’t fully understand the situation yet,” he told her in Farbarnian.

“Then what is she here for?”

“She’s looking for the fairy,” Roth said. “The fairy that was stolen last night. Turns out it wasn’t a normal fairy, after all.”

“She’s a Fiel. Fiel Queze Baderi,” Tilarna corrected. “In your English words, that means ‘The Great High Fairy.’ She belongs to the ‘Forest of Perpetual Night’ that lies in the western region of Farbarni. She is an important Fiel that belongs to a powerful clan.”

“Ahh… And that means?”

Though Matoba was somewhat proficient in Farbarnian, he couldn’t understand such complicated words. The majority of the Farbarnian he knew consisted of useful phrases such as “don’t move” or “you’re under arrest” or “I’m gonna kick your ass.”

The chief stepped in to explain.

“That fairy is part of an important clan in the Semani world. Seven days ago, she was kidnapped. All we know about the incident is that a smuggler took her across the gate. So, following the orders given to her by the Semanian knights, this Exedilika lady was sent here to find and protect the fairy… Understood?”

“Pretty much,” Tilarna nodded, puffing up her chest with pride. “Due to an agreement between the Farbarni Kingdom and the country of the United Nations, the Knights of Mirvor, their apprentices included, were granted permission to carry out their acts of justice in the Dorini world. In order to protect the Great High Fiel, I wish to have you all aid me in my search. I make this request in the name of the Farbarni King.”

“…There you have it.”

“I see… But why did you call me back into the room to hear this? How does this weird agreement thing have anything to do with me?”

“You’re going to work with her,” Roth said.

“What?”

“You’re going to search for the fairy with her.”

For a moment, Matoba stood dumbfounded. He was at a loss for words.

“Me? Work? With this alien?”

“That term is discriminatory, Matoba. Call her Miss Exedilika.”

But the chief’s words weren’t registering in his mind.

“Could you please just give me a break already? Not even a day has passed since my partner of four years was killed. There are plenty of other detectives for the job, so why do you keep singling me out to do the dirty work? Boss, do you not care about avenging Rick?”

As Matoba raised his voice to a yell, Roth walked straight up to him.

“Matoba. Try asking me that question again. And this time, look me in the eye.”

Roth’s voice trembled with fury. His eyes, normally cold and emotionless, were filled with a blazing glow. Of course he wanted to avenge Rick.

“Then why aren’t you letting me focus on my own work?”

“I never told you not to focus on your work.”

“Well how the hell am I supposed to do that with this on my plate?”

“That’ll be entirely up to you. In a case involving the Semani, there may be details that only a Semanian would understand. A resource like this will undoubtedly prove to be valuable down the road. It doesn’t matter whether or not you like her.”

There was still not a single Semanian that worked in the San Teresa Police Department. It had been this way ever since the police department was first established ten years ago, back when the city was freed from the occupation of the United Nations Command. It had been thought that the laws of Earth should be enforced by the Earthlings themselves, and this belief had persisted to this day.

“I see. So I’m the guinea pig now?”

“If that’s how you need to think about it to understand, then so be it. If you’ve got any problems, you can return that badge at any time, you know.”

“So it’s an order, huh. So could I reject it by telling you to fuck off right now?”

“I’d like to see you try. You better not think that I’m gonna give you any special treatment.”

For a while, they glared at each other silently.

The chief sat awkwardly on the sofa, rummaging through his pockets for a cigarette. The other bystander—Tilarna Exedilika—was staring at them with cold eyes. She cleared her throat loudly to get their attention.

“I don’t care if you Dorini want to argue,” Tilarna said. “But I feel like my own will is being completely disregarded here. In order to carry out my acts of justice, I am only willing to partner with the most skilled, distinguished bolicemen. I will only accept valourous, resourceful, experienced, well-mannered bolice warriors. However, I do not believe that this obnoxious, indecent peasant here fits any of these criteria.”

“Shut up, alien.”

“See, look at him! Could you please just let this impudent man leave already? The fact that you even thought to assign this disgusting barbarian as my escort is a massive insult to the entire Farbarnian race!”

“But Miss Exedelika…” The chief stammered. He glanced over at Roth for help.

Roth continued where the chief left off.

“Though he is certainly quite ill-mannered, Detective Matoba fits your other criteria perfectly. He’s one of the best officers we have, even within the entire San Teresa Police Department. He’s solved countless difficult cases and has even received medals for the many lives that he’s saved. He’s well-acquainted with the area and has tons of connections. He was also part of the Special Reconnaissance Unit, so he’s incredibly knowledgeable in the art of war.”

“This man?”

Tilarna stared intently at Matoba’s face, as if trying to examine him. Her eyes were filled with doubt.

“He doesn’t look like it at all. But even then, I value—”

Cutting her off, Matoba’s boss spoke.

“Then we’ll get you a man that has perfect manners and nothing else. However, I seriously doubt that it’ll help you find that precious ‘Fiel’ of yours.”

“……”

“Or do you still believe that good manners and respect are going to solve all of your problems? If we’re being honest, we’d like you to completely disregard whether or not you like him.”