ALL NOVEL Book 1: Chapter 5.2
Walking to the kitchen, he grabbed a can of beer from the fridge. He held his breath as he took off his mask, gulped down his drink, and adjusted it back to normal. Noticing Tilarna’s constant stare as she waited on his answer, he let out a sigh.
「It was about three months ago. A drug dealer we were pursuing rammed into this guy with his car.」
He continued talking, sorting out the letters he brought from his mailbox. Seeing the bill from management come in, he clicked his tongue.
「And then?」
「We caught the Hosh [1] soon enough after that, and the case was quickly solved. But, well, there was just one problem…… the one-legged cat on the verge of dying. One of my co-workers, Tony, brought him to the vet, saving his life. But as you can see, he’s disabled for good. A little guy like him wouldn’t be able to survive out there on the streets. And Tony’s sweetheart — well, he’s a dude though — he’s quite the cat-hater; they wouldn’t take him in. My old partner Rick also kept a pet bird so cats were a big no-no at his place. Likewise, everyone else was sorta on the fence about keeping him. Too much of a hassle, they said. So that’s how I ended up with him for the time being.」
「Even though you possess these cat allergies?」
「Wasn’t much of a choice. It’s my fault he got attached to me anyways. And we couldn’t find his old owners either… Hey, what’s the matter?」
Tilarna was looking down, shoulders trembling. Her face was not visible from Matoba’s position, but she appeared to be breathing heavily.
「Do you have cat allergies too now?」
「No… that’s not it…」
Saying that, she faced him once more. She was desperately trying to hold back her laughter.
On her face was neither the derision nor the scorn she had shown him up to that point. It was a genuine smile, containing no malice whatsoever. While it may be insignificant, he could not help but feel strange. Right now, she looked just like an ordinary girl — one you could find just about anywhere in the world.
「Is it that weird?」
「Forgive me, Khe. But…… no…… this is……」
Unable to suppress her giggles any longer, she chuckled only to burst into raucous laughter shortly afterward. Finished with his meal, Kuroi unsteadily tottered over to Tilarna’s side. Letting out a soft cry, he snuggled up against her body. Tilarna kneeled over to pet his head, kindly whispering in Farbanian as she did so.
「Kéya・Kuroi・Shii……」
If he was not mistaken, it roughly meant 「Good boy, Kuroi-chan」 in Farbanian. Even though this was their first time meeting each other, the difference in reception was staggering. Or so Matoba thought.
「Khe Imatuba. You are surprisingly good-natured for a Dorini.」
「That ain’t it. I’d have nightmares if I just left a stray out there to fend for themselves in the cold. Feels like shit if you can’t get some good night’s sleep. In the end, I did all that for my sake. All for my own self-satisfaction.」
「Does that not mean that I am the same as the little one?」
「If you don’t like it here, go back to the park. I won’t stop you.」
「No. I shall be in your debt. I have taken a liking to this.」
「My room?」
「No, this Khe. Not you [2] , mind.」
Laughing, she took off her coat and hung it on one of the dining chairs. Matoba grabbed two blankets from his bedroom, and set them on top of the sofa in the living room.
「I’m going to bed. You go sleep on the sofa. Toilet’s on the other side. Use it if you need to. Take anything from the fridge if you want. Don’t drink the tap water. And don’t use the stove. OK?」
「I am to sleep on this small, cramped bench?」
「Ain’t it big enough for you? Don’t you dare complain.」
「Making a lady sleep on this bench, while you sleep on your bed? Unthinkable!」
「I told you already. I’ve got my allergies to deal with. I’m dead if I sleep with the cat. My bedroom is sacred ground. Strays aren’t allowed in. That’s it for my explanation.」
After telling her to never ever intrude on his sanctuary, Matoba was just about to shut the door when Tilarna called out to him.
「Kei Matoba.」
「What?」
This was the first time she properly said his name. He was shocked.
「I admit I have been ungrateful for your assistance. Daash Zanna [3] .」
「…….. You’re welcome.」
「However, do not get the wrong idea. If you try to do anything whilst I sleep, I will cut you down on the spot. I am serious.」
「That’s stupid. I wouldn’t lay my hands on a child.」
「A-a child, you say!? I’ll have you know that I am already 27 years of age!」
「In Semanese years, right? Nevé Shiiya [4] .」
The door closed with a thud. Recently, it had become a daily routine for him to clean the area around his bedroom door before he slept. He heard Tilarna’s voice coming from the living room as he made his rounds. Kuroi let out a satisfied purr. She was probably spoiling him right now.
(This isn’t good, no matter how I think about it…)
He felt like he was going crazy.
It would have been fine if that alien girl had just stayed her usual, infuriating self. Alas, that was not to be. That smile. That attitude. Realizing that he could not bring himself to hate Tilarna, Matoba was baffled.
He could hear humming. And the rustling of clothes. She was probably changing.
Incidentally, he wondered what kind of underwear a Semanese noble like her would wear. There was little going for her in the chest department, but surely she still wore a bra? In the first place, did the Semanese even have bras?
(HEY, HEY, HEY! WHAT THE FUCK IS MY IMAGINATION DOING RUNNING WILD?)
Indeed, she was quite the looker. In terms of age, they were only about ten years apart. But even so, she still looked younger than a middle schooler. A lolicon would be panting their asses off by now. Unfortunately, he was not one of them. In fact, his type was your typical reserved Yamato Nadeshiko [5] , certainly not a blade-toting alien girl. She was someone who would calmly bathe in the blood of her fallen prey. Even if a hundred years passed by, he would never be interested in a girl like her.
OK. That does it for the horniness.
I am normal.
Better go to sleep now.
Emptying his beer can, Matoba hung his suit on the wall.
He was a bit curious about something, so he brushed off the dust on his bookshelf and took out his Farbanian dictionary. It was about the 「Khe Imatuba」 nickname she had given him. He understood enough that 「Khe」 referred to a cat-like creature over on the other side. In terms of pronunciation, it was pretty close to his own name as well. But what about 「Imatuba」? It seemed oddly familiar. What did it mean, exactly?
「Imatuba…… Imatuba……」
There it is. An expression of dread. In other words, Khe Imatuba meant 「Dreadful Kitten」 in her language. Every time she called his name, she was probably laughing on the inside.
「That fucking alien.」
Little bitch.
As he clicked his tongue in irritation, he crawled into bed.
~~~~~~~~
A sleepy night fell on the construction site ⸺ three cars stopped overhead on top of the half-finished freeway. It was far, far away from the heart of the city. The surroundings were pitch-black. A cursory glance at the highway below revealed close to no traffic; they were practically alone. Only their headlights shone brightly in the darkness.
Everything in this place suggested that just about anywhere else would serve as a more appropriate location for their meeting tonight. Thought the Palestinian, Abu Kalim, as he restlessly shifted the collar on his neck.
Kalim was a member of a Palestinian paramilitary group. Having conducted various acts of terrorism in the Middle East, they were currently on the run from the Israeli authorities. His face sported deep recesses and a thick mustache. After three rounds of plastic surgery, he could not be seen as anything more than a helpless middle-aged Caucasian man. His voice and fingerprints had been altered as well.
There were the eight men from the Semanese he had set out to meet. The leader-like man among them sat atop a black Mercedes-Benz, waving his hand at Kalim who was turning his car around.
「Right on time, Mr. Kalim.」
The Semanese man, Elbajhi, cheerfully welcomed him. With his translucent-white skin, his clean-cut features, and his large pupils, he was your typical Semanese all right. Most Farbanians had unique physical features that made them especially easy to spot. But his clothes were peculiar, to say the least. He was wearing a CD sweatshirt [6] under an overly-baggy windbreaker. Furthermore, with his shiny sneakers and the gaudy necklace hanging over his neck, he looked as if he came from back in the eighties. Just ten years ago, this appearance would have most definitely elicited ridicule and suspicion from passersby. But just recently, this form of old-fashioned clothing was coming back in style.
Kalim lightly nodded his head in acknowledgment, gently retrieving the silver briefcase in the trunk before walking over to the Semanese.
「Here’s the advance payment, as promised.」
Kalim opened the case. Taking a single glance at the banknotes within, Elbajhi ordered one of his subordinates to 「Go count the money!」. Carrying the briefcase in his hands, the underling scurried to the back of the Mercedes.
「OK, Mr. Kalim. D’ya mind converting the rest of the cash into the 「Goods」?」
「Got it. Still, I’m surprised you Semanese chose to go through with that sort of blasphemy. Aren’t you afraid of receiving divine punishment?」
「Course’ we are, bro.」
Said Elbajhi with a complacent smile.
「The wrath of the great Dragon God. Gives me the shivers. Crackle, crackle, BANG! A giant fireball falling from the skies. A kick to the balls, to be sure. …….And? So what if those geezers with no balls keel over and die!?」
Clutching his own throat with both hands, Elbajhi mimicked a person on the verge of suffocating to death. An exceedingly droll gesture. His men were all roaring with laughter at the sight.
The Semanese Elbajhi had completely adapted to this world’s culture of consumption, in particular the United States’ brand of capitalism. Kalim could not help but feel disgusted. Speaking with him, he felt as if he was but a hick living in the boonies.
「You appear to be having fun.」
Kalim commented sarcastically.
「That’s about right! Thanks to those cute fairies, we can all live in comfort! You get it, right? These Adidas shoes cost about three grand, y’know. This Mercedes? Three-hundred-thousand bucks. With just three dollars, you can have fun with the ladies as well. Cheap, ain’t it? Why do you think that is?」
「No, I don’t get it.」
「That’s cuz I’m handsome. Women on Earth are nothing but dumb whores. They get wet just from a Semanese’s stare. I could care less about selling or even killing them. A puppy-eyed pretty boy is all it takes for them to open their cunts! Macho men aren’t really in style anymore. Taking over the world would be a piece of cake for someone like me. Wait three generations, and everyone’ll be our fellow Semanese brothers and sisters!」
Translator’s Notes:
- TL Note: ‘Culprit’ in Farbanian.
- TL Note: Tilarna pronounces Kei’s name as Khe as well.
- TL Note: ‘Thank you’ in Farbanian.
- TL Note: ‘Good night’ (lit. a calm night to you) in Farbanian.
- TL Note: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yamato_nadeshiko