Cozy Obsession

Without any response, Heemin swallowed silently. As Heemin kept his eyes closed without reacting, Yiheon gently started to stroke his head. Stroking the hair of someone who had fallen asleep was an action typical of a person accustomed to tenderness, something Heemin had always longed for. Despite it being a positive sign, the relief and joy that the keyword-changing project was going well did not rise significantly.Instead of ‘you,’ Yiheon properly called him ‘Heemin.’ However, it could be said that it was a call towards the younger personality of ‘Seo Heemin,’ the one he loved, rather than the twenty-one-year-old Heemin. Even though he knew this, it made Heemin feel a bit lonely.He had thought lightly that once he kissed, had sex, and confessed step by step, and then got married, this virtual reality game would be over. However, it seemed that reality was reality, no matter how virtual the world was. There were too many unexpected variables, and he found himself getting attached to the people here without even realizing it. He wanted to be his true self, not ‘Seo Heemin’s’ split personality.Heemin felt sleepiness creep in from the gentle, warm touch. While trying to keep himself from losing consciousness in the cozy embrace of the blanket, he wiggled his toes until he eventually fell asleep.* * *When he opened his eyes, the bright sunlight had deeply permeated the room. It was afternoon. Heemin stretched his arms above his head, had a big stretch, and then got out of bed. He had slept deeply without dreaming since he fell back asleep at dawn, and thanks to that, he felt quite refreshed. He briefly considered walking on the treadmill for just ten minutes but decided to focus on recovering his condition today and headed to the bathroom. He wanted to wash off the sweat he had shed overnight and then draw.“I’m awake, aunt.”Ms. Ahn was busy cleaning the living room. As she hurriedly turned off the vacuum and took out her phone, Heemin pointed towards the bathroom, indicating he was going to take a shower.“Please continue cleaning. I’ll be out after a shower.”[I’ll prepare lunch for you when you come out. I’ve made chueotang (loach soup).]Chueotang for lunch brought a small smile to his lips. It was undoubtedly another health food ordered by Yiheon. As expected, he was someone who took meals seriously. He wondered if Yiheon had managed to have lunch properly or if he had just grabbed a salad again, lacking time. And not just any salad, but a dry chicken breast salad with not a hint of fat.“Hey, aunt. Can I send just one text? It’s for the boss.”Ms. Ahn, well aware of the strict instruction to keep Heemin away from mobile phones, hesitated but handed over the phone when he mentioned the ‘boss,’ a magical word. Heemin took the phone, making sure she could see the screen, and pressed the message icon. As he typed in the memorized number, the recipient’s name automatically changed to ‘Usin Capital President Cha Yiheon.’Despite living together and having kissed twice, sending a text for the first time made him strangely nervous. He kept hesitating about what to write. He wanted to ask lightly about his well-being without sounding too wordy or formal.‘Did you have a good day at work, hyung?’It’s too late in the day for this and sounded too much like Kim Minseok’s tone. Pass.‘Did you have hangover soup?’Why ask someone who could drink crates of soju without feeling a thing about hangover soup. Pass.‘Have a great day♥’The heart at the end would likely make him think it was sent by mistake. Pass.‘What should I write?’He kept staring at the blank screen for minutes, prompting Ms. Ahn to look at him curiously. Heemin felt a bit embarrassed, considering his history of causing trouble with her phone, but decided to write something he could delete later if it didn’t feel right.[This letter started in England and brings good luck to those who receive it, making a round trip in a year and now it’s coming to you.]He wrote the part he remembered and looked up, meeting Ms. Ahn’s puzzled gaze. If she could speak, her eyes would have asked if he was out of his mind.“I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I played a little joke. Haha.”Apparently, even in this world, chain letters existed. Heemin scratched the back of his head with an awkward laugh and moved his thumb to the delete button. If this were a comedy novel, his finger might have slipped, causing the text to send, but thankfully, he avoided any mishap by carefully deleting it and creating a new sentence.[When will you be home? I miss you.]The message encapsulated all his curiosities about Yiheon’s wellbeing, meals, and whether they could have dinner together. Ms. Ahn’s face softened into a gentle smile as she read it.Buzz.Just as Heemin was about to close the message window and return the phone, a sudden vibration startled him. On the screen, the caller ID showed ‘Usin Capital President Cha Yiheon.’ The speed of the response was almost light-speed. He feared Yiheon might have called thinking Ms. Ahn had texted him. Anxiously, Heemin answered without a greeting.“I sent the text.”― I know.Yiheon’s tone suggested he wondered why Heemin was being so straightforward.“How did you know?”― If I didn’t know, why would I call someone who can’t speak?“…Oh. Right.”Indeed, as Yiheon said, he would have replied with a serious, ‘Did you just text me?’ instead of calling.― I’ll be home around 9:30.Just before their lips met, a soft voice that whispered so gently back then resonated in his ears. Although he only conveyed a brief message, the calmness embedded between the words left a lingering effect, gently stirring his heart.“Are you coming home for dinner?”― Probably.“I slept through lunch, so I haven’t eaten yet. Since I’ll be eating late, let’s have dinner at nine-thirty.”In other words, he was asking Yiheon to sit with him at the table, even if he had already eaten. He worried if this was too much to ask of someone who worked hard all day. After a brief silence that followed his words, he swallowed dryly, and Yiheon responded a beat later.― Sure. Let’s do that.“Don’t be even a minute late.”― I’ll leave the chairman’s house by nine. I won’t be late.Come to think of it, Dr. Hwang also mentioned he had to go to the chairman’s house today. It seemed there was an important meeting there.“You must be tired from drinking yesterday, so don’t overwork yourself. See you later, hyung.”While Heemin could rest as much as he wanted, Yiheon couldn’t. As a company president, or rather, as a gangster executive, he could show his temper but never show any signs of being unwell. It wasn’t just about his pride; it was his inherent setting.― See you later.“Okay.”― …….Holding the phone to his ear, Heemin waited for the call to end. Instead, he heard a faint breath on the other end through the slight static.“…Hyung?”― You hang up first.“Oh, okay. I’ll hang up now.”He thought the call would end the moment he said ‘okay,’ but Yiheon kept holding the phone. He was surprised to find out that even the bad-tempered gangster Cha Yiheon had the same habit of waiting for the other person to hang up first.After pressing the end call button, Heemin stared blankly at the call log screen. He had expected the contact to come much later due to Yiheon’s busy schedule, but the reply had come almost immediately, and his mood didn’t seem too bad.It seemed he wasn’t suffering from any aftereffects of the suppressants as Heemin had feared.Realizing where he was, Heemin returned the phone to Ms. Ahn. Regardless, he was now able to have dinner with Yiheon. After dinner, it might be nice to go for a walk to aid digestion.“I’ll go take a shower now.”He bowed his head to Ms. Ahn, who had waited for him and couldn’t clean because of him, then headed to the dressing room connected to the bathroom. In the dressing room, now filled with quite a few of his clothes, Heemin hummed a tune as he picked out what to wear. He was excited at the prospect of getting some fresh air.He walked straight into the bathroom, washed his hair, and cleaned his whole body. Even after finishing his shower, he enjoyed standing under the warm water, letting it pour over him. Countless droplets continuously fell on his head, making him feel warm as if soaking in a bathtub. The tension from the previous night slowly melted away.He stood under the stream of water, lost in thought, like someone listening to the sound of rain tapping on a window. Suddenly, he remembered there were no surveillance cameras in the bathroom.‘…Should I practice?’Indeed, as Dr. Hwang had suggested, to build a trusting relationship with Yiheon and have a peaceful intimate encounter, he needed to reduce his aversion to the sexual desires ingrained in ‘Seo Heemin’s’ body.Still, it felt a bit embarrassing to do such things with someone else’s body…Ms. Ahn was cleaning, and Kim Min-seok was out collecting money, so he wasn’t around today. There was no one to disturb him now. If he didn’t take this opportunity, he might not get another chance to practice anytime soon.‘Just try it a little. If it doesn’t work, then stop.’He was in a good mood and well-rested, so his condition was great. It didn’t seem like a bad idea to give it a shot.Reminding himself repeatedly that this was for Cha Yiheon and part of the process to ensure a happy ending, Heemin slightly turned the showerhead to the side.‘…This is so embarrassing.’In reality, he used his morning erections to relieve his sexual desires suitably because he never knew when someone might knock on the bathroom door. But attempting it leisurely in the afternoon felt strangely awkward and unusual.Taking a deep breath, he wrapped his hand around his soft member. The size, shape, texture, and even the color were familiar, giving him a peculiar sense of familiarity. If he saw a jade-colored sink instead of the black faucet, showerhead, and dark tiles, he would have believed he was in reality.It would have been nice if it was as big as a baseball bat like Cha Yiheon’s or at least the size of a water bottle.Although ‘Seo Heemin’s’ member, that is, his own, was above average, it still felt a bit disappointing.“Mm…”He focused on creating friction by sliding the thin skin up and down. Instead of imagining someone’s naked body or erotic scenes, he concentrated on the sensations he felt in his hand.But maybe because it had been so long, or maybe because it was ‘Seo Heemin’s’ body, he couldn’t get excited as he had thought. He rubbed the shaft and the tip as he always did.‘Heemin-ah.’Just as he was about to give up thinking it was no use, a deep, resonant voice echoed in his head. He could vividly recall Yiheon’s face, carefully kissing his closed eyelids like a scene from a movie.“Ah!”Despite all the stimulation, his member had remained unresponsive until the thought of Yiheon immediately made it hard. Heemin looked down in shock at his now erect penis.‘Why, why, why, why is this happening? …Am I crazy?’His face flushed with heat. It was pleasing that ‘Seo Heemin’s’ unyielding body finally reacted, but the fact that he got aroused thinking of a friend’s face was something that shouldn’t happen.‘My brain must be soaked in BL novels.’He thought that the only way to advance their relationship was to have sex with Cha Yiheon. There was a sense of sympathy, a desire to relieve his congestion, but it was more than that.However, no matter how much he thought about it, this wasn’t right. The desperation of having to sleep with Yiheon must have created this absurd situation.Please, another ‘Seo Heemin’. Stop this and help me out.He cursed the body of ‘Seo Heemin’ for having seizures in front of Cha Yiheon and then reacting at times like this. It wasn’t a joke, so what was the point of this?He let out a dry laugh at the absurdity of it all but felt slightly relieved that the situation wasn’t entirely hopeless.Eunkyung had once said that the body and mind are connected. In the end, ‘Seo Heemin’ probably liked Cha Yiheon too, which might be why Yiheon’s image appeared in his mind despite Heemin’s own will.‘Even so, masturbating while thinking about Cha Yiheon isn’t right. Let’s stop.’Heemin blamed ‘Seo Heemin’ intensely while scrubbing his hands clean. It seemed he would have to postpone the practice.The intention to get rid of trauma was good, but if he went through with this, he wouldn’t be able to look Yiheon in the eye for a while. It was better to stop here.‘Let’s go inside and draw with a reverent heart. I need some mental training.’Telling Yiheon that he wanted to like him was never meant in such a lowly sense. Regardless of how amazing the kiss they shared was, what Heemin desired was agape love, free of lust.He wanted a noble and pure emotion that he could remember beautifully even after returning to reality.To clear his mind, he adjusted the water temperature so he wouldn’t catch a cold and let the endless stream of water pour over his head. After reciting the names of about fifty out of Korea’s hundred most renowned figures, his heartbeat, which had been irregular like arrhythmia, started to calm down.After singing the song completely, he contemplated the still life he would draw today. As he gradually shook off his thoughts, the image of Yiheon that had lingered in front of his eyes disappeared along with the flowing water.His body, which had been overheated, returned to a lukewarm state.* * *The sound of the pencil scratching against the paper was pleasant. The view outside the window, bathed in crimson light, the occasional sounds from the kitchen, and the smell of watercolor paint from the drying paper created an exceedingly peaceful time.He hadn’t realized that drawing could be as enjoyable as reading an interesting book. The process of overlapping lines to form surfaces, and those surfaces coming together to create a solid form, brought immense joy to Heemin.In the past glimpsed through hypnotherapy, there was always drawing involved in Seo Heemin’s life. Thanks to this, there was no need to learn how to draw from someone else. He just had to remember well and mimic the drawings Seo Heemin had created.Today, he practiced drawing the whiskey Yiheon liked to drink and a disused ashtray. Expressing the texture of transparent glass was harder than he had thought, and he redrew and recolored several sheets.After completing a pencil sketch and a watercolor painting, he was about to finish his own piece that deconstructed and reconstructed the elements.He was so engrossed that he forgot to turn on the lights and drew in the dim light. Just as he was about to draw the final line, the last streak of sunset faded away, and a deep blue darkness enveloped the surroundings.“Ah…”The disappointment of missing the timing made him sigh deeply. Heemin leaned back in his chair and quietly exhaled.He had been so absorbed in drawing that the reflection of the city lights on the dark river below appeared exceptionally sentimental to his eyes today. He resolved to paint a landscape once his skills improved.Knock, knock.A short knock on the open door was followed by the light being turned on. Blinking at the bright light, Heemin saw Ms. Ahn entering the room.“What is it?”She usually avoided disturbing him, so her appearance surprised him. She showed Heemin a screen with a message she had prepared in advance.[You need to come out for a moment. You have a visitor.]“A visitor?”He hadn’t heard the doorbell because he had been so absorbed in his work. It was strange that Ms. Ahn, who usually specified the identity of visitors such as Dr. Hwang or Secretary Jung, had generalized it as ‘a visitor.’Who could it be that she needed to confirm with him?He was about to ask for the visitor’s name but realized that she couldn’t communicate with the intercom. Heemin hurriedly stood up, removed his work apron, and headed to the living room.“…Kwak Yoonseong?”The face on the intercom screen was someone he hadn’t expected. Despite his age, his appearance retained a beauty akin to a rose. It was understandable why Ms. Ahn was perplexed by someone who didn’t seem connected to the organization at all.Why had Kwak Yoonseong suddenly come here? And how did he know the address?Then he remembered that this was Yiheon’s house. It wasn’t a safe house unknown even to his fellow gang members, so it wasn’t surprising that Kwak Yoonseong had found out, given his tenacity.Still, the sudden visit was bewildering. Heemin checked the time. Seven-thirty in the evening. There were still two hours before Yiheon would come home.“Auntie, contact the president and tell him my foster father is here.”[Are you going to let him in?]“He probably won’t do anything strange. It’s okay.”Although Kwak Yoonseong was an unstable entity like a time bomb, there was still enough time before the ticking clock of the collaboration with Shin Seungbeom would explode into an incident.To ensure the bomb fizzled out without an explosion, Heemin needed to soothe and prevent Kwak Yoonseong from concocting any cunning plans.Premature suspicion often led to confusion and death. While it was unpleasant to deal with someone whose schemes were so transparent, he couldn’t afford to give any leeway to Kwak Yoonseong.Cha Yiheon’s life depended on it.While Ms. Ahn drafted the message, Heemin pressed the intercom button to open the entrance to the underground parking lot. He watched Kwak Yoonseong walk through the opened door on the screen.As Yoonseong rode the elevator up, Heemin hurriedly organized and put away the drawings he had made today. He couldn’t let Yoonseong see his deteriorated skills.Ding dong.The doorbell rang, followed by a knock, as if to announce the visitor’s presence. Heemin closed his eyes for a moment to collect his thoughts, then welcomed Kwak Yoonseong, recalling the personality and speech patterns of the ‘Seo Heemin’ from the novel.“Heemin, it’s Dad!”As soon as the door opened, a voice feigning cheerfulness echoed through the entrance. Unlike an Alpha, a strangely sweet Omega pheromone scent wafted into Heemin’s nose.“What brings you here, Father?”“I was curious about how you’re doing, so I came to visit. I’m disappointed you haven’t contacted me.”“I’ve been engrossed in my work.”Once ‘Seo Heemin’ started drawing, he would shut himself in his studio for months, wholly devoted to his art.Heemin deliberately brushed his bangs aside and gave a light smile. Yoonseong, staring at Heemin’s paint-stained fingers, quickly changed the subject without much suspicion.“Is President Cha not back yet? He left the office right at six today, which is unusual.”He believed Heemin and Yiheon were dating, yet his attempt to probe Yiheon’s absence was evident. Heemin barely managed to suppress a wry smile.“He had to meet the Chairman.”“Yoon Daeho of Wooshin Group?”“Yes, Chairman Yoon.”“Oh, really? Ma’am, please hang this up carefully so it doesn’t get wrinkled.”Yoonseong followed Heemin into the house, tossing his jacket to Ms. Ahn, who stood nearby.Observing a character who pretended to be sophisticated but was inherently vulgar and materialistic was surprisingly entertaining. It felt almost like watching a play. Of course, Heemin was also the protagonist of this novel world.“You might as well hand over your bag too.”Heemin extended his hand with a smile. Yoonseong clutched the handle tightly, as if it were a bag full of cash.“No, that’s alright.”