44. Remains
Unfortunately the infirmary's devastation meant a lot of what I'd been hoping to recover was not in great shape. Some of the debris floating around was stuff that had been securely stowed in cupboards and drawers and so forth.
Still, it wasn't a total write-off. The captain and I were able to get past the office and into the examination room behind. The damage there wasn't as catastrophic, and three of the storage cabinets appeared intact.
I had some recovery bags in a thigh pocket on my e-suit, so I pulled one out and opened it up. Then with the captain's help we were able to pry open the first cabinet, and I started transferring boxes of medical supplies into the bag.
Emptying all three cabinets took us about ten minutes, and by the time we were done I'd filled two bags.
After another look around I said, "I think that's all we're going to get from here boss."
"Agreed," she responded. "Where's your cabin located?"
I grimaced, "I was on the next deck up, port-side. Best way to get there from here is head back the way we came? Just inside the bulkhead there'll be another bulkhead on the starboard side of the corridor, that opens to the main stairway? Take that up one level, through another bulkhead into the corridor above this one, then a little ways aft to my cabin."
"I'm not sure it's worth it to be honest," I added.
Piper decided, "Let's get this stuff back to the shuttle. We'll talk it over on the way."
"Yes ma'am."
Even though we were just retracing our steps we still had to be careful. With all the wreckage floating around there was a risk of damaging our e-suits if they caught on something sharp. Or getting ourselves entangled in the debris could be just as bad.
Piper stopped partway down the corridor and asked, "That's the bulkhead you mentioned?"
"Right," I replied. "Behind that is the main stairway, it connects every deck of the ship, from the lowest level right up to the bridge. It'll be sealed though, bulkheads on every single level."
She asked, "So we have to cut our way in, then cut our way back out. Any more bulkheads between there and your cabin?"
I shook my head, "No ma'am. My cabin was just forward of the next bulkhead. Basically straight up above us and a bit aft from here."
"Hmmm," she sounded thoughtful as she looked up. Then she shook her head, "Probably easier to just go through the bulkheads. No way of knowing what sort of stuff is crammed in between the decks."
As we started moving again she said "Since we're already here we should take the time and visit your cabin. Unless you specifically don't want to? This is probably your one and only chance, so we may as well do it."
"Yeah," I sighed. "You're right. Thanks boss."
We were both quiet the rest of the way back to the shuttle. The two recovery bags were secured inside the small craft, then we set out again to head back into the wreck. We climbed through the first bulkhead, then stopped at the second one that led to the stairway.
Piper got out her cutting tool, and I waited as she carefully carved a large round hole into that one as well. Once we were through we found the main stairwell was in even worse shape than the corridor we just left. The stairs were mangled and unusable, and if there'd been gravity they probably would have all collapsed down to the lowest level.
I glanced upwards and was rewarded with a glimpse of stars spinning past. It seemed like the upper deck simply didn't exist anymore. I was left wondering if there was anything left of the bridge at all, or if it had been completely obliterated by the mine.
It didn't take long for us to climb up to the next deck, then it was another ten or twelve minutes for the captain to cut a large round hole in the next bulkhead. And once she pushed that out of the way we got our first look at the deck which housed the port-side officers cabins. It wasn't a pretty sight.
The main corridor had been mostly clear, with some obstructions and debris. Now we were looking at a maze of twisted debris, cables, and conduits.
"I'm not sure it's worth it boss," I said as I looked at the mess in front of us.
Piper shrugged, "We'll give it a try. Follow my lead though, and don't get yourself hung up on anything."
A moment later she added, "Uh, be really careful of your tail Amanda? It kind of sticks out at the back and if we're squeezing through something you don't want that part of your suit getting caught or damaged."
I blushed but smiled, "Don't worry about that. It's like any other part of my body, I'm very aware of where it is. Like you know where your feet are even when you can't see them? I have the same awareness of my tail, and my ears."
"Huh." She sounded thoughtful as if she was mulling that over. "I never thought of it like that? I suppose I was imagining it was like something stuck on."
She added with a grin, "Having never had a tail myself, I can't really conceive what it's like?"
"Maybe you should give it a try boss," I teased. "You never know, you might like it."
Piper sounded like she was suppressing a laugh as she replied, "Noted. Now let's keep moving."
She found us a path through the mess, but it was slow going. A distance I'd cover in seconds before now took us three or four minutes instead. We also gave up any semblance of moving upright through the ship. We were floating and travelling horizontally as we navigated the debris.
"This is it," I said as my helmet lights illuminated the door to my cabin.
It was in worse shape than the infirmary door one level down. The metal was bent and wrinkled, along with the corridor walls.
The captain pulled out her cutting tool again, and carefully carved her way through.
That took her a few minutes, then she started carefully moving the door aside. It was partway clear when she suddenly swore, "Shit!"
"Are you ok?" I asked. I was sort of behind her while she'd been working, and didn't have a clear view of what happened.
"I'm fine," she sighed. There was a brief hesitation before she added, "There's a body just inside the door."
I grimaced, "My roommate, I assume. He was probably off-duty when it happened."
Piper hadn't moved out of the way yet, she was still blocking my view of the situation. She warned me, "It's not a pretty sight. And the cabin's in about the same condition as the corridor. Just so you know."
After a deep breath I replied, "Understood. I can handle it."
That was all the confirmation she needed, so she moved further into the cabin. I followed behind, and tried to brace myself for what I'd find.
Ensign Howard and I weren't friends. Not that I had anything against him, he was simply the person I was assigned to share living quarters with. He was a few years younger than me, and he was on a career path in the Navy. He was a junior helmsman but he talked quite a bit about getting into command school and someday being captain of his own ship.
I knew his dad was also a career Navy man, serving as XO aboard a destroyer somewhere. I knew he had an older sister called Tia, and she did astro-cartography. And I knew he corresponded with his mother every ten days like clockwork, with video messages exchanged via FTL.
All that passed through my mind as I came face to face with his remains. I couldn't say for sure that exposure to the vacuum was what killed him, but the dark mottled stains in his skin and the crystallized boiled blood around his eyes nose and mouth, not to mention the expression on his face, suggested he'd probably been alive when the cabin depressurized.
He was pinned just inside the door by part of the ship's structure that collapsed from the deck above, in such a way that held him there but probably hadn't actually killed him.
I did my best to push all that out of my mind as I quickly averted my gaze. The rest of the cabin was a shambles, just like the corridor outside. It was bad enough that despite having lived there for three quarters of a year I still needed a few seconds to get my bearings.
Piper stayed out of the way as I manoeuvred myself over to the remains of my locker. I pulled another recovery bag from my thigh pocket, and pried open the buckled locker door. Then with shaking hands I started picking through the contents, as I searched for the handful of personal effects I wanted to keep.
"You're sure you're ok Amanda?" the captain asked.
I took a moment to try and calm myself, then replied "I'm ok. I uh, might actually need a drink when we get back to the ship though."
"Understood," she responded.
My mind was still on Ensign Howard, or more specifically his family.
It was crazy, I'd never met any of them. I didn't even know their names, apart from the sister. Even so, I found myself getting emotional as I thought about how people I'd never met would be feeling about the death of a guy I barely knew.
Something like thirty-five days had passed since the Hammersmith was destroyed. The ensign's mom would have missed three, maybe four FTL exchanges with him. Even if the Imperium Navy didn't know for sure what happened, his family would know something was wrong.
I wasn't that close to my own family, we were only in touch a few times a year. They probably wouldn't realize I was gone until they received an official communication from the Navy, along with the transfer of credits from my account.
Up till that point I hadn't really been that worried about them, but suddenly I was wondering if I should try and contact my family after all. I didn't even know what I'd say, or if I should let them know it was me. But I couldn't help thinking how they'd react when they finally got the news.
My hands were still shaking slightly as I pushed my locker door closed. There was one more thing I suddenly needed, and I hoped I'd be able to find it amid all the detritus floating around.
I managed to squeeze past some debris and reached the bunks. Blankets and pillows floated freely, but I found what I was looking for in my bunk where I'd left it. It was a small personal datapad that my family had given me as a going-away gift when I joined the Navy. And it contained all the correspondence and photos they'd sent me over the past five years.
As soon as I found it I added it to the recovery bag. I didn't bother to check if it was damaged or not, I could look at that later.
"That's it," I said quietly. "Let's get out of here."
Piper gestured, "You first Amanda. Follow the tether, retrace our path. I'll be right behind you."
The recovery bag made it more of a challenge, but I clipped that to my belt and did my best to hold it between my legs as I used my hands to guide myself out of the cabin. I made sure to look the other way as I passed by my roommate's remains, then out in the corridor I started making my way back towards the stairway.
The captain wasn't far behind, even without looking back I could tell she was with me as the light from her helmet shone past and around me.
We gradually made our way back down to the next deck, out past the bulkhead, and finally out through the main airlock. Piper paused there to unclip the tether from the handhold, then the two of us moved over the outside of the hull and finally into the shuttle.
I stowed the third recovery bag alongside the other two while she hit the controls to close the overhead doors and seal up the craft. Finally she disconnected us both from the tether, then that and the toolkits were both stowed as well.
Piper got back into the pilot seat while I took the copilot's, and we got ourselves strapped in.
Neither of us said a word as she disengaged the magnetic clamps, then started slowly moving us out away from the Hammersmith's hull. We remained quiet as she activated the shuttle's engine. As we put more space between us and the wreck she gradually stopped the shuttle's tumble, so once again the stars appeared motionless and we were oriented on the same plane as the Demeter.
She repressurized the shuttle once we were past most of the debris field, then the captain finally spoke up. "You can get that helmet off now if you want Amanda. We're at full pressure, and we'll be docking with the Demeter in about five minutes."
"Thanks boss," I replied quietly as I reached up to undo the suit seals.
She did the same, one hand on the flight controls and the other hand at her neck as she unlocked her helmet.
I lifted mine off first, then helped get hers off as well. She ramped up the shuttle's artificial gravity, and both helmets settled to the floor behind us.
A few minutes later we were alongside the Demeter. Docking was a mostly-automated process, once she had the shuttle lined up the software took over and pulled us in. The airlocks sealed, pressure equalized, and finally Piper opened up the hatch.
I stayed quiet as I picked up my helmet and the recovery bag with the things from my cabin, then followed the captain out of the shuttle. Sarah and Jenny were there to greet us, but I stayed quiet as I got out of my e-suit. The captain did the same, then we stowed our suits and the four of us headed to the mess.
I slumped into one of the chairs, while Rebecca pulled out a trio of shot glasses and a bottle of the hard stuff.