Deception, Domination, and Dragons (Skyrim Self-Insert)

After an hour putting Lydia in her place, I was feeling a lot better. As Svanna and I approached the lesson going on in the Hall of Elements while Lydia rested off the heavy discipline back in our shared room, I even have a smile on my face.
 
As we arrive, Tolfdir is indeed doing his little lesson… and the other Apprentices, Brelyna, Onmund, and J’zargo are all making their arguments for more practical sorts of lessons. Svanna and I stand there for a moment in silence, just listening to Tolfdir talk and the other three Apprentices all make their impassioned pleas. Finally, after a few minutes of this back and forth, Tolfdir looks to the two of us.
 
If the old wizard is upset at us just showing up at random, he doesn’t show it. Instead, there’s an almost grandfatherly smile on his face as, with the practice of a born instructor, he pulls us into the conversation.
 
“You’ve both been rather quiet so far. What do you think we should do?”
 
Well, heh, it didn’t really matter what I said here. Tolfdir had already either made his mind up ahead of time, or been swayed by the pleas of the other students. Still, why not earn some brownie points with the others early on?”
 
“I think we should learn something practical, Master.”
 
Lifting his bushy brow, the old wizard hums.
 
“Is that so?” Would you mind helping me with a demonstration of sorts then? Are you at all familiar with ward spells?”
 
I nod my head.
 
“Familiar enough.”
 
In truth, my Alteration is already at One Hundred and one of those skills I’m not using to farm extra traits and just leaving filled out rather than prestiging it again and again. The Ordinator Perk Tree of Alteration is just too good, though I have yet to take the Home Mythal Perk yet, on account of not having a proper place I want to put it.
 
I also hadn’t taken the Vancian magic Perk or any of its Advanced Perks either. While I was a big fan of D&D back in my previous life, being limited by a Spell Slot type system just didn’t sound fun to me. Maybe that was a mistake, but in all honesty, I preferred not having to sleep at the moment. Still, there were plenty of other Alteration Perks that I hadn’t been able to resist.
 
Things like Philosopher’s Stone, which just gave me four hundred gold a day. Or Alter Self: Resistance and Alter Self: Attributes, giving me resistances to certain types of damages and extra stamina. Because of course I’d picked extra stamina, that meant permanent extra inventory space! Other perks, like Nullifier and Intuitive Magic and Command Lock were all just as useful as well.
 
Regardless, Tolfdir just nods and smiles at me, seemingly taking my words at face value.
 
“Well then, this should be no problem at all for you. Stand over there, please.”
 
Doing as I’m told, I turn and face Tolfdir as the other Apprentices and Svanna watch on, curiously.
 
“I’m going to cast a spell at you, and you block it with the ward. Cast the ward spell now and keep it up!”
 
I do so, to which Tolfdir hums.
 
“Very good! Hold still.”
 
A moment later, and he’s casting a firebolt at me. It splashes off the ward harmlessly of course, and that’s it. That’s the end of the demonstration.
 
“Excellent work!”
 
I glance over at the Apprentices, curious to see if any of them are disappointed that it’s over so soon. Yet, they seem excited and energized enough by the practical display. Hm. Maybe I’m not cut out to be an Apprentice of the College. No, scratch that, I’m definitely not cut out to be an Apprentice of the College. That’s why I was gunning for Arch-Mage, after all.
 
“Alright then, class. That’s enough for today. I think this has been an excellent start, and I hope you all continue to practice with wards in your free time. Meanwhile, I think perhaps we’re ready to explore some of the various applications of magic throughout history. The College has recently undertaken a fascinating excavation in the ruins of Saarthal nearby, and I do believe having you all take part is an excellent learning opportunity.”

As the other Apprentices jolt and then cheer and jump for joy in excitement, Tolfdir’s smile grows.
 
“I suggest we meet there in a few hours and see what awaits us inside. That will be all for now, thank you.”
 
As everyone begins making preparations to depart, I suck in a breath through my teeth. What I’m about to do next might just be the toughest thing I’ve done since arriving in this world, amusingly enough. Turning to Svanna, I step in close, lowering my voice to a murmur that only she can hear.
 
“Svanna, I’d like you to go ahead of me with Tolfdir and the others and scout out Saarthal. However, no matter what, I don’t want you to go beyond the first chamber. Can you do that for me?”
 
Blinking, the lithe Dragonborn cocks her head to the side, clearly noting the seriousness of my tone. After a beat, she nods, but also asks the obvious.
 
“… What will you be doing?”
 
I hate being evasive with her, but the Thalmor in me absolutely detests the thought of telling her the whole truth. I’m supposed to be undercover after all and keeping her in the dark to my true goals is imperative to assuring they remain possible. If Svanna were to learn that she could end the Civil War here in Skyrim… would she? I didn’t know, but I also didn’t want to risk it. Better to keep her here, by my side, away from both Stormcloaks AND Imperials for the time being.
 
“There’s someone here at the College that I need to speak with, alone. I’ll join you at Saarthal along with Lydia as soon as I’m done.”
 
Accepting my words at face value, Svanna just nods and moves off to shadow the other Apprentices, the three of them already making their own plans to begin their trek out to the Ruins of Saarthal. So long as Svanna didn’t go too far into the ruins, it should be fine. She was the Dragonborn after all, and it was up to her to uncover the Eye of Magnus. The narrative demanded it.
 
Letting out a low breath, I watch her go… and then turn to seek out the College’s resident Thalmor. It was no longer possible for me to put this meeting off. It was time to have a talk with Ancano.
 
-x-X-x-
 
“Ah, another new Apprentice I see.”
 
I’m not surprised when Ancano looks down his nose at me. In fact, my Thalmor half thinks its entirely appropriate. Ancano wears the robes of his station, the robes of a fully-recognized Thalmor Representative. That alone puts him above me… but does it? I am… so much more powerful than him. I could kill him in an instant.
 
That didn’t mean I should though, right? He might not be my direct superior, but he WAS superior to me. Except no he wasn’t. He was- tch, I was getting lost in my own head again. I couldn’t afford to daydream in front of Ancano, both halves of me agreed to that much at least. The Thalmor Mage is looking at me imperiously, and so I go ahead and give him a broad smile, followed by a deep bow.
 
“Yes, Advisor. When I heard there was a Thalmor Representative on College grounds, I wished to… make myself available to you.”
 
When I lift my head, Ancano looks surprised… and immensely pleased.
 
“Is that so? Hm, your traveling companions did not… escape my notice.”
 
Ah, of course traveling with two Nords would be a mark against me with Ancano, not something of merit.
 
“It was unavoidable, I’m afraid. Advisor… is it possible I could speak with you somewhere more… private? Away from any prying ears?”
 
That takes Ancano off guard, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.
 
“And why would you need to do that?”
 
I hesitate, trying to find a way to put it into words.
 
“… I believe I have knowledge that the Thalmor need to hear. Knowledge of what’s taking place here at the College… and what’s going to take place very soon. I don’t believe anyone but you is equipped to handle what is to come.”
 
Bah, I only half-believed that. Not even half, probably. Honestly, I was of two minds on all of this, but my human side was willing to humor my Thalmor side because he was convinced Ancano would show his true colors. But what did that even mean? His true colors were that of the Thalmor. It didn’t matter to the Thalmor in me that Ancano had ‘betrayed’ the College in this video game my human half remembered playing.
 
The College of Winterhold had not deserved his loyalty anyways. But if he could be talked around, if he could be persuaded to not start anything he couldn’t finish with the Eye of Magnus, maybe everything could still be worked out.
 
“… Hm, very well. Come with me.”
 
I jolt out of my inner musings as Ancano turns on his heel and begins leading me somewhere. Following after him, I quickly find myself on the Winterhold Ramparts, the college’s rooftop area, where there’s nothing and no one to disturb us or spy on us. Of course, the moment we’re alone up there, Ancano whips around and his hands crackle with lightning magic as he glares at me.
 
“Who are you really? What do you truly want?”
 
My first instinct is… well, split. Half of me wants to immediately grovel, the other half wants to immediately stick a sword in his chest. He probably thinks he’s so strong, but I am so much stronger. Why was I even humoring him at this point? Because… because I had to. Because he was Thalmor.
 
“Advisor! Please, I only wish to help you! I have… had visions of the future! I know what is to come!”
 
His eyes narrow even further at that, and it’s clear he doesn’t believe me. I hasten to try and convince him.
 
“T-The Dragonborn! I travel with the Dragonborn, Advisor Ancano! That is not by coincidence. My visions showed me her… showed me where she would appear and how she would slay and consume the souls of Dragons! I made sure to make myself indispensable to her and have kept her at my side ever since!”
 
THAT brings Ancano up short. The lightning magic doesn’t fully leave his hands, but the Elemental Mage does pull back a bit, looking at me suspiciously still, even as he tries to put my words into context and understand my motivations.
 
“The Dragonborn… I’d heard a whisper, but… which one is she?”
 
“The red head, Advisor. Svanna. The other is my Housecarl, Lydia. Svanna and I killed a dragon outside Whiterun, and the Jarl there made me Thane for the deed.”
 
“Hm.”
 
Slowly, Ancano fully straightens up, and the magic in his hands ceases. Slowly, a thin smile spreads across his lips. He looks at me as if he’s begun to understand me.
 
“You wish to join the Thalmor then, don’t you? You aim to sway me with such gifts…”
 
Something twinges in the back of my head at that. What did he mean by ‘gifts’? No, it didn’t matter. What mattered was I was finally getting through to him. Maybe he would listen now.
 
“Advisor, please heed my words. As I said, I have had visions of the future. The Saarthal Excavation will soon unearth an ancient magical artifact of immense power, possibly as early as today or tomorrow. They will call it the Eye of Magnus and you must… you must be careful with it. Tampering with it, messing with it in any way… it could be the undoing of us all.”
 
In a flash, Ancano’s smile is gone, and his eyes narrow once more as he looks at me, not with suspicion, but with anger.
 
“You dare tell me what to do, whelp?”
 
I raise my hands placatingly.
 
“Only advise, Lord Ancano. The Eye of Magnus is beyond you, beyond us. In the visions I saw, your efforts to bend it to the will of the Thalmor… resulted in your death.”
 
Ancano’s nostrils flare, that declaration giving him pause, finally. He was actually listening. My human half was wrong, he COULD be reasoned with. Obviously, in the ‘game’ I’d played through, he’d simply been operating on incomplete information. That didn’t make him incompetent, it just meant he needed someone else in his corner, someone like-!
 
“No matter.”
 
Ancano gestures sharply as he shakes his head.
 
“Now that I know what to avoid, I will simply be more careful. I will Master the Eye of Magnus one way or the other and turn it to my Will.”
 
I furrow my brow.
 
“But sir, you risk much if you do that. The Aldmeri Dominion-!”
 
“The Dominion has sent me to the College. No one else. I am the Dominion’s acting authority in this place, and what I say goes. This… Eye. It is clear that it belongs in capable hands. There are none more capable than my own in all of Winterhold, are there not?”
 
He’s smiling confidently now, as if daring me to challenge him. I open my mouth… and then close it. My stomach churns. I’ve never felt more Thalmor rather than human than in this moment. Its almost… it’s almost like my human half has retreated in silent protest, pushing forward my Thalmor self. That was the part of me that wanted this, after all. And yet, the words ‘be careful what you wish for’ play over and over again in the back of my mind.
 
Before I can try to further convince Ancano of the terrible consequences that awaited his actions, the Thalmor Mage snaps his fingers at me.
 
“You will bring the Dragonborn to me. I shall test her myself. Once I’m done with her, we shall have to send her on to the Embassy, where the First Emissary will take charge of her.”
 
Wait, what? Even my human half is taken aback by those sudden orders. As my Thalmor half pushes for acquiescence, my human half stops the words from leaving my open mouth. Instead, after a moment of struggling with it, I shake my head.
 
“Sir? I believe I’ve developed a good relationship with Svanna. I don’t think-!”
 
“I could care less what you think, Mage. Your… ‘visions’ led you to me, did they not? Because you knew, in the end, that your best bet of getting what you wanted was through me. As a representative of the Thalmor, I can send you with a letter of recommendation to Ambassador Elenwen. Along with the Dragonborn, it will assure you a place within our ranks.”
 
He pauses, and then glares at me.
 
“Well? Get to it!”
 
He’s so used to being obeyed… and I’m so used to following orders. Except that’s not entirely true. Only half of me is used to following orders. The other half of me is quite the free spirit by comparison. The way Ancano is talking though… I can’t help but twitch. And in that moment, I find common ground between my two selves. They both… they both want to know something.
 
Before Ancano can react, I cast the Charm Spell on him. His eyes widen, and he clearly sees it coming, but he can’t even get a Ward up in time before the effect washes over him. It’s probably one of my more powerful castings of the spell, but then, I need it to be. I can always… fix things afterwards. He’ll never know I did anything to him, if I play it right.
 
As Ancano’s eyes glaze over and he stands there on the ramparts, swaying back and forth in a deep, deep trance, I lick my lips.
 
“Advisor… tell me, now that I’ve told you of it, what is the Eye of Magnus to you?”
 
“… It will be the instrument of my ascendancy, of course. With it, my ambitions will be realized.”
 
On the face of it, that wasn’t entirely unexpected. But…
 
“What about the Thalmor? Should it not be shared with your superiors back home? Should the knowledge of this discovery not be brought to the attention of the Dominion?”
 
Here, despite being under incredibly powerful Illusion Magic, Ancano still manages to scrunch his face up in an angry scowl.
 
“Of course not! The Thalmor do not reward such servile behavior. If you want to get anywhere in the Dominion, you must reach out and take the opportunities presented to you! With what you claim of this artifact, the Eye of Magnus will assure me a seat on the Council!”
 
… Ancano was not truly loyal to the Thalmor. He was only loyal to himself and his own ambitions. The Aldmeri Dominion was little more than the vehicle by which he would ascend to greater and greater heights. Of course, I could have told myself that. I KNEW from the game what a selfish, loathsome toad Ancano was.
 
I just hadn’t allowed myself to believe it. I had refused to accept that the lens through which I’d been shown him, that of the video game, was true to the actual Mer himself. Surely there had to be more to him. Surely, Ancano would at least be loyal to the institution who’s uniform he wore.
 
Feeling an odd mixture of vindicated and disillusioned, I stand there for a moment, unsure of what to do now. It was clear that Ancano didn’t deserve my loyalty, and that was certainly a relief to finally be able to say without starting an argument with myself. But what was I supposed to do with him?
 
Another twinge hits me, and I frown as I think back to how he’d talked about Svanna.
 
“Advisor… what did you mean when you said I’d brought you gifts? I hadn’t even told you about the Eye yet. Why… why did you wish for me to bring you Svanna before sending her to the First Emissary?”
 
Here, Ancano’s face goes from a ferocious scowl to a wide, wicked smile in less time than it takes me to blink. As he sways back and forth, still under the effects of the heavy Charm Magic I’m using on him, the Elemental Mage makes his desires quite clear.
 
“I’ve never tasted a Dragonborn before. I thought to sample her body, as you no doubt have, before having you bring her to the Ambassador. This Dragonborn… she’s certainly a delicious morsel, for all that she’s a Nord. An unfortunate handicap, but not an insurmountable one. I would have enjoyed a night with her, before-urk!”
 
Even I don’t realize I’m moving until I’ve already done it. Suddenly, I’m no longer standing across from Ancano. Suddenly, I’m right in front of him, one of my swords drawn and plunged through his chest. For a moment, we stare at each other. Then, his eyes slowly move down to where I’m impaling him with a blade, and I realize that my attack has broken the Charm Effect.
 
Just as lightning is sparking from his fingertips, I bring my other sword around, even though I didn’t remember drawing it. As I yank my first blade back, it makes just enough space between us that my second blade shears right through his neck. As his head flies from his shoulders, my foot comes up and kicks his stomach, finally allowing me to pull the rest of my first sword from his chest.
 
Ancano’s decapitated body stumbles backwards from the kick… and then topples back over the edges of the ramparts. Both his body and his head drop over the edge, falling, falling, and falling into the sea down below.
 
I just stare at the spot where the Thalmor Representative had been stood for a long moment, before looking down at my blood-covered blades in shock. What… what had I done?

-x-X-x-

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