Demon World Boba Shop: A Cozy Fantasy Novel

Chapter 194: Candidate Speeches



“Under my reign, steel would gleam brightly in the sun, warning away any beasts or monsters who might seek to harm our people. The streets themselves would flow with molten iron, available for any demon to dip and mold as they might like.” Milo was stomping around the stage like a maniac, doing a good job of cheering the audience up. “And also, I’d institute free sandwich Tuesdays, funded by the Coldbrook government in furtherance of full bellies and happy hearts.”

“Ooh, that sandwich thing is actually a nice touch,” Spiky said. “Not the way he’s describing it, but some sort of incentive to try new restaurants might actually be helpful.”

As luck would have it, Arthur found himself sitting directly by Spiky, who was dutifully taking notes on every word that came out of any candidate’s mouth, even Milo’s. They were both in attendance, listening to the first batch of candidate speeches.

“Is this okay?” Arthur was laughing, but it did seem a bit much. “He’s making a mockery of the whole thing. What if people vote for him?”

“They won’t.” Mizu shook her head between laughs. “Don’t worry. People often run as a joke. It’s a sort of tradition.”

“She’s right. It’s the fun part.” Lily was across the table, tearing into an enormous chunk of meat on her plate like she hadn’t eaten in weeks. “I don’t think I’d know anything about elections if it wasn’t for the funny ones. They make it easier to sit through these things.”

“Every house, friends, should have no less than ten daggers in it. And no more than ten spears. If I am elected, the number of war swords in a home will be five. No more, no less. It’s mandatory. No, I don’t care where you keep them. And no, Coldbrook will not buy you a weaponry shed.” Milo thumped the lectern in front of him, hard. “Just put them under the couch or something, people.”

“Isn’t that too many? That’s twenty-five weapons in every house!” Arthur yelled. It was acceptable to ask clarifying questions and this seemed like the time.

“Fifteen bladed weapons, Arthur. I haven’t even got to war hammers, or flails. People of Coldbrook, my leadership will lead to a world where you can’t even open a closet without dodging all the weapons that cascade out of it. I want them everywhere. Even in your bathrooms, you will be armed…”

Milo continued on for a while. The town whooped in laughter and asked questions as his proposals got more and more intense. By the time he got around to suggesting sealing Arthur in an iron box as part of a former-mayor preservation system, people were out of laughs. Milo seemed to take the hint once the easy smiles waned, and started winding up.

“In conclusion, Coldbrook, I’m the candidate who glistens. I’m the candidate who brings the strength of steel to your sofas, the power of bronze to your very bedspreads. I’m the person who might very well weight your eyelids with lead so that you might never see ugliness, or fill your ears with brass to blot out the terrifying rumble of thunder.”

“Is Milo scared of thunder?” Arthur asked. “Like, actually?”

“Shh, Arthur. My husband is talking,” Rhodia said. “And he’s about to unveil his new slogan.”

“I should have never told you about that.”

“Shush. Here it comes.”

“People of Coldbrook, vote Milo. Together, we’ll forge a new path forward.”

“That’s the worst.” Arthur grimaced.

“Quiet. It’s not done.”

Milo made as if to turn away from the lectern, then suddenly turned back.

“I mean that literally. I want to make a metal road. Coldbrook, goodnight.”

The crowd cheered as Milo came down to sit with his friends. His speech had come at the perfect time in the night, just as people started to sag from listening to heavier, more serious policy plans and just before the second half of speeches kicked off. He had brought life back to the whole thing, something that wasn’t necessarily easy to do.

“So how did I do?” Milo asked Rhodia, faux serious. “Am I going to get elected?”

“No doubt.” Rhodia kissed him on the cheek. “We will rule this place together, poorly.”

“It really wasn’t bad, Milo,” Arthur said. “I laughed a bunch. It was fun.”

“Well, good. Who’s up next?”

“That’s me.” Opel stood up, looming huge over the table. “Wish me luck. And thanks for the lead-in, Milo.”

Opel’s speech, unlike Milo’s, was serious. He was a real option for the town, someone who had built a good portion of the town with his own hands and though he wasn’t Karra, he would still have his hands in almost any large-scale construction that happened from now on. Having that kind of connection to the town’s construction would give him unique interactions with the mayor menu that other people just wouldn’t have. Eventually, the town’s defenses would be harder and its buildings would be very slightly more durable.

“Hi, everyone. There are lots of new people but I think I’ve met everyone by now.” The crowd cheered. Most knew of Opel at least in passing. “Good. I’m not great at talking, but if we’re all friends already, that makes it easier. I’m going to try and keep this simple, so listen up.”

Opel launched into rough history of the town from the time he arrived to the present. He explained how he had corrected minor problems with the houses the non-builders had already slapped up, expedited labor, and eventually worked to build a road that connected Coldbrook to the rest of the Demon World.

“So that’s how I got here. And I want to talk a bit about how I see this going from here. Either way, I’m going to be in charge of a lot of this building, and I wanted you to know how I’m going to handle it.”

“He’s good.” Milo nodded as Opel talked. “It’s a shame he isn’t really trying to win.”

“He’s not? Could have fooled me.” To Arthur’s ears, it sounded like Opel was making a real go at it. “He’s doing great.”

“Yeah. But he already told the other stampers and construction folks not to vote for her. He kept it quiet, but he can’t win without them.”

“Why? Why not get their vote?”

“Because he doesn’t want to do the job.” Milo nodded at the cook who set down a plate in front of him and began to dig in. “But this is the best opportunity he’s going to have to remind the town how important the builder’s work is, and to let everyone know what’s coming up next. He doesn’t want to be mayor when Karra’s not running. And Karra would go crazy if she actually had to handle a tenth of the people-work being mayor takes. This way, everyone knows someone’s keeping an eye out on labor-related things.”

“I’m thinking we’ll run out of buildable room within the canyon within the year. When that happens, we’ll have to start thinking about the wall differently. Lily?” Opel said on stage as he nodded at Lily, who unfurled a large piece of paper showing a map of the town, complete with mysterious half-circle lines radiating out from the mouth of the town, spaced out from each other as they got further and further from the town proper.

“As new people show up, I don’t want to tell them that their houses and businesses are closer to the wall and more in danger than our houses, just because we came first. The construction crew, led by Karra, plans to build three more walls ahead of any new construction we make, as long as we need it. Now, to keep this going…”

Opel spent another twenty minutes talking about the construction plans, which made good sense in an earthy, almost inarguable way. By the time he was done, the town was nodding along. They’d build more walls than they needed, which would mean putting money out in advance of use they’d get from it and defending a bigger wall than they needed to. But it also meant that any newcomer could feel just as safe as the original settlers, which was exactly how the town should feel. Arthur thought so, anyway.

One more person talked that night, a stationer who was one of the few merchants representing the crafter and merchant class of mayoral candidates. She was good, Arthur thought, and would have made a fine mayor. That said, he doubted she would win. Where knowledge was in play, she brought less to the table than Spiky or even Opel, each in their own way. She seemed to know that too. Arthur made a point to himself to talk to her later and let he know he had enjoyed it. She clearly knew her stuff, and he had a few ideas for his business that came as a benefit from listening to her.

After all was said and done, Milo was swept away from his friends by demon after demon who had enjoyed his speech and wanted him to know exactly how much. Rhodia went with him, basking in the pride of being married to a guy everyone especially liked. Lily went with Opel to go hand out with the stampers and construction people, while Spiky excused himself to go organize his thoughts and take notes on what everyone else had said.

That left Arthur and Mizu, which suited him just fine.

“Are you ready to go? I had something to show you,” Arthur asked.

“Of course.” Mizu quirked an eyebrow. “A surprise?”

“Just a small one,” Arthur said. “But something you’ll like, I promise.”

They strolled through the town for a bit, listening to the laughter and conversation from the plaza get quieter and quieter as they neared Arthur’s house. A few dozen steps out, Mizu stopped fully in the road and looked down at her feet. Arthur understood why.

“Still not used to them?”

“I might never be used to these shoes, Arthur. I would have never bought them for myself and they improve everything.”

“Literally everything, right? They just make everything better at all times. It’s the best money I ever spent, besides that first coin I gave to Lily to hire her on.” Having reached the porch, Arthur reached up and unlatched the door. “I don’t know if anything will ever beat that.”

Mizu looked at the couch as if asking whether or not she should sit for whatever surprise Arthur had planned. He nodded and she crossed the room and sunk into the cushions with a sigh.

“I wanted to ask you about her,” Mizu said.

“About Lily?”

“Well, about you and her.” Mizu reached down to unlace her footwear. Enchanted or not, she wasn’t a shoes inside-the-house person. “Nothing important. I suppose I’m just wondering how you feel about how she’s doing. You are sort of her… what do you call it?”

“We don’t really call it anything. A guardian, I guess. I’m sort of half a father, half a brother, and half… something. It’s not a relationship that has a name.”

“Well, whatever. Do you think she’s doing well?”

“I think so,” Arthur said. “I try to remember that she lost so much before she met me. She almost never talks about it, but she spent a long time alone. I think on Earth, people would be happy if she was just functional. And she’s definitely more than that.”

“She’s doing what she wants.”

“She is. Mostly.” Arthur made a sort of noncommittal nodding motion with his head as he opened his coldbox and extracted a couple large, covered plates. “I think if she was really doing what she liked, she’d just be at the shop all the time. And I can’t let her do that.”

“Why? She loves it.”

“She does. But she’s young. She needs me, and I’m glad to be there for her. She should be able to rely on me. But it’s sort of wrong for me to rely on her. I think.” Arthur set the plates on the table and sat down. “Even if it was entirely what she wanted, it just feels like my job to make sure she learns enough to make real decisions about how she lives her life. It’s like the mayor candidate speeches. Even if she ends up voting to spend her time with me, she should at least still listen to what else life had to say.”


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