Down With The Gods

“I still can’t control my dasheeesss,” Wyn complains, switching back to his previous outfit.

“Don’t worry too much. I’ll help you land safely,” Anish consoles, now back in his beach outfit.

“How far to the village? There’s literally nothing here, eh,” James asks, swapping back to his preppy, my-dad-is-rich outfit.

“According to the map, a few kilometers,” Anish replies.

“In retarded units, please,” James begs.

“You claim to have gone to a prestigious school, and yet you can’t do simple conversions!” Wyn mocks.

“Your leader is a jerk,” James mutters.

“He’s a smart jerk,” Yu adds.

“Yeah? He’s also an asshole.”

“A lovable asshole,” Anish chimes in.

“You guys aren’t helping…,” Wyn sighs.

James continues grumbling about boredom as the group treks through the quiet path. The walk to the village from the docks is uneventful – just neatly trimmed green grass and scattered trees. Yu, still proudly wearing the king of pirates costume, leads the way while Christine trails quietly behind. Then, at last, the village comes into view.

But it’s not what they expected. There are no houses, just a long, tall wooden fence enclosing the area. Two entrances, one to the north and one to the west, are marked by wooden arches with blank signs hanging beneath. Beyond the fence, nothing is visible. As they pass under the arch, each of them hears a short, single beep.

“Human skeletons???” Wyn exclaims.

The village is inhabited by the original human-shaped grim reapers, each wearing a cloak in varying colors – mostly black, brown, or red. They aren’t holding the signature scythes, and their hoods are down, revealing their most bizarre feature: instead of skeletal heads, they have television screens. One reaper approaches the group, typing something on its screen, letter by letter.

“¡Hola! Soy Dora. ¿Has visto un gato por aquí?” the reaper asks.

“Lo siento, no hablo Taco,” Wyn responds.

“¡Puta mierda!” the reaper types before walking off, looking distressed.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“You speak Taco?” Mira asks.

“Sí, pero muy poco.”

“I can too! You just said something about a smartphone brand, right?” Yu says.

“Definitely not that…,” Wyn replies. “That one was Dora…so they have names?” he muses.

“I wonder if Dora has a gender? Or should I say 'genders'?” Mira wonders.

Wyn and Mira approach another reaper named Scotty, bombarding him with questions. Poor Scotty doesn’t know any answers and starts crying, typing out a “T_T” on his screen before displaying the blue screen of death. Remembering Catati’s warning not to provoke the reapers, they awkwardly retreat. Meanwhile, a group of stranger souls asks Yu, Anish, and James for help translating another reaper’s message:

“01101110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101110 01101110 01100001 00100000 01100111 01101001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110101 01110000 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101110 01101110 01100001 00100000 01101100 01100101 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100100 01101111 01110111 01101110.”

Yu turns to James, hoping a rich smart kid might be able to figure it out. Unfortunately, James knows nothing about programming. At this point, Wyn is befuddled.

“What’s the point of this place? Why are the grim reapers here?” Wyn wonders aloud.

Luckily, a crowd gathers around one particular reaper, Karen, who seems to be the only sane one in the village. With a barrage of questions thrown Karen’s way, the reaper calmly answers each one.

After Heaven and Hell split, both sides delegated soul collection to a special group: the grim reapers. Unable to reproduce, the reapers recruited new souls from the deceased. The process of turning a soul into a reaper involved intense burning by a special fire created by the Dark Lord, marking the beginning of their bond with Hell. Eventually, the human skeletal reapers were deemed inefficient and replaced by reaper cats. Since then, Hell has been overseeing the production of the new reapers, granting Hell the first selection of freshly collected souls before Heaven, as long as the process adheres to their agreement based on each soul's faith at the time of death. With no place to go, the original reapers were given refuge on this island by Hell. The special fire is no longer available, meaning these reapers are the last of their kind.

Wyn notices that Karen has the ability to use contractions on her screen. She explains that the nerds who worked on their language capabilities were from a different team than the ones who worked on the cats’. Originally, the reapers communicated with each other in an alien language inaudible to souls. To facilitate communication with the nerds, they implemented a text-based system.

“So…how does one provoke you original reapers into a fight?” Wyn asks.

“By attacking us first.”

“Ummm, not to be rude, but how do we identify your gender? I don’t see, you know, anything down there,” Mira asks.

“By the size of the pelvis.”

“Pelvis? The singer?” Mira seems confused.

“Anyhow, can any of you do us a favor and take these cultists off the island?”

Close to the shamali tree glass dome, a group of beige bathrobe-wearing souls gathers. A soul, seemingly the leader, stands, giving a speech while the rest sit, listening. With Karen leading Wyn and the crowd to them, the leader reacts.

“Welcome! Join us and we’ll give you a bathrobe! Only Faith welcomes you!”

The crowd falls silent, staring at each other in confusion. The leader claims that the cult members were put in Hell as a test of faith by that guy in Heaven. They believe this is a punishment for straying from their faith in the last moments spent on Earth.

“If you pray and repent for your sins, you will be forgiven one day.”

“Has anyone ever been ‘saved’ yet?” Wyn asks.

“Not yet, but soon!”

“Why can’t you just kick them out yourselves? You’re powerful, right?” Wyn asks Karen.

“We aren’t allowed to lay a finger on anyone without being laid a finger first.”

While the other souls politely ask the Only Faith to leave the island, Wyn pulls James aside. After much bickering as usual, James gives in. From his band, James delves into the purchase menu. Upon pressing a button, elevator music plays from his band, attracting attention. Soon after, portals open from the ground. A group of demon cats appears.

“The Purrformeow have arrived!” one of the cats announces.

The music group consists of two singers, one male and one female. The remaining ten mimic instruments and beats. For fifty catnips, they sing five songs.

“Excuse me, but we’re…,” the Only Faith leader says.

The singers interrupt with the first song:

Old MacDonald was our slave, S-L-A-V-E,

And on that farm we whipped him well, W-H-I-P,

With a whip whip here and a whip whip there,

Here a whip, there a whip, everywhere a whip whip.

The crowd boos at the cats, complaining that their teeny voices aren’t fit for singing or anything musical. The singers are annoyed, but for catnips, they have to keep their calm. Then comes the second song:

Our cat milk brings all the souls to the yard,

They like, it’s better than yours,

Damn right, it’s better than yours,

More boos follow, with some wanting to throw up at the sight of the female vocalist squeezing her cat nipples. However, Wyn is more intrigued by the cats’ ability to sing in contractions.

“The nerds programmed the lyrics into our brains. We do not have control over what comes out of our cute mouths.”

“That doesn’t make any sense…”

Then the third song follows:

But I set fire to your brain

Watched it blaze as I clawed your face,

Well, it burned and I cried,

Laughing tears in my eyes without mercy,

Mercy,

The audience is silent this time. The lyrics are so graphic that they’re too concerned for their own safety to voice an opinion. The next song is unaltered:

I push my fingers into my eyesss,

Even with that specific name altered to “Cheesus” in the lyrics, Wyn gives the cats a standing ovation for their song choice. Yu takes note of Wyn’s music preferences, planning to one day persuade him to sing for the team. For the final song, Wyn requests his favorite, "One More Light.” At first, James protests, claiming the right to choose the song since he paid for the session. However, Yu, Mira, and Anish quickly restrain James, covering his mouth and shushing him. This is the first time the team witnesses Wyn’s enthusiasm for music. Although he would prefer better vocalists, Wyn enjoys the song, listening to it with his eyes closed.

The Purrformeow bow and leave after the last song. The crowd disperses, as do the Only Faith cultists. Karen thanks Wyn for his effort in chasing the fanatics away, though she knows they’ll return to the same spot in a matter of time. James is upset; he believes Karen should thank him instead. During the team’s discussion about their next destination, Wyn catches a glimpse of a familiar figure heading toward the north gate. Wyn signals the team to follow.

“Redhead! What are you doing here?” Wyn yells.

“Looks like we’ve been found. Can we talk somewhere more private?”

The accompanying young person opens a portal for everyone to enter, and they arrive in an empty void space.

“You are the Dark Lord, or Force, or whatever your name is. And you! Pete?” Wyn says.

“WATTT? H@#4)$(%&*@#_!” Yu is at a loss for words, along with the rest of the team and even Christine.

The Dark Force and Pete visited the village to discuss the Only Faith fanatics with the reapers. The reapers wanted them removed, their patience running thin. The two promised to return with a solution.

“How are you not chubby?” Wyn asks Pete.

“It’s still in beta. I volunteered to test the ability to choose our appearances from any point in our lives. Needless to say, there’s a problem, and I’m stuck in this younger version of myself.”

Anish glares at Pete with jealousy, wishing he could be stuck in his younger physique. That said, the Dark Force and Pete need to get moving to investigate a “scam operation” allegation. Before they leave, they allow each team member to ask a question as a reward for spotting them. Everyone thinks hard.

“I have too many questions, but why didn’t you just create more moderators and send them to war instead of us souls?” Wyn asks.

“Many of the questions can be answered by the AI. This one is not among them, so I’ll answer,” the Dark Force says, still smiling.

Creating an entity as strong as a moderator expends the Dark Force’s energy. Though he regains energy, it may take a long time to fully recover. Not knowing when Heaven will attack could put Hell’s leader at risk. The answer raises more questions for Wyn, but his turn is over.

“Why are you all red when your name is Dark Force?” James asks.

“Nice one!” Wyn compliments.

A divine entity that can create life is called a “Life Force.” The name Dark Force implies possession of the dark element, while the so-called “Heaven King” is the Light Force, or the force of the light element. These two elements combined created Earth. As for the color red, it’s simply the Dark Force’s favorite color.

“Dark and light elements? What the heck?” Wyn asks.

“You’ve already asked,” the Dark Force replies with the same smile.

“Ummm…why is there just a generic guitar? Where are the brands?” Yu asks.

“WHAT? WHY, YU? WHY?!” the whole team complains.

“I’ll have to let Pete answer that for you.”

According to Pete, Hell hasn’t been focusing on music. The nerds, busy searching for others like themselves, often overlook those with talents beyond computers and coding. Yu seems satisfied with this answer.

“Errr, can you, like, give me more time to think?” Christine pleads.

“I’m sorry, no. That was a question. Next one please,” the Dark Force says, not changing his expression.

“Wait! I just, like, got it! Like, what do you think of those who, like, read and write sexual fantasies about you?”

Everyone gasps in surprise and shock.

“You’ve already asked. Next person please.”

“Then I’ll ask her question,” Anish says.

“Straight to the third floor to be tortured for their crimes along with the most prolific criminals. You can have some fun torturing them to your liking once you join the elites,” he answers with a bigger smile.

“Define ‘fun’...,” Wyn says, but receives no reply.

“Alright, here we go. What I’ve been seeking this entire time. Where is my sister, Lisa?” Mira asks, describing her sister’s appearance.

“I’ll have the nerds locate her if she’s still around. They’ll send you a message,” Pete replies, after scanning her band with his.

With the last question answered, Pete opens a portal for Wyn and team to return to the lobby of campsite number seven, per their request. Their encounter with the Dark Force and Pete leaves everyone shaking, unsure of how to feel. Inside Wyn’s tent, Mira anxiously awaits Pete’s message. The rest of the team is also anxious, especially Wyn, to the point he forgets about the AI he can now afford. Suddenly, a message pops up on Mira’s screen.

“Hi Mira, this is Nerd Heather. We received a request from Pete to locate Lisa, Lee-Seul Choi. I’m glad to inform you that we’ve found her! We’ve asked Cateti of campsite number twelve to keep her there for you. Visit her when you’re ready!”

Mira bursts into tears. Wyn and Yu hug her tightly, recalling the first time they met.

“This is it, Mira! You’re about to meet your sister!” Wyn says, tearing up as he speaks.

And with that, the team, along with the temporary member James, makes their way to campsite number twelve. Mira’s eyes widen as she bursts into tears again, but this time at the sight of her little sister, Lisa.