Down With The Gods

Mira’s change into a sexy red and black devil costume without headwear prompts Yu to switch into a dark red sweater with no shirt underneath and brown shorts.

“Woah, Wyn! Why do you look like death itself?” Anish asks, referring to Wyn’s evident lack of sleep.

“Why indeed,” Wyn replies.

For the next twenty minutes or so, the team waits for Yu to convince Christine to come out of her tent. When she finally joins them, she remains silent, staring at the ground.

“Let’s explore Hell’s Ride,” Yu says with a smile.

“Do you, like, still want me on the team?” Christine asks.

“You’ve been helpful to our success so far. Whatever we heard from that guy, let’s just hope it wasn’t true,” Wyn says, maintaining serious eye contact with her.

Wanting to see the gate, the team makes its way to campsite number nine. There, Cateta, a cat with big fangs wearing black toy wings smiles at them. Normally, the team would consult a cat for advice before exploring. However, with Lisa around, they see no need. That said, Lisa insists they talk to her.

“What’s with the name, Hell’s Ride? Sounds scary,” Wyn asks, slightly drowned out by the sound of weeping souls in the lobby.

“Scary? Scary cute that is! Hell is not a scary word.”

“Okay…How strong do we need to be to breeze through this section?”

“Strong? You just need to be strongly cute! Over fifteen thousand should do.”

“Alright…Any other advice you want to give us?”

“Advice? Cute advice it is! Do not die!”

“Please, can we just leave this cat?”

Lisa gets a chuckle out of the short conversation. After changing the emergency exit destination to campsite number nine and stepping out, the team finds itself in an amusement park where everything is a dark red – the walls, the ground, the sky. The campsite itself, while the interior remains the same as other campsites so far, the exterior takes the shape of a very large carnival tent. Wyn sums up the atmosphere as “Greed’s Gambling Zone on depression.”

Rollercoaster tracks connect the campsites and main attractions within the area. Walking up a spiral set of stairs near the campsite brings the team up to the station. Inside and passing the currently empty waiting area, they arrive at the track where a hanging screen displays the exact arrival time of the next ride. The tracks are a series of open, metal rail-like structures with no solid floor beneath them.

“The system is known as the rolling coaster. If this is your first time, I pray you…,” Lisa says, before being interrupted by a bright blue spherical pod.

“Why is there a two minute timer on the windows?” Wyn asks, pointing to the windows on the other side as the pod’s door opens.

“It’s how much time we souls have to get off and on the pod before the door closes. Better hurry!”

As the door closes, a recorded demon voice asks for the destination. The windows in the pod then transform into a map. To select a destination, simply announce aloud the name or press it on the map twice. Souls have thirty seconds to make up their mind, or else the pod will bring them to the nearest station to the left of the current station.

“For your safety, take a seat, blah blah. We are taking off in ten, nine, eight,...,” the voice announces, as Lisa selects Hell’s Ride Entrance Gate.

When seated, a long lap bar rises from beneath the floor to lock the passengers in place for each of the two long seats, which are positioned at the front and back of the pod.

“Good luck to you all,” Lisa says, holding onto Mira’s arm ever so tightly.

“Good luck?” Mira asks.

On launch, the pod rolls vigorously and rapidly without needing to accelerate. Needless to say, everyone feels the force. Not even Wyn’s cyclones have prepared them for this. The only time the pod comes to a temporary halt is when it needs to wait for other pods ahead or behind, much like metro trains. Each turn is fierce and exhilarating as the pod hurtles along the open rails, driven by its relentless rolling force, never slowing down as it takes every curve with unyielding speed. To Wyn, riding the dragon is nothing compared to the nauseating experience of this ride. While his eyes closed, he can hear Anish next to him, fervently praying to one of his crabcakes. What was supposed to be a ten-minute ride feels like an eternity.

“Get off, you weak sauces,” a soul yells.

Wyn opens his eyes to see that he has arrived at another station, where a group of souls are waiting in line impatiently for him and his team to get off. Anish quickly kisses the floor as soon as he steps out of the pod. Christine clings to Yu for balance. James trips over his own feet and falls. Mira and Lisa help each other out of the pod. The team rests near the stairs, trying to ride out the nausea.

“You’re still not used to this?” Yu asks Lisa.

“She used to get motion sickness so easily,” Mira explains.

Out of the blue, Mira recalls the time she first encountered Wyn and Yu on the third level. She starts recounting the story of how she met the two and ended up joining them, forming a squad that began with just three members. She chuckles as she remembers Wyn’s impressive faceplant from a station, still covering his junk, and how quickly he bounced back.

After a long rest, they climb down the stairs, marching for the entrance gate. Yu and Mira notice how strangely happy Wyn appears to be, humming and smiling.

“Something’s wrong with you,” Yu remarks.

“Me? Well, this is it. This is our team. It’s complete!”

Yu and Mira join Wyn, arms wrapped around his neck, skipping happily until they reach the rather disappointing gate. The gate stretches out with a series of entrance arches connected side by side along its length. Crafted from thin, weathered metal, the gate shows signs of age, its surface tainted by rust and wear. Green vines weave through the arches and drape over the metalwork. The other side of the gate reveals the Haunted Forest. According to Lisa, the sea from the Mystical Land will be visible if they move into the direction of the shalmali tree. Dreaded to take another pod ride, the team decides on its next destination.

To enter an attraction in Hell’s Ride, a soul must meet the minimum essence count shown at the entrance. With their current counts, Wyn and team should be able to enter most. Some attractions are free of creatures, but they may require payment in catnips instead. Unfortunately, there aren’t any attractions near the entrance or any of the campsites – they must endure another ride. Lisa recommends that they start their journey in the middle Hell’s Ride, where there are plenty of options to choose from.

On the way back to the station, Anish mentions that he wishes to visit Cateto to show him his progress.

“That reminds me, we haven’t visited the cat at campsite number eight yet!” Yu says.

“Catute? He’s always sleepy and drools all over the place, if you’re curious, Mister Yu,” Lisa replies.

“Let’s get on with Hell’s Ride. We can visit any cat we want after it,” Wyn adds.

Another ride, another horror – this time lasting merely an hour. At this point, Wyn would prefer nightmares over enduring another pod ride.

“Please take me out of my misery,” James moans as he exits the pod.

After recovering for a while, the team heads down to the central station, known as Mid Ride. The rolling coaster rails converge, forming a dome at this station. Buildings and attractions seem to sprout around the open rails, their structures weaving in and out of the exposed metal framework. As the rails rise and twist, the emerging structures blend seamlessly with the ride’s path. Souls are seen entering and exiting the attractions, some mourning the losses of their comrades.

To avoid the crowd, Lisa leads the way to Wyn’s least favorite attraction at any theme park, the haunted house. As someone who could watch a scary movie all by himself, his stomach is surprisingly too queasy for first-person horror games and haunted houses.

“Eek! A noble worm!” Lisa suddenly screams.

A wiggling worm that resembles a piece of healthy dark brown excrement appears in front of Lisa while on the way to the haunted house. Without hesitation, she summons a large, all-black square-shaped device mounted on her shoulder. The weapon features a sturdy handle and has four holes positioned closely together at the front. For wider coverage, the holes can be extended outward using an adjustable mechanism, allowing each to fire independently. Surrounding the central area of the square weapon are four relatively small round barrels capable of launching homing projectiles.

Taking aim by looking a short distance ahead, Lisa fires electrifying lasers from all four holes, obliterating the one-essence harmless worm.

“She has the same bloodlust as you,” Yu says, gulping.

“Outta girl! That’s my baby sister!” Mira cheers.

“No wonder you’re such a monster in bed, Mira. Those glowing eyes of yours – dayummm!” James remarks, drawing an angry stare from Anish.

Every time Lisa spots a noble worm, she goes through the same steps to eliminate it. Christine, currently holding Yu’s hand, isn’t amused. She groans quietly as her faith in Lisa being the most normal member vanishes quicker than Mira dodging Anish’s grasp back in the Twilight Forest.

“Let’s see if this is better than the Haunted Forest,” Wyn says as the team arrives at their destination.

“Sorry to correct you, Mister Wyn, but it’s ‘haunting house’, not ‘haunted house’.”