Dragon God’s System

I cocked an eye at him as I popped the last mushroom into my mouth. For some reason, I was starting to get a suspicion that the chieftain just might want to get rid of the outsider wyrmling who had shown uncanny intelligence. After all, the chieftain was taking a newly hatched kobold to a dangerous place and leaving me on my own. 

Was he feeling threatened by my massive brain? Was he feeling inferior? Smirking, I nodded to myself. That was probably the case. I mean, just look at my intelligence stat. How could someone not be intimidated by such a high attribute score? 

However, now wasn’t the time to be thinking about such things. Judging from what he had said, the chieftain wasn’t going to be sticking around either. I was actually having second thoughts about staying there myself. Maybe I could just practice by myself in some tiny little cave that could be called my new apartment. 

I was starting to feel more exposed than when I went out to my car in the middle of the night wearing only my bathrobe and accidentally locked myself out of the house. I ended up having to drive to a family member’s house to get a key. They even had the audacity to ask if I was on drugs. 

Huffing, I snarled and looked for an outlet for my frustration. There had to be a rock or something I could throw around. Then again, that didn’t work out well for me in my previous life either. I remember getting mad one day as a kid and deciding to throw a brick at one of those nets that baseball pitchers used to practice throwing. Instead of knocking the net over, it bounced the brick back at my head. Unfortunately, I had been too close to react in time before it knocked me out.

“Maybe I should just focus on the present,” I muttered as I looked around and thought about my situation. As for crossing the bridge, that definitely wasn’t going to happen, at least me crossing it. As for other creatures, Dróttinn hadn’t said anything about creatures that didn’t need a bridge to cross, like spiders, lizards, and bats. 

Was the bridge trapped against bats flying over it? I mean, really? How paranoid and trap-happy did the kobolds have to be to trap a bridge against bats? Apparently, kobolds did have a different sense of what was considered safe compared to normal people.

After taking a look around as if to make sure no lurking dangers were visible, the chieftain said, “I’ll send someone by later to make sure that you are still alive. That person will take you to a recovery room, or your resting room, depending on your situation. He will also answer any questions that you might have. I’ll stop by to see you tomorrow morning.” 

With that, Dróttinn turned, but then paused before turning around again, “Welcome to the family,” he said before turning back around and leaving me alone, a newly hatched kobold wyrmling who wasn’t even a day old. I was tempted to make a joke about “tough love” but I felt it would hit a little too close to home.

I waved to his back, not even getting a chance to say, “Thank you,” or “What do you mean make sure I am still alive? And why was his first choice the recovery room?” I started to mutter to myself, “I knew I should have played it stupid. I had to stand out. Nope, can’t pretend to be like everyone else. Not me. No, I had to open my mouth again and again. Dang, maybe I should have been reincarnated as a centaur. Then I could be the centaur of attention.

“Wow, if they are that cavalier about the life of a winged kobold, kobolds without wings must have no value at all. Then again, maybe they are desensitized to loss of lives. From what I remember playing fantasy games online, kobolds were the trash mobs for low-level players. Well, this trash mob is going to become a god!”

After standing there for a few minutes trying to figure out just how deep of a hole I was in, pun intended, I decided to make the best of it. I wanted to try out my powers and might as well do it while I had the opportunity. “I guess testing my telepathy is probably not possible here,” I muttered to myself, “but I can easily try telekinesis.” With that, I looked for decent test material as I finished off the last piece of moss.

“Let’s start with something that doesn’t move, like a pebble.” Seeing a small stone, I concentrated on it and made a gesture with my hand as if picking it up. “Hehehehe,” I started chuckling gleefully as the stone rose into the air. As soon as I lost concentration after laughing, the rock fell down immediately. “Nice, let’s try something bigger.” I looked around for something else to pick up.

“Speaking of big things,” I said, looking down with a smirk. Then I panicked and felt around. “What the…”

THE FOLLOWING FEW MINUTES OF MONOLOGUE WERE REDACTED DUE TO GRAPHIC AND INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT. THE SYSTEM APOLOGIZES FOR THE INTERRUPTION.

After calming down, somewhat, I tried to come to terms with my situation. Nothing was certain, and even if it was, things could change. After all, I was in a magic world, and anything was possible. I seemed to have memories about shapeshifters who could alter their appearance and even kobolds who could become dragons. 

Still, I could deal with whatever came my way. As I said in my previous life, “I’m da man! Or at least I was da man previously. Now I’m a kobold who I sincerely hope has a wee-wee hiding inside me just waiting for the right time to come out. I guess you could say that I have reptile dysfunction. Ouch, that really sucked.” Then I broke down and cried that I might never get…

THE FOLLOWING FEW MINUTES OF MONOLOGUE WERE ALSO REDACTED DUE TO GRAPHIC AND INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT. THE SYSTEM APOLOGIZES FOR THIS INTERRUPTION AS WELL.

“Okay, calm down. Let’s think things through. The pride and joy of alligators and crocodiles are actually located in their bodies and only comes out when they mate. Yeah, maybe that is the case in my situation. Of course, being a newborn, maybe it would be hard to get it to come out. Nope, no more jokes about it being hard and coming out.

“Actually, that reminds me of something,” I muttered as I tried to access the ancestral memories. “Hmm, so baby kobolds don’t have a gender at first and later assume one as they grow. In fact, if there aren’t enough males or females, such as from the wrath of a genocidal dragon who was feeling hungry, kobolds can change gender. Uh, okay,” I said, blinking. 

Pushing such thoughts aside, I decided to deal with that later when I was a little older. After all, even if I didn’t have a pride and joy at the moment, I would get one later. “Yeah, there. Don’t worry buddy. You and I will be together again soon.”

I was finally able to concentrate on levitating the rocks again. I started with small pebbles and worked my way up to larger rocks. From what I gathered from ancestral memories, kobolds were small, between two to four feet tall. If that was the case, then I probably was on the shorter end, maybe around two feet tall. That would mean that I was about twenty pounds. Using that as a basis, the weight I could move around telekinetically was about half my weight, which would be about ten pounds. 

“Nice,” I said. “That is about half my body weight.” I tried to pick up the rock with just my kobold muscles and was surprised that I had no problem picking it up. As a human, picking up half my body weight would have been a struggle. Hmm, maybe kobolds are strong for their size. Judging by how easily I could pick the rock up, I estimated that I could probably pick up two to three times my body weight. 

“Dang,” I said, impressed. “Good things do come in small packages, despite what my ex-wife said.” Then I looked down again at my non-existent package and started crying again.

THE FOLLOWING FEW MINUTES OF UNRESTRAINED WEEPING, WAILING, AND WHINING WERE REDACTED DUE TO THE SYSTEM’S PITY FOR THE REINCARNATED KOBOLD, DESPITE HOW MUCH NOTTORMR HAS INSULTED THE SYSTEM. THIS IS BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT THE SYSTEM IS IN NO WAY STUPID AND IS ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDING ENOUGH NOT TO TAKE THE “SCREW YOU” COMMENTS PERSONALLY. BEING A CONSIDERATE SYSTEM WHO GAVE AS MUCH INFORMATION AS WAS NEEDED, THE SYSTEM AGAIN APOLOGIZES FOR THE REPEATED INTERRUPTIONS AS WELL AS THE OMISSION OF CERTAIN EVENTS.

“Okay, I’ve tested out the telekinesis. There isn’t anyone here that I can test my telepathy on, and the same goes for mind alteration. Let’s try eldritch bolt next then.” I looked around for a designated victim. “Hmm, the lizard will work I suppose,” I said after spotting a large lizard crouched on a rock.

Taking a pitcher’s stance, I reared back and made a throwing motion while yelling the words that appeared in my mind, “Fjölkyngi knǫttr!” A ball of magical energy went streaking through the air to hit the lizard, knocking it back several feet. Hearing a ding, I raised an eye at a new pop-up.

ACHIEVEMENT - TITLE UNLOCKED: NATURAL BORN KILLER. You are less than a day old and have already hunted down and killed another creature. You have gained additional Evil Favor. 

What? How is that fair? What about hunters? Are they evil? Where did this evil favor come from anyway? It doesn’t appear to be from a specific god. Does the title actually do anything? Do my other titles have any impact? Can they be turned off and on? Do they have any benefits? Or, worse, do they have any disadvantages?