Dragon God’s System

Worrying about others made me realize that I had forgotten about my familiar. That bothered me. I really should have checked on her the moment I woke up. Feeling a little guilty, I tried to sense her. A moment later, I realized that she was fine. In fact, she was busy snacking on different bugs near where we had met.

Her hunting down food gave me some inspiration. I wondered if I could get my familiar to slay a few weak creatures and gain some experience. Pleased with this thought, I sent her a mental command to seek out and kill a few weak monsters to see if I could receive any experience from the creatures she killed. Smiling, I looked forward to the free experience that might be coming my way soon.

While I was walking, I finally realized that I had forgotten about something else as well. I had been given two chances to start on an evolutionary path. Once was when I ate the obsidian. The second time was when I ate the invisible ring. Both times I ended up rejecting the evolutionary paths. However, maybe it was time to consider taking one. I did need to think about what would be the best evolutionary path though.

Because of this, I wasn’t in a hurry to decide anything. I would rather make sure I thoroughly remembered everything. While I was thinking, I also created a map in my mind as I wandered around. In fact, I was somewhat surprised by my ability to remember where I had been. In my previous life, I had gotten lost a lot. Perhaps not getting lost in a maze of caves was a kobold trait.

One of the first things I noticed was that my room was on the outskirts of the city. The outer tunnels were actually much larger in size than I would have expected. It was almost as if they were made for human-sized visitors. As I approached the inner areas of the city, the tunnels became smaller in diameter. 

Adult kobolds would be able to pass through the tunnels easily. In fact, they were still wide enough for two kobolds to pass by each other. However, the height of the tunnels started growing smaller. Normal humanoid races would have to hunch over. 

In addition to that, there were some strategic choke points which would require most humanoid races to crawl. Even dwarves would have to crouch when going through those points. There were also a few spots where there were rope bridges that could only support the weight of one or two kobolds at a time. 

However, unlike the outer areas, the center areas were much less heavily trapped. I guessed it because a lot of kobolds passed through the tunnels frequently and they didn’t want to risk unnecessary injuries.As I was thinking about this, I heard a waterfall in the distance. 

Since I didn’t have anything better to do, I decided to check it out. Soon, I found a beautiful sight. In fact, I wasn’t the only one who seemed to enjoy the sight. Numerous kobolds, both old and young, were relaxing in the water near the waterfall. Some of the younger kobolds were even having water splash fights. I paused, completely amazed at what I was seeing. Kobolds were being playful. They were having fun. I really hadn’t expected to see the sight in front of me.

In my imagination, I had expected kobolds to be slaving away in the mines in order to gather precious minerals to offer to their harsh draconic master. Then, after a long grueling day of labor, they would drag themselves back home to collapse. They would eat anything and everything, sentient or not. Every night before bedtime, the kobolds would tell horror stories about cruel adventurers who regularly invaded their city to slaughter them.

I really hadn’t explored the ancestral memories to find out more about kobold culture. Wondering what I might have missed, I watched the kobolds and connected what they were doing to the memories that surfaced. One of these was the fact that kobolds love taking baths. Then I realized why. At the furthest edge of the pool, I noticed something that almost sent me running back through the tunnels the way I had come.

Even though I had darkvision, that didn’t mean I could see as far as I could in sunlight. There was an apparent limit on the distance I could see. However, dim light from the bioluminescent fungi lining the walls gave the entire place an ethereal glow, casting long shadows that danced with every movement. It was these glowing fungi that allowed me to see what was happening on the far edges of the large pool. I wasn’t even sure it could be considered a pool. It was more like an underground lake.

The bathing pool, a huge natural hot spring, was filled with my fellow kobolds. Steam rose from the water’s surface, curling in lazy spirals toward the ceiling. The kobolds were playing in the water, splashing each other, their laughter ringing through the air. It was a scene of pure joy, a moment of reprieve from the harsh realities of our world. However, what made me pause was the fact that the back part of the pool was definitely not PG rated. It wasn’t even R rated.

As I watched from the entrance, I noticed that not all the kobolds were simply enjoying the water. Some were pressed close together, their movements more intimate, their tails intertwining beneath the surface. Others were more playful, splashing water on their companions before pulling them into a warm embrace. Those who hadn't found a partner yet were either cheerfully shouting encouragement to those who had or scanning the pool with hopeful eyes, looking for someone to “wash their back.” The steamy atmosphere seemed oddly appropriate. 

My small claws clicked against the stone floor as I backed out of the room. Although I would have enjoyed a hot bath, I couldn’t bring myself to stay. However, I did have trouble trying to push the thoughts of what I had seen out of my mind as I continued exploring the rest of the tunnels. While I was exploring, I tried to dredge up any more ancestral memories that might help me navigate the underground city.

The more I read from the memories, the more I realized kobolds embodied the principle of work hard and play hard. In fact, they played a little too much sometimes, especially in the bedroom. As for the eggs that resulted in all the playing, the eggs were part of the community and had nothing to do with the actual parents. 

They were like a communal swinger society. That wasn’t to say they didn’t have marriages. Kobolds did get married. They just weren’t faithful to each other. I wasn’t sure how they were able to make it work, but they did. In fact, divorce was almost unheard of in kobold society.

After walking for a while, I smelled something rank. Immediately, I realized I was near one of the animal pens. More than likely, it would be the dire weasels. Despite myself, I moved closer, feeling a need to at least look at the creatures. I was curious to see another animal that didn’t exist in my world.

Normal weasels were cousins to skunks. Like skunks, they could shoot out a thick, oily, yellowish fluid that reeked. Weasels were known as bloodthirsty mass murderers who needed to eat half their body weight every day. A small weasel could even take down animals that were ten times bigger than themselves by attacking the back of the creature's neck and severing the animal’s spinal cord.

I couldn’t imagine what a dire weasel would be like. As much as I was amazed that the kobolds were able to find enough food to feed everyone, I had to wonder how they had enough food to feed the dire weasels as well. Considering they were much larger, that would mean that each weasel would need a massive amount of meat to survive. Where did all that food come from?

Unfortunately, the memory bubbled up from the depths of my mind, making me regret ever asking that question. I almost wanted to gag at the thought of what I had eaten earlier. While there were mosses, ferns, mushrooms, algae, and lichens that grew in the caves, there were other sources of food as well. For example, there were some worms and beetles that loved bat guano. These were supposedly very delicious when cooked in a soup. 

Resisting the impulse to gag, I tried to concentrate on something else, the dire weasels for example. The dire weasels were even bigger than I thought they would be. That also stank more. What was equally surprising was their handler, who looked like a cross between a weasel and a kobold. 

Blinking, I realized that he must be one of those rare individuals like winged kobolds who was the child of a wereweasel. Lycanthropy wasn’t unknown in the kobold tribe. In fact, these individuals were actually respected since they could easily handle the dire weasels. These dire weasels were like the calvary of the kobold tribe.

The smell was unbearable. Unwilling to stay anywhere near the smell, I left immediately. While I wanted to go wash off the scent, I was also unwilling to return to the bathing pool. I hoped that the smell would fade away. I would hate to have the stench linger with me. 

Speaking of scents, I was releasing a few scents of my own. Whatever I had eaten had given me gas. Abruptly, I stopped when I realized with just how much I had eaten, I actually hadn’t needed to go to the bathroom until now. In fact, my belly was swollen, almost as if I was pregnant. Not wanting to relieve myself right there in the middle of a tunnel, I searched my ancestral memories for an answer. Where was the bathroom?

I was newly hatched and obviously an extremely young wyrmling. Because of this, those few kobolds who passed by gave me strange looks. I was a definite anomaly. A wyrmling my age was never left alone without a caretaker. Also, I was a black kobold with wings. Needless to say, each kobold glazed at me curiously whenever they saw me before making the flapping motions.

At first, I thought they were congratulating me for having wings. Either that, or they wanted me to flap my wings. Since I wasn’t sure, I flapped my wings for each kobold who made the “wings gesture.” Ancestral memories soon surfaced which explained the movement. 

It even had a name, vengr bifask. Basically, it was the way kobolds said both hello and goodbye. It was basically the kobold version of aloha but incorporating wing flaps to symbolize their connection to dragons. Finally, after starting to feel a lot of pressure, I caved in and stopped a passing kobold. 

Seeing a kobold coming my way, I decided to ask her for directions. Summoning my courage, I stepped forward. “Excuse me,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “I, uh... I’m lost, and I’m having a bit of trouble finding the bathroom. Could you help me?”

The kobold nodded, even though she obviously found my situation strange. “Of course! You’re not far away.” She pointed a claw toward a nearby passage. “Just head that way and take the second right. You’ll pass by the storage rooms. After that, you’ll find the pits. Do you need me to show you the way?”

“No thanks,” I said. “I really appreciate the help.”

“Don’t mention it,” she said with a light chuckle. “If you need any more help, just ask. It’s better than getting lost, right?” She then made the “wings gesture” before leaving.