48. Desire
The fork clanked as Sophia set it down on the plate, sighing.
«Please... never ever ask me to do a thing like this again...»
After swallowing the last bite of my breakfast, I began to giggle.
In the time we had spent together lately I had realized something:
"I love seeing her embarrassed."
Maybe it was because in our first encounters she had always been so serious and cold, this easily flustered side of her was one of my favorite things about Sophia.
"She's so adorable... she makes me want to mess with her."
I watched as she sat down at my small table, preparing to eat her breakfast.
"What else could I do..."
It was at that moment that I realized something.
"We are all alone... in my room."
If we didn't count yesterday, this was the first time we had been in such a situation since we had become a couple.
"Two lovers... in one room... we even slept in the same bed!"
Suddenly it was as if the temperature around me had risen several degrees.
Like the first time we spoke, in the great hall, my gaze was drawn to Sophia's face as she was intent on eating.
Her long eyelashes, her sharp emerald eyes, her pale cheeks without any imperfection, her sweet rosy lips marked by a small wound where she had bitten them yesterday, her slender neck that...
I leapt out of bed like a spring.
Sophia was startled by the sudden movement:
«What the hell...?!»
«I'm going to take a shower!»
"A cold one..."
«Um... okay?»
I fled into the bathroom, slamming the door and leaving a very confused Sophia behind.
"Again... I guess this is my punishment for trying to embarrass her."
I took off my pyjamas and let the cold water wash over me, shivering.
"What the hell is wrong with me... a little more and I would have jumped on her."
Were my emotions still unstable after what happened yesterday? That could have been the reason, but perhaps...
"First the thought of marrying her and now this... it's like I'm trying to rush our relationship..."
But who could blame me? After all, we were at the mercy of Skylark and his damn Academy. Our lives could end today...
"But I can't risk ruining everything by doing things too quickly."
Sophia seemed to panic over a simple kiss... if I forced her hand too much, I might have scared her away.
"She seems to like it very much when I kiss her though."
How would she have reacted if I had tried to do something... else?
"I think... she would let me..."
She was the one who had said it herself yesterday: she found it hard to say no to me. Although she acted tough, when it came to me she was a bit of a pushover.
"But that's another reason why I can't... I don't want to force her to do something she doesn't feel comfortable with."
In my mind, however, flashed a vivid image of Sophia's flushed face. She was underneath me, biting her lip as she usually did when she was trying to control herself.
I let out a small whimper as I clung to my knees in the shower.
«I don't want to die... before I have an experience like that... But how can I tell if she's really okay with it?»
Asking her out of the blue would definitely not have been romantic.
I would have preferred it to be more spontaneous.
"But... is Sophia really attracted to me in that way?"
I remembered Sophia's words to me when I had confessed my physical attraction to her:
"I... you must have noticed... lately I feel like I want to be as close to you as possible. When I hold your hand... it gives me a strange... pleasant feeling".
"She just said she liked being close to me... she didn't say she found me attractive..."
On second thought, although I had repeatedly told her I thought she was cute, she had never commented on my physical appearance.
"Maybe she doesn't like me that way...!"
I relaxed.
"I'm behaving as usual... I'm creating a thousand problems for nothing. I always have to remember what I decided yesterday... I owe it to Amy."
I felt a wave of melancholy.
"She would have had so much fun seeing Sophia and me in such a situation..."
But it was just one more reason not to waver.
"But how do I deal with something like this..."
I had to find a way to be more intimate with her.
"I need to be more proactive... but without overdoing it. But... I'm not at all capable of seducing someone... she would never take me seriously".
But maybe that was the point.
Maybe I just had to keep treating it as a game.
After all, part of me still wanted to make her pay for what she had put me through the week before.
"I'm going to push all her buttons and eventually make her lose her head over me," I thought as I dried myself.
Having put on my pyjamas, I returned to my room with a renewed sense of determination.
Sophia had finished her meal and seemed to be deep in thought.
«The bathroom is free if you want to use it,» I said.
«Huh? I already showered in my room.»
«How early did you wake up?»
«Very early. It's a habit I picked up in the army.»
«Oh... one day you'll have to tell me all about it...»
«If you really want to... but it's a pretty boring story. Ever since the Demon King was defeated, the army has mostly been dealing with small gangs of criminals. Other realms would never think about attacking ours.»
«I still want to hear it... anyway, I'll put on my uniform now and we can go and look around the school... you have a lot to tell me, I assume...»
Sophia nodded:
«That's right but... it's better if we talk in here. The school is full of guards right now. Maybe they're afraid of a breach in the defences after all the devastation Aldric has caused. Everything is still kinda in ruins.»
«All right, but I still don't want to stay dressed like this all day...»
"Let's see how she reacts..."
I approached the wardrobe, my heart pounding.
But before I could unbutton my pyjamas, I heard Sophia standing up behind me.
«Where are you going?»
«There's something I need to do... I'll be right back.»
«Look, I really don't mind you watching me change,» I said in a mischievous tone.
Sophia's pale cheeks immediately turned red:
«Y-you... what the hell is wrong with you!?»
«What's wrong with you! You're my girlfriend... there's no need to be embarassed about something like this.»
«I... idiot. That's... not... I really have to do something anyway!»
«...liar.»
«Whatever.»
Sophia ran off before I could tease her any further.
"Mmmh, I guess I'll take that as a win..."
After changing, I sat on the bed with my back against the pillow, hugging my knees.
There were so many things I wanted to ask Sophia. From why she had suddenly fainted to what had happened after I had lost consciousness.
Luckily, I didn't have to wait long.
After about ten minutes, I heard my door creak slightly.
"She's checking to see if I've changed..." I thought with a chuckle as I saw Sophia peeking through the gap she had made.
Sophia walked in as if nothing had happened and sat down in one of the chairs.
«So...» she began.
But I wasn't going to cut her any slack today.
«Why don't you come closer?»
«Huh?» Sophia exclaimed, looking at me confused.
«Here on the bed... with me.»
Her reaction to my words was exactly what I expected.
«This again? What is wrong with you today? First you want me to feed you your breakfast, then th-that other clothes thing, and now... this. Look, we've got serious things to talk about, this is no time for jokes,» Sophia scolded me, trying to regain her composure.
«I'll take it seriously. But while we're talking... can't we be closer? We're a couple and the time we can spend together like this may not be much... what's wrong with me wanting to be close to my girlfriend? Until the other day you were the one clinging to me... what's the problem now?» I countered.
«I-I...» Sophia's anger immediately faded as she hesitated to answer my questions, «since we're... a couple now... I'm a bit nervous. Last night... I was afraid I wouldn't get any sleep.»
"As I thought... I was right to hold back earlier."
Sophia was truly a delicate flower beyond all the walls she had built.
I didn't want to go back on my decision, but... I would try to treat her as gently as possible.
«Don't worry... it's normal to be nervous. But if you keep trying to stay at a distance... things will never get better. Yesterday you hugged me without a problem, right?»
«That... was because I felt you needed it and I wanted to help you...»
«Well Sophia, your girlfriend is really needy... so I will always want you to be close to me.»
Sophia looked at me for a moment and then...
The bed barely lowered as she sat on the very edge.
I couldn't help giggling:
«You know I don't have an contagious disease, right?»
Sophia sighed:
«Where am I supposed to sit then?»
I patted on the part of the mattress between my legs.
«...Elizabeth... you are truly sadistic... Do you get so much pleasure from torturing me?»
Sophia looked at me with a mixture of embarrassment and resignation.
«Yes! But that's not the point. Yesterday... you helped me so much.Today, let me spoil you a little...»
«Spoil me? What do you mean?»
«Only one way to find out!»
Sighing, Sophia raised the white flag. Doing her best not to look at me, and with a thousand hesitations, she sat down between my legs.
When I saw how stiff she was and how far her back was bent forward, I couldn't help but giggle again.
«Come here!»
I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her towards me, pressing her back against my stomach.
Surprised, Sophia began to wriggle like a fish out of water.
«Lean on me,» I whispered into her ear, trying to calm her.
Eventually, as I gently stroked her hair, her resistance began to fade.
«You're really unfair...»
«If you don't like it... I don't want to force you.»
«No. I-I... like it.»
Finally some honesty.
I waited a few minutes for Sophia to feel completely at ease. But maybe I was just hoping my heart would stop beating so fast.
"Maybe I'm the one being dishonest... if she was the one teasing me like this, I'd probably go crazy."
«So let's start from the beginning...» I began, doing my best to keep a straight face, «why did you suddenly faint after we defeated those three students?»
«Y-you remember what I told you before I blacked out?» Sophia replied, her tone still not firm.
«Something about your body not appreciating how you used your power... but that's what I'm asking, how the hell did you use your power? One second you were pinned against the wall and then... it's like you teleported behind the girl!»
«Well... that's basically it.»
«THAT'S BASICALLY IT?!» I repeated loudly, stunned.
«Don't shout so close to my ear!»
«I'm sorry... but what the hell? Since when can you teleport?»
«I told you I was looking for a way to get rid of my weakness for that fucking gravity spell, right? Well, this is the answer I found... if my power is useless from a distance... I'll just have to cut that too.»
«W-what you're saying doesn't make any sense at all!» I replied, struggling to find the words, «h-how the hell do you cut something like "distance"?»
«I've already told you how my power works, haven't I? When I concentrate, I can see the weakest points in the bonds that bind the matter around us. Be it solid or ethereal like mana. Now... my idea was: what if the fabric of space around us also had a weak point?»
«How would you even think of something like that?»
«You see, I was kind of desperate ok? But I couldn't find anything at first. I spent so much time looking into the void, searching for a single tear that would prove that what I was looking for really existed... but nothing. I concentrated so hard I was afraid my head would explode, but... nothing...»
«But then... how...?»
«I'm not done talking,» Sophia said, reaching back and slapping me lightly on the cheek, «when I was pinned against the wall, helpless as usual... I actually thought about giving up for a moment.»
«Sophia...»
«But I didn't! When I saw you were in danger... I tried to break away from the wall with every fibre of my being and... I saw it... a fracture in reality hovering in front of me. When I managed to move my hand... I opened it instantly and in a flash... I was exactly where I wanted to be.»
«Incredible...»
«Perhaps if I succeeded... it's because every part of me wanted to reach you.»
I hugged her tightly:
«Sophia... I'm sorry for what I said to you yesterday. I know I wasn't myself... but I can't bear to have treated you like that...»
«Well... you said you wanted to spoil me to make up for it...»
«Your every wish is an order!» I replied and resumed caressing her head.
«Anyway... it doesn't seem to be something I can use in battle from now on. My body didn't take it well at all... When I woke up, I could hardly breathe.
From what the healers told me... my lungs weren't in good shape. I think moving through space like that puts a lot of pressure on the body, like diving too deep in the ocean.»
«That's terrible... but still... you came to save me from Aldric. You're really great... I don't deserve a girl like you!»
«I'm glad we agree for once,» Sophia joked. But I could hear the smugness in her voice.
I remembered her words.
"I don't want to appear weak in front of you..."
«Sophia...»
«Um...»
«You're the best.»
«Thank you.»
We were silent for a few minutes before Sophia continued her story.
«When Aldric threw me against the wall, I thought it was over for us... I had no strength left to move a finger. But thanks to you... we got out alive. You may not be the best... but you're pretty amazing too.»
«Thanks, but... Aldric stopped suddenly... it was as if he was losing control, or maybe... regaining it. For a moment I thought I saw a light in his eyes.»
«I saw it too, but I have no idea what it was... maybe the method Skylark uses to control him was malfunctioning...»
"It could have been that..."
I remembered the aura of fear I had felt when standing next to Aldric.
"What kind of experiment had they done to him..."
But these thoughts were quickly dispelled. Now that I could finally think rationally, there was something else very important that had just come to my mind.
«Sophia... what the hell is under the entrance hall? I saw light coming from a crack in the floor. When I broke it, Aldric fell down as if there was a void beneath us.»
«I knew you would ask. Unfortunately, I can't give you an exact answer. When you smashed the floor, the room was flooded with a blinding light coming from down there... Before I could investigate, the voice spoke, ending the event, and guards arrived to take us to the infirmary.»
«Guards? And where did they come from?»
«They came down from the second floor...»
«But we looked everywhere on that floor and no one was there before the start of the battle.
«I don't know what to tell you. I ran back to see if I could find out anything, but... the floor had already been repaired and it was full of guards.»
«Already repaired? But you said the rest of the school is still in ruins!»
«That's strange, isn't it? It's as if they wanted to hide what's down there. They were in a hurry...»
"Something they want to hide... something extremely bright... MANA!"
«It really exists! It must be the core that powers the Academy's defences!»
«Very, very likely.»
«But then...»
I tried to stand up, but Sophia stopped me, pressing her body against mine.
«Calm down... there's nothing we can do at the moment, the barrier protecting that floor is quite a problem. Apparently it has several layers, and if we destroy one of them... there won't even be a pile of ashes left of us...»
"If they want to protect that place so badly... the barrier had to be up even during the battle. Did Aldric destroy such a defensive spell just by landing on it? He really is a complete monster!"
But there was something else that didn't add up.
«Wait... How do you know there's a barrier?»
Sophia seemed reluctant to answer.
«I... I asked your friend Fitzroy... if she could check it out...»
«HUH?!»
«You were locked in your room... it was urgent and I didn't know who else to turn to...»
«Sophia... you...»
«As much as I don't like her, I have to admit that she is very capable... Anyway, we'll see her soon, when I left earlier it was to talk to her... she's waiting for us in her room later.»
«Oh? Already familiar enough to go to her room?» I teased her.
«Shut up...» she paused a bit, «I... I think we'll need allies if we want to get out of here...»
«Excuse me? When I suggested it, you agreed with Amy that it was not a good idea.»
«The situation has changed. Now that Aldric has turned up like this... I think everyone has realised that there won't be a happy ending for whoever wins this competition.»
"She's right... fighting amongst ourselves is useless if our destiny is to become monsters without intellect..."
«What about the "mole" thing? Don't you think there's a risk of being betrayed?»
«I can't rule it out... but at this point, with so little time left... we can't let it stop us.»
«I understand. If you think it's the best thing to do... I trust your judgement.»
«Thank you. From what Fitzroy has told me, she already has some ideas about who might be willing to cooperate...»
«Oh... you two work so well together... I'm almost jealous.»
«Idiot.»
«What about you? Not jealous this time? Aren't you afraid that Celeste will try to steal me away? You know her marriage is just an arranged one? Maybe she too has fallen prey to my charm,» I joked.
«I trust you... and in that case I'll just have to make her understand...»
Surprised by her serious tone, I asked:
«Understand what?»
Sophia turned around. Her face was completely red, but she had a determined expression.
«That you are mine.»
The last coherent thought I managed to formulate before Sophia started kissing me for the first time was:
"And you claim that I'm the unfair one..."