56. Heartfelt apologies
The door had barely closed behind Skylark before a human tornado burst into the infirmary.
At that moment, all the worries and questions raised by my conversation with the Headmaster were swept away. I vaguely heard a voice screaming in anger not to run inside the infirmary as the outlines of the world began to blur.
Now it was just me and her.
Sophia's uniform was torn and blackened in several places. Her hair, usually perfectly smooth and neatly combed, was all messed up, as if she had been running her hands through it again and again to keep them busy. Her pretty face was distorted by concern and fear.
But it didn't matter. When I looked into her eyes, I knew I would never see anything more beautiful in my life.
The tears I had tried so hard not to shed in her presence over the past week began to flow mercilessly.
Sophia stopped at the foot of my bed. I could see that her hands were trembling. It was clear that she wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around my neck, but she didn't want to risk hurting me.
«I-it's okay, I'm fine...» I managed to say between sobs, «y-you can hug me... no... you have to hug me.»
At those words, I saw every shred of composure leave Sophia's face. But it was only for a moment, for I was instantly locked into a painful embrace.
A pleasant kind of pain, one I would not mind enduring for the rest of my life.
«Elizabeth...»
«Sophia...»
No more words were needed.
The memory of the moment when I thought I would never feel the warmth of her body pressed against me again intensified my crying tenfold.
But now... all was well. Maybe only for a short while, but it didn't matter, I was back where I belonged.
I clung to her with the only hand I could move. The fire that had threatened to burn me from within during the last ordeal was now a calm and reassuring flame.
"Is love supposed to be so overwhelming?"
I had no idea. Perhaps the intensity of this feeling was due to the dramatic situation in which we had found ourselves.
In a landscape of death, it was a glimpse of serenity in which we had found refuge. But... I was sure it was not all there was to it.
No matter under what circumstances Sophia and I had met, I was sure we'd always fall in love.
So when Sophia pulled away from me, all I could do was whisper in her ear:
«I love you so much. I missed you.»
It probably had only been a few hours since we'd said goodbye, but to me it felt like an eternity.
«Me too...» Sophia replied with a slight smile.
However, it soon gave way to a worried expression as my girlfriend's eyes moved to my bandaged arm.
«Is your hand...?»
«It's fine. I can't move it yet, but I'm sure it'll be fine. They've reattached whole limbs before, a hand is child's play for them.»
«You scared the hell out of us, you know that?»
It was not Sophia who had said those words.I had been so focused on her that I had not noticed several other people entering the infirmary.
Celeste approached my bed, put her hand on my knee and said:
«I'm really glad you're alive, Liz!»
«Thank you, so am I!» I said, wiping away my tears and smiling at her.
She was in much better shape than Sophia, but I could see that she was still pretty shaken up.
There were two other visitors behind her. Philemon looked like he had done nothing more than take a walk in the park. He nodded at me as usual. Wilhelm, on the other hand, seemed to have lost every ounce of the cockiness that characterised him.
«Glad you're all right,» the boy murmured, looking down at the ground.
"What the hell did Sophia do to him? Well, I'm glad she didn't have to kill him at least."
Seeing him like that, I didn't feel like replying as sharply as I usually would have and just thanked him.
"Where's Penny and... Nicole, is she ok?"
But before I could ask that question out loud, I felt a hand close on mine. My eyes returned to Sophia.
«Are you sure you're all right? Does anything hurt?» she asked, her inquisitive eyes scanning every inch of my body. Her initial state of concern did not seem to have subsided.
"Do I look that bad?" I thought as I intertwined my fingers with hers and squeezed her hand in return.
«I'm fine, I'm fine. I just feel really tired,» I replied, trying to sound as cheerful as my energies would allow.
«But...»
«She's fine! Come on, sit down and get back to your usual frigid self,» Celeste exclaimed, grabbing her by the shoulders and forcing her to sit in the chair next to my bed.
Despite her words, she continued to rub her shoulders, trying to calm her down. But I could see that her hands were shaking a little as she did so.
"Seems like Sophia has suddenly become the most honest with her own feelings..."
«You know, I thought she was going to tear down the door when the old man made us go out,» Celeste said.
«I wanted to. But I knew she would get mad at me,» Sophia said as she tried to shake Celeste off.
«What the hell happened to you, by the way? You were in a terrible state, you looked more dead than alive!» my friend exclaimed, moving away from Sophia to sit on the edge of my bed.
«Didn't Penny tell you? Where is she anyway? And Nicole... is she all right?»
I saw Celeste and Sophia exchange a look that did not bode well.
"What...? It can't be..."
«Penny was here until a little while ago. As soon as she heard you were going to recover, she went to her room saying she needed to rest. She didn't tell us much except that you lost your hand trying to save her,» Celeste said, after nodding to Sophia.
"Penny... I'm glad she didn't say anything about the beam or what happened in the final chamber... I want to be the one to tell Sophia."
«And Nicole, is she... dead?»
Celeste shook her head:
«No, no, I'm sorry, I should have said that at the beginning and not made you worry. But... she's kind of out of it at the moment. You see... the last trial didn't go well for her.»
«Oh... so she...»
«From what she managed to tell us... her partner tried to force her to put her hand on the pedestal, so she had to... well, you know,» Celeste concluded.
«I see...»
That was not very surprising, after all, as Skylark had said, both solutions to the puzzle were accepted. And as I had personally experienced, the one that required to sacrifice someone was the easier one to find.
«How many people died?» I asked, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.
It was Sophia who answered me, squeezing my hand harder:
«Eight students. You and Penny were the last to get out alive.»
Eight students... in just one day.
Suddenly I felt the urge to puke. We were only 16 now. The time we had to get out of here had been shortened yet again.
"But to be the last ones to get out alive... no wonder Sophia and Celeste were so worried about me. If the other couple got out faster than me and Penny..."
«I'm sorry...» I murmured.
«Why are you apologizing? You did everything you could to survive, didn't you? You kept your word,» Sophia said.
"But... I almost didn't... I lost my mind and I came so close to leaving you alone."
I was going to tell her. I would have confessed everything to her when we had a bit of privacy.
«But at least everyone from our group came out alive!» I tried to lighten up the mood that I had created with my question.
But Celeste looked at me uncharacteristically gloomily.
«That's true, but... Liz...»
«We said we'd tell her when she felt better,» Sophia interrupted her.
«Tell me what? What is going on?» I asked.
Sophia's lip twitched but she didn't answer.
"It's super hypocritical of me... unlike me, she's just trying to protect me, but I need to know..."
«Please, Sophia...»
«Penny... she's last place now. If we group up and give her points, we might be able to keep her alive for another week or two, but... after that, the gap is far too big.»
«I... see...»
I let myself sink into the bed.
"Penny..."
Even now I didn't know what to think of her.
On the one hand, I could only be grateful that she had saved my life with her medical expertise and quick thinking. She had even gone so far as to sacrifice herself for me.
But the fact that she had come so close to making me throw my life away for nothing... how could I accept that?
"But even so... I definetly don't want her to die. I..."
«We have to do something!» I shouted, standing up and leaning against the backrest.
«That's right! But you are not going anywhere right now!» Celeste said, finally smiling again, grabbing my legs to make sure I didn't try to get out of bed.
«So, what happened in the dungeon?» she continued, clearly trying to change the subject.
«Oh... well...»
I began to tell her what had happened during the first trial. Celeste looked at me in approval as I explained how I had solved it.
«That's a clever way to do it... I wish it had been as exciting for me and Philemon. But doublelcasting made it so easy.»
"I'd rather give away all the excitement I'll ever feel than experience something like that again."
«What about you, Sophia?» I asked, intrigued, «how did you get out of it?»
«Our trial was a bit different. There were statues, but our room was much bigger than yours. At first I thought of the same solution as you and that Skylark just wanted me to die there, so... I tried to cut the door open.»
I sighed. It was just like Sophia to do something crazy like that. She was usually calm and rational, but sometimes she could be even more impulsive than me.
"Maybe I'm the one who infected her."
«And let me guess... it didn't work?» I asked.
«Nope. The door had a strange spell on it. It kept rebuilding itself faster than I could cut it.»
«So? What did you do?»
«I just tried to brute force it. I had Wilhelm try to activate the statues one by one. When he did, we were joined by some less than pleasant guests. A wyrm, a mountain giant, a merfolk and a harpy, in that order.»
«And you fought those things?»
«Yes... it was fine, although the wyrm roasted me a bit... its fire was too hot, even if it didn't hit me directly.» she said, nonchalantly pointing at her burnt uniform.
«Luckily Wilhelm is pretty good with healing spells.»
I glanced at the boy, but he looked away immediately.
"What did she do to him? Maybe when he saw how she defeated all those horrible creatures, he realised how scary she can be and that it's better not to mess with her."
I continued my story.
I couldn't help but blush as Sophia checked my leg to see if it had healed. As her cold fingers grazed my ankle, I tried my best to keep my composure and continued talking.
Apparently the second test had been the same for everyone, and no one had had much trouble with it. When it came to describing my encounter with Sophia's copy and how I had defeated her, I stopped.
"I... want to talk to Sophia about it before I tell Celeste and the others. A power that feeds on my life force... that is not something I should reveal lightly."
«For the third test, I fought what looked like a mimic-» I began.
«Only one? We fought 4 of them! They looked just like the guys who chased us during the battle... and they had some kind of enchantment on them to simulate their innate powers!» Celeste interrupted me.
Sophia tapped her head lightly with her fist:
«Shut up and let her talk!»
«Sorry!»
«It's fine. I… fought a copy of Sophia,» I continued.
My girlfriend's eyes opened wide.
«What about you? Did you fight me?» I asked her.
«No... we fought a copy of Celeste and Philemon...» she said, almost regretfully.
"Why does she look sad... did she want to beat me up? And why do I feel jealous all of a sudden?"
Trying to shake off that nonsensical feeling, I went on.
When it came to the part where I lost my hand, Sophia almost destroyed my healthy one by how strong her grip got.
«I'm sorry...» she mumbled.
«For what? It's not like it was the real you. Anyway...» I paused a little, «the mimic was about to kill me when Penny went and stabbed it from behind. I used a weapon enchantment to make sure her sword could pierce it and... I cast a Flare directly into the hole she left, causing it to explode.»
I hated that I had to lie and that I would have to do it again soon.
«Woah, you must have nerves of steel to do something like that after having just been mutilated,» Celeste commented, impressed.
Then it was time for the final test. There was no way I was going to tell everyone here what really happened.
«As for the sacrifice test. I realised that there was no way Skylark would just kill half the students. There had to be a trick. So we tried several things until we found the solution,» I concluded, trying my best not to give the impression that I was making things up.
«I see... I was a bit worried when we got there. Philemon, luckily, kept his cool and found the solution very quickly,» Celeste said.
"Figures... there's really nothing that can make that guy lose his temper."
But it wasn't those two that I was curious about. Looking back at Wilhelm, I saw that his eyes were fixed on Sophia.
"Maybe he doesn't want her to say what happened."
As if to confirm what I was thinking, the boy took a step forward as my girlfriend started to speak.
«I...» he began.
And then...
«I'm sorry for my behaviour,» Wilhelm said, bowing so much that his head almost touched the ground.
I looked at him with my mouth hanging open, but then:
«I told you, I'm not the one you sh-» I tried to say.
«I apologise to both of you!» Wilhelm cut me off, «I know it might seem insincere after Thornton saved me several times during the test... but believe me, I'm really sorry.»
Sophia huffed:
«I told you, there's no need for this stuff...»
«Oh no, there is a need!» I exclaimed.
«Elizabeth...»
«So what made you change your mind?» I asked.
Wilhelm lifted his head and looked at me with a solemn expression.
«She fought so hard during the trials, even risking her life for me. But when we got to the end, I was sure she would just force me to sacrifice myself, since she's much stronger than me, but...»
«I said I'd never be able to look you in the eye if I did that,» Sophia finished for him, «you're the one who told me I wasn't a bad person... that I only killed in self-defence. I wanted to be true to those words. I want to be the person you think I am.»
"I don't deserve her..."
Unlike me, she only had thought of me in that room. Her words were sincere, unlike the ones I had said to Penny.
I lowered my eyes, unable to bear her smile, as Wilhelm resumed speaking:
«As I said, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to associate Thornton with the people who killed my friend. Now I'm sure she only did what she had to do to survive. You were right, and I hope you'll forgive me.»
I looked up to see the outstretched hand Wilhelm was holding out towards me. I grabbed it without hesitation.
«I am sorry too. I know very well what it is like to lose someone you care about and how it can cloud your judgement. You made a mistake, but I also overreacted.»
Celeste clapped her hands in glee.
«Look at them! They grow up so fast!» she exclaimed, «now we can really call our little group a true alliance. Speaking of which...»
I knew what she was going to ask.
«What did that piece of shit want with you?»
«I...»
"I'm so tired of lying."
«I need to think about it a bit more before I tell you. Is that okay?»
Celeste gave a sympathetic nod:
«Of course, you must be tired. Come on, boys, let's let her rest. We need to think about how to deal with Penny's situation.»
Celeste stood up and pushed Philemon and Wilhelm out of the room, giving me one of her usual winks.
Sophia and I were left alone in the infirmary, along with a healer who was rummaging through one of the potion shelves. I didn't know what time it was, but from the orange glow coming through the windows, it was probably late evening.
«I was really worried... Elizabeth,» Sophia murmured, breaking the silence that had fallen between us, «I know you told me everything would be fine... but those minutes waiting for you to return from the dungeon... I felt like the world was going to end for me. I'm really weak, aren't I? I'm sorry that you had to see me in such a sorry state this past week.»
My feelings of guilt became so intense that I felt my tears well up again. I released my hand from her grip and touched her cheek and our eyes met.
«Unlike me... you really are a wonderful person, Sophia. And you are not weak, you are much stronger than before. The fact that you can finally show what you really feel without fear of being judged by others... that's true strength. I really don't deserve you, I'm a terrible girlfriend.»
«What are you talking about?» she said, covering my hand with hers.
«I've lied to you. I hid things from you. I told you I wanted a relationship where we could trust and support each other and then I kept stuff from you instead. As usual, I'm just a big mouthed idiot,» I said, lowering my gaze.
«I thought I should be the one to take the initiative in our relationship. I thought that since you were so inexperienced in dealing with other people, that I would have to guide you. That I had to be strong for you so that you could rely on me. But in the end... in a short time you have become much more mature than me. You can wear your heart on your sleeve, while I can't even tell you what I really think. And that's not all. I did something terrible in that dungeon, something I am very ashamed of. I'm pathetic, Sophia, I don't deserve to have someone like you by my side.»
There was a moment of silence. Then Sophia put her other hand on my cheek and forced me to lift my face.
Her eyes were as deep and captivating as ever. Inside them I could see a glimmer of irritation but also her overflowing affection for me.
«You're doing it again. You never learn, do you?»
«What-»
«You are always like this, Elizabeth. You always end up making a mess out of nothing and then you start apologising and mumbling about what you did wrong. You always make things so complicated for no reason. Let me guess, now you're going to say you're going to change and never do something like that ever again?»
«Sophia, I...»
My girlfriend squeezed my cheeks.
«Oww!»
«It's okay. You'll tell me all about it, maybe I'll get angry and then I'll forgive you. Isn't that what always happens?»
«But... will you really always forgive me? Will I ever learn, Sophia?»
Sophia let go of my cheeks as her face came closer to mine.
«I don't know... but you have taught me so much, Elizabeth. You have taught me that I can be happy with who I really am. So I don't mind teaching you as well, however many times it takes.
You may be an idiot, but you are my idiot and I love you more than anything. So stop saying stupid things and open your mouth.»
«Uh-!?»
But she had already closed my lips with hers. It was Sophia who led the kiss this time.
I was feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I wanted to disappear. Her kindness and forgiveness were too much for me.
But she wouldn't let me get away. She pursued me until I accepted her embrace. How could I refuse? It hurt, but it was also too sweet not to lose myself in it.
«Thank you, Sophia and I'm sorry. I really am,» I said, after our lips parted.
«We'll see. As your first act of penance, I’m afraid you’ll have to sleep alone tonight. That healer is already glaring at us.»
«Alright… I’ll miss you though,» I said, looking at her going for the door.
It was going to be a cold and lonely night.
«Shut up and go to sleep. Trying to sweet-talk me is not going to save you. Just so you know, a trial awaits you when you get out of here. You'll have to tell me your deepest secrets,» she said with a mischievous smile.
«Will I go to prison?» I chuckled.
«Oh... I have a much worse punishment in mind for you...»
A shiver ran down my spine. I could see a glimmer of the old Sophia in her expression. The one who never missed an opportunity to torment me.
Or maybe that was just a part of her, ready to surface when needed.
"There is so much I have yet to discover about my girlfriend. She's just so amazing... If only we had more time..."
I was sure of one thing: I would have endured any punishment if it meant I could keep seeing her smile.