Dungeons and Dalliances

Liz had always known this in an abstract way, but the events of yesterday, and now today, confirmed it with absolute certainty.

The dungeon was a wicked, wicked creation.

“N-No way,” Liz said. “Is that—it can’t be—it doesn’t mean—?“

“I knew this would happen,” Natalie said, her face covered with her hands. “Gods, this is so embarrassing.”

Liz stared at the pillar sprouted from the ground. After a good hour cutting their way through the dungeon, they’d found a special encounter room. Not quite a puzzle. The directions the dungeon were providing were clear enough. It even came with swirling, cursive writing tucked beneath the drawings—instructions that left little doubt.

But Liz still failed to understand what she was seeing.

There, engraved onto the stone pillar, laid three pictures. In the first, a woman sat straddled against a rounded block. She had a spectator. In the second, the block was clearly vibrating—moving back and forth. A heart with an x-mark through it was beneath the woman. Finally, in the third picture, a checkmark followed by an arrow leading to a lootchest and a sword.

In case they couldn’t understand the pictures—and Liz almost couldn’t from its sheer absurdity, despite how clear the depiction was—a numbered list was scrawled into the stone, almost comically elegant and refined when compared to its content.

1. Accept the challenge, and a spectator.
2. Resist the temptation to finish
3. Claim your reward, a weapon tailored to the challenger.

“It can’t be saying what I think it is,” Liz said dumbly.

The dungeon expected someone to be pleasured? On that rounded, cylindrical seat? Which apparently vibrated?

More than that, while being watched?

And winning gave a weapon tailored to the challenger???

“I hate my class,” Natalie said, face still buried in her hands. “I really, really thought it would be kept to me.”

“Why does it need a spectator!” Liz shrilled.

The other stuff was weird, okay, but why did they have to be watched while it happened?

And Liz had decidedly not missed how the dungeon had offered this challenge right after Liz had been robbed of her weapon. Was it implying something? That she was supposed to take this challenge up? To earn a new wand so that she could give Ana her orb back, and the team could operate as they had before?

“You know,” Sofia said, “I believed you, Nat, but seeing it in action is something else.” The white-haired girl peered at the diagram, as if looking for some clue, then glanced at the accompanying device: the cylindrical ‘challenge seat’. “Only you could get a class like this.”

“And what does that mean?” Natalie growled, finally revealing her flushed face. The poor girl seemed mortified, but to be fair, all five of them were blushing.

Well. Four of them. Liz seriously envied Ana, sometimes. But really, the fact she seemed intrigued more than anything was ridiculous. Like this was merely an interesting deviation of the dungeon, and she only cared about it from a scientific perspective.

“Are we using it?” Ana asked.

Four pairs of eyes turned to her, mouths falling open.

“Using it!” Liz exclaimed. “Of course … of course we …”

She paused.

Her knee-jerk reaction was that of course they wouldn’t. It was so indiscreet! Her, a member of House Beaumon, the royal family, being pleasured by some … some dungeon contraption? While one of her teammates watched on?

“It certainly solves a problem of ours,” Liz found herself saying—and it definitely hadn’t been a conscious decision to do so.

The incredulous looks turned to her—except for Ana, bless her, who merely seemed to agree—and Liz’s face flushed scarlet.

“I need a weapon, don’t I?” Liz asked defensively. “I just … can’t believe someone has to watch!”

“Wait,” Natalie said. “You’re serious?”

“You took up your challenge, didn’t you?” Liz shot back. “So who are you to talk? Besides, it’s free gear.” She crossed her arms. “And since it’s your class, you’re the one who has to watch me.”

Again, the words just kind of came out.

To her horror.

For a second, the words sat in the air, Liz’s—and Natalie’s—face growing redder by the second.

“Makes sense to me,” Jordan said. She clapped Natalie on the back. “We’ll give you two some privacy, then.”

Liz couldn’t quite work up the nerve to gauge everyone’s reactions. She kept her gaze locked defiantly at Natalie, who was still gaping at her.

What, was it that ridiculous?

Yes. It very much was.

“It’s your class, not mine,” Liz huffed. “Stop looking at me like that.” She faced the cylindrical seat and approached. Stalwartly ignoring her teammates as they were guided out of the room by Jordan, Liz knelt down and inspected the cylindrical seat. There was a bump in the middle. Two straps at the thighs, too, to keep her well and locked down. While it … did stuff. Tried to make her lose. While Natalie watched.

Oh, gods. Wait, how had this happened? She’d agreed to this? Why, again? Who cared if she didn’t have a weapon? That’d fix in short order from normal adventuring. Having one of her teammates watch her ride a vibrating seat was much, much more of a permanent problem.

Was it better or worse that she knew Natalie liked girls? At least if she’d been straight, this would be marginally less awkward. Or would it? Liz had no clue.

“I’m going to die of embarrassment,” Liz declared. She stood and faced Natalie; they were alone in the room, the others having left. “So you better not make this more awkward than it is. And you can’t tell anyone about it.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Natalie said. “We can just ignore it. It’s optional.”

“It’s free gear,” Liz repeated. “And I need a weapon. Besides, it’s not that big of a deal. We’re all professionals here.”

“Professionals.”

“Yeah. Delvers. So get over here and help me figure out how it works.”

Shaking her head to clear it—and with neither of their blushes settled—Natalie did as she was told.