Dungeons Are Bad Business

Vee was starting to get worried. He looked down at the paltry gathering of adventurers who were looking to challenge Crestheart that day. There were only five. If this dearth continued, they’d run out of money to keep up with Sacre’s repayments in a little over a month. Vee drummed his fingers on the desk. There has to be some way that we can get adventurers back in the door.

This wasn’t a problem he’d had to deal with before, so Vee wasn’t exactly sure how to go about solving it. Ever since Crestheart opened, the number of adventurers coming to challenge it each morning was fairly stable. Some days were better, others were worse, but like the ocean tides coming in and out each day, business had stayed approximately the same. Until now, Vee hadn’t really even considered that demand might not be stable, and had dedicated almost all of his mental energies to increasing the marginal revenue earned per adventurer instead of seriously trying to increase the number of adventurers passing through the dungeon. That had been a mistake.

It’d been naïve to not think about handling a slowdown before, and Vee now realized that he’d simply been lucky in not having to deal with this until now. Such was the way of the world; sometimes luck and naivete held hands like old lovers.

Vee shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. Pretty soon he’d need a hairband just to be able to see. Each passing day made going and getting that haircut more and more necessary, but the [Dungeon Master] just didn’t know where to find the time. There was so much to do.

Taking his notebook out of the pocket of his jacket, Vee looked at the list of ways to improve Crestheart he’d come up with alongside Reginald and Alforde the night before. The lines between ideas bled together for many of the entries, but there were a few common themes that had emerged as part of the SWOT analysis and Vee hoped that focusing on them would yield both short and long-term benefits.

Unfortunately, the list wasn’t well organized. They’d kind of just blurted things out as they came to mind and Vee hadn’t gotten around to sorting the information properly yet. As such, the first thing written down was improving the thematics of the dungeon.

Right now, Crestheart was loosely ghost themed, but only by nature of some fog, some color changing lights, and a heavy skew towards ghosts as minions. Vee had yet to really dig into the idea and make the dungeon feel properly ghastly. The addition of the skeletons would be a good first step, but it wasn’t enough on its own.

A question filled Vee’s mind: how exactly was he supposed to go about cranking up the ghost factor?

Pondering that led to another question: what exactly was a ghost? During his time at the academy – and regularly after graduating – Vee had wrestled with that very question. There were the obvious things: ectoplasm, moving spirits, strange ethereal creatures with no fitting name other than ‘ghost’, but was that really it? What about mementos? Wasn’t a physical reminder of something that no longer existed a ghost of sorts? If that was the case, then most of the city was a ghost, wasn’t it?

Vee smiled and stopped himself from following that line of thought any further. He recognized the siren’s song of indulging the theoretical, and wasn’t going to fall prey to its sweet melody today. Back in Bardis, he would have happily spent the day pondering the nuances and implications. Gawain’s balls, he couldn’t even count the number of hours he’d wasted these types of wonderings, but he was determined to avoid adding any more time to that counter today.

But is it really procrastination if it leads to tangible improvement for Crestheart? Okay, maybe he’d indulge his intellectual whim just a bit.

Even if the abandoned buildings all around the city weren’t proper ghosts, there was no reason he couldn’t incorporate some of the legacy of Oar’s Crest into the dungeon, was there?

Sitting there, Vee had an idea. He would add a ghostly forge that burned with blue fire to the dungeon. Along with it would be a series of orbs that needed to be retrieved from various rooms. When thrown into the fire, these orbs would be collected and the keys for future rooms would be spit out. Adventurers would have to go back and forth from this hub to the other parts of the dungeon to collect the proper keys in order to keep advancing or collect intermediate treasures. Depending on the traps and hazards along the way, this would make it substantially harder for an adventurer to reach Alforde.

It was a good idea and Vee liked it. He’d get the ball rolling on it, and then he’d get focused on coming up with a way to bring more adventurers into the dungeon.

Closing his eyes, Vee summoned Do to the office. He didn’t have to wait long, since the [Dungeon Maintainer] appeared almost instantly.

“You wanted something, Master?”

Vee studied the fiend. Was he thinner than he’d been before? It was hard to be sure, but Do definitely seemed to take up less space than he did the last time Vee had seen him. His features were different too: blockier and more human. He made a mental note to jot this possible change down in his little journal about the orchestra’s transformation. If he ever heard back from someone at the academy, he wanted to have good notes about what exactly had happened, so he could –

Focus, Vee! No more distractions!

Squeezing his hands together in an attempt to force himself to buckle down on the task at hand, Vee smiled at Do.

“Would you and a few other members of your section go into the old, abandoned forge near Juniper’s shop and remove one of the furnaces? I want it brought to Crestheart and ready to be installed in the coming days.”

The [Dungeon Maintainer] bowed. “Of course, Master. We will be honored to do as you ask. Is there anything else you require?”

“Thank you, but that’s all for now,” said Vee, feeling oddly formal and a little uncomfortable about it.

Do bowed once more and left. Vee turned his attention back to the list and was just about to really focus when Reginald distracted him.

“Hey boss, can you come change the dungeon path? This guy wants blue.”

Putting down his pen, Vee walked over to his usual seat next to the hat and activated [Walking Walls] to change the dungeon so the [Monk] would be on the blue path. This was another dungeon feature that needed modification. The paths were nifty, but they needed to be tweaked and updated. Right now, they were too similar. Walk forward, fight monsters, get varying amounts of rewards for doing so. Repeat.

He’d have to come up with ways to distinguish them from each other. Later, that is. Later!

After he was done moving the walls into their proper place, Vee returned to his notebook. As he picked up his pen once again, he marveled at how much easier it was to use [Walking Walls]. When he’d first used the skill, he’d gotten nauseous after moving a single wall no more than a few inches, but now he could shift the sixteen walls necessary for changing paths multiple times in a day without really noticing. He smiled. It felt good to have such a tangible reminder of his progress. In a few more months, he might even be able to—

Argh! Vee clapped his hands to his forehead and cursed his brain’s apparent plot to distract him to no end. He was trying to focus! His kneecaps were depending on him coming up with a way to bring in more fleurs!

Slamming his hands on the desk, Vee pushed himself up and looked over at Reginald. “I’m going to go talk to Torres,” he said.

The hat, who was busy bantering with the adventurer, held up a single yellow spirit thumb, and Vee left the office. He clambered down the stairs – how he despised them! – and went outside to see the [Stationer] leaning against the wall with a huge stack of unsold dungeon guides next to him. The man had his arms folded across his chest and looked downright dour.

Vee was grateful that Reginald hadn’t come along. He could just hear the hat’s snarky “How’s business?” in his mind’s ear, and it wouldn’t do any good to antagonize Torres just then. The [Dungeon Master] needed a favor. Or well, maybe not a favor precisely, but a business transaction that would probably look an awful lot like a favor to an untrained eye.

“Good afternoon, Mister Torres.”

Torres looked at him and nodded curtly. Vee forced himself to keep smiling. “So, I’m sure you’ve noticed that things around here have been a little slow lately, huh?”

While perhaps not quite as poor of an opener as “How’s business?”, the are-you-actually-an-idiot look that the [Stationer] gave him in reply felt like a punch to the stomach. A well-deserved punch to the stomach.

“Indeed,” said Torres after the moment passed. “My only consolation is that while I haven’t sold a single guide this week, I can rest assured that my competitors probably haven’t either. There’s no need, with so few adventurers coming to Crestheart. Do you have any ideas for how to turn the ship around?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Vee said. “Would you be willing to make some flyers for us? We’re planning on running a promotion in the next week or so to try and get people in the door. Twenty five silver fleurs to run both floors and a prize for the adventurer who does it the fastest.”

“That might be effective. How many flyers are you looking to have made?”

“Five hundred or so for starters. We’re going to put them up around town and have the guild send a few out to other branches nearby.”

Torres whistled and twirled his mustache.

“Five hundred? That’s a good bit of work. Probably a day or two at the very least. How much are you willing to pay?”

“Today? A bronze fleur per three flyers. At the end of the month, I’m good for a bronze fleur per flyer.”

Torres shook his head. “Far too low. I can’t do it any cheaper than a bronze per flyer today. My poor, shrunken stomach can’t be filled with promises of future payment, you understand.”

Vee looked at the man’s ample gut and furrowed his brow. He was willing to bet that the number of meals Torres missed was miniscule, if it even existed at all. Still, he played along with the negotiation. Finally, after offering a lump sum of two silver fleurs as a sign of good faith to get things started, Vee managed to get Torres to agree to make the flyers and the majority of his payment later for them. It was a small win, but Vee was proud of himself for getting it all the same.

He wondered if he could set up other dungeon purchases so they worked the same way.

[Ah, credit. Congratulations, you are now a Dungeon Master Level 12!]

[Charisma +1]

Alforde’s eyes grew wide as Jared brought the gleaming hammer out from back behind the forge. It was…perfect.

Forged entirely of frostnickel, the weapon seemed to sing as he wrapped his gauntlets around the braided handle. It was heavier than he was expecting – or maybe it just seemed that way due to his reduced Might. Hopefully once he got his points back it wouldn’t be so bad. He hoisted it up and slid into his ready stance.

The [Dungeon Champion] spun the hammer a few times and took a couple practice swings to get a feel for its balance. Despite his weakness, the weapon moved precisely as he wanted it to, and Alforde was excited to get back to the alley behind Sculla’s boarding house so that he could properly practice. You and I are going to do great things together, Slammy.

[Congratulations, you are now a Hammer Afficionado Level 18!]

[Endurance +1]

[You can now use Combination Attack]

“Did you manage to get the modification working?” Alforde asked.

Jared nodded. “Sure did. You just reach down to that knob on the bottom and give it a good twist. All the mechanical parts work just fine, but you’ll need to visit an [Enchanter] to finish the job. I don’t keep enchanted crystals around the shop.”

“No problem, that’s what I expected,” Alforde said as he grabbed the knob at the end of Slammy’s handle and rotated it until it made a satisfying clunk and stopped moving further. Slammy’s head opened up like a book, leaving a small gap in the center. On one side of the gap was a narrow groove, which was the perfect size for socketing a decently-sized crystal.

There were still four gold fleurs of Norog’s money left, which should more than cover the armorsoul’s enchantment needs. He knew that he wanted some sort of projectile or area-of-effect crystal, but wasn’t positive of the specific one just yet. He’d talk to Vee about it later, and see what his budget would allow.

For now, Alforde had other plans. Thanking Jared once again for giving him such a splendid weapon, the [Dungeon Champion] left the shop and hurried to Sculla’s. Once he was positive that Mister Watson’s window was closed, the armorsoul began to practice his strikes and swings in earnest.

His new body was stiffer than he would have liked, and he moved slower than he was used to, but Alforde knew that in time he’d be back to his old form. Better, in fact. He could feel the potential in this new armor, and it filled him with excitement.

And determination, naturally.

[You’ve regained some of your old skills. Might +2]

Falling into a rhythm, the rest of the afternoon passed in a flurry of hammer blows.

When he finally stopped himself – mostly out of fear of losing his grip on Slammy due to his fatigue – Alforde noticed the large swarm of insects buzzing through the air. Though he wasn’t personally bothered by them, he wondered how the other residents of Oar’s Crest were handling with the infestation.

More importantly, he wondered where it was coming from. Maybe it’s the season? I don’t remember ever seeing swarms like this back in Bardis.

His curiosity didn’t last long. Whatever the deal with the bugs was, it wasn’t his problem. Resting Slammy on his pauldrons, Alforde returned to their room to wait for Vee.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales:

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 22

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 12 (+1)

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 4

Might: 9

Wit: 28

Faith: 18

Adventurousness: 6

Ambition: 9

Plotting: 13

Charisma: 6 (+1)

Devious Mind: 13

Leadership: 12

Guts: 8

Intimidating Presence: 7

Citizenship: 6

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 18 (+1)

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 10

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 10

Additional Class: Clunker (Vee Vales), Level 3

Might: 17 (+2)

Wit: 10

Faith: 24

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 7

Endurance: 12 (+1)

Intimidating Presence: 9

Heart of a Champion: 2

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 3

Vigilance: 4

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 36

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 8

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 4 (+1)

Might: 1

Wit: 27

Faith: 9

Ambition: 25

Greed: 21

Deceptiveness: 30

Manipulat#$%@: &8

F%^*#@: ~

[*#&$#*#&$--#@$--]

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 2