Dungeons Are Bad Business

Getting Hanako set up in the tower was quite the ordeal. Apparently, in order to convince her father that she was actually working at Crestheart as an intern, the girl needed an entire enchantment workshop set up. By itself, that wasn’t a huge deal. There was plenty of space in the tower, but the process of moving Hanako’s supplies and equipment from her house all the way to Westown was a nightmare. There was so much stuff: hammers, chisels, drills, pliers, books, scrolls, desks, and all sorts of other bizarre trinkets that Vee wasn’t familiar with. Had he known the size of the job when he started, he would have hired a cart and taken care of it in a single trip, but he foolishly trusted Hanako’s assurance that there were ‘just a few more things that shouldn’t take more than another trip or so’ until he was too far in to justify the cost of paying for the cart.

Ultimately, it took eight trips for Vee and Alforde to help the girl bring all of her implements to the tower. By the end of the last one, Vee wanted to recant his decision to take the girl on as an intern.

It wasn’t all bad, though. He’d gotten another point of Might for his troubles, and he had to admit that he liked the way her workshop looked. It was neat and professional, and made the tower feel a lot less empty. It was still a far cry from a proper headquarters, but progress was progress.

Her wide desk was in the center of the main room on the tower’s fifth floor and there were other benches and tables set up to accommodate specific tools.

She’d asked the [Dungeon Maintainers] for some additional bookshelves to store the remainder of her reference materials, and the fiends had happily complied. Vee was glad to see their continued improvement when it came to matters of building and construction.

They were all on the far side of the room, safely out of the way of any debris made by the enchantment process. All of them were packed with books and scrolls to point of bursting. Vee had suggested an additional shelf or two, but Hanako refused.

“I have a system,” she’d explained.

“Do you really need all these books?” Vee asked as he took one tome down from the shelf and read the title. The Complete Guide to Basic Enchanting, Volume XIII, Fire. He counted the rest of the books that had the same design on their spines. There were twenty-four still on the shelf. And that was only for basic enchanting?

Maybe they’d gotten off easier than he’d thought when it came to moving Hanako’s stuff over. Gawain’s balls!

Hanako shrugged as she set her tools on her desk and arranged the complex array of mirrors, magnifying lenses, and light crystals that would let her properly see her work. “My dad says that I won’t need them as much as I get better, but I’ve seen him go and consult the old books when he’s working on a difficult project, so who knows. Some of the details between different types of enchantments look pretty similar.”

Vee cracked open the book and looked for himself. The shapes and forms on the page reminded him a little bit of his own sigilmancy, but were far more elaborate and sophisticated. He saw what Hanako meant about things looking similar, too. One page that he studied had eight different ways to bestow fiery properties to an item, but no matter how long Vee stared at them, he couldn’t see any differences between the variants.

“What are you talking about? The line thicknesses are totally different!” Hanako said when he mentioned it. “You’re really not one for details, are you?”

“Not in the slightest,” said Vee. “That’s why I’m a [Ghost Maestro] and not an [Enchanter]. There’s a lot more wiggle room with ectoplasm.”

Hanako rolled her eyes, and Vee grinned. The [Enchantress] returned her attention to getting her tools in place while Vee browsed her bookshelves for a few more minutes. When he’d grown bored of reading the titles and looking at the covers, he turned and walked to the door.

“Once you’re finished getting set up, go up to the top of the tower. My notebook is on the table up there, and underneath it is a list of the crystals I’d like you to get started on, okay?”

The [Enchantress] nodded.

“Where will you be?”

“I have a little project of my own that I’m going to be working on. I’ll probably be in the city by the time you get done.”

With a wave, Vee left Hanako to her business and headed up to his lab. Along the way, he stopped in on the slimes and grabbed one of the smallest ones.

There were fleurs to be made.

Alforde focused on the mirror in front of him, and Shadowforde slowly appeared. He hadn’t summoned the Reflection since his battle with Norog, and it was more than a little strange to be looking at his old body once again.

Thankfully, it didn’t last. With a swirl and a shift, Shadowforde changed his form so that he properly mirrored Alforde’s frostnickel body. His reflected Hammy became a reflected Slammy. Alforde felt a twinge of regret at the change – he still missed his old hammer – but he didn’t let himself linger on it for long.

This shape is better than your old one. It’s easier to maneuver, for all that it reminds me of a glacier.

Alforde nodded. The “sound” of the Reflection’s presence inside his helmet was different than it’d been before. It was smoother and a little cold, but the [Dungeon Champion] didn’t mind. He briefly wondered if that was how his own voice sounded to the rest of the world. No wonder Vee always laughed at his attempts to banter!

Have you noticed any specific weaknesses?

“The plates around my pauldrons still get tighter than I’d like them to, but I’m working on that. Hopefully it’ll be resolved soon.”

The Reflection tested its pauldrons and nodded.

I see what you mean. Perhaps there’s a misalignment somewhere?

Alforde shrugged. He’d asked Glenda the same thing, and she’d insisted that the armor was perfect. He trusted her judgement. It was just a matter of tweaking things on his end until they worked properly.

“I’ll start adding some oil at night and see if that helps.”

A wise plan. Now, I take if you’re here to practice?

Indeed, that’s why the armorsoul was down in the arena. Though he was strong enough to handle most of the adventurers he’d fought before his injury, he wanted to regain the rest of his stats as quickly as possible so that the dungeon could fully reopen. Simply going through the motions of being [Dungeon Champion] was unacceptable. He wanted to – no, he needed to excel in his duties.

Vee was counting on him, and Alforde wouldn’t let his friend down.

Raising Slammy, Alforde settled into his battle stance, squatting a bit and tightening his gauntlets. He emptied his thoughts and focused on the spar at hand. This was not a real fight, he reminded himself. There wouldn’t be any killing, and he wouldn’t get injured.

He shook away the unpleasant memory of his gauntlet shattering in Norog’s grip. It did him no good to keep dwelling on the matter.

The arena is familiar, the arena is comfortable. This is where I’m at my best. I belong here. This is my arena, and I’m going to make sure the whole world knows it!

Shadowforde shook his helmet as he looked at the way Alforde stood.

That stance is clumsy. It’s not suited to your new form. Before, you were nothing but a tenacious buffoon. You cannot afford to be that anymore. Allow me to show you a more elegant way to fight. Something worthy of your new body.

The Reflection shifted so that his hammer was pointed down at the ground and he turned so that he wasn’t facing Alforde directly. Instead, Alforde found himself staring at the Reflection’s right pauldron.

Come at me.

Alforde charged forward and swung Slammy, but Shadowforde ducked beneath the blow and brought his weapon up in a wide swing that struck the armorsoul’s side. The [Dungeon Champion] went flying and landed hard.

Shadowforde straightened back up.

When you charge like that you present too large of a target, and so you make yourself easy to hit. This is the first thing we’ll remedy.

Alforde got back up to his feet and nodded. He was excited now. This is exactly what he’d wanted.

Shadowforde twisted once more.

Try and copy the way I’m standing. This stance will make it easier for you to reposition during fights, and you’ll be better able to lead with your pauldrons. You have more weapons than just your hammer, you must learn to use them.

With the Reflection correcting his form between hits, Alforde lost himself in the rhythm of the battle. This time though, his heart was light, and he was eager to throw himself into each clash.

Vee glared down at the slime in front of him. The blobby monstrosity had so far resisted all of his attempts to properly harness it, but the [Ghost Maestro] was determined to make something work. During his trips back and forth to the tower delivering Hanako’s materials, he’d seen that just as expected, the city was content to leave the dead bug carcasses alone until the elements got rid of them. Walking around Oar’s Crest hadn’t ever been particularly pleasant, what with the garbage and all, but the crunching and popping of tiny insect bodies was truly terrible. That’d given him an idea. Well, actually, it’d simply crystallized an idea he’d already had, but the effect was the same.

“This is for your own benefit, you know,” Vee told the minion. “The least you could do is help me keep you safe.”

If the people of Oar’s Crest saw a slime wandering around on its own, they might think another calamity was upon them and overreact. If the slime was leashed though, there wouldn’t be any issues.

The slime didn’t have eyes, so Vee didn’t know if it was looking at him or not, but he sensed a cold indifference all the same.

Pinching his thumb and index finger together, Vee activated [Shape Ectoplasm] once again and started fashioning a leash. He folded the energy into layers and stretched it like a long noodle. He’d given up on finding a way to wrap such an object around the slime’s amorphous body, but with a bit of luck, he thought he might be able to attach it to the creature’s core.

Plunging his hands into the slime to do so was unpleasant, to say the least. A slime wasn’t anything like ectoplasm. It was cold and gooey, and it tingled against his skin. Vee mentally kicked himself for not taking off his jacket before getting started, but there was no way he was going to pull his arms out now and do the whole thing again. He’d just get the coat cleaned when he had some more free time.

Vee wrapped the leash around the slime’s core and tied it into a makeshift knot. He gave it a little pull and smiled when it stayed in place. It might not hold if the minion started moving quickly, but that wasn’t really a concern. It was a slime, for Gawain’s sake! Other than the metallic varieties, they weren’t exactly known for their speed.

After freeing his arms and wiping the slime off as best he could, Vee watched the leash. If the slime digested it too quickly, he’d have to add more layers of ectoplasm to his next attempt.

Twenty minutes later though, the leash still looked perfect. Vee figured it’d be fine for his purposes, and made a backup just in case his first one started melting as he went to work. Ectoplasm could be funny, sometimes.

[Congratulations, you are now a Ghost Maestro, Level 23!]

Vee dismissed the notification. It had been a good bit of work.

If things went well, he’d make some more leashes and rope the rest of his associates into helping with the slime-assisted cleaning, but for now he wanted to go and test the market by himself.

Well, not totally by himself.

[Devious Mind +1]

Reginald glared up at Vee as the [Dungeon Master] explained his idea.

“I can’t believe you’d ask me to do such a demeaning thing,” the spirit said. “I have my dignity, you know!”

Vee shrugged and picked the hat up.

“You don’t really have much of a choice. You know how slow business has been,” the [Dungeon Master] said. “Don’t you want to do your fair share to help bring in a few fleurs until we properly reopen?”

With his hat cursing him out, Vee climbed down the steps of the tower and headed back to the city.

“I’m pretty sure I hate you,” Reginald said as Vee walked in through the gate and headed towards the nearest row of shops. The [Dungeon Master] was holding him upside down by the brim, and waving the hat at everyone he passed by.

“Come on,” Vee said. “Let me see how good of a salesman you are.”

Reginald grumbled, but he opened his mouth all the same and started calling out to the people looking at the leashed slime.

“Come one, come all, get your bugs cleaned up by a slime from Crestheart! Just three silver fleurs! That’s right, just three silver fleurs and your bugs will be taken care of! You’ll be amazed at what this little guy can do! The slime’s impressive too! Come on folks, don’t be shy! Who’s going to be the first?”

It didn’t take long before someone decided that getting rid of the hassle of sweeping up bugs was worth a few coins. A middle aged man with a hefty gut and a thinning hair line ran into his store and scurried back out with his fleurs held high. He waved them at Vee.

“Hey, slime guy! Over here! I’ll pay! My back is killing me from all this sweeping!”

Vee smiled as he led the slime over to where the man was standing. The little minion was gurgling happily as it sucked up all the bugs it slid over. Clearly it liked this new source of food.

Hopefully it wouldn’t get full too soon. Vee hadn’t totally thought that part of the plan through.

Only one way to find out!

At Vee’s bidding, the man dropped his coins into Reginald, and the slime was given (almost) free reign of the sidewalk in front of the store. In less than five minutes, there weren’t any traces of bug left.

Vee thanked the man for his business and continued on his way as Reginald called out to other potential customers.

Word spread quickly, and before even an hour had passed, Vee was being swarmed by people who didn’t feel like sweeping anymore.

There was only one problem.

With each trio of fleurs they collected, Reginald grew heavier and heavier. Before long, Vee couldn’t hold up the hat anymore, and had to tie the slime’s leash around his wrist so that he could use both arms.

As far as problems went, it wasn’t a bad one to have.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales:

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 23 (+1)

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 14

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 4

Might: 10 (+1)

Wit: 28

Faith: 18

Adventurousness: 6

Ambition: 9

Plotting: 13

Charisma: 6

Devious Mind: 14 (+1)

Leadership: 14

Guts: 10

Intimidating Presence: 7

Citizenship: 9

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 18

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 11

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 10

Additional Class: Clunker (Vee Vales), Level 3

Might: 23 (+3)

Wit: 10

Faith: 24

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 7

Endurance: 12

Intimidating Presence: 9

Heart of a Champion: 3 (+1)

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 4

Vigilance: 4

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~H#r*$d o% ^he B&#e K#$@ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, L$#@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 36 (+1)

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 8

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 4

Might: 1

Wit: 27

Faith: 9

Ambition: 25

Greed: 21

Deceptiveness: 29

Manipulativeness: 34

F^#$#$%@#