Dungeons Are Bad Business

An adventurer was coming, an adventurer was coming! Alforde was so excited he could sing! He gave Slammy a few practice swings to loosen up his plates and pauldrons in anticipation of the upcoming battle and paced back and forth. Every second seemed like an eternity!

Why couldn’t the stupid adventurer show up already? It’d been…almost four hours since his last bout, and the [Glaciernaut] was ready for another. The last two fights had been small, boring things over almost as quickly as they’d begun. Desperately, he hoped that this approaching adventurer would prove to be more of a challenge. After all, he, the shining [Dungeon Champion] of Crestheart deserved no less! By the strength of his arm, the dungeon would be defended against all comers!

The world seemed to shimmer, and Alforde saw himself standing in a grand arena of gold and diamonds surrounded by hordes of screaming fans as he readied himself to battle against a mighty challenger. He basked in the glory of their adoration, returning rapturous waves with a confident shake of his gauntlet as they chanted his name.

“I am Alforde Armorsoul, the unstoppable [Glaciernaut]!” he cried as he let his imagination carry him away even further. The tide of excitement rose in his cuirass. “Gaze upon me and tremble!”

His voice echoed off the wood and stone of the arena around him, and the armorsoul snapped back to the moment. He turned left and right, feeling slightly disoriented and a little foolish. He gave his helmet a shake. Though he’d always been prone to letting his imagination run wild, his daydreams had never been so realistic. They seemed to come on more often when he was caught up in the eagerness of battle, which was like a hunger growing stronger every day.

A part of him wondered if it was wrong that he’d come to enjoy fighting so much, as if he wasn’t being true to himself, but it was small and difficult to give weight to. After all, wasn’t it his duty to fight? Armorsouls were created for battle, built to be the unflinching infantry in the wars of the distant and almost forgotten past. Wasn’t he being absolutely true to himself by reveling in that task? Shouldn’t he feel fulfilled by giving his all to help Vee make Crestheart the best dungeon it could be?

Of course he should! He was the [Dungeon Champion]! The last line of defense! Vee was counting on him, and Alforde wasn’t going to let his best friend down!

Still, he couldn’t quite shake the fact that with every fresh bout of imagination, he was teetering on the edge of something he didn’t want any part of. Unsure of what else to do, the armorsoul tightened his grip around his hammer at the thought.

He was distracted from his short period of melancholy by the telltale squeak of the stairs outside and the creak of the door as it slid open.

A thin girl wearing a long robe walked in and raised her dagger in salute. It was Minerva, who Alforde recognized from his regular sparring with the adventurers. He felt his excitement wane a little bit at the prospect of facing her, for while the girl was quick and nimble, she didn’t have much in the way of attack power. She typically won her fights by wearing her opponents down until they could fight no more.

You’ll find that such a tactic won’t work on me, the armorsoul thought. I am tireless!

After explaining the rules and giving the [Acrobat] her SSB, Alforde readied his hammer and attacked. Once, he’d been content to let the adventurer strike the first blow, but his impatience at having waited so long got the better of him.

Minerva ducked beneath his strike and jumped to his left, her knife bouncing off his armor harmlessly.

Alforde swung again and the girl dodged once more, rolling so that she was now behind him and continuing her useless attacks. Fury tightened Alforde’s gauntlets. Why was she not fighting him properly? Seething, the [Dungeon Champion] launched a vicious [Combo Attack].

None of his blows found their mark, and the [Acrobat] jumped up into the air. She spun around twice, clutching her knife to her chest as she did so, and landed behind Alforde once again.

“You’re slower than I thought,” she said with a smile. “Getting lazy down here?”

Alforde growled and went to charge her, but his legs didn’t move properly and he fell to the ground. The armorsoul tried to stand back up, but something was wrapped tight around his lower body, and he didn’t know what it was. A probing touch revealed that it was some sort of string, though it was sturdy enough that he couldn’t break it with his gauntlets no matter how he pulled.

After a few moments of fruitless flailing, the armorsoul looked up at the adventurer. “Untie me! Fight me for real!”

The girl’s smile widened and she shook her head. “Sorry, but if I did that, I would lose without question,” she said. "That's why I saved up enough to buy this {Enchanted Binding}."

“A trick! This won’t be your victory!”

“Sure it will,” she shrugged. “Ties go to the adventurers, don’t they? Since beating you in a normal battle is off the table, all I have to do is keep from getting knocked off this platform for the next six and a half minutes and the prize is mine. Experience towards attaining [Rogue], too.”

She sat down and balanced her knife on her index finger. Alforde struggled, growing frantic, but nothing he did loosened the rope at all. If anything, it seemed to get tighter.

“Shadowforde,” he cried. “Attack!”

The Reflection appeared, but the girl dispatched it handily before returning to her rest.

Fury unlike anything Alforde had ever felt blossomed in the armorsoul’s chest, as he strained and pulled in a vain attempt to break free. His Might simply didn't matter; the rope didn’t so much as budge. Eventually, Reginald called the match in the [Acrobat]’s favor. Only then did Minerva give the word to slacken the rope, letting Alforde go.

“I did it!” she said, clapping her hands as her mouth split into a wise smile. “I won!”

Watching Minerva’s celebration, Alforde seethed, and he turned away from her as she walked over to retrieve her reward from the chest in the back of the arena.

His gauntlets tightened around Slammy’s handle.

It hadn’t been a proper bout. The girl did not deserve her victory.

[Jealousy is not becoming for one in your position.]

[Heart of a Champion – 2]

Alforde snorted.

What did he care for such petty judgments?

Vee crunched through the thin layer of snow on the path back to Westown, keeping his eyes on Alforde’s back. Even if the pulsing rage hadn’t been a constant stream through his bond to the armorsoul, Vee would have known that his friend was upset. He’d barely said a word as they counted up the day’s earnings – twenty two hundred and seventy three silver fleurs, after paying taxes and minion replacement fees – and had declined to acknowledge the adventurers outside the tower. He’d looked especially venomous at the sight of Minerva showing off her new necklace.

Vee had a bad feeling about the situation, and told Rortenferry that they’d have to discuss the fiends further another time. It wasn’t like Alforde to be such a sore loser, and making sure his friend was okay was Vee’s top priority.

“I’ve got to say something to him,” Vee muttered to Reginald as he stumbled in a pile of snow. “He’s like an armored storm cloud up there.”

“It’s only going to get worse if you don’t,” Reginald agreed. “I don’t think there’s any room left for doubt anymore, Boss. Something’s messing with the big guy’s head.”

“Yeah,” Vee said. “But I don’t know what it is or how to fix it.”

“No time like the present to figure it out, right?”

That was true, so Vee lengthened his stride and got in front of Alforde. His [Right Hand Man] glared down at him, and Vee folded his arms across his chest.

Alforde stopped walking, but his posture was standoffish and their bond shook with irritation. Resting Slammy on the ground, Alforde spoke, his voice clipped and curt.

“What?! What do you want, Vee?”

“Honestly? I want to know why you’re being such a bi—” Vee started to say, but he stopped himself before he finished the last word and escalated the situation. He wasn’t looking to start a fight. This anger isn’t truly mine, he told himself sternly, willing “his” temper away with a couple slow, deep breaths.

Shaking his head, Vee said, “I’m worried about you, buddy.”

“There’s nothing to be worried about. I’m fine.”

Alforde took a step to the left to walk around the blue-haired [Ghost Maestro], but Vee reached up and grabbed the armorsoul’s gauntlet. The air grew even chillier and frost formed around Vee’s fingers.

“I disagree,” the [Dungeon Master] said, forcing his voice to remain calm and steady as the chill spread into his arm and shoulder. “Just hear me out, okay?”

“What if I don’t want to?” Alforde snapped. “Are you going to make me stand here and listen to you?”

Vee squared his shoulders and met his friend’s gaze without flinching. A heavy silence settled between them and even Reginald didn’t say anything to break it. The truth of the matter was that as a member of the Vales family and a [Ghost Maestro], Vee could force Alforde to listen to him. Easily. However, that was a line Vee wasn’t willing to cross, and they both knew it.

Taking such an action would sever their friendship, breaking their bond beyond repair and turning them into nothing but Master and Servant for the rest of their days. Vee hadn’t spent his entire life rejecting such authority to step headlong into it now, so he shook his head and pulled his hand free from Alforde’s gauntlet. The frost tugged at his skin but didn’t wound him, and his teeth chattered from the oppressive cold surrounding them both.

Vee decided to change tack. Tucking his hands into his pockets and taking a step back, Vee smiled up at the armorsoul and said, “Do you remember when I was seventeen and thinking about running away from home? With that girl, Glysaela?”

Alforde chuckled, the sound as welcome as a freak rainstorm in the middle of a drought. Though the tension between the friends remained, it was a lesser thing, like an afterimage following a peek at the sun.

“I remember you trying to become a willing hostage because a pretty girl smiled at you and asked,” Alforde replied.

Reginald spluttered and flapped his brim.

“You did what, Boss?!”

Vee waved a hand dismissively.

“He left out a few crucial details and critical bits of context, but that’s a story for another time. We’re not talking about me. Or, I mean, I guess we are, but just to make a point. Look, Alforde, the reason I brought that up was because I think I’m in the same place you were back then. Remember how you tackled me to keep me from climbing out my window? Well, just like how I didn’t see what a big mistake I was about to make, I don’t think you realize how different you’ve been acting these last couple weeks.”

He paused to let Alforde say something, but the armorsoul stayed quiet, so the [Ghost Maestro] continued on.

“You’re always talking about fighting, your every free minute is spent sparring or practicing your hammerwork, and you’ve even started earning points in Vanity. Doesn’t that seem a little off to you? Hell, you’re even on the verge of having overdue library books! I don’t think that’s ever happened before.”

“It has, but only once,” Alforde said quietly. “It was back when I let you borrow my copy of –“

“Like I said, never happened before,” Vee said quickly, but he was grinning a little bit and Alforde was more relaxed as well. He was making progress; he could feel it.

“Anyways, you get what I’m saying right? I don’t know what’s going on with you, if it’s the new armor, or the new class, or the phases of the moons, but it’s not you. You shouldn’t be so upset just because you lost a single fight.”

And just like that, Alforde stiffened and was clearly furious once again.

“What she did was wrong!”

Vee shook his head.

“How?! There’s no rule anywhere that says adventurers have to slug it out with you and defeat you with overwhelming Might! The rules are to see who gets knocked off the stage first, and if neither of you manage that then we give the tie to the challenger. If an adventurer wanted to run around the arena for the entire eight minutes and you couldn’t catch them, they’d win too! You were beaten fair and square, Alforde, now let it go and stop sulking.”

“It wasn’t a fair fight,” Alforde insisted, and at the obstinate burst of emotion that traveled through their bond, Vee felt a flash of burning anger that was his own.

“Of course it wasn’t,” Vee cried, gesturing. “I threw so many minions at her before she reached you that I lost count! Don’t even get me started on all the traps and platforms she had to dodge and clamber over, or the brand new mini boss she had to beat, either. I do that to every adventurer you face! Have you forgotten what business we’re in? I’ll give you a hint: it’s not the fair fights industry!”

“Take it easy, Boss,” Reginald said sternly. “You’ve made your point.”

Vee opened his mouth like he was going to ignore his [Majordomo], but thought better of it and refrained from saying anything further.

Alforde shifted back and forth, as if internally debating how to respond. Finally, he nodded.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” the armorsoul said stiffly, stepping to the right and walking past Vee.

The [Dungeon Master] regretted losing his temper, knowing better than to push the matter any further for the time being.

[Leadership -1]

Brooding in silence, the [Dungeon Master] kicked a few tufts of snow, replaying the conversation in his mind and thinking about all the ways he could have handled it better. There was a term for that, thinking of the perfect thing to say after the moment passed, but he couldn’t remember what it was just then. Surely it’d come to him later.

With his hands still in his pockets, Vee trudged back to the gate.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 28

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 18

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 12

Wit: 31

Faith: 21

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 14

Plotting: 18

Charisma: 12

Devious Mind: 22

Leadership: 15 (-1)

Guts: 13

Intimidating Presence: 9

Citizenship: 20

Public Relations: 6

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 21

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 11 (-1)

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 14

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 3

Might: 39

Wit: 12

Faith: 26

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Endurance: 19

Intimidating Presence: 13

Heart of a Champion: 6 (-2)

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 6

Vanity: 4

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 39

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 15

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 8

Might: 1

Wit: 32

Faith: 11

Ambition: 27

Greed: 22

Deceptiveness: 28

Manipulativeness: 36

$#&*!@!!

Loyalty: 46

Patience: 9

[#&%%%@%!#@__--#%]

%^(@#!! @#$@!@#

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 7